Final Fantasy VII: Reflections - Book 1: Descent
by Jairus
Summary: Badly hurt while defending the Sector 7 pillar, Jessie Rasberry reflects upon the decisions and events that brought her there. The daughter of one of Shinra's most powerful executives, she recalls the difficult path that led her to the slums and Avalanche. Featuring a blend of original, remake, and new elements to create a new and unique take on Jessie's story.
1. FOREWORD

**FOREWORD**

_I've heard__ that before you die, you __can s__ee your life __flash__ before your eyes. I never used to believe __in __that __sort of thing__, though._ _My world __was_ _a __simple __one__, __full of __gadgets, devices, monitors, and machines. And_ _bombs, __of course__. I suppose it's ironic that those same things __led __me __to the Sector 7 pillar and __to… wherever it is I am now__._

_I'__m floating, hovering in the dark. I don't know where. Or what. Life, death… or somewhere in between. The last thing I remember, I was high up in the tower, thirteen stories above the slums. Facing down the Shinra chopper, a raspberry in my hand—those were my special grenades. I gave those puppies quite a kick when I made 'em._

_Bullets, chewing into my raised arm just as I threw the raspberry. A blast, fire everywhere. And then… Cloud was there. He came for me. Just like he promised he would. Everything's muddled after that, __just a blur of color and sound. Maybe I'll remember when I wake up—if I wake up. Or maybe I'm already returning to the planet and I just don't know it yet. In any case, I can see images in my mind, a slideshow of memories floating across my thoughts one after another._

_So it really is true…_

_I grew up in my father's mansion on the Sector 5 plate. It was one of the biggest in Midgar, and he was one of the city's most powerful men. A girl of privilege and plenty—that's what I used to be. There was nothing I wanted back then that I didn't have. Except a happy family. When I was little, things weren't so bad. My father spoiled me rotten, got me anything I wanted, though he never played with me. But he still had a small bit of warmth in him in those days, and I felt like he cared about me even if he didn't really know how to show it._

_But that was before he rose up the ranks at Shinra. Before he became obsessed with power and war. The higher he went, the farther away from me and my mom he grew. We became a burden to him, and home was a place of tension and pain. I haven't called him Daddy since I was eight or nine. We drifted apart, further and further._

_I loved to tinker even when I was a kid. I'd take apart my toys all the time to see how they worked, then I'd put them back together. I kept at it as I grew older, building my own computers and dissecting any electronic device I could get my hands on. I wanted to learn about it all, and it was as much a passion for me as my acting._

_I did it a lot as a kid, school plays and whatnot. I loved it and kept at it with all my heart, and by the time I was in my early teens, I'd had roles in several plays at a smaller theater in Sector 8. Mom always came to see me perform, but my father never did. I wasn't surprised, though I wished he would've been there. Just once. Maybe that's part of why I quit. As far apart as we'd grown, I still wished and hoped that things might change. I thought that if I went to him, spent some time in his world, I could make that happen. Damn, what an idiot I was._

_When I was sixteen, I left the stage to work for Shinra. I didn't know the truth about that terrible place yet, though. The dark underside below the friendly mask the company wore like a second skin. It was just a job, at least at first. I was a computer specialist, __one of many whose task was __to manage, maintain, and enhance Shinra's computers, information net, and other technological systems. __Good work, good pay—I liked it, and it was fun. That part of being there I don't regret._

_But then came my second job._

_Weapons design had been another hobby and dream of mine. I guess it was an outgrowth of my tech talents, but I enjoyed creating new things. And I also cared a lot about my family and friends. With the war against Wutai still going on, I just wanted to find ways to keep everyone safe and protect my home. Didn't mean I couldn't have a little fun with it, though. The weirder and stranger the designs, the better._

_I shouldn't have listened to Scarlet, though. I never should've trusted her. But I did, becoming her assistant, her protégé. And in my time there, I created a lot of things, powerful weapons that I'd intended to be used to protect people. But in my shortsightedness, I let them become twisted and warped into tools for killing and destruction. I might not have realized at the time what would happen, but I should have. Mom and others close to me tried to warn me, but I didn't listen. And because of my stubbornness and gullibility, a lot of people died._

_When a good friend and I both lost people close to us in the midst of all that, I finally began to realize the truth about Shinra. I dug, searching for answers to all the pain and death that had happened. When I finally found what I was looking for, I left. In spite of the high positions I had in both of my jobs by then, I didn't want to stay there anymore. I couldn't. It was too dangerous—my father was after me._

_I left home, too. He'd have found me if I'd gone back. With the help of a few good friends, I got myself set up and began a new life. It was also a cover, to help me hide from my father. I went back to the stage, complete with a new look and style. The shy, geeky office girl was gone, and in her place was a new woman. Not only in how I looked, but in how I felt, too. I also changed my name because my old one simply wasn't safe anymore. Jessica Heidegger became Jessie Jae._

_Yes, that Jessie Jae. The one and only. Midgar's sweetheart—at least, that's what the press used to call me. I never set out to be famous. It came as a bit of a surprise, actually. LOVELESS has been around since before I was born, but although I had dreamed of being part of it ever since I was little, I had never thought it would actually happen. Let alone that I'd get both the leading role and be on the poster._

_But that's what happened. The plan was supposed to be that I would stick to a small theater, doing shows there and staying out of sight as best I could. But then came the audition for LOVELESS, and I couldn't pass it up. No way. It was the chance of a lifetime, and I took it. I was one out of hundreds of girls all trying to get the part, and in spite of everything that happened later, I'm happy I won it._

_That's when I met him. My first love. Always came to see me act and sing—LOVELESS was a musical, and I had earned the starring role for a reason. We grew close enough over time that, after I'd gotten a little bit of encouragement from another new friend, I shared with him who I really was. And in spite of the potential danger, Kunsel stuck with me, loved me as much as I loved him. I was happy, for the first time in so long. I hoped it would last, but… things didn't turn out that way._

_Our separation wasn't by choice, though. It was my father. He found me, somehow. Figured out who and where I was. And I so I had to leave it all behind. My career, my life, my love—everything. That's how I came to the slums. Jessie Jae went missing one night, vanishing without a trace. I found out later that people have come up with all kinds of theories and ideas to explain it, that it's become this big mystery in Midgar. Whatever happened to Jessie Jae? No one really knows._

_The truth is, I had to leave the plate to stay ahead of my father. I had to start all over again. It was a different world, so different than what I'd known before. But I didn't have to make the transition alone. Aerith was there for me—my friend from the plate. Although she often worked there, she lived in the slums and helped me get back on my feet, taught me how to live in this strange and dangerous new place. Part of that meant that I had to leave my stage name behind me._

_I took my mom's maiden name instead, going from Jessie Jae to Jessie Rasberry. I was still lonely, though. I missed Kunsel terribly and thought about him all the time. But he had stayed behind to protect me, to throw off my father's pursuit and keep him away from me as much as he could. Even though it meant losing me. There was no way for us to know when or if I would ever be able to go back._

_Over time, though, things got better. I found a way to support myself and help others at the same time, found a part of myself I thought I'd lost long ago—the techie tomboy I'd left behind. I was able to use my skills to help people instead of hurt them, and I started to feel better about myself. But even so, I wanted to make up for the past. I felt like I could do more, that there was something further I could do._

_And then, not long after moving to Sector 7, I found them—the best friends I've ever known. They're like my family, and they took me in with open arms. Barret, so big and gruff, but with a softer heart than he'd like people to think—all you've gotta do is see him around Marlene to spot it. I'd do anything for those two, even walk into the fires of hell with a smile on my face. I owe it to them. I just hope that someday, if I make it out of this, I can find a way to tell Barret why._

_Tifa did more than just teach me how to fight. She's the sister I never had, always looking out for me. I've cried on her shoulder so many times, when the hurt and loss would get to me, and she never once complained. We'd talk at night sometimes out on the patio in front of the bar, standing at the rail or sitting at one of the tables as we looked out across town. She also knows just how to cheer me up whenever I'm down—a nice, big slice of her double chocolate cake does it every time._

_And then there's Biggs and Wedge. Those wonderful guys were there right from the start. They've helped me in so many ways since I moved to Sector 7, never asking for a thing in return. My best buddies. We're a trio, always will be. Biggs is a worrier, but it's only because he wants everyone to be safe. And Wedge might be shy sometimes, but he's a lot braver than he thinks he is. And he's got a heart as big as his belly._

_Bits and pieces of my life flit through my mind as I hover here in this strange place between life and death. I see more memories, closer now to the present. The day Barret invited me to join Avalanche. I knew by then where he'd come from and more, though he'd never said much other than the name. But that had been enough. And I had accepted his offer. It was the means for my redemption, or so I'd thought at the time. But, I have to admit, it was for revenge, too. For all I'd lost._

_Then, another memory surfaces. The night he and I first met. Cloud. Even floating here in the darkness that's all I know now, my heart flutters at the thought of him. He saved me that night, and it wouldn't be the last time. Did he save me again, in the pillar? I wish I could remember. I just know he was there somehow. But even if he was too late, I don't mind. It's enough that I could see him again. I'm in love with him. I never thought I'd feel that way again after losing Kunsel, but my heart didn't really give me much of a choice in the matter._

_I have my regrets, of course. And if this really is the end for me, then maybe I'll finally find the peace I've wanted all my life. But I've caused so much pain that maybe it's better if I don't. I suppose I've had this coming for a while now. At least, if I die… there'll be justice. I can rest better that way, I think. If I live, though… I have to atone. I have to make up for all that I've done. Somehow. I have to make things right._

_The images of my life swirl around me like a river. How do I unpack them to understand how I came here? Is this the end? The final act of my life's play? Or could it be the start of something else, a new beginning? I'm not sure, and honestly, I don't know which I want it to be. How can a girl like me, with so much blood on her hands, ever be clean again? I want it more than anything. But do I deserve it?_

– _Jessie Jae Rasberry_


	2. ONE

**ONE**

"Jessica! Hurry up! You don't want to be late!"

That was my mom, always reminding me about whatever I needed to do. Always worried. I was sixteen, and it was my first day at my new job. My first job ever, actually. A systems engineer and network tech in Shinra's Systems Operation Division. That was the group that managed and maintained all the computers, data, and software used by Shinra as well as their network infrastructure. Things like the central mainframe for all the ID scans from the trains.

I looked up to see Mom standing in the doorway of my room. She looked a lot like me. The same long, auburn hair and brown eyes. And like me, she was slim and short, so seeing her was like seeing myself in about twenty years or so. We had the same nose, too. I don't think I got very much from my father as far as how I look, though. I'm kinda glad for that, to be honest. Mom had aged pretty well, and you could hardly tell she was thirty-nine. She looked more like she was thirty. It gave me hope for how good I'd look at that age.

"I'll be right there!" I said, shutting down my computer. "I was just checking some files before we left."

Mom shook her head. "Always on your screens, aren't you?"

"I like it," I shrugged as I got up.

"Oh, I know you do, Jessica. But it wouldn't hurt for you to get out a bit more and make some friends."

I had to suppress the urge to roll my eyes. We'd had this discussion before. Lots of times. I followed her through the house with its soaring ceilings, spotless floors—Mom had always fussed about keeping things clean and neat all the time, which was probably why she always sighed whenever she saw the scattered mess that was my room—and then into the main hall leading into the foyer.

She and I had butted heads for years over the state of my room, but so far it had stubbornly resisted most attempts to keep it clean. As long as I could get to my bed, my desk, and the door, I was content, even if I had to step over a virtual disaster zone of wires, cables, computer parts, circuit boards, discarded clothes, adapters, and other bits and pieces of electronic equipment to get anywhere. My desk wasn't much better off, and it was a wonder that I could ever find anything in it. But somehow I always did, as much to my own surprise as Mom's.

Anyway, when Mom and I finally reached the front door—I swear, it must have taken us five minutes just to walk from my room to there, the house was so big—we found the housekeeper there waiting for us. Celeste was an older woman, in her late sixties, and had kept the estate clean and orderly for as long as I could remember. She was the head of the household staff and had been like a grandmother to me ever since I was little, and I loved her dearly.

"I just thought I'd see you off before you go, Jessica," she said. "This is a rather big day for you, after all."

I smiled. "Thanks, Nan."

I had called her that from the time I was five, but she never seemed to mind. And she had taken care of me a lot back then whenever Mom wasn't home. She was gone a lot not just because of her job—Mom was in charge of the Shinra Company's Public Relations Division—but also because of who she was married to. If my father wanted her present for some executive dinner or whatever, she had to go. You didn't say no to him, because if you did, you wouldn't like what he'd do to you. Nan and I had both seen the bruises that he'd left on Mom more than once over the years. My father wanted his way or else.

"Celeste," Mom said, "Richard has another meeting tonight, so he'll be at the office late again."

Nan nodded. "Of course. And you?"

"Jessica and I will be home around six, I should think. Please have Theresa make certain dinner is ready by then."

"Certaintly, ma'am. Anything else?"

My mind wandered as Mom gave Celeste a few last instructions as she usually did whenever she left the house. Nan didn't need to be told, of course—she knew her job much too well and had done it for far too long—but it was an old habit of Mom's that she'd never really broken. It didn't hurt anything, though, so Nan usually just let her go ahead with it. As they talked for a moment, I let my eyes drift across the foyer with its polished hardwood floor. A wide patterned rug stretched out along the middle of the room, and several doors stood closed along its length on both sides of the foyer beneath its high, arching ceiling. They all led into different parts of the house.

Several paintings hung on the walls, too. Abstracts, mostly—Mom had always liked art, and the paintings and sculptures that she'd bought over the years were displayed all through the house—but there was one exception. An immense portrait of my father dominated the back wall of the foyer above the doorway leading into the lounge, so that anyone who entered the house would immediately see it. It was as overbearing as he is, and I hated it with a passion.

General Richard T. Heidegger, head of Shinra's Peace Preservation Division. My father. He's one of the most powerful men in the city, and he answers only to President Shinra. Peace Preservation. Now there's a contradiction in terms. It was Shinra's military, their own private army, and peace was just about the last thing on their minds. But back then, I hadn't learned that lesson yet. It was very painful for me when I finally did, but the truth usually is.

Anyway, Mom and I said our goodbyes to Nan and walked outside. In the large driveway within the fenced-in compound waited our limo. Charles, the chauffeur, opened the door for us, and we slipped inside. I don't miss the luxuries I had back then, not really. Sure, they were nice, but… it's the people that I miss. Nan, Charles, Theresa, and others, too. I had always hoped I could seem them again, but… I don't know if it'll happen now. I hope they'll understand someday why I did what I felt I had to do, why I ended up in the Sector 7 pillar, fighting and maybe… dying… for a place and people so different from what I once knew. But in a way, I'm doing it for them, too.

The ride to the Shinra Building was a quiet one. I had been there a few times before, but not often. Sitting as it did in the center of the city, the place was huge, easily the largest building in all of Midgar, and as it slid into view through the window of the limo, it seemed to swallow up everything else in sight until it was all I could see.

The first part of the building rose up in a curving triangular tower with a second smaller tower atop it. Lights shone from every floor, and on the front was the Shinra logo. Above the second tower was an unlit section, something like a huge metal cylinder lying on its side, and just above it loomed the third and final section of the building. The offices of Shinra's upper management and the President were up there, and as I looked, I could see lights shining from the windows.

Several smaller towers, some of them lit and some not, surrounded the main building, and a number of massive pipes that must have been at least a dozen feet thick rose up out of the ground, bent horizontally, and connected to the Shinra Building and its surrounding towers. The pipes were full of mako, and the building was not only Shinra's central headquarters, but it also served as the main hub for transferring energy all across the city. I couldn't help but marvel at the place as we drove up in front of it, and when Charles opened the door of the limo for us and we got out, I stared up at the building's incredible height. I had to crane my neck to see all the way to the top.

"Impressive, isn't it?" Mom observed.

I nodded. "Yeah. I think it's bigger than the last time I saw it."

We both laughed for a minute, and after saying goodbye to Charles and watching him drive away, we climbed a short flight of curved steps in front of the main doors. They were made of fine, spotless glass, and each one had the Shinra logo in the middle of it. There were also a pair of narrow alleys that stretched off out of sight, one on either side of the building. I wondered where they lead but decided not to worry about it for now. Maybe I would find out later.

Pushing open the doors, we headed inside, and once again I found myself looking up. Past the two black desks on either side of us where a few receptionists were working, a pair of wide, sweeping staircases rose up on either side of the lobby all the way to the third floor, and I could see the higher levels rising up out of sight in a seemingly endless series of interior balconies. Sitting right in between the two sets of stairs was a large, rectangular sign of thick glass with the Shinra logo emblazoned on it, and through it I could just make out the shapes of a few different vehicles parked on display, including a pale blue three-wheeled truck. I was no mechanic, but I knew a bit about cars and trucks and bikes and liked peeking under the hood to see how they worked.

I followed Mom up the righthand staircase, all the way to the third floor. A few more vehicles stood on display here as we approached the elevators on the back wall, including a Hardy Daytona motorcycle over to my left past the top of the other staircase. Sparkling under the lights, the bike sat on a short platform to the side of the elevators. I wanted to go take a closer look, but we had to head upstairs soon. So I sighed and pulled my gaze away from the Hardy with an effort.

Standing near the elevator was a man in a crisp, dark blue business suit with a white button-down shirt and a tie as black as the hair on his head and the short, neatly-trimmed beard upon his face. His eyes were a pale blue and filled with warmth. I followed Mom as she approached him, a smile growing on her face, and saw him doing the same. So she knew him, but I couldn't recall her ever mentioning him before.

Mom nudged me so I was standing next to her. "Jessica, I'd like you to meet an old friend of mine. This is Reeve Tuesti. He's the head of the Urban Development Division."

"Nice to meet you, Director," I held out my hand.

He shook it and smiled. "And you, Jessica. Your mother's told me a great deal about you."

"All of it good, I hope," I grinned.

"Oh, yes," he chuckled. "And please, call me Reeve. I know that I'm your boss, but all that formality just irritates the hell out of me."

I grinned, liking him already. "Thanks. So you know my mom?"

Reeve nodded. "We go back a long way. Amanda and I, we grew up together, you see. But that's a story for another time."

Childhood friends? I was curious, of course, but I knew I wouldn't get any answers yet, so I let it go for now. Mom and Reeve chatted for a bit as my attention wandered and I tried not to think much about what was to come. My first day on the job. I knew I could do the work, but it was still a new experience for me. Then I noticed Mom had put a hand on my shoulder and was looking at me.

"Jessica, could you give us a moment, please? I'd like to speak with Reeve alone for a minute."

"Sure," I nodded. "I'll just wait over there."

I walked on over to the Hardy, actually running my hand along the seat when I got there. It really was a cool-looking bike, and I wondered what it would be like to ride it, feeling the wind blowing across my face as my hair flew behind me and the purring of the engine filled my ears. And maybe there would be a cute guy to join me. A strong, handsome bad boy with an attitude. Of course, I never expected that my silly little daydream would ever be anything more than that.

Who knew, right? Sometimes dreams like that really do come true, although not always in the way you expect. That was certainly the case for me. I could never have imagined back then where the course of my life would take me, and who it would lead me to. Maybe that's a part of why I fell so hard for him. Cloud was exactly the kind of guy I'd always dreamed of. Tough, cute, and dangerous, but with a tender side that he wouldn't show to just anyone, a caring heart hidden behind an icy cool exterior. I'm so glad I got to see it.

Anyway, I was daydreaming about boys and bikes when I heard my name and realized that Mom and Reeve were talking about me. I didn't know why, and I was curious to find out what they were saying. Sure, I know eavesdropping isn't exactly the best habit to have, but my interest was piqued, so I turned a little to hear them better while pretending to still be absorbed in looking at the Hardy.

"Reeve, do me a favor," Mom's voice was oddly quiet.

I glanced discreetly over at them to see Reeve nodding. "Of course, Amanda. How can I help?"

Mom sighed. "You know the kind of place this, and so do I. Jessica doesn't. Not yet. And it worries me."

"I understand. I'll keep an eye on her."

"Watch over her, Reeve," Mom urged him. "Keep her safe."

He took her hands in his for a moment. "I will, Amanda. You have my word. I'll do everything I can to protect her."

"Thank you. I know that she'll be working mainly on the 30th floor and won't really have much contact with her father or anyone else from upper management aside from you, but… I still worry about her. This place… it presses down on you after a while."

Reeve's gaze never left her. "I know. All too well."

"I wish I could just take Jessica and go, leave this city and start over somewhere else, but… I can't. Not yet."

I nearly stumbled when I heard that and barely contained the gasp that flew out from my lips. It was the first time I had ever known her to actually have considered leaving my father. I wanted her to, had argued with her about it for a long time. But she had always stayed, and it had left me mad at her more than once. I couldn't stand my father's temper and the way he'd hit her. He hadn't started on me yet, but I knew it was probably only a matter of time. I just hoped I would be out on my own long before that ever happened.

"Why not?" Reeve's question brought me from my thoughts.

Mom let go of him, turning away a little. "It's still too soon. If I did it now, I don't know that we would be safe."

"He'd come after you?"

"I don't know what he'd do," Mom shook her head. "And that's what scares me. He's so unpredictable. And dangerous."

Reeve nodded. "I know. But you said 'not yet.' I assume this means you have a plan."

"I do, yes. It'll take time, though. Years, maybe."

"What did you have mind?" he asked.

Mom waved a hand in front of her, brushing off his question, "No, I can't say anything yet. Especially not here."

"I understand," Reeve replied. "Anything I can do to help?"

"Just take care of my daughter, Reeve. That's all that matters to me. She's much too curious for her own good and is as smart as they come. It could get her in a lot of trouble if she were to start poking around in places where she shouldn't. There's a lot of things going on here that I'd rather she never found out about."

What did she mean by that? What was Shinra up to? They were the biggest company in the world, sure, but they did a lot of good. At least, that's what I had believed, once upon a time. All I had known then was the face they showed the world, the friendly and helpful veneer Shinra wore like a second skin. I hadn't discovered the truth yet, the dark and ugly nightmare lurking behind the mask. But I would, in time. Like my mom had said, my curiosity had a way of getting the better of me. And you know what it did to the cat.

Anyway, I listened as Reeve replied. "I know. I feel exactly the same way, Amanda. The secrets this place has… Jessica will be better off not knowing them. I'll keep her safe."

Mom smiled, and she turned back toward me, I looked away again, pretending I hadn't heard anything. She called to me. "Jessica? You can come back now, we're finished."

"Alright," I said, walking over to her and Reeve.

She motioned to him. "Go on upstairs with Reeve. I have to go and take care of a few things here for a while, but I'll be in my office later if you need me. And good luck. I'm very proud of you, Jessica."

I hugged her tight. "Thanks, Mom. I'll be okay."

With a final wave and a smile, she walked away, disappearing back down the stairs as Reeve pushed a button to call the elevator. It chimed a moment later, and the doors slid apart. I went inside as he held them open for me, and then he joined me and pressed the button for the 30th floor as the elevator shut behind him.

"Nervous?" he asked as the lift started to rise.

"A little," I admitted.

He didn't seem surprised. "That's quite alright. It's your first day on the job, after all. I think you'll do just fine, though."

"Thanks," I smiled. I could see why Mom liked him.

"You're welcome," he replied. "Systems Operation is one of Shinra's secondary divisions and is part of the Urban Development Division, so that means it falls under my purview. While I'm technically your boss, the head of SO will be your immediate supervisor. I'm sure you already met her during your interview."

I nodded. "Yes, I did. We got along pretty well, I think."

"That's good. Marissa will get you all settled in and will answer any questions you might have."

"What about you?" I wondered. "Do you work on this floor, too?"

Reeve shook his head. "No, my office is much higher up. But I like to come downstairs sometimes and see how everyone's doing, listen to their concerns, that sort of thing. So you'll see me around."

"I'm glad," I told him. "I don't know very many people here."

He put a hand on my shoulder. "I know. But remember, you're not alone. And my door is always open to you."

I smiled again. "Thank you, Reeve. I appreciate it."

"You're quite welcome," he said, letting go. "I work on the 57th floor if you ever need to come and see me. And I have other ways to keep in touch as well. More discreet and less… traditional."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He chuckled. "You'll find out soon enough."

* * *

It was a few days later that I discovered what Reeve meant. I'd been busy debugging some network code before heading off to lunch on the 60th floor. That huge tree in the middle of the main room was amazing. It was one of the only ones I'd ever seen in Midgar. Lots of people were there, sitting at the tables or bustling off somewhere on their own little errands. I had kept pretty much to myself, eating quietly and watching the activity going on around me. It all seemed pretty normal, not really very interesting, but I noticed that some of the people seemed anxious and uneasy, and a few others were walking around with their shoulders slumped and their heads drooping slightly as if the weight of the whole building was pressing down on them. I thought of what Mom had told Reeve the other day and wondered what it might mean.

After I had finished lunch, I went back downstairs to the 30th floor and returned to my cubicle only to find something weird there waiting for me. It was a cat, a stuffed toy about three feet tall sitting on the edge of my desk, its legs dangling over the side. It was kind of cute, actually, with the little crown on its head and the white gloves on its forepaws. It had black fur over most of its body aside from its chest, belly, face, and the tip of its tail, where the fur was white instead, and on its hind paws the cat wore a pair of brown leather shoes. Lastly, around its neck was a bright red bow tie and cape.

Who had left this for me? It was a sweet gift, but I had no idea who it had come from. I'd always had a thing for plush animals, and I'd still had a few back in my room from when I was a little girl. The cat would have its own special place there. I was just picking it up when suddenly something happened that scared me half to death. The cat twitched its whiskers, blinked its eyes, and waved at me!

"Hello, lassie!" it said. "Been waitin' around fer ye!"

I let out a little shriek in spite of myself and dropped the cat as if it had just caught fire. It fell to the floor with a soft plop and picked itself up, brushing itself off and straightening its gold crown before glancing back up at me. Although my heart was pounding, I was also curious to know more about this strange visitor of mine. Swallowing heavily, I sat down in my black swivel chair and leaned forward.

"Um, h-hi…" I managed. "Who… what are you?"

"Cait Sith's mah name. I'm a robotic plush toy ahn fortune teller, at yer service! Ahn ye must be Jessica."

I blinked. "I am, but how did you know that?"

"I get around," he replied. "A mutual friend sent mae to see ye."

"Reeve?" It couldn't have been anyone else.

Cait nodded. "Aye, that be him."

Letting out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding, I relaxed as I thought about what Cait had said. So this was Reeve's more subtle way of communicating with me. Did anyone else know about Cait Sith? My cubicle was in one of the middle rows, but the ones on either side were empty, and no one seemed to have noticed my little outburst at the cat's unexpected liveliness. It didn't really surprise me, since I had seen even in the short time I'd been here that most people kept to themselves and didn't worry much about anything other than their own jobs and lives. Cait must have been counting on that.

"Does he do this for all his new employees?" I asked, knowing the answer already but needing to hear it for myself.

Cait shook his head. "No, lass. Just you."

"Why me?" I wondered, although I suspected it had to do with the promise Reeve had made to Mom.

"I cannae tell ye. But I'm here to help ye if ye ever need it."

I wasn't surprised at his refusal to elaborate, so it didn't bother me. And it was good to have a friend here. "Thanks, Cait. And, um… sorry for dropping you earlier."

"It's alright, lass," he grinned. "No harm done."

I smiled. "You really scared me there for a minute, you know. I like stuffed animals and even talk to mine sometimes. I just never expected one to talk back. Guess I won't be taking you home after all."

"If ye really wanted, there's a few of mae that are just ordinary toys. I could get ye one if ye like."

"Maybe later," I laughed. "So, you said you're robotic?"

Cait hopped back onto my desk. "Aye. Reeve built mae. He's gonna make more, but fer now it's just mae."

I leaned back in my chair, utterly fascinated. It must have taken an incredibly sophisticated AI network and lots of complex programming to make Cait as responsive and lifelike as he was. I'd had no idea Reeve was a technological genius, and I couldn't help but admire his skill and ingenuity. I also liked Cait's strange accent and wondered where Reeve had come up with it. It was a nice touch.

"I'd love to hear how it works," I told him. "Your AI, programming, and all your other systems, everything about you. I just love computers and technology. Flashy stuff, you know?"

Cait's eyes twinkled. "I'd be happy to explain it all to ye, Jessica. So while yer busy doin' yer work, I'll just sit here ahn tell ye aboot maeself. Oh, but first, I've got somethin' fer ye."

It was then that I realized he was holding something in one gloved hand. It was a small cylindrical device of polished steel fitted with two round, slightly concave buttons near the top. Cait scooted over, handed it to me, and then returned to where he had been sitting. As I looked at it, I realized that what he had given me was a transmitter of some kind. I gazed back up at him in wonder. "What's this for?"

"Just a wee somethin' to help us stay in touch," Cait explained. "It's a transmitter ahn a communicator. Press the left button ahn I'll be here in a jiffy. Hold down the right button and ye can talk tae mae from just aboot anywhere in the city."

"Cait… thank you," I breathed.

He grinned. "Yer welcome, lassie. Now, aboot how I work, let's see, where tae start? Oh, I know…"

While Cait started telling me about himself, I slipped the device he had given me into my pocket and got back to work. Despite Cait being there next to me chatting away, I still managed to do my job. I'd always been good at splitting my attention, and the work itself wasn't too hard to begin with. As I made my way through all those lines of code, typing and clicking while listening to Cait, I wondered again about Mom and Reeve and the promise she'd had him make to her.

What was she trying to protect me from? What was going on here? Reeve had, through Cait, given me a way to contact him without others knowing about it. Why? What was it about this place that had him and Mom so concerned? What didn't they want me to know? I liked Reeve and Cait, but I couldn't help feeling a little overwhelmed by everything they were doing for me. It was sweet but also a little strange at the same time. I didn't really know what to make of it.

Working for Shinra was turning out to be a much more interesting experience than I had expected. And unusual. But what had happened so far was just the beginning of the long and ultimately dark road that I had found myself on. I didn't know what was in store for me, only that things seemed a little peculiar at my new job.


	3. TWO

**TWO**

Time passed, the weeks and months going by as they always have a way of doing, and while I grew more accustomed to working at Shinra, it always felt like there was something not quite right about the place. I couldn't put my finger on what it was, though. Cait sometimes came to see me, but often I was alone in my little cubicle. The ones that were on either side of me never did get occupied, and I wondered about that at first. But then I realized Reeve must have had something to do with it. It made Cait's visits less noticeable and less prone to being overheard. I sometimes felt like I was the only person on the floor, but it was nice to know he and I could talk freely, too.

Whenever I was on my breaks, I took to sketching out designs for all manner of different guns and bombs and other weapons—the more outlandish, the better. The war with Wutai had finally ended earlier in the year, but there were always monsters prowling around the badlands and creeping into the slums. Fortunately, none ever seemed to make it up to the plate itself. I was glad I didn't have to live down under it with the constant threat of those things over my shoulder. At least, that was how I had felt in those days.

I knew about weapons because of my father. It was one of the only things we could talk about, one of the only interests we shared, even if our motivations for it were vastly different. He lived for his power, and I could tell that even back then. During the war, he had often overseen things from Junon, Shinra's military city far south of here. I remember going there once when I was little and seeing the soldiers on parade. It was one of the only times that I've ever left Midgar. I'd love to go visit more places if I can. There's so much I want to see.

For me, the weapons were about keeping everyone safe, protecting those important to me, and that's why I started designing them. I didn't know then just what it would get me into, both at Shinra and also later on as well. If I had, I never would have done it. Watching your dreams being twisted into something murderous and terrible is something you don't ever forget, trust me.

I was up on the 60th floor again one day with some of my drawings spread out on the table I was having lunch at when I heard the clacking of high heels on the green marble floor behind me. I turned around to see a woman in a blood red slip dress and matching shoes leaning over my shoulder to look at the drawings, her blond hair pulled back into a short tuft with long bangs swept to one side.

"Is there something I can do for you?" I asked.

Her blue eyes narrowed as she folded her arms across her chest. "Is that how you address your superiors, young lady? Stand up!"

I swallowed and did as she asked. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"

"Save it, girl. You're Heidegger's little whelp, aren't you?"

"Yes, ma'am," I nodded.

She tapped her finger against her arm. Her nails were painted with dark red polish. "I thought so. Do you know who I am?"

I shook my head. "No, ma'am. I don't."

"Hmph!" she fumed. "I can see your father hasn't bothered to teach you very much about the company. But he did mention your interest in weapons design to me. I am Vera Scarlet, Director of Shinra's Weapons Development Division."

I reached out my hand. "Jessica Heidegger, ma'am."

"Well, at least you have manners," Scarlet took it. Her grip was like iron. "So it seems you're not a total loss."

"Thanks… I guess," I winced as she let go.

She frowned. "Not much of a spine, though. We'll have to work on that, I suppose. Don't let anyone talk down to you, Jessica. I don't. They try and I slap them down. Hard."

I straightened and looked her in the eye. "Yes, Director."

"Better," her lips curled into a smile, but there was no warmth in it. "I'll get you whipped into shape in no time."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

She pointed to my drawings, schematics I'd been working on in my free time. "You and I have something in common, Jessica. We love our weapons, our guns and our bombs. I could use someone like you as an assistant, if you're interested."

I blinked. "Your assistant? Weapons design?"

"Yes, girl. Don't act so slow. You need to be quick and not show any weakness. Not to anyone, and especially not here. And not to me. Am I making myself clear?"

"As crystal, ma'am," I answered.

Scarlet nodded. "Very good. So what's it to be?"

As tempting as her offer was, I didn't know what do about it yet, or what to think of her. Scarlet, I was quickly learning, was very different from Reeve, and I couldn't say that I liked her. She seemed so harsh, so utterly cold, and yet there was a strength in her that I couldn't deny. An iron will that made her the equal of any man and dared any of them to challenge her. I admit, I liked the idea of learning to be like that. But at the same time, I didn't want to lose who I was, either.

"Can I have some time to think about it first?" I asked.

Scarlet's hand slammed onto the table so hard I jumped. "What did I just tell you, Jessica? No weakness! No hesitation! You see something you want, you take it! Now try again!"

I swallowed heavily, looking her right in the eye. "I need some time to think it over. I'll get back to you tomorrow morning."

"See that you do," Scarlet replied. "I won't make this offer again."

She walked away without another word, and I let out a breath that I hadn't realized I'd been holding. After she had disappeared inside the escalator room over on the far right side of the floor, I gathered up my things and hurried toward the elevator, intent on returning downstairs to my cubicle to work and try and think about what had just happened. But halfway there, I stopped as an idea came to mind, and I acted on it at once, knowing it was the right thing to do.

Ducking out of sight into a short hallway leading to the restrooms, I looked around to make sure no one was watching, then reached into the front pocket of my slacks and pulled out the small transmitter Cait Sith had given me so many months ago. I hadn't used it very much yet, but now I felt I needed to.

I held down the button on the right. "Cait, are you there?"

"Aye, lass," he answered. "What's up?"

"Can you meet me at my desk downstairs? I just met Scarlet, and… well, it was an unsettling experience, to say the least. I'd rather not talk about it up here out in the open, though. I'm just not sure how much of what goes on in this place gets back to her."

Cait's response was immediate and uncharacteristically serious. "A whole lot more than ye'd think. Ye were quite right tae call mae, Jessica. I'll be doun there on the double."

"Thanks," I told him. "See you in a few."

After slipping the transmitter back into my pocket, I hurried out of the hallway and into the nearby elevator. It didn't take long to get back to the 30th floor, and Cait ambled in only moments after I had sat down at my desk. He hopped up and sat down next to me like he usually did with his legs dangling over the edge as I put my drawings aside. He saw them and looked up at me.

"Ye've been keepin' busy, I see," he said.

I nodded. "It's a hobby of mine. Kinda goes along with all that tech stuff I like, you know?"

Cait picked up one of the sheets. "Aye, I noticed that. But…"

"But what?" I wondered.

He sighed. "It can be dangerous, lassie. Especially in this place. Do ye know if Scarlet saw these?"

"That's why I wanted to talk to you, Cait. She came to see me about a job as her assistant. Weapons design. My father told her I was into it, probably insisted she make the offer. He always said I should have gone into her division right from the beginning, and this is probably his way of getting me in there."

"Are ye gonna take the job?" Cait asked.

I leaned forward. "I don't know. I can do some good with my work there, come up with things to protect everyone. And that's all I want to do with my designs, Cait. But I'm not so sure I like the idea of working for Scarlet. If she were more like Reeve, I'd go for it in a heartbeat. I like him. But Scarlet, she scares me."

"Aye, she does have that effect on people," Cait chuckled.

"So what should I do?" I said.

He jumped back down to the floor. "If ye want mae advice, Jessica, I'd go ahn talk tae Reeve before makin' up yer mind. He'll be happy tae help ye out, ahn he'd want to know aboot this."

"Yeah, I think I will," I agreed. "Is he in his office now?"

Cait nodded. "Aye, lass. Shall we?"

I got up right away, taking all my sketches with me, and we headed quietly over to the elevator, passing in between several rows of cubicles on the way. Almost everyone was at their desks, busy working and not really paying attention to much else. The only sounds were the tapping of keys—the keyboards we used were mechanical, not the flat ones that made a lot less noise, so it was pretty common to hear them even from across the room—and the occasional ringing of a phone.

I saw Marissa in her office, her fiery hair clearly visible through the glass wall, but her green eyes were locked onto her computer screen, so she didn't see me as I went by. It wouldn't have mattered if she did or if anyone else had, but somehow I was glad they didn't. Cait stayed pretty much out of sight, but whether it was because he didn't want to be seen or was used to sneaking about, I didn't know. But just before we got to the elevator, he disappeared with a wink into a nearby air duct, waving at me before he slipped inside.

About five minutes or so later, I stepped out onto the 57th floor and entered a large waiting area covered in soft, thick blue carpet. A young secretary sat working behind a nearby desk with a pair of polished oak doors just behind her and to her right.

She looked up as I walked over. "Can I help you?"

"Yes, I'd like to speak with Director Tuesti, please," I told her.

"One moment," she replied, picking up the phone lying next to her. "Just have a seat and he'll be with you soon."

I did, and it was only a few minutes later that the double oak doors swung open and Reeve motioned for me to come inside. He didn't look surprised to see me, and I figured Cait must have gotten here first. As I entered the spacious office, I saw that I was right. He was sitting on the edge of a wide mahogany desk like he often did on mine, and he waved at me when I stepped inside. Reeve closed the doors and swept an arm toward a pair of cushioned chairs opposite his desk before settling into his own high-backed leather seat.

"It's good to see you again, Jessica," he said. "Please, sit down."

I did. "I guess Cait's told you why I'm here."

"Only that you were coming to see me and that you'd had a run-in with Scarlet not long ago."

I nodded. "You could say that."

"Seems like she's got you pretty rattled," Reeve noted.

"A bit," I admitted. "She's very… forceful."

He laughed. "That's putting it mildly. Tell me what happened."

Pushing a few strands of hair from my face—I had worn it down a lot back then instead of in the long ponytail I had started pulling it into after moving to the slums—I told Reeve about my unexpected meeting with Scarlet and the job offer she had made me. I also shared with him my misgivings about her as well as my desire to use my designs to help others and protect everyone.

"I know Scarlet probably won't be easy get along with," I said, "but I think I can still learn from her."

Reeve scratched his beard. "She _is_ intelligent, that's true enough…"

"But?" I prodded.

"She's also utterly ruthless, Jessica. She doesn't have the same ideas about weapons as you. I was hoping you would never meet her. One of the reasons I was glad you were working in Systems Operation. I never thought she'd seek you out, though."

I frowned. "My father told her about me."

"That would explain it. They work together often enough. Though it does surprise me. Your father doesn't seem like the kind of man who looks after anyone but himself."

"Believe me, he isn't," I growled.

Reeve raised an eyebrow. "You've seen that yourself?"

"Too often," I sighed. "We don't talk much, and he's always locking himself in his study with his brandy and cigars. Sometimes I'll hear my mom and him arguing. Yelling, actually. Happens pretty often. And she ends up with bruises more often than not. He's also terrible to the staff, and they're all afraid of him. Me too, to be honest."

"I can't say I'm surprised. He's always had a temper, even before he met your mother. I'm sorry you've been caught up in it."

I smiled. "Thanks. What did she ever see in him, anyway?"

"I'm not entirely sure myself," Reeve said, "but in his younger days, Heidegger did seem to have a way with women. You'd have to ask your mother to know more, though. In any case, you don't think he was just trying to help you out?"

"He's not one to do me any favors," I shook my head.

Reeve sat back in his chair. "I see…"

"We were close once, back when I was little. He spoiled me rotten, got me just about anything I wanted. I can remember him taking me to Junon with him on one of his trips there when I was five. My mom was with us, too. My father had sat me on his shoulders so I could watch as the soldiers marched by in one of Shinra's parades. We had a lot of fun, and it's one of the only times I've ever felt like we were a family. I really miss that sometimes, you know?"

"I think I do," Reeve answered softly.

"Why do people change like that?" I wondered. It was a question I had asked myself a lot over the years. "Why couldn't he have stayed the way he used to be?"

Reeve sighed. "I don't know, Jessica. But power like his has a way of turning people against everything they might once have been. It festers in your heart and eats away at you, bit by bit, until there's nothing left. I wish things had turned out differently for you."

"Thank you, Reeve. So do I. You seem to be alright, though. Power doesn't twist everyone, at least."

He laughed. "You're very kind to say that. Believe it or not, Jessica, I grew up in the slums. Your mother, too. It wasn't until much later that we both moved up onto the plate. I think remembering where we came from helps us to stay grounded."

"Is it true, what they say?" I asked. "About the slums, that is. People talk about them, and I've heard a lot of rumors. My father told me that the people down there are lazy and worthless and that they have thugs and monsters everywhere. Also that they eat rats."

Reeve gazed at me pointedly. "What do you think?"

I pursed my lips in thought. "I don't really know. But I have a hard time believing it's entirely the way he says it is."

"Well, the slums _are _dangerous. I won't lie to you about that. But in spite of the gangs and monsters, many people still live and work down there. Most of them are just like you and me, Jessica. There's poverty, I can't deny that, but it's not like what the rumors say. Your mother and I never had to eat any rats, either."

"I'm glad," I chuckled. "I don't think they'd taste very good."

Reeve smiled. "No, I don't suppose they would. In any case, do you know what you're going to do about Scarlet's offer?"

I shook my head. "I'm not sure. What do you think?"

"To be honest, Jessica, I would prefer you stay as far away from her as you can. Scarlet is a very dangerous woman, and she's bound to have her own reasons for wanting to hire you."

I wasn't surprised. "I understand what you're saying, Reeve. But it's also a chance for me to put some of my designs to use, turn my dreams into a reality, and help people."

"I won't tell you what to do," he leaned forward, his eyes locked on mine. "The choice is, of course, yours to make. But I'm afraid working for her may be a decision you'll come to regret later on. She cares only for herself and has no regard for others. Whatever you decide, Jessica, I ask you to promise me something. Never turn your back on her. Don't trust her for a minute. Do you understand?"

"Yes," I answered. "And I promise. I'll keep my eyes open."

Reeve nodded. "Good. And regardless of your decision, you'll keep working in Systems Operation?"

I stood up. "I will. I like what I do."

"Glad to hear it. You've been doing extremely well there so far. I'm very pleased with your work, Jessica. Keep at it and you could very well be running SO yourself someday."

My jaw dropped. "Really? You mean that?"

"Oh, yes," Reeve smiled, also standing. "You have great potential as well as a natural gift for that sort of thing. Between Marissa and Cait, I get a lot of good reports about you."

"Thank you!" I exclaimed. "Thank you so much!"

I could hardly believe it. Me, a division head? I had only been here for a few months and had never even thought about a promotion until now. I had just busied myself with doing my work, getting my projects done, and taking on whatever extra jobs Marissa had available for me. I had never expected much in the way of advancement. It was still some years away, of course, and I still had a lot of work to do to earn it, but it made me happy just thinking about it.

I don't think I stopped smiling for an hour after that.

* * *

My father came home early that night. I was in my room, laying in bed when I heard his heavy footsteps tromping down the hall. I wasn't sure yet whether to accept Scarlet's offer, but I hadn't discarded the idea either. I'd been mulling it over in my mind, too preoccupied for once to even mess around on my computer like I usually did. You'd think, after staring at a screen all day, that I'd get tired of it.

But usually, I didn't. It was a passion of mine, my program writing and coding, doing all kinds of neat things like that and trying to figure out technological solutions to different kinds of problems. Back then, I had believed that most things could be fixed with the right algorithms or computer programs. It was all I wanted to do, really. But over time, I found out it's not as true as I had once believed. There are some things that no amount of software or hacking skill can change, no matter how advanced the technology is. There are some wrongs that can't be made right by anything other than sacrifice.

Maybe… maybe that's why I don't mind… dying. Blood for blood, you know. Mine, to atone for what's on my hands. I don't know if that's what's happening to me or if I'm just badly hurt and unable to wake up. Cloud told me once that, in spite of everything that's happened, I'm not a bad person, that I wouldn't feel so much pain about what I'd done if I was. It was a sweet thing for him to say, and I believe him. If I do wake up from whatever this is, I'm gonna do everything I can to atone for all the death and destruction I've caused.

Anyway, I got up, remembering what Scarlet had told me about my father letting her know I was interested in weapons design. What I had told Reeve was true. My father hadn't done anything for me literally in years. I couldn't accept that he was trying to be nice to me. It just didn't fit with what I knew he had become. So I decided to get a few answers. I hurried down the hall after him until I finally caught up with him just outside his study. "Just a minute!"

"Hmm?" he raised a bushy eyebrow. "What is it, girl?"

"I need to ask you something," I told him. "About work. I think you know what I mean."

My father grunted. "Oh, that. Get in here, then."

He opened the door, and I nearly jumped out of my skin a moment later when I saw Mom behind his desk. She almost never came in here, he had all but forbidden her to do it. What was going on? Mom let out a little gasp of her own and shot to her feet.

"Richard! I didn't—"

"Save it, Amanda!" he growled, his thick hands bunching into fists. "You know damned well you're not to be in here. What were you doing in my office? Snooping around?"

She put her hands on her hips. "You left some of your papers in the sitting room the other day and I was simply putting them away for you. I wasn't expecting you to be home so soon."

"Clearly not," my father snorted.

Although her excuse sounded plausible enough, and I had seen the papers she had mentioned myself, I knew there was more to it. She was holding something back, and I didn't know why. But I knew it couldn't have just been to avoid his temper. Mom had never tried to lie her way out of it before, and I knew she wasn't going to start now.

My father grunted. "Just get out, woman! But before you do, you'll tell me how you got in here. I keep it locked, and you know it. So what the hell's going on?"

I knew he kept a lot of sensitive information in here from work, he had mentioned it once or twice to me while informing me I was to stay away. But what would Mom want with it? She had never shown interest in his work before, at least that I knew of. I reminded myself to ask her about it later. But in the meantime, I decided to do what I could to try and defuse the potential fight I knew was approaching.

"Mom, I've got news about work," I told her, trying to head off the argument by changing the subject.

She looked over at me. "Yes, dear? What is it?"

Hesitantly, I told her about my encounter with Scarlet and how she had offered me a job as her assistant. But I said nothing about meeting with Reeve and talking with him and Cait. Not now, not in front of my father. I decided to save that for later.

"That's good, Jessica," she said, eyeing my father.

"Hmph!" he growled. "Should've gone into Weapons Development in the first place, girl, like I told you."

My eyes narrowed. "I like what I do and where I'm at."

"You're wasting your time and your talents!"

"Is that why you told Scarlet about me?" I shot back. "So you could have me where _you_ wanted me?"

He glared. "I was doing you a favor, girl!"

I very much doubted that. "You haven't done anything nice for me since I was five years old! And you've practically ignored me ever since I hit puberty! Mom was the one who helped me find and get the job at Shinra, not you. So don't pretend this is about me!"

"Why, you ungrateful little—!"

"Richard!" Mom cut him off, her arms out between us.

For a moment we just stood there, my father and I, our eyes locked on each other. My heart was racing, and my blood boiled like magma. I should have known this would happen. Trying to talk with him always ended up this way sooner or later. It was almost funny. I had spoken up about the job offer in order to keep my parents from fighting again and had ended up getting into it myself.

So much for keeping things calm. I had been so worried about my father's temper that I had forgotten about my own. It didn't show itself very often, but he _always_ managed to bring it out of me somehow. Not wanting to be near him for another minute, I stormed out of his office and down the hall, my parents' voices erupting behind me. When I got to my room, I slammed the door behind me and threw myself onto my bed with a long, weary sigh.

It was about twenty minutes or so later that I heard a soft knock on my door. I got up and opened it to see Mom standing there, a new and ugly bruise darkening her left cheek just under her eye. A wave of guilt washed over me as I let her in. It was my fault, I knew it was. I couldn't meet her gaze as I closed the door behind her, and for a moment there was only silence. I knew she didn't blame me, she never had, not once. But somehow that only made me feel worse, shame and regret twisting my gut into knots. We sat down side by side on the bed, and my fingers gripped the edge so tightly my knuckles whitened. I was really starting to get tired of seeing her like this.

I sighed. "Mom, I "

"No, Jessica," She shook her head. "Don't you start apologizing. It's not your fault. You've always been too hard on yourself."

"But if I hadn't gotten him mad like that…" I began.

Mom patted my hand. "He would have found another reason to do it. He always does. Don't blame yourself."

Easier said than done. I hated the things he did to her, and I hated him for doing them. And I couldn't dismiss my sense of guilt so easily. Despite what Mom had said, I still felt responsible for setting my father off and causing the very fight I had been hoping to avoid. As I thought about that, I felt my anger return, simmering just beneath the surface. I gripped the edge of the bed even tighter.

"Why do you stay with him, Mom?" I asked. "Why can't we just get out of here and not come back?"

She shivered. "It's not that easy. I only wish it were…"

I looked at her. "What do you mean?"

"We can't just pack up and leave, Jessica. You know just as well as I do that your father is one of the most powerful men in Midgar, maybe even the world. He's the kind of man who wants control over everyone and everything around him, including us. If we left now, he would find us eventually, and there's no telling what he might do to us. He doesn't care who he hurts as long as he gets what he wants."

"Even us?" I stared. "His own family?"

Mom nodded. "Power is all that matters to him anymore."

I knew she was right, but I hated it just the same. A part of me still wished that somehow, he would go back to being the way he was when I was little. It was a childish hope that for some reason, I still clung to. I guess I didn't want to accept that the man he had once been, the father who had sat me on his shoulders in Junon when I was a child, who had made me feel safe and secure even as he fed me sugary wisps of cotton candy that day, was never coming back.

"Why did you ever get involved with someone like him in the first place?" I asked. "I don't understand."

It was a moment or two before Mom answered. "Back then, he was very different. He could be very charming when he wanted to. Richard hadn't risen to become Director of Shinra's Peace Preservation Division yet, though it was always his goal. We met at a company party late one year and hit it off. There were hints of his darker side even then, flashes of temper that he couldn't hide. I had hoped that, by being a part of his life and giving him love, that it might soften those hard edges and help him become a better man. How wrong I was, though…"

"You loved him," I sighed. "I can't blame you for that. I guess there's still a small part of me that loves him, too. He's my father, after all. And I wish that he would change, that he would go back to the way he used to be. But I know that's not going to happen."

Mom slid an arm around me. "I understand, Jessica, and I know it's hard right now. But I promise, things will be better for us."

"How do you know?" I asked.

"Let's just say that I'm working on it and leave it at that."

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

She shook her head. "It's better you don't know. Enough about that, though. I want you to tell me something, Jessica. That job offer Scarlet made you. Are you going to take it?"

I nodded. "I think so…"

I had noticed her changing the subject but had known that arguing about it wasn't going to get me anywhere. She clearly had something in mind, but I didn't have a clue what it was. I trusted her, though, so I let the matter go. I could always pry her for clues later, but I doubted she'd be very forthcoming about it. And in any case, she had a point. If it was dangerous, I was safer not knowing anything about it. But I would have faced that risk if it meant she and I could be free.

"I see," Mom replied. "But I hope you'll reconsider. That woman… she's very cold, Jessica. And completely ruthless. She's not like you and I, and you might not like working for her."

I had heard that before. "Reeve told me the same thing."

"You went to see him?" Mom asked.

"Yeah. I thought he should know, and I wanted some advice. I like him and I'm glad to work under him."

Mom smiled fondly. "He's a good man, and an old friend."

"He said you grew up together?" I wondered.

"Yes, that's right. We did. But we can talk about that later. What did he say about Scarlet's offer?"

I blinked, remembering how Reeve had avoided talking about that same thing when I had asked him about it the day I had first met him. What weren't they telling me? I was curious but knew I wasn't going to get any answers right now. But maybe later, as Mom had said. So I told her about my meeting with Reeve instead.

When I was finished, Mom gazed at me intently. "That promise he had you make, Jessica—be sure you keep it. Scarlet is not to be trusted, not for any reason. Understand?"

"I do, Mom," I assured her. "And I will."

"Good. Are you sure there's no way that Reeve or I can talk you out of this? I don't like it any more than he does."

I shook my head. "No. I've made up my mind."

"Can you tell me why?" she sighed.

"At first, I wasn't going to. But the more I thought it over, the more I realized this could be my one chance to turn my dreams into a reality. And I know Scarlet's cold and harsh, but she seems to like my designs. I think I can work with her to make sure the division sticks to projects meant to protect everyone and keep people safe."

Mom slid an arm around my shoulder. "Jessica… I'm afraid it may not turn out how you think it will. I just don't want to see you hurt and disappointed. I'm worried about you."

"I know you are," I said. "But I've made my decision."

"Alright. Just be careful."

I leaned against her. "I will, Mom. I promise."

Mom wrapped me in a tight hug. "I love you, Jessica. You do know that, right? More than anything."

"Of course, Mom," I hugged her back. "I love you, too."

* * *

Early the next morning, I stepped out of the elevator and onto the 58th floor, where the Weapons Development Divison was located along with Scarlet's office. The place was almost like a laboratory as I walked through the waiting area and into the central room. A few doors led to offices here and there, but it looked like a lot of the research was being conducted right in the main area.

A few men in white lab coats were busy operating some computer panels and taking measurements, while in the middle of the room was a tall cylindrical vat filled with a pale green liquid. As I moved closer, I could see what looked like materia crystallizing inside it. This was how they were made? Was that stuff in the vat… mako? I didn't know much about the process, and I watched for a moment in complete fascination as the little orbs solidified.

"Quit gaping, girl, and get over here!" a familiar voice snapped.

I jumped, my heart racing, as a little gasp escaped my lips. Scarlet's voice had come from near the vat, and I turned to see her lounging in a chair and gazing at the vat and the materia crystallizing inside it just as I had been doing. Composing myself, I started to walk over to her, but I stopped short when I saw her footstool. Or rather, what she was using as a footstool. With my jaw hanging slightly open, I blinked and shook my head to make sure I wasn't seeing things.

"Is that… a soldier?" I stared.

Instead of a piece of furniture, what supported Scarlet's feet as she reclined within her luxurious, red-cushioned chair was a man, a Shinra soldier. He was bent over on his hands and knees with Scarlet's feet and lower legs resting squarely upon his back. As I stood there feeling sorry for the guy, I wondered for just a moment if I wasn't making a mistake by being here. Did I really want to do this?

Scarlet looked up at me, a cold smile twisting her face. "Let this be a lesson to you, Jessica. If you want to get anywhere in this world, don't be afraid to step on those around you. Understand?"

I swallowed. "Yes, Director."

"Now, about my offer. You've made a decision?"

"I have," I replied. "But I need some assurances first. I'm not going to create anything for you that'll be used to hurt people or destroy their homes and lives. I'm here to develop and research weapons for defense, Director. To protect everyone. I don't have a problem creating all kinds of guns, bombs, and other tools for use against monsters and anything else that could endanger the people here. But I won't allow my designs to be used for aggression and destruction."

She gave me that icy smile again. "Oh, of course. Protection is what we're all about in here. You needn't worry."

I gazed at her, doubt still gnawing at me. "Are you sure?"

"Positive," she purred, her voice a soothing whisper. "Now, what's it to be, Jessica? Are you in or are you out?"

I reached up to adjust my glasses—yes, I wore them back then, and with my white blouse and dark slacks, I looked and felt more like your typical nerdy office girl than the anti-Shinra resistance fighter I would one day become—and took a long, slow breath. I'll never forget what I did next. How could I have been so naive? Why did I believe her? They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I think this moment was when I laid down the first stone.

I let my hand fall to my side and nodded. "I'm in."


	4. THREE

**THREE**

There was one other thing that happened in that first year I was at Shinra that had an impact on me, though not in any direct way. But it's something I've never forgotten, a memory that's stayed inside my mind all these years. Maybe what happened was just random chance, but I'm not so sure anymore. I've never been able to figure it out because it was a moment that left me with more questions than answers. And now, in this strange, dark place between life and death, I still haven't. Maybe, if I ever wake up, I'll find out someday.

Anyway, it was early fall, just over eleven months after I had begun working at Shinra. My two jobs kept me busy, but even so, I had heard rumors about troubles within SOLDIER and talk of battles going on all around the world. I didn't know much about it myself, though. I knew a little about SOLDIER, of course—they were Shinra's best fighters and were highly skilled in battle. What I didn't know back then was exactly how they got so good. I had assumed it just came from lots of training and hard work, but I had no idea how ugly the truth really was. I found out much later on, though.

I was downstairs on the third floor one day, spending what was left of my lunch hour lovingly admiring the new Hardy HD-91 motorcycle that had replaced the old HD-90 I had seen on display when I had first started working here. It looked mostly the same as the old one, but the exhaust pipes were slightly bigger and it had a more powerful engine. I think the handlebars may have been higher as well.

In my hands, I held a large binder filled with all kinds of sketches I had made for Scarlet, weapons we were designing together. It certainly wasn't easy working with her, and her criticisms were about as blunt as a nail bat. She had an unforgiving, brutal personality, and I had quickly learned to develop a thick skin around her. But I was also learning a lot by being there. I knew more about how materia formation worked and about the design specs on all of Shinra's current weapons as well as the ones we were currently developing.

I was due back in Scarlet's office for a meeting in ten minutes, and she absolutely _hated_ it if I was late by even a few seconds. I had learned very fast how brutally she enforced punctuality in her division. A week or so after I had begun working there, I saw her walk over and slap one of the lab techs across the face just for starting his shift a minute late. I wasn't going to let that happen to me, and I didn't doubt it would if she ever saw me not coming in on time.

There was a soft flutter of movement, and I looked up from where I had been kneeling to get a better view of the bike's front wheel to see Cait sitting sideways on the leather seat, his legs swinging over the side like they often did when he was at my desk in SO. He never showed up when I was working in Scarlet's division, but I hadn't expected him to. I was sure he still had ways to keep an eye on me while I was working in there, though. I had learned over the past year that Cait excelled at not being seen and could sneak into any place in the building he wanted. It both amused me and comforted me to know he was always around if I ever needed him. And through him, Reeve.

I stood up. "Hi, Cait. What are you doing here?"

"I just came by tae say hello, Jessica," he replied. "Seems ye've been doin' well fer Scarlet so far."

"I figured you were keeping tabs on me," I smirked.

Cait chuckled. "Aye, I am. I just worry about ye, lassie. But ye seem alright enough. So ye like bikes, eh?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I hope to have one myself someday."

"That be a nice dream. I could tell ye yer fortune if ye want tae see if it's in yer future."

"Thanks," I laughed, "but I think—"

I abruptly cut myself off when I heard one of the elevators chiming behind me, and I turned around to see who would be coming out of it, more out of curiosity than anything else. The doors for the far elevator slid open, and my eyes widened to the size of dinner plates when I saw who it was. I couldn't even move, and my mouth just hung open like it had become unhinged.

A man strode calmly out onto the third floor, but not just any man. Tall, so incredibly tall, with piercing green eyes and eerie, slitted pupils. Flowing silver hair so long it fell past his waist. A leather cloak so black it looked like a patch of midnight that had somehow been made real. I shivered, hardly able to believe what I was seeing.

"Is that…?" I whispered to Cait.

He leaned close to my ear. "Aye, lass. That's him. Sephiroth. I heard he's leaving on a mission. But I cannae say where. It's top secret. Even I don't know all the details."

A soldier walked out of the elevator after him, clad as they usually were in blue and with one of those weird helmets on his head that hid most of his face besides his mouth and nose. Sephiroth glanced at him once, then sighed. "Where's the other one?"

"Um, he'll be here in just a minute, sir," the soldier replied. "Zack's already downstairs in the lobby."

"Fine. But we're not waiting long. Go on."

As the soldier hurried off down the stairs, my watch beeped and I looked down to check the time. "Oh, no! I've got to be back upstairs in less than five minutes! Bye, Cait!"

"See ya, lassie," he said. "Take care!"

I hurried toward the nearest elevator, my binder in my hands, and Cait disappeared up into an air vent in the ceiling with hardly a sound. I had almost reached the elevator when the doors suddenly opened on their own and another helmeted soldier bolted out. He must have been the one who was late, and I gasped when I saw him and realized he was running right at me. I was rushing toward him as well because I was so afraid of being late for work and getting slapped by Scarlet that I hadn't bothered to pay attention to what I was doing.

Neither of us could possibly slow down or move aside in time, and my eyes widened again as I understood what was about to happen and saw his own mouth drop open as well. We collided a second later with a muffled thump, and I let out a startled shriek as I fell flat on my back and my binder flew out of my hands and landed near the stairs. Papers scattered to the floor all around us, and the poor soldier landed on his back as well, as flustered and surprised as I was.

For a moment, I just lay there, panting and trying my best to catch my breath. Then, as I struggled to sit up, a shadow fell over me. My jaw fell open when I looked up, and my voice just seemed to run away and hide. A gloved hand pulled me to my feet with inhuman strength as if I were just a feather, and suddenly I was face-to-face with the man in the black cloak himself—Sephiroth.

I had to crane my neck up to look at him, he was so tall. I felt small and insignificant next him, just some stupid whimpering girl who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. When Sephiroth finally let go of me, I winced and rubbed my wrist. It really hurt, though I was sure he hadn't meant for it to. I didn't think he could help it. Swallowing, I took a breath and met his cold gaze.

"U-Um, thank you, s-sir…" I stammered.

Sephiroth didn't answer me but turned to the other soldier instead, who was still on his back. "See to the lady. And clean this up."

"Y-Yes, sir," the soldier replied.

Then Sephiroth was gone, and I could breathe again. As I heard his footsteps echoing down the stairs, I bent over and let out a long, shaky breath as I tried to take in everything that had just happened. I found I was trembling like a newborn chocobo, and my mind was just a jumble of thoughts as scattered as the papers laying everywhere. As I fought to slow my pounding heart, I shook my head helplessly.

"Mom and Reeve are _never_ gonna believe this…" I breathed.

A voice sounded nearby. It was the soldier. "Um, ma'am? Sorry for all this. Let me help you pick these up."

I laughed when I heard him. I had never been called ma'am before, and I didn't think I was any older than the soldier himself. He actually seemed pretty young, now that I thought about it. But I felt better now, more like myself. I knelt next to him and started gathering my sketches along with my binder. As I did, I glanced at the soldier.

"It's alright," I smiled. "It was as much my fault as yours."

He handed me some papers. "Well, um… thanks."

I took them and stuck them back in the binder. But when I looked at the soldier again, I noticed something odd. I put a hand on his arm. "Are you feeling okay? You look a little green."

"I'll be alright. I had to stop in the bathroom on the way here. You see, we've got a long truck ride ahead of us, and I get motion sickness. I think my body was just anticipating it."

"Can I get you anything?" I asked, feeling bad for him. "The shop's right downstairs on the second floor."

He shook his head. "Thanks, but I'm okay."

A few moments later, we both stood up, and he gave me the rest of the papers. I took them and put them back in my binder along with the ones I had collected, then I glanced back at the soldier again. I wished I could see the rest of his face. He seemed so nice and a bit awkward in a cute sort of way. And his voice actually sounded pretty sexy, now that I thought about it. Too bad those helmets hid so much. I wondered what his eyes were like, what color they were. Blue was my favorite, so bright and deep. Like rolling waves in the ocean.

The tromping of booted footsteps coming up the stairs brought me out of my thoughts, and the soldier and I both turned to look at the far staircase, where a man peeked out from around the corner and waved. He looked at us with a pair of bright blue eyes, and he had spiked black hair that fell past his shoulders. But I couldn't see much else aside from the bare, muscled arm he waved at us with, a part of a black tunic, and a large sword hilt sticking up behind him. Huge would have been more like it, actually. I could just make out a bit of the blade as it hung down, and as wide as it was, it had to be pretty big.

"Come on, buddy!" the guy grinned. "We better get goin'!"

The young soldier looked over at him. "I'm coming, Zack. Just had to help the girl, um, pick up her stuff."

Zack laughed. "Ah, don't sweat it. I'd be late too if it meant I'd get to help out a pretty lady like her."

I blushed and adjusted my glasses. "I… well, um, thank you."

"Don't mention it," he winked, then he glanced back at the soldier. "You ready? Everyone else is already in the truck."

"Yeah, let's go," the soldier replied.

As he started to walk away, I took a few steps after him. "Um, good luck on your mission. Be careful out there, okay?"

"Thanks, miss. I will."

"And I, uh… I work on the, um… 30th floor," I told him, a horde of butterflies fluttering in my stomach. "S-Systems Operation. If you ever, um… want to come see me…"

He nodded. "I… I'll remember that."

As they disappeared around the corner and hurried back down the stairs, I went over to the low wall overlooking the second floor to listen as they talked, my heart pounding. I just loved that soldier's voice, and it was with a start that I realized he and Zack were talking about me as they left. I strained my ears to hear them.

"You know," Zack said. "I think that girl really digs you, buddy."

I giggled. He wasn't wrong. Then the soldier replied with that soft, shy but sexy voice of his. "I don't know…"

"Sure she does! She's cute, don't you think?"

My cheeks reddened, and I couldn't resist a giddy little smile when I heard the young soldier's answer. "I… well, yeah. She is."

Zack chuckled. "Of course! So when we get back, you oughta look her up, ask her out to dinner or something."

_Oh, definitely! Please do!_

"Maybe…" the soldier said. "But I…"

I wasn't able to make out the rest because by then, he and Zack had moved too far away for me to hear them anymore. I sighed longingly at the thought of having a dinner date with that nice, bashful soldier with the sexy voice as I sat on the floor, my back to the low wall. I wondered when he would be back and hoped it would be soon. And then I nearly kicked myself when I realized I hadn't told him my name. But he knew how and where to find me, at least.

Maybe next week then, depending on how long his mission took. I had heard the hesitation in his voice and figured Zack would probably have to coax him into asking me out, but that was alright. I didn't mind the soldier's shyness. It was sweet and honest. Even if he stammered his way through the invitation, I would accept it happily. There were some nice restaurants in the area, and I was sure we would both start to relax once we got to know each other a little. And maybe we would close out the evening with a nice kiss or two.

I glanced down at my watch for a moment, my thoughts warm and hopeful and filled with all sorts of romantic possibilities for me and the young soldier, and froze when I saw the time. For a moment I couldn't even move, hardly able to believe what I was seeing. I wasn't just late. I was _very_ late for my meeting. _Incredibly_ late.

"Oh, _shit!"_ I shot to my feet, my heart hammering against my ribs. _"__Twenty minutes!? _I'm dead! I am _so_ dead!"

I ran for the elevator, all thoughts of dates and cute young soldiers forgotten in my near panic. After slapping the button, I waited for what seemed like an eternity for the doors to open. When they finally did, I darted inside and hit the button for the 58th floor. How could I have let this happen? Scarlet was going to kill me!

She was waiting for me as soon as I stepped out of the elevator, and I knew I was in for it. Scarlet had her arms folded in front her, and her pale blue eyes glared at me. She must have heard the chime and gotten up from her seat as the doors were opening. The division was, as usual, a bustle of activity full of lab techs and soldiers, but I wasn't paying any attention to it at the moment.

Scarlet pointed to a nearby glass door. "My office. Now."

I followed her, more than a little nervous, and swallowed heavily as we walked into her office and she closed the door behind us. Then she simply stood there in front of her desk, a thing of polished black wood with a large, red leather seat behind it.

"Well?" she demanded.

I just wilted under that stare. "I… I'm sorry, I…"

"Spit it out, girl," Scarlet hissed. "We had a meeting scheduled. And I _don't_ like to be kept waiting."

Unsteadily, I told her what had happened downstairs. About how I had been knocked down while trying to reach the elevator and how the man who had pulled me up had been no less than Sephiroth himself. I explained how I had watched him walk downstairs and that the young soldier had stayed behind to help clean up the papers. But I didn't dare say a word about my clumsy attempt at flirting with him and how I had eavesdropped on his conversation with Zack.

Scarlet sniffed. "Hmph! Pathetic…"

I sighed. "I… I'm really sorry, Director."

Wincing in anticipation, I braced myself for the inevitable slap. But it never came. I couldn't believe it, but as I slowly started to relax, I saw that Scarlet hadn't moved an inch. She just eyed me coldly, and I wasn't sure what to expect. But as we stood there and time went from seconds to minutes without her saying or doing anything, I let out a breath that I hadn't realized I'd been holding.

Then she did speak. "I think we can let it go, girl. _This_ time. But if it happens again…"

"It won't," I promised. "I'll make sure of that."

She nodded. "See that it doesn't."

I managed a shaky laugh and sighed in relief. "You know, Director, for a moment there, I really thought—"

Scarlet's hand shot out so fast I barely saw it, and the next moment, my cheek was stinging as if it had been set on fire. My head whipped to the side, and I let out a startled gasp of shock and pain as my hand flew up to touch my face where she had slapped me. I stared at Scarlet, hurt and confused and a little angry all at once. Hadn't she just said she was letting it go? What was she doing?

"On the other hand," she walked up to me, grabbed me by the jaw, and yanked me toward her until she was right in my face, "perhaps you _do_ need a reminder of what happens when you step out of line, Jessica. I trust you won't ignore it."

"N-No, Director. I won't!"

She let go, and I staggered back a few steps, rubbing my chin where it ached. "Now then, you were supposed to be making a presentation to me, girl. This new automatic sentry you've been designing lately—what was it you called it again?"

I flipped open my binder. "A hell house, ma'am."

"Not bad," Scarlet shrugged. "Go on."

I laid my binder flat on her desk and turned the pages until I came to the sketch of my new sentry. "We've gotten reports that the monsters in the slums tend to ambush people traveling in between sectors rather than hitting the more populated areas. They also seem to lurk near old ruined shacks and buildings along the way."

"Yes, I've read those reports," Scarlet agreed.

"Well, since monsters like whole eaters tend to gather in places like that a lot, I came up with the hell house as a way of taking advantage of that. When it's not active, the house looks just like any other small shed you might see in the area. People would be able to walk right by it, and they'd never know it was a weapon."

Scarlet nodded. "Camouflage. I think I see where you're going."

I smiled, growing excited in spite of the harsh punishment she had given me for being late. "Exactly! The hell house would be harmless to humans, but when it detects monsters within its sensor radius, it would spring out and attack! It'll carry a supply of missiles on board as well as flame jets, and it would be able to punch the monsters and crush them with a leaping strike as well."

Like I mentioned before, I enjoyed creating all kinds of strange and outlandish weapon designs, and the hell house was one of my favorites. I had spent a lot of time on it, tweaking it and drawing several different concept sketches for it in both of its forms with carefully written notes about its specs and what it could do. I had developed it to help people, to destroy the monsters that were hurting them.

I just never thought it would become a monster itself.

Something I should have remembered is that anything that can be programmed can also be reprogrammed. And the hell house was. But I never found out until much later. Like a lot of my designs, Scarlet took it and twisted it into a horrible tool of death and destruction. Why did I ever trust her? I should have listened to Mom and Reeve. I'd even said that I would. But I didn't. I was so eager to bring my creations to life, to live out my dreams, that I completely ignored the small voice inside me telling me to be wary and watchful. Until it was too late. So much pain and death to so many people over these last few years, all because I had put my desires ahead of my better judgment.

"It's an intriguing concept," Scarlet mused, tapping the page. "Have a complete schematic ready on my desk first thing tomorrow morning. Then we'll see about building and deploying a few prototypes over the next few weeks. Understood?"

I grinned. "Yes, ma'am! Thank you!"

"Now go get back to work, Jessica. We're finished here."

Closing my binder, I hurried out of Scarlet's office and went to my drafting table in a corner of the main room. Although it sometimes got a little noisy when there was a lot of testing going on, I was usually still able to concentrate on what I was doing, and while there wasn't a door in my little alcove, the walls did give me some privacy. I sat down, took out some blank paper and a pen, opened my binder to the drawings of the hell house, and got started on those schematics.

* * *

A week later, I sat at my desk in SO, excited and a little nervous as I worked. I had figured that my shy, sexy soldier had come back from his mission by now, and I kept hoping and expecting to see him walk into my cubicle, take off his helmet, show me his eyes, and ask me out. And I was going to tell him yes and that I'd love to.

But he never did.

At first, I kept my hopes up, thinking that the mission he had gone on had just taken longer than I had thought. But after one week turned into two and then three, I guessed he must have either forgotten about me or decided not to ask me to dinner after all. Maybe his bashfulness had gotten the better of him.

I would have gone to look for him myself, but I had no idea where he was stationed at or how to find him. There were lots of soldiers just like him throughout the building, and whenever I happened to be near any of them, I stopped and listened to their voices, hoping to hear that lovely murmur again and see him. But I never found him. Not once. So I went back to work disappointed and a little sad.

It was almost a month after my encounter with that bashful young soldier that Reeve gave me the news. I was busy working at my desk in SO on a new project Marissa had assigned to me and had finally begun to let go of my little crush and move on when Reeve walked in. I knew right away something was wrong.

He would come down here once in a while to chat with everybody and see how we were doing, but when I looked at him, I could tell right away that this wasn't one of those times. He had come here specifically to see me. Reeve just stood there for a moment, his hands stuffed in his pockets. Then he sat on the edge of my desk like Cait so often did, and I turned in my chair to face him.

"What is it, Reeve?" I asked. "What's wrong?"

He sighed. "I have some news about that mission you were asking me about, the one that Sephiroth and another 1st Class SOLDIER went on last month along with a few guards. And… I'm afraid it isn't good. I wanted to tell you myself rather than have Cait do it."

I stared at him, my stomach in knots. "What happened? Where did they go? Are they alright?"

"They went to a small town far away to the west, someplace called Nibelheim. What the mission was, I don't know. Something to do with a faulty mako reactor. But that's all I can tell you. At first, all went well. But after a week, we lost contact with Sephiroth and his group. We still don't know what happened or why. And now…"

"What, Reeve?" I prodded him. "Please, tell me!"

His eyes met mine. "They've been listed as killed in action, Jessica. All of them. The entire team."

My hands flew to my mouth. "No! It can't be!"

"I'm sorry, but it is. Cait mentioned that you'd taken a liking to one of the soldiers who went on that mission."

"Yeah," I said. "We kind of ran into each other before he left."

Reeve put his hand on my shoulder. "I wish I had better news. But I thought you'd want to know."

I nodded. "Thank you for telling me, Reeve."

"You're welcome. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"I just… I think I'd like to be alone now," I murmured. "If you don't mind. Is that alright?"

He gave me a gentle smile. "Of course."

As he got up to leave, I pulled off my glasses and just sat there with them in my lap. "I never even knew his name…"

"I could try to find out what it was for you, if you'd like."

"No, but thank you, anyway," I shook my head. "It's not as if I knew him very well. We only talked that one time. I just hoped that when he came back, he'd come to see me, and well… things would have gone on from there. Nice things, you know?"

Reeve laughed softly. "I know. I'm sure they would have."

"I think so, too," I agreed. "He was really nice…"

"Well, I'll be going now, Jessica. But if you need anything, anything at all, you know where to find me."

As he started to walk away, a disturbing thought suddenly came to me, and I called out after him. "Reeve… you said Sephiroth was killed, too. But how could anything do that do him? He's really strong, or he's supposed to be, anyway. I don't understand."

"Neither do I," Reeve frowned.

"What do you think happened out there?" I wondered.

He frowned. "More than I've been told, no doubt."

"My father, the president, and the other directors, they keep things from you?" I asked, not entirely surprised.

"Yes. But it's nothing for you to worry about."

Reeve left after that, and I was alone. I just sat there for a while and thought about everything he had told me. The mystery about what had happened to Sephiroth and his team on that mission bothered me, but there wasn't much I could do about it. I still don't know the truth, and I guess it's possible I never will. Some questions never get answered. And I had other things on my mind as well.

My heart ached knowing my sweet, shy soldier was dead. Though I took comfort in the fact that he hadn't rejected me after all, I still cried a little. For him, for the missed opportunity between us, even for Zack. He hadn't seemed like such a bad guy, at least from the little bit I'd seen of him, and if he'd had a girlfriend, that might have made a fun double date with me and my young soldier.

But things hadn't worked out that way. I never forgot that meeting, though. Not even years later. That soldier with the sexy voice still had a little place in my heart, and I never forgot him. And that big sword that Zack had, it reminds me a lot of Cloud's. Is it the same? I don't know. I only saw part of Zack's, so I can't be sure, but they seem a lot alike. If it _is_ the same sword, how did Cloud get it?

He didn't go with Zack on that mission, at least not that I know of. I had considered asking Cloud about it but had ultimately decided not to because I didn't know for sure if I was remembering right. And even if I was, I couldn't be certain it was the same sword. So I had kept quiet about it. Yet another mystery for me to unravel. Maybe, in time. But as for that day, I sighed, wiped my eyes, put my glasses back on, and went back to work. I didn't stop thinking about my sweet, shy soldier for the rest of the day, though. Not once.


	5. FOUR

**FOUR**

I was eighteen when I got my first promotion as Assistant Director of Systems Operation. It had been almost two years since I had started working at Shinra. The promotion caught me by surprise, to be honest, since I hadn't been expecting anything for a while yet. But I was happy about it just the same when Marissa came to my cubicle to give me the news and show me my new office next to hers.

"So what do you think?" she asked.

I grinned. "It's great! Just a little overwhelming…"

"How so?" she asked.

"Well, I thought someone else would get the job. Someone older, I guess. It'll feel a little weird giving out work assignments to people who have five or ten years on me, or even more."

Marissa laughed, her fiery red curls bouncing around her face. "It's alright, Jessica. You'll get used to it."

"I suppose so. Thank you, by the way."

"You're welcome," she answered. "You know, Director Tuesti wasn't much older than you when he was promoted to be the assistant for the previous head of Urban Development. And it was only a few years later that he took over the division himself after overseeing the construction of the city's mako reactors."

I nodded. "Your husband works in one of the reactors, right?"

"Yes, Reactor 3. He's the supervisor there. Overseeing the workers, making sure everything runs smoothly, that sort of thing."

"I thought as much," I said. "You've talked about him before."

That was true enough. We always chatted from time to time when we had a moment to spare and had become friends over the last couple years. And although she always tried to put on a cheerful, professional front, I had come to sense lately that something was bothering her. She wouldn't say anything about it and I wasn't going to pry, but I had seen a sense of resignation and anxiety in her eyes. I remembered how I had seen others in the building with that same feeling of quiet despair, with that slight slump in their shoulders. It wasn't everyone, but more than a few at least. I wondered if it that would ever be me.

Marissa and I talked for a little longer, then she left me alone to get settled in and back to work. After I had brought my stuff over from my old cubicle and gotten everything organized, I sat down and looked out the window for a moment. There was a nice view of the city, but seeing those reactors rising up at intervals like spokes on a wheel bothered me for some reason. And the high outer wall that surrounded Midgar kept any view of the lands beyond well out of sight. It was like living inside a giant, hi-tech cage, and all I wanted was to get out.

* * *

"Jessica!" Scarlet snapped, stalking over to the drafting table. "The specs for those roboguards. Where are they?"

It was about a week after my promotion, and the Weapons Design Division was bustling with activity around us. Lots of testing going on as well as materia formation and analysis. Shinra sold the orbs in shops all around the world, and much of it was made right here. I'd been busy scanning many of the schematics I'd drawn up for my weapons into the division's main computer when Scarlet called for me.

I jumped in spite of myself at the sound of her voice. "Just a minute and I'll pull them up, Director."

They came up on the monitor screen near the table after I tapped a few keys. Scarlet and I had developed these machines to use as security forces for the mako reactors. Well, they'd been hers originally, but I had since improved on them. Sweepers and monodrives for the main areas, and laser cannons mounted up high. Also, new particle beam weapons for the grunts. I'd wondered why we needed so much force, but Scarlet had told me it was for the workers' protection.

"Alright," Scarlet frowned. "Send a copy over to Peace Preservation. That idiot father of yours requested them this morning."

"What for?" I asked.

She narrowed her eyes. "There are… a few problems with the new models we've deployed. They need to be adjusted."

"What kind of problems?"

"It's none of your concern," Scarlet hissed. "Just do what I told you, Jessica! Is that clear?"

I swallowed. "Y-Yes, ma'am."

After I had emailed the files, Scarlet continued. "Now listen up. I'll be leaving for Corel first thing tomorrow. We've had some trouble with the reactor out there, so I'm taking a detachment of troops to look into it. You'll be in charge while I'm away."

"Me?" My eyes widened.

"Yes, you! Are you deaf? Or just stupid?"

I shook it off. "Neither. What do you want me to do?"

"Just make certain everyone does their jobs. We've got deadlines to meet, and if you have to break a few noses to speed things up, don't be afraid to do it. Pain is an excellent motivator."

I knew that all too well. Ever since she had slapped me for showing up late to that meeting, I had made sure not to let that happen again. It was a lesson I had never once forgotten. But even so, I didn't think that I could bring myself to inflict that kind of pain on someone else. It just wasn't me. But I agreed to anyway. I knew I'd get more than an earful if I didn't. Scarlet did _not_ like having her orders questioned.

"Yes, Director," I said. "Anything else?"

She nodded. "As a matter of fact, yes. While I'm in Corel, I'm going to do a bit of… weapons testing. Those new enhancements you've been developing for the assault rifles and explosives our troops use. It seems that Mt. Corel is home to a great many vicious monsters. They'll make fine targets, don't you think?"

I laughed. "I'm sure they will. But you should let the soldiers know to watch their aim when firing those rifles. They use very high-caliber shells that could take someone's arm off if they're not careful. I'd rather we didn't have any accidents."

"I'll keep that in mind," Scarlet replied. "In the meantime, I'll need you to sign the authorization forms so we can arm the soldiers with the enhanced weapons before we leave."

"You want _me_ to do it?" I stared. "Isn't that your job?"

Scarlet slammed her hand down on the drafting table. "What did I just say? You've asked to have more authority and responsibility in this division, haven't you?"

"Yes, Director," I answered. "I did."

"Now you have it. So get those papers signed and submitted by the end of the day."

Then she was gone, striding across the room and settling back into her plush chair with its red satin cushions. She glared and pointed at a nearby soldier, and he scurried to his hands and knees and became her footstool for the day. I winced as she dug her stiletto heels into his back with a cruel smirk on her face. It was a favorite pasttime of hers, one I'd seen her carry out far too often.

"Poor guy," I murmured under my breath.

I was just getting up to see to those forms when Scarlet turned her head lazily to look at me. "Come here, Jessica."

"I was just about to—"

"Now!" she snapped. "That can wait for a few minutes."

I hurried over to where she was sitting, my heart pounding. When I got there, Scarlet stood up and gave the kneeling soldier a sharp kick to his ribs. He let out a muffled groan but didn't move as she motioned for me to sit down in her place. Was she serious? I stared at her, hardly able to believe she was having me do this. "What…?"

"Do it, Jessica! If you want to have more authority in this division, more power, then show me you're willing to do what it takes to get it. I can break you as easily as I've made you if you don't."

I really didn't want to, but I couldn't see any way out of it. So with a long sigh, I settled myself into Scarlet's chair. When I tried to place my feet on the floor instead of on the soldier's back, pain suddenly erupted across my face as Scarlet slapped me again. "No! On him."

"Alright…" I swallowed.

My cheek still stinging, I put my feet on the soldier's back, hating it all the while. Scarlet nodded her approval, an icy sneer on her face. She was surely enjoying all this, both the soldier's humiliation and my own discomfort. I hoped this would be over soon, but I had learned by now just how much Scarlet liked to prolong things like this.

She moved behind the chair and stood over me. "Excellent. It feels good, doesn't it? Makes you feel powerful, in control."

As much as I wanted to, I couldn't deny that a part of me felt as she had said. I rested my hands on the armrests, trying not to enjoy myself, telling myself not to. But the chair itself was soft and very comfortable, and I could see nearly the entire main room from here and everyone in it along with the materia crystallization vat about ten feet or so in front of me. As I sat and watched the little orbs floating in the mako, I all but forgot what—or rather, who—was under my feet.

"Yeah," I admitted. "It… it does."

"Of course it does. Always remember, Jessica. _This_ is exactly where men belong. Beneath you."

I swallowed. "Yes, Director."

"Now while I'm gone," Scarlet ordered. "I expect you to coordinate things from here. I've already briefed everyone else. They know exactly what to do. And don't get squeamish on me, Jessica. I'll find out. So get used to this chair. Just think of it as your throne."

"I understand," I replied. Though inwardly, I shuddered.

She went on. "I'll be back in a few days. And if you do well enough in the center seat, you may have opportunities to be here again later. It grows on you, Jessica. Trust me on that. And soon, you won't be able to get enough of it. But don't forget. This is _my_ chair."

The thought of becoming accustomed to being in this seat, lording it over everyone here like a queen, curdled my blood. This wasn't what I'd had in mind when I had talked to her about being more involved in the division and its work. And yet there was an almost seductive allure to it, one that was harder for me to ignore than I wanted to admit, and I hated myself for feeling that way.

"I know, Director," I agreed. Without a doubt. "It's yours."

Scarlet moved to the side of the chair again. "Yes, it is. Now get up! I have work to do, and so do you."

She sat down again and dug her heels into the soldier's back almost as soon as I had stood up. Would that really be me someday? Was that what Scarlet was trying to do? I was disgusted at the very thought of it. How could I have liked being in that thing even a little? But if I wanted to work in this division, I knew I would have to start spending time in that damn chair. Scarlet would see to that.

I knelt by the soldier, my voice a whisper. "I'm sorry…"

He looked up, a small smile on his helmeted face, and nodded. But before he could say anything, he winced in pain as Scarlet slammed her feet into his back again, harder than before. I took his shoulder without even thinking about it and glared at her.

"Was that really necessary?" I snapped.

She sneered. "Don't talk to the furniture, Jessica. You have to show it who's in charge."

Fuming, I got up and stormed off across the room to get started on the paperwork for the weapons deployments, not trusting myself to say anything at the moment. I was beginning to wonder if I hadn't made a mistake agreeing to work for Scarlet. But at least if I was here, the work we did would be used to help people. Or so I thought. And I was afraid of what someone else would do in my place, a person more like Scarlet. So I pushed down my doubts, not realizing then how much they would come back to haunt me later.

* * *

Three days later, a piece of my world fell out from under me. I was in my office putting together a new project for the division to work on when Marissa came in, strangely quiet as she walked through the open doorway. I looked up, forgetting instantly about work when I saw how pale and worried her face was.

"Jessica," she murmured. "You'd better come see what's on the news right now. It… it isn't good."

I got up and followed her to the executive break room a few doors down the hall. It was a smaller, quieter place for Marissa and I to enjoy our lunches than the cafeteria on the 61st floor. One of the perks of my promotion, you might say. Inside was a small table, a kitchenette, and a large screen TV mounted in the middle of one wall. My eyes went to it at once, ignoring the view from the windows looking out over the city. When I saw what was happening on the screen, I froze.

Corel was ablaze.

It was a Shinra Information Network special report, and I listened as the man on screen laid it all down. Behind him was a virtual armada of fire trucks and ambulances, their sirens flashing as what looked like an army of firefighters and medics fought to put out the blaze and save everyone they could. But it was too late.

I shivered at the reporter's chilling story. "Less than an hour ago, a group of terrorists destroyed Shinra's new mako reactor located on Mt. Corel. It was still under construction and was quickly sabotaged. Then they moved against Corel itself. Shinra's forces attempted to stop them, but they were unsuccessful, and the town has sadly been destroyed. So many lives have been lost today. Troops dispatched earlier in the week from Midgar have eradicated the terrorists, but the damage has already been done. Corel will never be the same."

Marissa sighed as I sank into one of the chairs. "An entire town. It's hard to imagine. You mentioned Scarlet had gone off to Corel for a few days and left you in charge over in Weapons Design, so I thought you'd want to know. I still can't believe it…"

"Me either," I breathed. "Corel, gone. Just like that…"

As I thought about what the reporter had said, I found I had more questions than answers. The detachment Scarlet had taken with her to Corel had been big, an entire platoon of Shinra soldiers, all armed with powerful weapons and explosives. They should have been able to wipe the floor with those terrorists who blew up the reactor before they ever got close to Corel. But they hadn't.

Marissa sat down in the other chair. "How could terrorists destroy a whole city? It doesn't seem possible."

It shouldn't have been, as far as I knew. There weren't many groups capable of even getting guns and bombs powerful enough to do a thing like this, let alone actually using them. And why would they have gone after Corel in the first place? What could they have gained from doing that? It didn't make any sense. And the more I thought about it, the less I found myself believing the reporter's story.

If the terrorists had been able to wipe out an entire town with their arsenal, then even a large group of Shinra soldiers shouldn't have been a problem for them to handle. And yet, they had still been killed. Or at least, supposedly. With the new weapons the soldiers had, taking them down shouldn't have been a problem. Mako-powered rapid-fire assault rifles, incendiary grenades, and smart mines. It was more than enough firepower for the job. Way more. And as I thought about that, a terrible light suddenly exploded in my mind.

"No…!" I breathed, my eyes widening.

Those same weapons could have easily destroyed Corel. Without a doubt. I knew their specs and capabilities inside and out since I'd been so heavily involved in enhancing them. And I… I was the one who had authorized their deployment so the soldiers could use them. But it just couldn't be! It was only supposed to be for testing against the monsters on Mt. Corel! Not for razing a village to the ground!

I started trembling, shaking my head as my eyes filled with tears. It had to be a mistake. It had to be! Were all those people dead… because of me? Because of my weapons? My designs? I gasped and bolted to my feet, knocking over the chair as I staggered backwards until I bumped into the counter, streaks of wetness sliding down my cheeks. My heart was pounding, my mouth hung open, and I could barely breathe. This couldn't be happening. It just couldn't!

Marissa got up, confused but worried nonetheless, and reached out to comfort me, but I couldn't accept it. I ran, needing to get away, to be alone for a while. Nearly blinded by tears, I raced down the hall until I got to the elevators. Marissa or someone else might have found me if I had returned to my office, and I didn't want that right now. So I hit the button to call the elevator. When the doors slid open, I darted inside as fast as I could, hoping no one had seen me.

The doors closed, and after a moment's thought, I decided to go up to the 63rd floor. Materials Storage. Another bonus I'd gotten from my promotion was limited access to the executive floors, the highest in the building. Although they covered levels 62-70, my keycard only allowed me to go as high as the 64th floor.

It was quiet when I stepped out of the elevator a few moments later and entered the 63rd floor. Materials Storage was always like that, and it was almost always empty. No one was around as I crossed the hall and slipped into the small control room. I had been here before, but only a few times. Mainly to retrieve or return weapon prototypes and materia samples for Scarlet. I liked the silence here, the solitude, and right now it was what I needed more than anything else.

The computer recognized my Shinra access code easily enough, so once I was in the system, I booted up the storage access program. After it had loaded, I slid my keycard into the narrow slot below the monitor. Three doors, at least at my security level. That's how many the program would let me open. It was a way to restrict access to the assorted items and equipment Shinra kept stored here. I knew the system well, since I had helped maintain it as part of my job in Systems Operation. Usually I didn't have to actually be here for that, though. I could connect to the Materials Storage Access Program from my own machine down on the 30th floor and work with it from there.

Leaving the control room, I turned and followed the main hall as it curved around the perimeter of the 63rd floor. I went by the open door to the elevator room on my left as I went on, and eventually the hall hit a dead end around the corner at one of the storage bay access doors. A panel next to it was lit, and I tapped it, wiping my eyes as the door slid open. Then I hurried through into another, shorter hallway with a few more access doors along the left side.

I went through the one on the far end, which led into a set of small connecting corridors and storage rooms. Not really caring which way I went from here, I ducked inside the nearest room, sank down onto the cold tile floor with my back against a stack of large wooden crates, put my face in my hands, and wept.

I don't know how long I sat there, sobbing brokenly, my glasses on the floor beside me. All I could think of was Corel and the people who had died. All I could feel was guilt, pain in my heart like nothing I had ever known. My weapons had killed them. _I_ had killed them. Although I had no way to know for sure if it was true, I couldn't help how I felt. I couldn't help feeling responsible for all that death.

After I had worn myself out, I sat there in silence for a bit, my face wet and my eyes all red and puffy. I picked up my glasses, then reached into my pocket and took out the transmitter. Whatever the truth was, I had to find out. And I was sure Reeve would know, if anyone would. It scared me, the thought that I had caused all that death and destruction in Corel. I could almost see the blood on my hands.

I activated the transmitter. "Cait…?"

"Lassie?" he replied. "Are ye alright? Where are ye? Marissa said ye just ran off in a hurry."

"I… don't know, Cait. I just don't know."

He sighed. "It's aboot Corel, isn't it? I saw the news report, tae. But ye can't be thinkin' it was yer doing, Jessica."

"I'm sure it is," I sniffed. "Just… tell Reeve to come see me."

"Aye, I will. Where are ye?"

I closed my eyes. "On the 63rd floor. Storage room A2. Tell Marissa I'm sorry, would you? I just needed to get away."

"Sure thing, lass. Just sit tight. We'll be there in a jiffy."

I broke the connection and did as he asked, knowing it wouldn't be long before he and Reeve got here. As I sat there and waited for them, a speck of white in the corner of the room caught my eye. Curious, I got up and went over to get a better look. It was a small strip of thick paper someone must have dropped and apparently forgotten, an item coupon used to check out certain things from storage.

I smiled a little in spite of my sorrow as I picked it up. People were always leaving things lying around up here like this. I didn't know what I could get with it yet since the items that were available changed often whenever the MSAP system was updated. But I figured it couldn't hurt to find out after I had finished talking with Reeve.

He walked through the door a few minutes after I had returned to my spot on the floor by the crates. Cait was with him, his tail swishing above his head as moved. When he got close, he held out his hand. In it was a bright green handkerchief. I managed a weak little smile even as a few tears still slid down my face.

"Thanks, Cait," I sniffled, taking the handkerchief.

He grinned and plopped down on my right. "Yer welcome, Jessica. Reeve ahn I thought ye might need it."

"How can I help?" Reeve added, sitting down on my left.

"You know," I chuckled, "it's not every boss that gets down onto the floor with one of his employees."

Reeve laughed. "I suppose that's true. But you're not just any other employee either, Jessica. And right now, I'm not the Director of Urban Development or even your boss. I'm your friend."

I dabbed at my eyes. "I appreciate it, Reeve. But…"

"But what?" he asked.

"Why am I so different?" I wondered. "Does it have to do with my mom? I… I heard what she asked you that day. My first day on the job. And… the promise you made to her."

A gentle smile crossed Reeve's face. "I guess shouldn't be surprised. You really are just as curious as she's told me. But yes. It has everything to do with her. More than you know."

It was about what I had expected, but I was glad he had confirmed it. There was so much I still didn't understand, and I wondered if I ever would. He had made Mom that promise, but why did it mean so much to him? They were old friends and had known each other a long time. I supposed that could be it, but I couldn't help feeling that there was still more to it than that.

But as I sat there, my mind went back to Corel and to the pain and sadness that threatened to tear me apart inside, and I was barely able to keep from breaking down again. I clutched the handkerchief tightly in my hand as I looked at Reeve, both needing answers and deathly afraid to find out what they were, that I really had caused the nightmare I had seen on the break room's TV.

"Reeve, what really happened in Corel? I have to know."

He sighed. "I wish I could tell you. Your father would know, but he isn't talking. Neither is the president. And I'm sure you're aware Scarlet is due back tomorrow afternoon. You might try asking her."

"I intend to," I growled, anger rising in me now.

"Jessica," Reeve put a hand on my shoulder. "No matter what really happened out there, you're not to blame."

I shook my head. "That's not true, Reeve. I am."

"Why would you think that?"

My glasses rested in my other hand, but I didn't slide them back on just yet. "I signed the orders to arm the troops that went to Corel. And I was the one who enhanced their weapons in the first place and made them as powerful as they are. Powerful enough to leave an entire town in ruins. I might as well have pulled the trigger myself."

"No!" Reeve's refusal was firm and final, the harshest I'd ever heard him speak. "You can't accept responsibility for what happened in Corel, Jessica. You're much too young for such a burden."

Cait jumped up. "Aye, lass! Yer being too hard on yerself."

"Am I?" I argued. "I'm not so sure."

"We don't know that it was Shinra who destroyed the town," Reeve said. "So it's far too soon to draw any conclusions. Or to take the blame for something you had no hand in causing."

I slid my glasses back on. "But if it _was_ Shinra, then I helped make it possible. It would be as much my fault as theirs. I just… I can't seem to get it out of my mind. The sight of all that fire, the smoke, the ruins. All that death. And my weapons could have caused it."

Reeve scratched his chin in thought. "They could have, that's true. But that doesn't mean they did. Those authorization forms you signed, Jessica—did they specify where and how the weapons were to be used? And what the intended targets were?"

"Of course," I answered. "They have to. We can't release any of our weapons without knowing exactly how they'll be used. Especially if it's for military operations. The commercial-grade gear is a little different, but we still have to know where we're shipping it out to and how much. And of course, we get a cut of all the sales. That's part of the deal we've got with the arms merchants."

"And what did you put on those forms?" Reeve asked.

I knew, of course. "Weapons testing on Mt. Corel. The targets were to be a number of monsters that live in the region. Cockatrices, needle kisses, and search crowns. That sort of thing."

"So if Shinra troops did destroy Corel," Reeve went on, "they were acting against orders and without your authorization."

Cait patted my hand. "He's right, lass. Do ye understand?"

"I… I hadn't thought of that. But they still wouldn't have had those weapons to begin with if it wasn't for me."

Reeve stood up and gazed thoughtfully at me. "I don't know about that. But that aside, why don't you go ahead and take the rest of the day off? Your mother's already waiting for you downstairs."

"I can still work," I protested. "I'll be alright."

"No, Jessica. We can manage without you today. Go on home."

I gave Cait the handkerchief back, hugged him, then got to my feet and managed a little smirk. "Guess I can't win this one, huh?"

"Not a chance," he chuckled.

"Cheer up, lass!" Cait added. "It'll all work out. Ye'll sae."

"Alright. I'll let Mom know I'm on my way, then. And… thank you, Reeve. For being here for me."

He nodded. "Always, Jessica. Take care."

Then he and Cait left, the sound of their footsteps echoing through the corridors. When they were gone and I was alone, I stood there for a moment, clutching one of the stacked crates as my emotions rose up in me again amidst the sudden silence. I took a long slow breath and tried to calm myself. I didn't want to break down again, but I couldn't ignore the pain I felt. I couldn't get away from it no matter how hard I tried to believe Reeve's reassurances. I wanted to accept what he had said, but I couldn't. And the same three words kept echoing in my mind over and over again like some demented chorus.

_I killed them._

I finally shook off that thought with an angry huff, pushing myself away from the stack of crates and hurrying through the doorway as if I could somehow outrun the heartache I felt. I let that anger fuel me as I went back down the hall the way I had come. I couldn't just do my job here anymore. I had to start being more aware of what was going on all around me. Maybe Reeve was right and I was jumping the gun on how guilty I felt about Corel, but I couldn't help it.

When I returned to the control room, I went to the MSAP console and slid the coupon into the slot. A prompt came up on the screen, and I saw that the item currently available for exchange was a star pendant. I scanned the description intently, curious despite my glum mood. The star pendant was a product of Shinra manufacturing and could protect the wearer against virtually any poison.

I wasn't sure what use I would get out of it, but it did sound handy. So after hitting the accept key, I heard a thump from the dispenser unit next to the console, and the pendant lay in the receiving bin. I picked it up, marveling at its design and how light it was. It was made of mythril and had been finely crafted into the shape of a five-pointed star. Pretty obvious how it got its name. A length of thin silver chain was attached to the topmost point of the star, and the entire pendant glittered in the soft light of the computer screen.

After a moment's thought, I decided I didn't actually want to take it with me. But at the same time, I didn't want to just get rid of it, either. I wasn't sure if I'd ever need the star pendant, but I wanted to keep it in a safe place where I could find it if I had to. I didn't trust Shinra as much as I used to and didn't like the idea of having it in my office in SO or in my drafting area in Weapons Development. And I didn't want to take it home where my father could possibly find it.

I looked around for a minute or two, then noticed the air duct just to the left of the computer console. It was large enough for someone to crawl inside, and so I did. It was cramped and a little dark, but it didn't bother me much. I'm a pretty small girl, after all. I was able to stand up in there since this section of the air duct went straight up to the ceiling, and by stretching onto my tiptoes, I could just barely reach the edge of the flat part of the duct where it ran off like a tunnel.

Lifting a hand above my head, I carefully slid the star pendant onto the flat section of the duct and made sure that the chain wasn't hanging down over the edge. It was a good enough hiding spot for now. I would come back for the pendant later when I felt more comfortable keeping it on me, although I didn't know when that would be.

When I was finished, I stepped out of the duct and messaged Mom to let her know I was coming. There wasn't really much else I could do here, and I couldn't go back to work today. So I crossed the hall and hit the button for the first floor, my thoughts and emotions still a jumbled mess but my resolve clear. I wasn't going to be oblivious anymore. I was going to keep my eyes open and be more wary of Shinra. I had to know what they were capable of, and I intended to find out.

Even if I had to bend a few rules to do it.


	6. FIVE

**FIVE**

A month or so after the destruction of Corel, I was driving quietly through Sector 3 in my new car when my life and what I knew received another blow. I had gotten the car—a newer model Shinra sedan—as a birthday gift earlier that year from my mom, and sometimes I liked to just take it out and drive, not really knowing where I was going or why, only that I wanted to see more of the city and just explore. It was a goal of mine to visit every one of Midgar's eight sectors sooner or later, but I hadn't gotten there just yet. Still a few left to go.

Sector 3 was more of an industrial place with a lot of factories and warehouses and not much in the way of traffic. So I was startled to see a virtual army of sirens flashing in the direction of the reactor. I wasn't far from it, just down the road, in fact. If I'd been driving anywhere else in the sector, I might not have seen the lights at all. But I did, flashes of red and blue bright against the gloom.

I turned onto the street that Reactor 3 was located at, going slowly as I did, but as I got closer to the place, I saw there was a crowd outside it along with all the emergency vehicles. I couldn't go much further, so I found a place to park and went the rest of the way on foot. What was going on? What could have happened here?

The reactor entrance was blocked off with crime scene tape, and a news crew was busy reporting on whatever it was that had caused all of this commotion. Unease filled my gut, a nagging sense that I should've had some idea of what was going on. But I didn't know much about the reactors aside from what Marissa had told me and the enhancements I had made to the roboguards that patrolled the interior of the place and prevented intruders from damaging it.

I froze at that last thought, my blood running cold. It couldn't be. I raced toward the reporter, trying to hear what she had to say, but it was over by the time I got to her. But I did manage to catch up to her before she and her crew got back into their van. I had to know what had gone on here, if my work had been responsible for another atrocity. I just… I couldn't believe it. I didn't _want_ to believe it.

"Excuse me," I took her arm. "Can I ask you something?"

The reporter shook her head. "I'm sorry, but we've got to get going. We… we've already made our broadcast."

I showed her my Shinra ID. "Look, I'm Jessica Heidegger, Assistant Director of Shinra's Systems Operation Division. I need some answers, and I need them now. So talk. I also work directly for Scarlet, Director of the Weapons Design Division. And I don't think she'd much like it if she heard you were giving her protégé a hard time."

The woman gaped at me, her eyes wide, and I had to admit, it was pretty satisfying seeing her stunned reaction to finding out exactly who she was dealing with. I'd never had to pull rank before, but it did have a certain appeal. And I knew it would get me the information I needed. I stared icily at the reporter the way Scarlet would sometimes stare down a lab tech who had dared to question her orders.

"S-Sorry, ma'am," the reporter stammered. "I didn't know."

I didn't move. "Now you do. Talk."

She swallowed, glanced around, and motioned for me to follow her behind the van. "It'll be safer over here, I think."

"Fine. Now what happened here?"

"About half an hour ago at 9:00am, most of the workers in Reactor 3 carried out a nonviolent protest along with the supervisor. They were trying to bring attention to the terrible conditions there."

I frowned. "What kind of conditions?"

"Working in the reactors carries many health risks including mako poisoning, electrical shocks, and more. The fumes that are often found in the lower levels are also highly toxic."

"Does Shinra know this?" I asked.

"Of course they do, but they've never done much to fix it. They just say all the new systems and safeguards are too expensive to implement. The reactors weren't always like this, though. Back when they were still newly-built, they were much cleaner and safer."

I nodded. "Working in that kind of environment must cause some long-term side effects for people who've been there a while."

"It does, but I've heard that the compensation package is a joke. It's barely enough to cover basic medical care, to say nothing of conditions related to years of exposure to that environment. I'm sure that many of the workers were suffering because of it."

"That doesn't sound like the Shinra I know," I argued.

The reporter's voice lowered almost to a whisper. "Then you don't know them half as well as you think you do, ma'am."

I couldn't deny it, not anymore. "So what went wrong?"

"The protesting staff were all gathered in the central control room on the reactor's main floor—it has equipment there capable of sending transmissions both across the city and to Shinra Headquarters as well. They were just standing there, holding signs and chanting, not doing a thing to damage the reactor or cause any kind of ruckus, when… when the door to the elevator room opened, and…"

"And what!?" I demanded.

She swallowed heavily, her voice a mixture of rage and sadness. "A squad of roboguards charged in and… gunned them all down. Some of them tried to escape through the other door, but… it was locked. Even though it hadn't been earlier. Those mechs… killed them all. And then they self-destructed. As if they'd just gone haywire."

Now I was the one gaping. This was… I didn't even have the words to describe it. I still don't. I just staggered back, numb with shock at her words. I didn't want to believe it, but I knew it was true. And then, as I stood there trying to take it all in, a terrible realization suddenly blazed across my mind in a single, heart-wrenching word.

_Marissa!_

I shoved my way through the crowd and raced back down the road to my car, jumped inside, and drove away, my tires squealing in protest as I pulled out and my heart pounding in my chest. This was one of my days off, but I knew she was there. If she hadn't seen the report, that is. Otherwise I knew she'd have come here, work or no work. But I hadn't seen her in the crowd at the reactor.

Which meant that she didn't know yet.

I drove through the maze of streets as fast as I dared, speeding but not enough to get an officer's attention. All the while, my mind turned over and over everything the reporter had told me. And the more I did that, the less sense it all made. I had added multiple safety mechanisms to the mechs' designs when I had enhanced them. That they'd all failed, not just on one unit but on an entire squad, was so unlikely that it was virtually impossible. Or at least it should have been.

It wasn't long before I got to Shinra Headquarters. I parked and all but flew inside, taking the elevator to the 30th floor and rushing right to Marissa's office. She was there, calmly working on her computer, totally unaware of the horrible news I had for her. I didn't know how to say it. I was awash in nerves, and I realized I was trembling.

Marissa looked up and saw me. "Jessica, hi! Wasn't expecting to see you here today. Is everything alright?"

I sighed. "Marissa, I…"

She got up, seeing my discomfort at once. "What's wrong? You can tell me. Here, let's go to our break room, it'll be more comfortable. And I'll get you some coffee to help you relax."

Before I knew it, Marissa was guiding me gently down the hall, and then we entered the executive break room. She moved right over to the coffee maker and got started on our drinks while I struggled with how to say what had to be said, and I couldn't help thinking of the last time I had been here with her when bad news had struck.

When I had heard about Corel.

Reaching for the remote, Marissa switched on the TV, her red curls swishing around in the ponytail she had them in. She froze, though, as soon as she saw what was on the screen. The news station was showing the report again from earlier. The crowd and the sirens around Reactor 3. As the journalist—a man this time—spoke about an accident inside, Marissa dropped the remote with a gasp.

Her hand dove into her pocket and pulled out her phone. Now she was trembling, trying to call a husband that couldn't answer anymore. I went to her, realizing that the report on the screen had left out most of the details the female journalist had told me and that Shinra still wasn't saying much about it, only that the accident—that was what they were calling it—was still under investigation.

"Come on, Mark, answer!" Marissa wailed. "Please!"

I took her shoulder. "Marissa—"

She shook me off, jamming her phone back into her pocket after a fifth unsuccessful try at reaching her husband. "I'm sorry, Jessica, but I have to get down there. If Mark's been hurt—"

"I was just there!" I seized her by both shoulders this time. "I got a reporter to tell me the real story. And…"

"What is it!? Tell me!"

I took a deep breath, then let it out. "He… he's dead…"

Marissa just collapsed, her legs folding beneath her as if they'd just become unhinged, and she dropped to the floor like a rock tossed into a pool of water, her back to the bottom cabinets of the kitchenette. She shook her head in disbelief, her green eyes filling with tears, and when I sat down next to her, she took my hands in hers.

"No! It… it can't be!" she sobbed. "It just can't! Tell me it isn't!"

I held her, my own eyes wet. "I'm so sorry…"

Marissa wept in my arms for a while, too overwhelmed to talk, and my heart ached for her. At the same time, I was furious about what had happened. An accident that couldn't have been possible, shouldn't have been possible. But it had happened, just the same. I had to find out the truth, why the mechs had malfunctioned like that.

Eventually, Marissa wore herself out, although her chest continued to heave. I told her what the woman at the scene had told me about the incident. She sniffled and started to cry again when she heard what the roboguards had done to her husband and everyone else, then clenched her fingers into tight, shaking fists. Marissa hit the cabinet door to her right with a loud thump as she smashed the back of her hand against it, ignoring the pain as she sat there trembling.

"How could Shinra let this happen!?" she growled.

I shook my head. "I don't know. But I'm gonna find out, Marissa. I promise. I'll get to the truth, no matter what."

She hugged me, then sat back with a sigh. "I didn't know about the protest, Jessica. Mark never told me. Probably didn't want me to worry. He was always like that, you know. I could tell how sick he was getting, but he always passed it off as something else. I knew it was from work, though. I tried to get him to see a doctor, but he always insisted he was fine. I didn't know it was because Shinra wouldn't cover the treatments for his illness. The bastards. They'd rather let him die than spend a few gil to help him get well. How could I have worked here for so long and not have known what they're really like?"

"Marissa…" I began, but she went on before I could finish.

"Mark and I just celebrated our wedding anniversary a few months ago. Ten years. Did you know that? It was those two weeks I was away. The first time I left you in charge of the division."

I smiled at the memory. "I remember."

"He took me to Costa del Sol on vacation," Marissa went on. "It's a wonderful place, and you should go someday. If you ever find someone special to share it with, that is. It's much better that way, believe me. We had a lovely time. I just… I just wish…"

"I know, Marissa," I whispered. "I know…"

There was a wireless office phone mounted on the wall nearby, and after giving Marissa's shoulder a gentle squeeze, I stood up and went to it. I picked it up, dialed the code to connect to the Urban Development Division, and held it up to my ear. I didn't take more than a ring or two for the secretary to answer, her voice all business.

"This is the Shinra Company's Urban Development Division, may I help you?" she asked.

"I need to speak to Director Tuesti right away," I told her.

Her denial was immediate. "I'm sorry, but the Director is currently in a meeting right now, and—"

"I don't give a damn about that!" I hissed. "Tell him it's urgent! It's Jessica—_that_ Jessica—and I'm here with the Director of SO on the 30th floor. Now get him on the line! I have other ways of reaching him, and if he finds out you wouldn't let me talk to him in an emergency, I don't think he'll be happy about it. Might cost you your job."

The secretary's stammering reply was very satisfying. "I-I'm sorry, ma'am! Just… just one moment, please."

Behind me, Marissa chuckled softly in between sniffles. "Whatever happened to that quiet, unassuming girl I met two years ago?"

I turned back to her. "I grew up."

"You certainly have. I've never seen you be so assertive before."

"Too much time with Scarlet, I suppose," I shrugged. "If there's one thing I've learned from working for her, it's how to make myself heard. Not that I want to be like her, mind you."

Marissa stood up. "Oh, I know that. She's terrible."

I was starting to see that myself, though I hadn't realized the whole of it yet. But I had a hunch that the answers to what had happened over at Reactor 3 today were somewhere in Weapons Development, likely in the design schematics for those roboguards. I intended to go over them again as soon as possible and search for anything that might've caused them to malfunction the way they had. If had even been a malfunction and not something else entirely. I shivered.

A moment later, Reeve's voice came on the line. "Jessica?"

"Reeve," I sighed. "Sorry to pull you out of your meeting, but this is important. Did you hear about Reactor 3?"

"Yes, but no details. I only just found out a few minutes ago during the meeting with the president and the other directors. And no need to apologize, Jessica. I know you wouldn't have done this without reason. What's going on? They're saying it was an accident."

I grimaced. "I don't think it was. But we can worry about that later. Right now, I need you to get down here as fast as you can. Marissa and I are in the executive break room. Did you know that her husband was the supervisor for Reactor 3?"

"No…" he breathed. "I didn't. Then that means she just…"

"Yes. Exactly. Now you know why I called."

His voice was firmer when he answered. "Tell her I'm on my way."

"I will, Reeve," I answered. "Thanks."

After I hung up, I took Marissa and gently led her over to the table. She moved as if she were made of glass as she slowly sat down in one of the chairs. I pulled up another and sat next to her, not saying anything at first but simply being with her. Then she lifted her head, her eyeliner streaked down her face from crying, and looked at me.

"Jessica… I just wanted to thank you… for being the one to tell me about Mark. I'm glad I heard it from you first… instead of some officer I've never even met before. I don't know what I would have done… if I had been alone when I found out."

I hugged her tight, my own eyes far from dry. "I wasn't going to let that happen, Marissa. We're friends, right? Don't mention it. Reeve's on his way here, so just let us handle it."

She had a good ten years on me at twenty-eight, but that had never mattered much to either of us. In the time I'd been working for Shinra, Marissa and I had forged a close friendship in spite of the difference in our ages. And she had never fully kept up that stark divider in between supervisor and employee that most managers usually did. At least with me. I never received any special favors or treatment, of course, not that ever wanted them. I had always been committed to earning what I had achieved here completely on my own, through my own effort and hard work, and I think she knew that.

A few moments later, Reeve walked in, but before Marissa could go to him, her phone rang. She picked it up with trembling hands as I laid one of my own on her shoulder. I knew who it was, and I could tell that Reeve did, too. He stood nearby, waiting quietly, nothing but sympathy in his eyes as she took the call.

"H-Hello? Yes, I… I'm Mrs. Tobin. I… I know, sir. My friend… she just… she just told me. Alright, I… I'll be down there as soon as I can. Thank you. Goodbye."

After she hung up, I took her hand. "Marissa?"

"It… it was the police department… calling to tell me about Mark. They want me to… go down to Midgar General and… iden… identi… i-identify… his… his…"

She broke down again, unable to finish what she had meant to say. Reeve went to her, taking her in his arms and holding her as she cried. She started pounding his shoulder, anger mixed with grief now, but he never even flinched. He never said a word. He simply let her vent what was inside her. Marissa went on and on, asking how Shinra could have let it happen, why they would have let it happen.

Eventually, her sobs diminished to little whimpers and then just to sniffles as she relaxed her fist and stopped her frustrated pummeling. It wasn't Reeve she was really angry at, it was Shinra itself. He was simply the only one of the company's upper management she could touch and act out against, the only one who was actually here, and I was sure that he knew it just as well as I did.

"Sorry," she lifted her head up. "I think I messed up your suit."

He shook his head. "Don't worry about it. Just do what you have to do. Take all the time you need."

Marissa nodded and stepped away. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Oh, and one other thing. Full benefits."

"What?" she blinked. "But Mark and I, our workers' compensation package doesn't cover… something like this…"

Reeve grasped her shoulder. "It does now. I know I can't bring your husband back, Marissa, but I can make sure you have one less thing to worry about. And… I'm very sorry for your loss."

"Thank you so much, Director," she dabbed at her eyes.

"Anytime. Jessica, see to her, would you?"

I nodded. "Absolutely. I'll take her where she needs to go today. To the hospital… and then home. But while I'm gone, Reeve, could you do something for me? That journalist I talked to, I'm willing to bet what I got her to tell me wasn't what she broadcast. I know it's not the same as what they've been showing since then."

He scratched his beard in thought. "Go on."

"She must've gotten footage from the internal security cameras, the ones that weren't used to broadcast the protest. That's the only way she could have known so much about what happened in there since Shinra isn't saying much themselves. Can you get me a copy of that footage? If I can go over it and see for myself what those roboguards did, it might help me figure out exactly what went wrong."

"You'll have it. Even if I have to have Cait 'liberate' it from Shinra's security office. They'll have a copy, if anyone does."

I smiled in relief as I led Marissa toward the door. "Thanks, Reeve. And if you can… try to find that reporter I talked to and warn her. I'm afraid of what whoever in Shinra is behind this might do to her if they find out she's got footage of what really happened at the reactor. I don't know her name, only that she was there not long after it all went down, around 9:30 or so."

"I will, Jessica," he answered. "I can contact the station and see who was covering the story at that time."

"I appreciate it. And I'll fill you in on what she told me, what really went on in Reactor 3, as soon as I can. But I'd better go take care of my friend first. I'll come back once she's home."

Reeve gazed at me. "Do it. I'll handle things here."

I did, walking Marissa down the hall, my arm around her, holding her up as much as offering comfort. We stopped by her office just long enough for her to pick up her purse before moving on. Then, after she had locked the door, she handed me the key. I took it, sliding it into my pocket, then went with her to the elevators.

* * *

Cait was waiting for me in my office when I got back to the Shinra Building a few hours later. As always, he was perched upon the edge of my desk, his furry little legs hanging in the air, and he smiled when he saw me walk in. In spite of how much I was hurting inside from all that had happened, seeing Cait there made me feel a little better. He always seemed to know how to cheer me up. I'm not really sure why. Maybe it was his typically lighthearted nature.

His whiskers twitched. "Special delivery!"

"What have you got?" I asked, settling into my chair.

"Just what ye asked fer, lassie. I went upstairs tae the security office ahn 'borrowed' the evidence, ye might say."

I stared at him. "You've got the recordings?"

"It's all up here," he tapped the side of his forehead. "In mae wee lil' noggin. I'll have it in yer computer in a jiffy."

As I sat back to give him room, Cait padded over to the keyboard, switched on the computer, and started tapping keys. His gloved fingers were a blur, moving even faster than mine ever had. He _was_ a machine by nature, though, so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. I had just gotten so used to him and his quirky personality that I had sometimes forgotten he was artificial. But that didn't make him any less real to me. Cait was as much my friend as Reeve and Marissa.

Cait Sith stopped his typing when a prompt suddenly appeared on the screen right in the middle of the desktop. It was new, something I'd never seen before, and I leaned forward in my chair to get a better look at it. The message was short and to the point, flashing eerily in the little black box in three rows of bright green letters:

SYSTEM ACCESS FOR CS UNIT CS-01 GRANTED  
SECURITY OVERRIDE CODE CS-174-62B-R985  
TRANSMIT FILES TO HOST SYSTEM JH-1 WHEN READY

I glanced back at Cait to see him standing there, his right hand flat against the side of his head as he sent the recordings he'd snagged over to my computer. It took a few minutes for him to finish, and in all that time, he never moved so much as an inch. When he was done, the new prompt on the screen disappeared. Cait shook his head, let his arm fall to his side, and made a little bow.

"All set, lassie! Ye'll find them in a secured folder there on yer main drive. I should warn ye, though. It's not pleasant viewing."

I didn't doubt that. "You've seen it?"

He nodded. "Aye. Mae ahn Reeve both. Ahn Jessica, ye might want tae know that SIN News isn't reporting it as an accident anymore. They say the workers were rioting ahn that the machines responded the way they did because the folks in there went after them."

My hands clenched into fists. "That's not what happened!"

"I know, lass. Reeve ahn Marissa do, too. The footage SIN's got out there now's obviously been fixed up tae match their story. But I still got to the real thing before they could wipe it. I'll keep mae copy safe here in mae head, ahn you hold ontae yers."

"I will, Cait," I promised. "Count on it."

He sighed. "There's one other thing. We tried to find that reporter ye told us aboot. To warn her, ye know. But… we were tae late. She was on her way back tae the SIN News building when… her van was hit by a Shinra supply truck ahn overturned."

My eyes widened. "Oh, no! Cait, is she…?"

"She didn't make it. None of her crew did, either. SIN's sayin' it was an accident, but Reeve ahn I did some diggin'. Seems like they told her to head back just before ye got there."

"This is terrible…" I breathed, my head in my hands. "Now I know why she was so scared to talk to me. I had to basically twist her arm to get her to tell me anything. Maybe I was too hard on her."

Cait sat down and patted my hand. "Ye did what ye had to do, lass. Don't be thinkin' otherwise."

I sighed. "I guess you're right. But that reporter, I think she must've realized that someone here at Shinra would find out she had unaltered security footage of the massacre and try to stop her from using it. And now she's dead. Whoever's behind this must've wanted her there on the road, Cait. I'm sure of it."

"I think that, too. While ye were gone, I did some snooping inside the SIN News building and found that reporter's phone records. Seems she made a transmission just after she left the scene, going by the logs I saw. I dinnae who she sent it to, since she did a pretty good job tae hide it, but judging by the file size, I'd have tae say she sent someone a copy of those recordings. Ahn I don't think anyone else knows that yet. Best to keep it that way if we can, lass."

"Right," I agreed. "Cait… did you find out her name?"

He stood up and and sighed. "Aye. Aria Burrows. Wish we'd been a wee bit faster, but we can't be dwellin' on that now."

I knew that. I just couldn't help wishing, like Cait, that I had found a way to warn her in time. But as I lifted my head back up and gazed at Cait and the new folder on the screen, I made a mental promise to Aria that I wouldn't let her death be for nothing. With that in mind, I took a deep breath and navigated to the new folder.

Cait touched my arm. "Ye want me to watch with ye?"

"I'd like that," I smiled. "It's not going to be easy, especially since I'll probably have to go over it several times and even slow it down to get a better idea of how the mechs were behaving and why. I'm also going to check the design schematics for them once I'm finished with this to see if anyone's been tampering with them."

"Then let's get started, lass. Reeve's taken on Marissa's job today, so ye needn't worry about managing the division fer now."

I slid my fingers onto the keyboard. "Right. Wish me luck, Cait."

He grinned. "Oh, I do, Jessica. I do."

Another prompt came up when I tried to access the new folder, but Cait touched the side of his head again, sending the decryption code. It went through without a hitch as the prompt disappeared, and we were in. Cait's smile faded quickly as we began to watch the security footage, and it was all I could do to keep my own composure. I tried to keep my eyes only on the mechs, but the terrified screams of all those people as they were shot pulled my gaze to them again and again. I felt tears slide down my cheeks and did nothing to stop them.

I don't know how long I sat there, watching and re-watching those awful images. It must've been hours. Cait never moved, never left, and I was so glad for his presence. I thought back to Corel, how I still didn't know the truth behind that, either. Scarlet hadn't told me much, and I'd had to let it go. But I had never forgotten.

As I slowed down the playback to more easily examine the mechs' behavior patterns, I found it a little easier to focus on what I had to do. Not having the audio helped, but I could still hear it in my mind easily enough if I stopped and thought about it. My face was still wet, and I'd had to clean my glasses more than once, but my resolve never wavered. Neither did the anger simmering in my gut.

"What are ye lookin' fer, lassie?" Cait wondered.

"Trying to see if the roboguards were being directed or were acting autonomously. They have two modes that they can operate in, you see. When the workers are in the reactor, the roboguards are set to standby. What that means, Cait, is that they only attack if either they or the staff are directly threatened. They won't otherwise."

He scratched his chin. "Aye. And the other mode?"

"Combat status," I explained. "The roboguards attack anything that gets in range of their sensors. It's only activated at night when the staff isn't there, to guard against intruders. The switch is automatic—it's part of their programming—and can't be externally activated. That's one of the safety measures I put in place. Another is that I set the roboguards to change modes twice a day—once in the morning at 6:30 to switch to standby mode half an hour before the staff arrives for the day, and then once again in the evening at 6:30 to switch over into combat mode half an hour after everyone's left."

"I see. So what do ye think happened?" he asked.

I thought for a moment. "From what I can tell, it's pretty clear that the roboguards were in combat mode. None of them were in the room before the attack began, and they… they must've seen the people there as intruders, and… acted accordingly."

Cait put a hand on my shoulder. "Why would they do that?"

"I don't know. Sorry, I… it's just hard. I keep seeing it in my mind, hearing the screams and the gunfire, seeing the blood everywhere. But it was 9:00, well after the time for the switch, when the attack started. It shouldn't have been possible. The mechs should've still been in standby mode. And I _never_ programmed them to self-destruct. Something isn't adding up here, Cait…"

"Ye think they could've been controlled?" he blinked.

I shuddered at the thought. "Maybe, but that shouldn't be possible either. All their behavioral subroutines and programming are encoded to prevent anyone from manipulating them like that. There isn't much more I can tell from the recordings. I'll have to bring up the schematics and see what I can find in there."

After closing out the video and leaving the new folder, I navigated my way through the system and onto the Shinra information network. It was actually a breach of company protocol to access files and systems from a different division, but I didn't care. I had set up remote access to the Weapons Development internal database shortly after the incident in Corel, and I went in there now, hiding my trail as I went. But when I tried to view the specs on those roboguards, I couldn't. All I got was an error message, a single infuriating line of red text:

ACCESS DENIED

"What the hell…?" I stared at the screen.

Cait followed my gaze with his own. "What is it, lass?"

I frowned. "I should be able to see these blueprints, Cait. I worked on them myself. I have the authorization to view them. I did, anyway. I don't understand. Why would Scarlet lock me out?"

"Can ye access any of the others?"

"Yes," I checked a few of them, "but not the ones used to guard the reactors. Those have been blocked. I might be able to hack my way into them, but it won't be easy, and it may take a while."

Cait nodded. "What aboot Scarlet?"

That was a good question. "There's gotta be something in there she doesn't want me to know about. But I don't want her to realize that I'm onto her yet, either. I can't be tipping my hand right now."

"So what are ye gonna do?" he prodded.

"I'll keep my eyes open, try to find out whatever else I can, and see about hacking through that block to get a look at those schematics. It'll take time, but I'm sure I can do it."

It was all I could do, really. I had hoped to be able to find the truth today, but I suppose that was an unrealistic wish to have. I'd just felt so bad for Marissa and even Aria that I had wanted to make some kind of progress in my investigation for their sake as well as my own. Though I had learned a bit from examining the camera footage, I still had a lot of unanswered questions and more than a little fear.

Shinra was fast turning into a place I didn't know anymore.


	7. SIX

**SIX**

About nine months after the Reactor 3 incident, I found Marissa in her office. I was nineteen, well into my third year at Shinra, and not all that surprised to see her packing her things. Ever since returning from her leave of absence to see to her husband's affairs, she'd been teaching me more and more about her work and what it involved, what she did. Some of it I'd already known, being her assistant, but a lot of it was new stuff, so I took it all in, learning all she had to teach me. I knew why, of course, and I could tell where it was going.

Marissa was leaving.

I couldn't say as I blamed her. My investigations into the Reactor 3 and Corel incidents had slowed down over the past year, both because of my steadily increasing workload in Systems Operation and Weapons Development as well as the walls I kept running into. Again and again, I had tried to get access to the schematics for the roboguards, and still I couldn't find a way in. I'd asked Scarlet about it once, as innocently as I could in order to avoid making her suspicious, and she'd told me it was a systems glitch they hadn't managed to fix yet.

I hadn't believed her lame excuse for a second, but I had nodded as if I did so she wouldn't realize I was on to her. I hated that I'd gotten so stuck, but Marissa had never blamed me. She knew I was trying, but it was still hard for me to know I hadn't been able to find the truth about her husband's death yet. She was my friend, and I felt I owed it to her. I owed to everyone who had died in that horrible nightmare. Aria, too. I hadn't forgotten the reporter who had told me the real story. She'd been killed not long afterward, but I hadn't been able to find out yet who she had sent her copy of the camera footage to.

"Hi, Jessica," Marissa said, closing up the cardboard box.

I sighed. "It's that time?"

She nodded. "Yes. I… I put in my resignation two weeks ago. I just can't keep on working here as if… nothing happened."

"You don't have to explain," I said.

"I thought about leaving not long after Mark died, but… I couldn't leave you high and dry like that. I had to make sure you'd be alright. So that's why I stayed on for a while, having you do more and more in the division and teaching you what I knew."

I blinked. "I wondered about that. Are you saying…?"

"Yes, Jessica. That's right. Effective immediately, you're going to be the new Director of Systems Operation."

"Me?" I stared at her.

Marissa smiled. "Congratulations. I know you'll do well."

I had figured something like this had been coming, but it still felt a little overwhelming. "Thanks, Marissa. I've got to admit, though, I'm a little surprised. I just thought, even though I'm your assistant, that you would have picked someone who's been here longer. Maybe older, too. But I do appreciate your confidence in me."

"The recommendation came straight from Director Tuesti, and it's one I very much agree with. There are other people who've been in the division longer than you have, that's true enough. But Jessica… no one knows these systems as well as you do. You have a real gift, a talent for computers and technology like I've never seen."

"I guess you're right," I laughed. "Now I know why you had me and Garrett working together so much lately. You were prepping him to be my assistant, weren't you?"

She chuckled. "Yes. He'll be a good help to you."

"It won't be the same without you, though," I told her.

"I've got to admit, a part of me is going to miss this place," Marissa said. "But at least I'm leaving it in good hands."

I straightened. "I'll do my best."

Marissa took my shoulder. "I know you will, Jessica."

Instead of letting go, she drew me into a hug, one I returned gladly. When we did step away, I saw that her eyes were a little wet. Mine were too, but it didn't matter. Then she picked up her box, looked around at the empty office for a minute, and let out a deep breath. It was time for her to go, and we both knew it.

"Stay in touch, alright?" I asked.

She smiled. "Of course. And don't feel bad about… your search. I know you're doing everything you can."

"If I find—no, _when_ I find—anything, I'll let you know. I promise. I haven't given up, and I'm not going to."

"Thank you," Marissa said. "That means a lot to me."

I walked with her to the door. "You're welcome."

She paused when we got there. "Jessica… be sure to keep your eyes open, alright? Nothing here is quite what it seems. If what happened to Mark and all those others taught me anything, it's that Shinra's up to no good and has been for a while. Watch yourself."

"I will, Marissa," I promised.

"This is your office now," she said. "Take care."

And then she was gone, walking away toward the elevator, her box in her arms. I watched her go, sad to see my friend leave but happy that I'd been promoted. It was a mixed blessing, and while I knew we would still stay in contact, it wouldn't be the same. After Marissa had entered the elevator, I sighed and went over my old office to start moving all of my things to the new one.

Reeve came down a while later. I was still getting things organized in my new office—it was still hard to think of it as mine, since I'd been so used to it being Marissa's for over three years now. I would miss our chats together and our early morning coffee breaks. But I had to go on. The job and the office were mine now, as she'd said.

I looked up as Reeve walked in. "I wondered when you'd stop by."

"Just thought I'd check in on you," he said.

"I'll be alright," I told him. "I'm happy about the promotion, but… not so much the way I got it."

He settled into a chair on the other side of my desk. "I understand, Jessica. And I know you and Marissa were friends. Good friends. But it was her decision to leave. You and I both know that she hasn't been the same since her husband was killed. I don't blame her, and I wish her all the best wherever she goes next. But she left you in charge here. I made it official, but it was as much her idea as mine."

"I know, Reeve," I replied. "I'll do the best I can."

"Good. That's all I needed to hear."

I sat in my own chair, the one that had once been Marissa's. "Have you been able to find out anything?"

"No, I'm afraid not," he answered. "I'm sorry."

I shook my head. "It's alright. I figured the other directors wouldn't say much, but it was worth a try."

"It was. But none of them will even talk about Reactor 3."

"Not even the president?" I wondered.

He grimaced. "No. They're keeping me in the dark again. But what are they trying to hide?"

"I wish I knew," I sighed.

Reeve nodded. "I'll keep trying. You do the same, Jessica."

I nodded. "I will. I've been trying not to cross the line too much in my investigations, but I don't know how much farther I can go without pushing at a few rules here. I've already bent some, but I didn't want to go any further without checking with you first."

"Do what you have to do," he assured me. "I'll cover for you if need be. Just find us some answers."

"Understood," I said.

Now that he had untied my hands, there was a lot more I could do to uncover the truth about Corel and Reactor 3. It wasn't exactly above board, so to say, but I thought it would be effective. And I had a couple ideas of where to start. Cait had already been to the security office, but I wanted to go there for myself. Normally, even though I was a director now, my keycard access still couldn't go that high. I could only go as far as the 65th floor, but the security office was on the 67th floor. There was a solution, of course, but I hadn't wanted to implement it until I knew I had Reeve's support, since it was more than a little sketchy.

But then again, hacking sometimes was.

Reeve stood up. "In the meantime, don't forget about your new job here. You're responsible for this department now."

"I'll remember," I replied.

"I know you will. Congratulations… Director."

He reached out his hand, and I shook it, smiling as I heard him use my new title. "Thank you, Reeve. Being called 'Director'… that's gonna take some getting used to."

"I don't doubt it," he grinned. "But you've earned it."

After he left, I finished putting my things away, then I walked over to the window for a moment and gazed out at the city laid out beneath me with all its lights, three of the reactors visible in the distance. It was a bit of a different view here than it had been in my old office, but I still felt sometimes like a bird in a cage. The outer wall of Midgar lined the horizon, with the reactors looming like towers over the city. What was out there past them? Past the badlands?

I didn't know. Aside from my memories of Junon, I didn't know all that much about the world beyond Midgar. But someday, I would go. I would see what was out there, as much as I could. I'd leave this city and never look back. In the meantime, though, I had a job to do as well as a mystery to solve. It was going to be a few days before I would be ready to sneak into the security office, what with my responsibilities here and in Weapons Development and with getting the equipment I needed for my little expedition. But I knew what I had to do, and I was bound and determined to get it done. One way or another.

* * *

Three days later, I was ready.

After leaving Garrett to oversee things in SO for a few hours, I left my office and headed to the elevators. I hadn't told him the real reason I would be gone, only that I had things to take care of upstairs and that I'd be back in a while. It was close enough to the truth, if a little vague. But he had still believed me, so here I was, on my way to do something that was both against company policy and most likely illegal. But it was the only way I would get any answers.

I rode the elevator up to the 61st floor, then walked casually across the cafeteria to the escalator room on the far right side of the area. As I slipped inside, I glanced behind me for a moment, my heart pounding in my chest. But no one was there. I rode the escalators up, one by one, all the way to the 67th floor. The room itself was accessible, but the rest of the level wasn't. The door leading to the main hall was locked with a highly-sophisticated electronic card reader, and my keycard didn't have the access permissions to open it.

Not yet, anyway.

Moving to the door, I went to the card reader. It was a complex bit of technology to be sure, but it wasn't foolproof. And I had spent quite a bit of time over the past few months learning how it worked and how to hack it. I set down the briefcase I was carrying, opened it up, and got to work. Inside were tools, not papers. But this was a good way to keep them hidden, and no one knew I had them.

Taking out a small screwdriver, I carefully removed the cover from the card reader, exposing the wiring. Then I took a few more tools out of my briefcase and got to work reprogramming the scanner to give my keycard authorization to unlock the door. It was delicate work and felt as if it took hours to do, but really it was only about twenty minutes or so later when I was finally finished. After screwing the cover back onto the card reader, I put my tools back into my briefcase, then swiped my keycard through the scanner. The light above it went from red to green as a little chime sounded. Music to my ears.

I smiled as the door opened. "Easy money…"

The hall curved down to the right, and I followed it around until it split in two. Ahead of me, the corridor continued into the lower part of Shinra's Science Division. Not my destination, and I had to push down my natural curiosity as I entered a side passage to the right, a narrower hall that led to a set of detention cells—I had checked the layout of this floor on my computer earlier, so I knew where everything was. A door was on the right side of this second hall just a short way in, and I made my way there before anyone could see me.

As I'd planned for and expected, there was only one security officer on duty today. Sometimes there were three or four, but usually when it was slow like this, Shinra only had one stationed here. Their cheap way of doing things had come through for me. So far, everything was going according to plan. There wasn't anyone in the cells today, so the officer was as bored and inattentive as I'd known he'd be.

He looked up as the door hissed open. "Yeah? Who're you?"

"Just a systems engineer from downstairs," I said, walking inside. I disarmed him with a smile. "I was told to run some diagnostics on the computers here. It won't take long."

"Don't be in such a rush," he smiled back. "Take your time."

I leaned over one of the two L-shaped desks on the right side of the room, giving him a nice view of my figure. I was wearing a knee-length skirt instead of my usual slacks. "Are you all by yourself today?"

"Not anymore," the officer said. "You got a name?"

"Sara. How about you?"

He turned in his chair to face me. "Kellin. I don't get many visitors up here. Especially pretty ones."

My heart was pounding. I wasn't used to being flirty like this, but it was all part of the plan. I almost felt sorry for the guy. But I knew what I had to do, and throwing off his suspicions was part of the game. Then I'd have him right where I wanted him. I couldn't help blushing a little, though. I'd never really thought of myself as pretty.

"Thanks," I said, batting my eyelashes at him. I put my briefcase on the desk and opened it. "Must get lonely sometimes, huh?"

"Yeah, it does. I'm not married, by the way."

I flashed him another smile over my shoulder. "Neither am I."

Kellin leaned forward. "I've always liked smart girls."

"Is that so?" I said, raising an eyebrow.

It was almost fun, bantering like this. I could have kept going for a while, but I didn't have the time. So I decided to move things along and gave him the most sultry stare I could muster. Then I started to untuck my blouse. Kellin's widened eyes and sudden, heavy swallow were very flattering and exactly what I'd been hoping for. As I reached behind me to work on the back, I quietly took some of the other items I'd brought with me out of my briefcase. While I held them in one hand behind my back, I reached up with the other hand and unfastened the top button. Then I pulled my collar just a little to the side, teasing him with a small glimpse of the skin below my neck and shoulder.

I gazed at him. "Better lock the door."

Kellin was up in an instant, moving to the wall panel and tapping a few keys to do just that. As the light above the door went from green to red, he walked toward me, the hunger clear in his eyes now. Exactly as I'd known it would be. I shook my head and pointed to his chair, which he'd left in front of a large, U-shaped computer console.

He tried again. "Come on, baby…"

"Go sit down," I purred. "I'll come to you, okay?"

"You're makin' a game out of it, eh?" he grinned, racing back to his chair and having a seat. "Sounds like fun."

I wove slowly toward him. "Yeah. Now just relax."

"Sure thing. You've really got my blood pumpin', you know that?"

"Do I?" I unfastened the next button.

Kellin nodded. "Hell yeah. You're as hot as they come, Sara."

I smirked as I drew closer. "Flattery will get you everything, Kellin. And everywhere. Now shut your eyes."

My left hand was still behind me, had been this whole time, but I'd gotten Kellin so completely enthralled with me that he had never even noticed. That was the whole idea, of course. Still smiling, he closed his eyes, and after they were shut, I turned his chair so he was facing away from me. Then I bent low and whispered in his ear.

"Ready for a surprise?"

He laughed. "You bet. Lay it on me."

Straightening, I took the bottle and cloth I'd been carrying and put them in both hands now. After unscrewing the cap, I poured out some of the chloroform onto the cloth until it was good and wet. Keeping the cloth well away from my own face, I replaced the cap, put the bottle off to one side, and leaned in close to Kellin again, putting my mouth near his left ear so I had his full attention.

"Alright, stud," I breathed. "Here it comes."

I slid my left hand lightly across the right side of his face, turning it gently toward me as if I was going to kiss him. He tilted his head up as I knew he would, no doubt hoping to feel my lips or maybe something even better, and as soon as he did, I tightened my grip on his head and held it steady. Then, as he finally began to realize what was going on, I slammed the cloth full of chloroform over his face with my other hand. Kellin struggled, grabbing for me and trying to yell, but I kept the cloth over his mouth and nose for the next five minutes or so until he sagged and went limp in my arms.

After he was out, I put the cloth aside, picked him up, and laid him down in the back of the room behind the computer console where he'd be out of sight of anyone entering the room after I had left. I knelt over him for a minute and pulled a small vial from my pocket. Although he was unconscious for now, the chloroform wouldn't last long, not more than twenty or thirty minutes. The tranquilizer would keep him out for the next two hours, though. More than enough time for me to get onto the main computer and do some digging.

It wasn't hard for me to force the liquid down his throat. I just had to hold his nose shut so he'd swallow it. When that was done, I slipped the empty vial back into my pocket and looked at him for a moment. I admit, I felt a little bad for tricking him and leading him on, but it had to be done. And besides, he wasn't really my type.

"Sweet dreams, loverboy," I whispered.

Then I got to work, sliding into Kellin's chair and moving up to the central computer console. I dove in, navigating through the system and hiding my tracks as I went. Aside from watching prisoners, the security station also monitored all incoming and outgoing transmissions for the Shinra Building. If someone in this place had sent some kind of signal to the mechs in Reactor 3 that day, the transmission logs would have a record of it. All I had to do was find it.

I scrolled through the lists of log entries, sorting by date as I paged further and further back and hoped the older ones hadn't been purged by now. They shouldn't have been, at least not yet. Most of the logs and other records were kept on the system for a year before being wiped or archived. It hadn't been quite that long since the Reactor 3 incident, so what I was looking for should still have been there.

Only it wasn't.

There was a gap, clear and obvious, in the log entries for the day of the massacre. I wasn't really surprised. Whoever had sent the signal to the roboguards must've deleted the file to cover his tracks and hide the evidence of what he'd done. Clever, but I knew how to recover lost files. It was part of my job, after all.

Reaching into the pocket of my skirt again, I took out a small flash drive and plugged it into the computer. I ran the file recovery program I'd installed on it earlier and directed it to the computer's main drive. It was where all the log files were stored. Of course, there would probably be lots of other junk files restored along with the logs. That was just the nature of the beast. I would just have to search until I found what I was looking for. Not very exciting, but necessary just the same.

After the program had brought up a list of all the recovered files, I started scrolling through it, scanning the items one by one. Most were, as I'd expected, junk or temporary system files. Nothing important. But farther down the list, I hit paydirt. A single transmission log, dated the same day as the Reactor 3 massacre. And the timestamp was 9:05 MST. Just five minutes after the protest had started. Those people had barely gotten the chance to say anything before the mechs had come storming in and shot everyone in the room.

The next step was to open the log file and see what it could tell me. So I did, and as I read what was in there, I sat back and sighed, closing my eyes for a moment as I tried to take it all in. I felt angry, as much at myself as at whoever had done this, and hurt. And guilty for the part I had unwittingly played in the disaster, a part I should have seen earlier but hadn't wanted to. Maybe I'd been afraid to.

The log file had recorded that the transmission that had been sent was an activation signal. One that had been directed right at the group of roboguards that had carried out the massacre. The signal analysis in the log file clearly showed that the beacon had been used to switch the mechs from standby to combat mode. And from there, the mechs were fed false sensor data indicating the presence of intruders in the control room on the top level. Lastly, a final command had been embedded in the signal, instructing the mechs to auto-destruct after every target had been eliminated. A function I had never included in my enhancements for the roboguards. Which could mean only one thing.

My designs had been altered.

They had been twisted and perverted into killing machines instead of the protectors I had meant for them to be. I felt almost violated. My work had been subverted and used to kill innocent people. I should've known better. At least that's what I kept telling myself. I should've been less trusting of Scarlet and kept my files secured so only I could make changes to them. But I hadn't. It hadn't even occurred to me before that Shinra would alter my work behind my back.

Then a chill suddenly swept through me. My designs for these few mechs had been changed, that was undeniable now. But what about the rest? Had my other weapon designs been subverted, too? I didn't want to believe it, but it seemed likely. I hadn't seen anything different a few days ago when I'd been on the Weapons Development network looking at them and adding some new ones. But that wasn't the only place that the weapon schematics were stored. Scarlet also kept copies of both her work and mine on her computer. If she had made changes to any of my designs, that's where they'd be.

No one was allowed to touch her computer except her, though. Not even me. I didn't know her passwords, but I did know how to get them. And once I did, I'd have to secure access to her computer to find out if my hunch was right. That wasn't going to be easy or quick, though. She didn't leave the division very often. I could set the first part of my plan in motion from my own computer in SO, but I would have to wait until Scarlet went away again to finish the job.

I had learned just about all I could from the log, but before I closed the file, I noticed one more command embedded in the signal. It wasn't directed at the mechs, though. Instead, it instructed the reactor's main computer system to lock the lower door of the room the protesters had been in until everyone in there was dead.

My hands not quite steady, I closed the log file and copied it to the flash drive. Then I closed my file recovery program and unplugged the drive. I was done here. After putting the flash drive back in my pocket, I went back through the system until it was right where Kellin had left it. That way when he woke up, he wouldn't know I'd been on it. Then I got up, picked up my briefcase, and went to the door.

After unlocking it, I stepped out into the hall and hurried back the way I'd come. But when I got to the intersection, I paused. This time, I didn't deny my curiosity. I decided a quick peek at the Science Division couldn't hurt, so I turned right and walked through the doorway. I had heard a little about the place during my time at Shinra, but mostly just rumors. What did they do here?

I crept past an office on the right and followed the corridor a short distance until it opened into a large storage bay. Stacks of large wooden crates with the Shinra logo on them stood along the far wall. But those weren't what caught my attention and made me gasp in shock, my eyes wide as I stared open-mouthed in disbelief. There were many tall, wide tubes of some thick, impact-resistant glass that stretched from floor to ceiling. Most were a couple feet across, but the largest was at least three times that size. And all of them were occupied.

Inhabited by monsters.

Some were lean, four-legged things with dark brown hides, snouts like pigs, sharp claws on each foot, teeth like razors, huge fangs, bright red manes, barbed tails, and foot-long spikes down their backs. Others floated in the air, pink things with whiplike tails, four arms, and six red eyes. And then there was a huge, hulking brute with misshapen arms, a pair of thick, stubby legs, and a head that was all mouth and teeth. And bouncing in front of it were three smaller creatures that looked kind of like yellow ladybugs with a single green eye.

A few men and women in lab coats walked back and forth between the thick glass tubes, observing the monsters and jotting notes onto the clipboards they carried. I slipped behind the nearest set of crates before any of them could see me. And when I did, I noticed that the largest of the tubes actually seemed to be a lift of some kind. It was the one with the big brute and his little pets.

One of the scientists flinched when the brute punched at the inner wall of the tube it was in. The glass held, though, as I figured it must've been designed to do. Even so, the guy staggered back a few steps as one of his colleagues walked up to him and patted him on the shoulder. He laughed and shook his head.

"Don't worry, they can't get out," the man said.

The other scientist glanced warily at the monster. "You sure?"

"Yeah. These holding pens are built to keep them restrained. They like poking at them, though. This bugger especially. We'll need to send him to the upper level soon. Professor Hojo wants to run some tests on it and observe its abilities. That poison breath in particular. So don't be long. You know he hates it when we're late."

"Right," the scientist said. "I'm finished here, anyway."

Poisonous monsters? What was Shinra thinking, making creatures like these? It scared me and bothered me more than I wanted to admit as I backed away from my hiding spot, my eyes still locked on the glass tubes. What would happen if these things ever escaped? I remembered the star pendant I'd hidden away on the 63rd floor so many months ago. It could protect against poison, although I hoped I'd never have to find out firsthand. I knew where to get it if I needed it, though, so I decided to leave it alone for now. I could always get it later. It was still in the air duct where I'd put it, so it wasn't going anywhere.

There was also a large metal dome across from the main lift, but I couldn't see what was inside it. There was a door with a single window on it, and it was sealed shut. What was in there? I thought I saw a bit of writing below the window, but I couldn't make it out from here. And I didn't want to get any closer and risk being seen. The pinkish light that shone through the glass was pretty eerie, though.

In any case, I had to get off this floor and downstairs before Kellin woke up and decided to come looking for me. I didn't need his interest or the complications that running into him would cause. So I snuck off toward the hallway, my eyes still on the monsters as I moved. But when I left the storage room and finally pulled my gaze away, I let out a little shriek as I nearly walked right into another man who had just emerged from the nearby office.

"You don't belong here," he wheezed, his voice cold and nasal.

I swallowed. "I, um… I-I just got a little lost, sir."

He looked at me as if I were an insect, his dark eyes narrow behind his round glasses. The man, obviously another scientist, was wearing a white lab coat and black tie over his button-down shirt and slacks, and his long black hair was pulled into a ponytail. I was thoroughly creeped out, to say the least.

The man sniffed. "This isn't a place for the unwary."

"I-I know," I answered. "I… I'll just be going now. Downstairs. And away from here. Far away."

"See that you do," he hissed.

Then he brushed past me without another word. I was just starting to hurry away when I heard one of the other scientists calling for him. When I heard him being addressed as Professor Hojo, I froze for just a moment and glanced back over my shoulder. I had almost run into the director of the Shinra Science Division himself and hadn't even known it. What a day this had turned out to be. Shaking my head with a sigh, I hurried back to the escalator room and went downstairs.


	8. SEVEN

**SEVEN**

"Jessica, would you come here?" Mom asked.

We were at home, just over a week after my little expedition to the security office and the Science Division. Since then, I'd hacked into the Weapons Development database from my computer in SO and planted the keylogger on Scarlet's system to snag her passwords. She was pretty good with a computer herself, but she was no match for me. I was sure she wouldn't find my little package anytime soon. I'd checked on it just yesterday, and there they were. She didn't change them often, so I knew they'd still be good by the time I was able to use them. But for now, all I could do was wait until she made another trip.

I let her pull me into her study. "Sure. What's up?"

Although I'd thought about getting my own place over the last year or so, I'd been worried about Mom and about leaving her here with my father. He had grown more restless and irritable lately, hitting her more often than he used to, and I was afraid of what might happen if she was here by herself with him. So I had decided to stay, not liking the almost constant tension that hung over the place now but not wanting to leave Mom to deal with it alone.

She closed the door and turned to me, nervous, excited, and afraid all at once. "There's something I have to tell you. Do you remember me saying I was working on a way to make things better for us?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "I remember."

"Well, Jessica… we're almost there. I'm getting very close to leaving your father. It won't be much longer."

My jaw dropped. "Really? Are you serious?"

She took my hands in hers. "Yes. You see, Jessica, over the past few years, I've been gathering as much information as I can about Richard's activities at Shinra. To make sure he'll leave us alone. That's what I was doing when he caught me in his office that time. Trying to get as much leverage as I could find."

"Why has it taken so long?" I wondered.

"I had a lot of dirt on him, but nothing big enough for me to use to get us out of here. Until now."

I stared at her. "What do you mean?"

"I can't tell you," Mom shook her head. "I know you want answers, and I'll tell you everything once we're away from your father. But right now, it's safer for you not to know."

"But I want to help!" I argued. "I _can_ help!"

She sighed. "I'm sorry. I know you're worried. But I promise it'll be fine. I've already found us a place to live, over in Sector 7. It won't be as posh as all this, I'm afraid, but it's nice enough."

"As long as we're free, Mom, we could live down in the slums and I wouldn't care," I said, hugging her tight.

"Well, I don't think it'll come to that," she laughed.

I let go of her. "Have you told him yet?"

Mom swallowed. "No. But if what I was sent last year and what I've found out since then prove what I think they do, then things are going to get very busy around here over the next few days."

"I'll be ready, Mom," I promised.

"I know. I've already got the divorce papers prepared. I just need to have the information I've obtained verified first. I'm taking the 8:00am train to Sector 7 to meet someone there to get that done. Also to check on the house and finalize the purchase. It'll be home, at least for a little while. Until we can leave Midgar, that is."

I smiled. "I can't wait to see it."

"I can't wait to show it to you," Mom replied. "But in the meantime, try not to worry. Everything's going to be fine."

"I know. Can I see you off at the station tomorrow?"

She nodded. "Of course. I'd like that."

I was excited at the thought of finally getting away from my father, both of us. No more bruises, no more fights. No more constant yelling every night. No more slammed doors. It was almost too much to hope for. But it was really happening. At the same time, though, I found that I couldn't help feeling a little sad. As good as I knew it would be for my mom and I, it was still our family breaking apart. I wished things could have been different, that my father had been different. And I knew that Mom felt the same way.

"Then I'll be there," I said. "That's a promise."

She took me in her arms. "I love you. You know that, don't you?"

I did. "Love you too, Mom."

We were just letting go of each other when the door suddenly burst open. I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound, and again when my father stormed in. His bearded face was a thundercloud, and his hands were clenched into fists. I shivered but straightened and didn't cower. I was done with that, had been a long time ago.

"Amanda!" he barked. "I told you to stay out of my office!"

"What are you talking about?" she said.

He jabbed a finger at her. "Don't play dumb with me, woman! You think I don't know what goes on in my own home!? That housekeeper of yours knew you went in there yesterday. I made her tell me all about it this afternoon after I found the door unlocked."

"What did you do to her?" I demanded. "You hurt her, didn't you?"

"She'll live. You stay out of it, girl!"

I stared at him, angry and horrified. "You _bastard!_ How could you do that to Nan!? She's just an old woman!"

Before I knew it, I was tumbling to the floor, smashing the back of my hip against the corner of Mom's desk as pain blazed across my face. I tasted blood on my lips as I looked at my father, stunned at what he'd just done. I couldn't believe it. He had never hit me before. I had never thought he would. But he had. And as I sat there on the floor, bleeding from the corner of my mouth, I felt the last, tiny bit of connection that I'd had with him die. Seeing him there, with not a shred of remorse for what he'd done, showed me the truth of who he was. And I felt the faint hope I'd had that he might change die as well.

"_Richard!"_ Mom shrieked, kneeling next to me and glaring at him. _"How could you!?"_

He snorted. "She's mouthed off to me one too many times!"

"If you have to hit someone, hit me!" she snarled. "But leave Jessica out of it! She's your daughter!"

"Enough about her! Why were you snooping around in my office?"

"That's all you care about!?" Mom's eyes blazed.

As she helped me stand up, I saw Nan in the doorway and gasped. Her left arm was in a cast, broken by my father no doubt. When Mom saw her, she glared at my father, but he just snorted and ignored her as he stood there fuming. Mom sighed, then turned me to face her as she looked at where I'd been hit.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

It hurt, but I could live with it. "I'll be fine."

She brought me to Nan. "Celeste, take Jessica and get her fixed up. I'll join you as soon as I can."

"Of course, ma'am," Nan said. "Please be careful."

"Mom?" My eyes were locked on her as I stepped into the hall.

She gazed fondly at me as she slid her long, auburn hair—so much like mine—from her shoulder. "I'll be alright, Jessica. Your father and I have to talk. It… it's time I tell him."

"Tell me what?" he muttered. "Spit it out, woman."

Mom closed the office door as Nan gently pulled me away, but as I started to follow her, I heard my parents' voices rising again. I stopped to listen, worried about Mom, and thankfully Nan didn't bother trying to stop me. She shared my concern, so we both listened for a minute as Mom and my father started arguing again.

"I've had enough, Richard," Mom declared. "I'm leaving!"

My father's reply was immediate. _"__What!?_ You can't leave, woman! I own you! And don't you forget it!"

"_Watch me!_ I know what you've done, Richard."

"What do you mean?" he growled.

Mom didn't let up. "I know what you're responsible for, everything you've been involved in at Shinra. Every dark secret. And I can prove it all. I'm getting a divorce, Richard. Jessica and I are leaving. I'll be gone by this time tomorrow. If you don't want everyone in Midgar knowing what you've done, then leave us alone. The president won't allow you to tarnish the company's image. You'll be finished."

There was a long pause as I shared a glance with Nan. What was it my father had done? What secrets was Mom talking about? I wondered what exactly she had on him but wasn't sure I wanted to find out. But it was big enough that she could use it to blackmail him into letting us go and leaving us alone. No doubt about it.

"We'll see…" my father said.

"I'm heading over to Sector 7 in the morning," Mom went on. "And when I get back, I'll have the papers with me. Sign them and you won't hear from me ever again. Refuse, and there won't be enough left of you to make chocobo feed after President Shinra and the Turks are through with you. The choice is yours."

The doorknob turned, and Nan and I hurried down the hall before Mom or my father could see us. We went to the kitchen, where Nan got some ice out of the freezer while Theresa, plump and kind, brought me a clean cloth, sat me down in a chair, and wiped the blood off my face. Nan then wrapped the ice in the cloth and pressed it against the side of my mouth where my father had hit me. Although I could have done all this myself, the ladies were so used to looking after me and had done it for so long that it was basically second nature. And I was still a little in shock both at what I'd heard and at the fact that my father had actually struck me. So I just sat there and let my friends take care of me the way they always had until Mom showed up.

Nan held the cloth on me for a moment. "Is that better?"

"Yeah," I managed. "Thank you."

Mom knelt in front of me. "I'm so sorry, Jessica. He had no right to do that. Maybe if I'd left sooner…"

I leaned forward. "It's not your fault, Mom."

"Well, we're getting out of here soon, I promise. Tomorrow if I can arrange it. I won't let this happen again."

"I know," I said.

She looked at Nan. "Celeste, what happened today?"

"I was just here in the kitchen going over the plans for dinner with Theresa when Richard stomped in, threw her out, and demanded I tell him if you had been in his office. I refused and said that you hadn't. Of course, he didn't believe me. He said the door was unlocked, and I told him he must have left it that way himself. That was when he seized my arm and began to twist it. The pain, ma'am… it was just too much. I'm so sorry… I know you asked me to keep what you were doing a secret. But when my arm broke, I just…"

"Don't apologize, Celeste," Mom stood up. "If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. I shouldn't have put you in that position in the first place. I never wanted you to be hurt."

Nan nodded. "Thank you, ma'am."

Mom hugged her gently, then let go. "Would you go find Charlotte and have her help Jessica pack?"

"Yes, right away. I won't be long."

I smiled and took the ice-filled cloth from her as she patted me on the shoulder, and then she left. Charlotte was the maid and was around my age, so we had always gotten along pretty well. I stood up, knowing Mom was right and that I should start getting my things together, but I didn't leave at first. It was still a little unreal, the thought that Mom and I were finally moving out. Her understanding smile, though, reassured me. I think she felt the same way.

Mom touched the side of my face for a moment, gazed at me, then drew me into hug. We stood there together for a moment, neither of us having any idea then of what was to come, only that something we had both wanted for so long was finally about to happen. After letting go of me, Mom motioned to the doorway.

"Go on and get packed, alright?" she said.

I put the cloth down on the table now that my mouth was starting to feel better. "Alright. Big day tomorrow, huh?"

Mom laughed nervously. "Oh, yes. Be sure to get some sleep."

"You too, Mom," I replied.

"I will, Jessica," she promised. "I will."

* * *

We arrived at the Sector 5 train station early in the morning. It was pretty busy, with people bustling everywhere around us on and around the platform. But I didn't mind. I found the liveliness refreshing, and it was exciting, taking this first step toward our new life. Mom stood next to me, her purse hanging from one shoulder and her briefcase grasped loosely in her hand. She was wearing one of those elegant pantsuits she liked, and she'd fastened her hair into a high ponytail. I'd thought about wearing it like that before but had never really gotten around to it. Just liked the feel of my hair on my shoulders, I guess.

"There you are!" a familiar voice called from behind us.

I smiled when I saw the owner. "Reeve!"

There he was, walking up to us, and Mom went to him right away, her eyes lighting up. "I'm so glad you could make it!"

She put down her briefcase and slid into his arms for a moment or two, then stepped away. I took her place for a second, glad he was here with us, then let go. He didn't have his overcoat on today. Just his slacks and white button-down shirt. His plain black tie still hung as neatly as ever, though, despite his pulled-up sleeves.

"Casual today, aren't we?" I laughed.

He grinned. "It's my day off. And as for how I knew the two of you were here, your mother can explain that."

"Mom?" I turned to her.

"I messaged him this morning before we left," she said. "Thought I might surprise you, Jessica. And…"

I blinked. "And what?"

She shook her head, suddenly embarrassed. "I-It's nothing! Really! I think they'll be boarding soon, won't they?"

Reeve looked as confused as I felt. "Yes, I believe so…"

"Alright. I suppose it's that time, then."

She was right, I saw. The line had begun to form by the train's main passenger door, which was open at the moment. We walked over there, taking our time, Mom with her things in hand while Reeve and I stood on either side of her. She was only going to be gone for a few hours, but I suddenly felt an anxiety about it that I couldn't understand, much less explain. My father had been strangely quiet this morning, what little I'd seen of him, and I didn't like it. He had left for work before Mom and I had come here with barely a word to anyone.

I shook off my thoughts as the line moved along. "What time is the train due back, Mom?"

"About 2:00pm. I'll let you know when I'm on my way."

"Okay," I replied. "Good luck!"

Soon enough, it was Mom's turn to board. We stood near the door as she got her ticket checked. It didn't take too long for the attendant to scan it, and when it was done, Mom turned to Reeve and I for a minute before climbing on board. She put down her things again and gave him another quick hug.

"Thank you for coming, Reeve," she said. "I appreciate it."

He smiled as he let go of her. "You're welcome, Amanda. Anytime. You'll let me know how it goes?"

Mom nodded. "Of course. See you soon."

Then she wrapped me in a tight embrace, and I returned it happily. "Bye, Mom. Be careful, okay?"

"I will," she promised as she let go. "And I love you."

"Love you, too," I said.

Then Mom let go, giving me a playful smack on the arm while she picked up her things. "Try cleaning your room while I'm gone, Jessica. It's still a mess in there, you know."

"Ha, ha! We're moving anyway, right?" I chuckled.

"Yes, but you could at least do it once before we go. Might give me _some_ hope for our new home."

We all shared a laugh at that, and I shrugged. "I guess I can try."

Mom smirked as she turned to go. "Well, that's something, at least. As for me, I'd better get going."

After exchanging goodbyes with us, Mom began entering the train. But when she got to the doorway at the top of the little staircase next to the passenger door, she looked back at us, smiled, and waved. I did the same, waving back. So did Reeve, and as I glanced at him for a minute, I noticed that his eyes lingered on her as hers stayed on him. What did it mean? I wasn't sure, but I didn't really mind, either. They'd grown up together and were close friends, after all.

I let my own eyes slide back to Mom as I continued to wave at her, and she looked back at me again before going inside the train. Then, a moment later, she was gone, disappearing into the passenger car. Reeve and I stood there together on the platform as the main door closed and the train began to pull out with a hiss of steam. As it got moving, I saw Mom in one of the windows. I waved again, and she waved back with a little smile at both of us. Then the train began heading down the track and out of the station on its way to Sector 7.

But it never got there.

Reeve and I were just stepping off the platform when we suddenly heard a loud rumbling behind us along with the screeching of brakes. I whirled around, my eyes wide, as something like thunder split the air, a terrible sound I knew all too well from my time doing weapons testing with Scarlet. Just seconds later, huge plumes of fire shot down the track as the train skewed off the rails and exploded, one car after another, in a horribly destructive chain reaction.

I screamed as shrapnel flew everywhere. _"__MOM!"_

Panic erupted all around us as people shrieked, falling all over each other to try and escape. But the track had become a firestorm. My face was streaked with tears, both from the smoke and from the thought of my mom being in the middle of that disaster. Shards of metal and glass filled the air as the inferno blazed onto the platform. I started running toward it, not caring about the heat and the flames, the smoke and the debris. Rational thought was gone from my mind. All that mattered to me was Mom. I had just reached the guardrail near the edge when I felt someone tugging on my arm. It was Reeve.

I fought him like a woman gone mad. _"__Let go of me! Let me GO!"_

"Jessica!" he yelled, trying to pull me away. "It's too late!"

But I didn't care. I tore myself free and raced toward the track. This couldn't be happening! It couldn't! People were wounded and dying all around me, secondary blasts still ripping along the track down here to the station from where the train had derailed barely two hundred yards away. It was a burning wreck now, what I could see of it from what was left of the boarding area, and I felt my knees turn to rubber. I staggered away from the awful sight, so numb I barely even registered the station blowing apart around me. I just didn't give a damn.

Then Reeve was there. He grabbed me, wrapping his arms around my waist and shoulders and dragging me back off the platform. I didn't fight him this time, though, and when he finally let go, I ran after him, not thinking, just doing. The explosions reached a crescendo behind us as we neared the exit, and we were almost to the doors when suddenly I cried out in pain as a twisted piece of scorched metal struck the back of my head and debris flew all around us. Then I fell, Reeve's panicked face the last thing I saw before I lost consciousness.

* * *

When I came to, I was in a hospital bed.

The steady beeping of a cardiac monitor filled my ears as I opened my eyes. A plastic nasal cannula had been fitted to my nose, and I was wearing only a plain hospital gown under the blanket and sheets. But I wasn't alone. Reeve straightened up immediately as soon as he saw that I was awake. He was sitting in a chair by the bed, and on the other side was Nan, who looked as if she'd aged ten years in only a few hours. As I looked around, I noticed Cait was there, too. He was sitting in the chair next to Reeve, more downcast than I'd ever seen him.

"Jessica, you're awake!" Reeve sighed in relief. "We were so worried about you. How are you feeling?"

My voice sounded hoarse and ragged in my ears when I answered. I didn't even recognize it. "My head hurts, and my lungs feel so dry. My face and arms sting a bit, too."

He nodded. "I'm not surprised. You inhaled a lot of smoke back at the station, and you ended up with some nasty burns. Nothing that the doctors here can't handle, though."

"Mom?" I asked, though I already knew.

Reeve sighed. "She's dead, Jessica. Along with a lot of other people. There was nothing anyone could do…"

Slowly, I sat up, careful of the IV in my right arm as Reeve pressed the control to incline the bed for me. I didn't say anything at first. I felt like if I did, if I gave in to the grief and pain swirling around inside me, it would make the fact of Mom's death irrevocably real. So I just leaned back, not really seeing anything, and it wasn't until Cait hopped lightly up onto the bed and walked up to me that I felt my resolve begin to fall apart. His ears drooped as he looked at me.

"Lassie…" he murmured.

It was just one word, but it broke me. The tears burst from my eyes like a pair of waterfalls as I scooped Cait into my arms and sobbed into his soft, dark fur. He held onto me, not saying a word as I cried on and on, letting it all out as Nan gently laid the hand of her good arm on the back of my shoulder. I don't know how long it went on for, and I didn't care. All I knew was that my mom was dead.

As I wept, I felt a knot of rage burning in my gut, and the more the tears flowed, the angrier I became, until finally I let go of Cait Sith and looked at Reeve, my fingers tightening into fists. Mom and I, we'd been about to finally break free of my father's iron grip, and now… now she was gone, all our hopes shattered like glass. I wanted to hit something, anything. But there was nothing.

I squeezed the bed rail instead. "How did this happen?"

"It's still under investigation," Reeve said, "but preliminary reports say it was catastrophic engine failure."

"Bullshit!" I spat. "There's no way. I'm sure of it!"

Nan flinched. "Jessica!?"

I looked first at her, then Reeve. "In all the time the trains have run through Midgar, there's never been an accident like this. The explosion just about destroyed the station along with the train itself. You call that an engine malfunction? Not a chance in hell!"

"You think Shinra's lying," Reeve replied. It wasn't a question.

"Damn right I do! And I'm going to find out why! I don't care what I have to do, or where it takes me. I'm going to get to the bottom of this if it's the last thing I do! My mom, she… she's dead, Reeve. Along with so many others. I have to find out what really happened over there and who's responsible. I… I need to. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't. So don't try to stop me, any of you."

Reeve managed a rueful smile. "I don't think we could."

"Thank you," I said. "For understanding. And for saving my life. If you hadn't been there, I might've been killed, too."

"You're welcome, Jessica. I'm just glad that I was."

Then I saw a bandage on the side of his forehead. "You're hurt!"

He reached up to touch it for a moment before letting his hand fall back into his lap. "It's just a scrape. Nothing serious."

"Was it… because of me? Because I was fighting you?"

"It doesn't matter," he answered.

But it did, at least to me. "Reeve, I'm so sorry. You were only trying to help. I should've listened to you."

"It wasn't your fault, Jessica," he explained. "I got clipped by a piece of debris on the way out. You didn't do anything wrong."

"But if I'd listened to you…"

He shook his head. "It might still have happened. You're much too hard on yourself. Just like your mother. You tend to blame yourself for things you couldn't possibly be responsible for."

I knew he was right. "I guess so…"

"It's only because you care so much," he went on, holding my hand. "Nothing wrong with that."

"Thanks," I smiled weakly.

My eyes were still red, wet, and puffy, and I knew I hadn't done the last of my crying. Not by a long shot. But for now, anyway, I was able to keep a measure of composure. Anger still simmered within me as well, but I didn't try to push it away. I realized I could use it, focus it on what I had to do. I rubbed my eyes, the writing on the board hanging on the wall across the room barely more than blur without my glasses. I could hardly make it out. It was probably just my treatment plan, of course. I just couldn't see it from here.

Nan noticed me squinting. "Here you are, Jessica."

She handed me my glasses, and I slid them on, sighing in relief as I noticed everything getting sharper and clearer. I'd been nearsighted for as long as I could remember. Things that were closer to me, I could see fine, but anything at a distance tended to be just a muddled blur. I only took my glasses off to sleep, normally, and I was glad I hadn't lost them in the explosion today. Kinda silly for me to worry about them, I guess, but thinking about them meant that, at least for a little while, my mind wasn't on Mom. If I thought about her too much, I knew that I'd break down again. I just couldn't help it.

"Any idea how long I'll be here?" I wondered.

Nan gently pushed a few strands of hair from my face. "The doctor said a week, maybe two."

I wasn't surprised. "You'll stay with me?"

"As much as we can," Reeve promised. "I've also told Garrett about what's happened, so you don't have to worry about work. He'll keep an eye on the division while you're gone. Just concentrate on getting well, Jessica. And on your mother. There's no rush."

"I appreciate it," I said, the tears building again.

I would do what Reeve had said and work on my recovery. I didn't have a choice. In the midst of my grief and loss, there were questions I was determined to find the answers for, the truth behind Mom's death. Like I had told the others, I didn't care what it took. And I was going to get started just as soon as I got out of here. I would find out what really happened today, no matter what.

I had to. For my sake, and for hers.


	9. EIGHT

**EIGHT**

Just over a month after the train wreck and Mom's death, I slipped quietly into her office. I'd been back home for almost two weeks, seeing to Mom's funeral arrangements and the like after spending at least that long in the hospital. But it didn't feel like home anymore. It wasn't, not with Mom gone. I was still trying to sort through all her things, decide what to keep and what to give away. When I could manage it, that was. Sometimes the grief was just too much, and all I could do was sit there as the tears came again and again.

Today had been one of my better days, so I decided it was time for me to get off my ass and start digging into what happened. I'd had Cait sneak into the wreckage of the station for me to see what he could find while I was still laid up in the hospital. I had known that time had been of the essence since Shinra was surely going to do everything that they could to cover up the fact that the train wreck hadn't been an accident. And that included removing or altering any possible evidence proving it wasn't. Fortunately, Cait had gotten there first.

What he'd found had confirmed my suspicions. Charred fragments of wiring and explosive material in the wreckage and debris along with traces of blasting agent. I'd worked under Scarlet long enough to know the components of a bomb when I saw them, and the pictures Cait had shown me had been clear as day. This had been no freak accident. Not a chance. It was sabotage, no doubt about it.

Everything Cait had collected from the site of the train wreck—the remains of the bomb along with visuals of the blast patterns and where it must've originated from near the tracks—had been safely stored in a secure vault at the Shinra Building that only Reeve and I had access to. Until we could have everything analyzed by someone we could trust, it was too risky to let anyone else know about it.

I sat in Mom's chair and turned on her computer, hoping I'd find a clue on there about what had happened and what she had known. This was the first time I'd been in her office since her death, although I tried not to think about it. But it was always there in the back of my mind. I missed her so much. I still do.

She'd had her phone with her when she died, of course. It had been destroyed when the train had derailed. So there was no way I could use it to find the answers I was looking for. So that left her computer. Mom had always kept a lot of stuff on it from her work as head of Shinra's PR Division, but I hoped she had also made a backup of whatever files she had been taking to Sector 7 to get checked.

Scouring through her email, I froze when I spotted a message she'd received day of the Reactor 3 massacre. The timestamp read 9:47am. It had been sent less than an hour after the incident. I checked to see who the sender was, and my eyes widened when I saw the address. I read it again to make sure I wasn't seeing things:

_aburrows429 _

Aria Burrows! The reporter from the Shinra Information Network News. The one who had told me the truth about the massacre and had been killed in a truck accident on her way back to the news station. But just before that, she had sent someone a copy of the unaltered security footage she'd obtained. I had never known who it was until now. And I could still hardly believe it. Mom was the one she'd sent it to! But why? I leaned forward and read the message to find out:

_Amanda,_

_I don't have much time, so I'll get right to it. I've been monitoring the video feed from Reactor 3's security cameras like you asked me to. I think I understand now why you wanted me to do it. Something horrible's just happened there, and I've got it all recorded and stored on a secure server. You can access it with the code we agreed on earlier. Looks like you were right. You must've known something like this would happen._

_Luckily for us, I know people who can hack into the reactor's security systems for me. I just hope that you and I can find a way to get the truth out there before Shinra comes down on us. I'll keep in touch, but I've got to go. I'll call you once I get back to the station, though.__Be careful, okay? The server address is included just below this message. So get the footage checked as soon as you can. And stay safe._

_Your friend,  
__Aria_

For a moment I just sat there, stunned at what I'd just read. I went over it again, taking in every word. Mom had known Aria. They'd been friends. For how long, I didn't know, but I figured it had to have been a while for them to go in together on something like this. Why had Mom been expecting something like the massacre to happen, and why there? What else had she known?

I realized that as head of the PR Division, Mom must've had access to some of Shinra's classified information, though I doubted now that it was even half what what the company so carefully kept secret. Because of her job, she'd often had to oversee Shinra's responses to any inquiries made by journalists and the media except when the president or one of the executive directors issued a statement of their own.

The server address was listed right below Aria's message just as she had said it would be. I didn't know what the password was, but maybe I could find something in Mom's desk. I looked through the drawers, but besides the usual clutter of pens, papers, file folders, a small calculator, and other office supplies, there was no sign of the code.

Oddly, though, there was a drawer I couldn't get into. It was locked up tight, and although I searched through the rest of Mom's desk again, I couldn't find a key anywhere. What could she have in there that she'd keep secure so no one else could get at it? Mom must've had the key on her when she'd boarded the train, I was sure of it. She always kept all of her other keys with her whenever she left the house. That one was lost, but maybe she'd kept a backup somewhere.

With a sigh, I went back to Mom's computer and scanned the other messages, hoping I might find something else that might help. Most of them didn't have anything of use, but then I came to another one, sent a month before the Reactor 3 incident. This message was from Mom to Aria—it was in her outbox—and it chilled me to the bone:

_Aria,_

_I'd like you to start monitoring the security cameras at Reactor 3 and find a way to capture footage from them if necessary. I've found out that my husband had Scarlet send him the schematics for the roboguards that normally guard the facility. He intends to have them reprogrammed and adjusted so they can be activated remotely. I don't know why yet, but I'm afraid he's planning something terrible._

_I'm sure Jessica doesn't know, however.__She's very proud of her work, in being able to create things that can help protect people and keep them safe. I've always believed that her working for Scarlet was a mistake, but I didn't want to keep Jessica from her dreams, either. She'd be devastated if she knew her designs were being used to hurt others. Reeve is doing the best he can to look out for her, but she's in a difficult position. I just wish I knew how to help her._

_But in any case, we need to be ready. I hope we can prevent whatever it is Richard's planning, but if we can't, we need to have a record of what really went on. You know as well as I do that Shinra will do everything it can to cover up any incidents that would expose the company for what it really is. We can't let that happen. You have to find a way to get access to the security cameras in Reactor 3. Whatever Richard is setting in motion is bound to happen very soon, I'm certain of it. So please hurry, Aria. We don't have a lot of time._

_Your friend,  
__Amanda_

I wasn't as surprised as I thought I'd be. Somehow, I had known my father had to have played some part in all this. And I remembered now how Scarlet had asked me to send him those schematics that day. I had done it without even thinking about what might come of it. How could I have been such an idiot? Anger burned within me, both at him and at myself for letting him and Scarlet trick me the way they had. My hands clenched into fists, and I squeezed my eyes shut for a minute, unable to deny the rage and guilt swirling around inside me.

So, my father was the one responsible for the Reactor 3 massacre. I hated it and shuddered as the words went through my mind. Mom had to have found out the last time she had searched his office. That had to have been what she'd been telling me about, the leverage she'd had over him. But where was the rest of the evidence? The camera footage alone wouldn't have been enough. There had to be something else. Hopefully it hadn't been destroyed in the train wreck.

A soft knock on the door brought me out of my thoughts, and then the door opened. I braced myself, but it was only Nan. I relaxed and let out a long, shaky breath as she walked over to me. I'd been afraid that it might've been my father, home early from work. He hadn't taken a day off since Mom died. Not the least show of grief. And I hated him for it. I was due back tomorrow, but now I wasn't sure how much I wanted to be there anymore, especially considering what I'd just discovered. I had to go, though. There were things I still needed to check, answers that I could only find in Scarlet's office as well as my father's.

"Hello, Jessica," Nan said. "I thought I might find you here."

I managed a weak smile. "Yeah. Just… looking for answers. To find out what really happened. What Mom knew."

Nan nodded. "Of course. And I have something that might help. It was hers, but I think she'd want you to have it now."

"What is it?" I wondered.

She reached into her pocket, her once-broken arm now well on the mend, and pulled out a small metal object. My eyes widened when she held it out to me. It was a key! I took it and stared at it for a moment as it lay in my palm. Mom had kept a backup after all. It would open that locked drawer in her desk, I was sure of it.

Nan's answer was simple enough. "Your mother gave that to me for safekeeping a long time ago. She wanted to be sure that if anything ever happened to her, what she knew wouldn't be lost."

"Thank you," I breathed.

Not wasting a moment, I slid the key into the lock on the drawer. It turned easily, and I pulled the drawer open, my heart pounding. Inside was only one thing. A book. A thick, leatherbound diary. I picked it up and skimmed through it, seeing my mom's curving script on the pages. And the code for the secure server Aria had mentioned was right there on the inside of the back cover.

Sitting down again, I pulled up the server on Mom's computer and entered the password. And sure enough, the camera footage was there. But that wasn't all. Mom must've found a way to get hold of my father's phone somehow without him knowing about it, because along with the recordings were several log files showing transmissions from his phone to the mechs in Reactor 3. Most were just tests, but when I opened the last one, I shivered, my fears confirmed.

It was the activation signal for the mechs, to switch them over and send them after the protesters. The time and date were a perfect match, and it fit exactly with the transmission I'd found in the Shinra security office. There was no doubt about it now. The logs were clear, cold, and undeniable. My father had killed those people. And… he had used my designs, my enhancements to the mechs, to do it. He had altered them, used my work for murder and death.

I gripped the desk with hands that weren't quite steady and fought to stay calm. Rage and heartache were all I knew. I took my right hand, clenched it into a fist again, and slammed the bottom of it into the top of the desk even as tears leaked from my eyes. I made some kind of soft noise in my throat that might've been a gasp or a growl or both. I guess it didn't really matter. Reeve would've told me this wasn't my fault, but I couldn't bring myself to believe that. _My _weapons and work had been used to kill those people. Mine.

And then I thought of Scarlet. If my she and my father had altered these few mechs, it was a good bet that they'd done the same thing with the rest of my work. I almost didn't want to know, but I had to find out. And I would, first thing tomorrow. Whether she was there or not. I just didn't care anymore. This had gone far enough.

"Jessica?" Nan asked, looking at me with concern.

I took a deep breath to calm myself. "It's alright, Nan. I just… need to be alone for a while."

She nodded. "Of course. Let me know if you need anything."

After she left, I sat back in the chair and slowly let my fingers relax. I couldn't change what had happened, as much as I wanted to. So I just sighed bitterly and backed up everything I'd found onto my flash drive. There wasn't much else I could do for now. When I was finished, I put the drive away, shut down the computer, took Mom's diary, and went to my room to start reading.

* * *

"Just what do you think you're doing in my office!?"

I whipped my head up to see Scarlet storming in, shoving her way right past the soldier who'd been watching the door for me. In the time I'd been working here, I had formed an odd sort of friendship with him and the other soldiers that she bullied and used as footstools. I'd hated having to use them like that as well, but Scarlet often watched to make sure I did exactly as she had ordered, and I couldn't risk setting her off and being fired before I could find the answers I needed. I didn't have a choice but to be here, at least until now.

The soldiers, though, they never complained. The first time Scarlet had left me in charge, when she had gone to Corel last year, I had tried to avoid engaging in Scarlet's twisted little game, but one of the soldiers had quickly taken me aside after seeing my hesitation. He had told me that he and the others understood and that they didn't blame me. They knew I didn't care for it any more than they did and that Scarlet would rip me a new one if I didn't do it.

The soldier and his friends, those guys, they had done the sweetest thing for me that day. He'd said that they'd rather have Scarlet tear into them than let her go after me for disobeying her, and if that meant they had to act as my footstool while she was gone, then they didn't mind. I had just stood there for a moment, grateful and quite overcome, as the soldier had gone over to Scarlet's chair and bent over, assuring me that it was alright and not to worry. I had been so touched by their concern for me and their thoughtfulness that I hadn't known what to say. I had thanked him—after I had found my voice, that was—and had sat down in that chair and reluctantly done as Scarlet had told me, though I was much gentler about it than she was.

Bringing my thoughts back to the present, I straightened and stood tall, my blood blazing with fury. I'd gotten into her computer while she had been at a meeting upstairs, and using the passwords I'd stolen from her, I'd been able to search through her files and confirm my fears and suspicions. Scarlet had definitely modified my designs behind my back and had turned them into tools of death and destruction. The casualty reports alone made me want to throw up.

The hell house, for example, had been deployed down in the slums like we had agreed on when I had designed it, but what I hadn't known until now was that its targeting sensors had been reprogrammed to key in on human lifesigns instead of monstrous ones. And according to the reports, hundreds of people had been hurt and killed by those things. I wished I had never made it, and guilt ate at me for all the pain that my work had caused to so many people.

Nearly every mech and weapon I had designed and developed here had been tampered with and altered to suit Scarlet's destructive, deadly agenda. And I had made dozens of projects in my time in the division, such as the hell house, moth slasher, sword dance, and more, as well as the weapon enhancements I'd developed for the grunts and soldiers in the Peace Preservation Division.

I stared at Scarlet without flinching. "I know what you did."

"And what would that be?" she narrowed her eyes.

"You lied to me, Scarlet! I shouldn't have trusted you! You took my work, my designs, and changed them behind my back, made them into killing machines! You used me!"

Scarlet sneered. "Don't take it personal, dear. I do it to everyone."

I wasn't finished yet, though. "And I know exactly what you did in Corel, too. I saw it all in your messages to my father! Those troops that were deployed never did any weapons testing. That was just another lie you told me. They destroyed that town, and _you_ ordered them to do it! With the weapons _I_ made for them! The blood of all those people is as much on my hands as it is yours!"

"Shinra's enemies must be put down," she pointed at me. "You'd do well to remember that, Jessica."

"Like hell they do! I've read the reports, Scarlet. They were miners, not terrorists. They didn't want to lose their way of life. But you… you went and butchered them anyway! Right after guaranteeing their safety and livelihood. You lied to them just like you lied to me!"

Scarlet slammed her hands on the desk. "Do you remember what I told you the day I hired you? If you want to get anywhere in this world, you can't be afraid to step on those around you. Did you really think it didn't include you as well? I used you because I knew I could. You have a rare gift, one I was eager to take advantage of."

I was practically quivering with rage now, my fists so tight that my nails dug into my palms. "So _that's_ why my father wanted me here, isn't it? He was using me, too. That bastard!"

"Whining about it won't get you anywhere," she snapped. "So pull yourself together and get back to work!"

"No!" I shook my head. "Not anymore! I quit!"

Scarlet stared at me. "You think you can just walk out of here?"

I hurried past her toward the door. "Find someone else to do your dirty work! Because I'm out!"

Before she could say anything else, I burst out of her office and ran over to my drafting table. There was one other thing I had to do before leaving this hellhole. I grabbed my binder, my eyes almost blinded now by angry tears, and ripped it apart page by page, snarling and crying as I tore the papers and my designs to shreds until nothing was left. Then I tossed the broken cover on the floor and got up to leave. My dreams, they'd been twisted and warped into something horrible and cruel, and people were dead because of it. Because of me.

On the way out, I passed that damn chair, and on impulse, I kicked it over. Scarlet was livid as she came out of her office, but I didn't care. I was through being her puppet and plaything. She stormed toward me, her eyes blazing, but I just headed toward the elevators, determined to get out of here as soon as I could

"Don't let her leave!" she told the soldiers. "She's a security risk!"

I froze and glanced over my shoulder, but they didn't move. Scarlet caught up to me in that moment and seized my arm, her grip like iron. I didn't know what she had in mind for me, but I didn't want to stay to find out, either. And there was something else, something she deserved after all she had put me through. I yanked my arm free, glared fiercely at her, and slapped her across the face. Hard.

"You've had that coming for a long time, bitch!" I spat.

"Arrest her!" Scarlet ordered the soldiers, staggering back, her face red with fury. "Take this obnoxious little shit into custody! Now! Shoot her if you have to!"

But they didn't. One of them looked at me. "Run! Hurry!"

"Idiots!" Scarlet fumed. "I'll do it myself!"

I turned and ran, ignoring the elevator now and going for the door to the emergency stairwell instead. The sounds of a scuffle erupted just behind me, and I took a quick glance over my shoulder for a second to see Scarlet punching the nearest soldier and grabbing his gun. The rest of them tried to get in her way, but she shoved them aside like paper as she waved her weapon around before fixing it on me. My heart racing, I sped toward the door as fast as I could.

I yanked it open and dove through as gunshots erupted behind me one after the other, nearly deafening me as I tumbled into the stairwell. Then I gasped, wincing in pain as I felt something sting the side of my right arm near my shoulder before the door slammed shut behind me. Not waiting another second, I raced up the stairs, taking them two at a time as I held my arm with my other hand.

I kept going until I reached the 63rd floor. Materials storage. It was a place I could be alone to gather my thoughts before deciding what to do next. As I went to one of the storage rooms and sat down amidst all the crates and boxes, I let go of my arm for a moment, thinking to take out the transmitter Cait had given me so long go. But then I saw blood on my hand and stared in disbelief.

It was on my arm, too. I sighed, pulled out the transmitter, and hit the left button to have Cait come see me. I'd have talked to him, but my arm was hurting too much for me to concentrate on anything else. So I just sighed and leaned back to wait for him, knowing it wouldn't be too long before he showed up. In the meantime, I put the transmitter away and took hold of my arm again.

It looked like one of the bullets had gone right through it. Scarlet's aim had been pretty good. I managed a weak laugh as I thought of how much I must've pissed her off for her to have shot me. I'd left her a little surprise of my own, though. While I'd still been digging around on her computer, I had discovered schematics for a new superweapon she was developing, some huge robotic thing that she and my father were going to operate themselves. Proud Clad, it was called.

Knowing them, I was sure it would be used to hurt and kill a lot of innocent people, and I wasn't going to let that happen. And I'd also felt that turnabout was fair play. It was my turn to alter Scarlet's design. So I'd added a subtle weakness to the weapon, a hidden vulnerability that, when activated, would trigger an overload in the Proud Clad's systems and destroy it. I still had to develop a special device in order to do that, but I was sure I could pull it off. An explosive capable of triggering the backdoor I'd inserted into Scarlet's pet project.

"Hello, lassie!" Cait ambled in a few minutes later. "I got yer call. Is everything alri—w-what happened!?"

I grimaced as he stared at my arm. "I quit working for Scarlet."

"She did that to ye?" he blinked.

"Yeah. I made her pretty mad, Cait. But I don't care. I'm not letting her use me anymore."

He nodded. "That's good tae hear. Now, c'mon, lass. We need to get ye fixed up on the double. Let's go doun tae Reeve's office. We can take the stairs so nobody sees ye."

"I'll go," I said, "But I need you to do something for me."

"Ahn what's that?" Cait asked.

Slowly, I stood up, a little dizzy but determined to finish what I had started. "My father's phone. It's the last piece of the puzzle. Go upstairs, sneak into his office, and get it for me. Can you do that?"

He grinned. "Aye, lass! Just leave it tae mae!"

"Good. And let Reeve know I'm coming, alright?"

"Will do," Cait promised. "Take care of yerself, ye hear? I'll be doun there as soon as I can, Jessica."

Gritting my teeth against the pain, I left the storage room, making my way back to the emergency stairwell. Cait waved goodbye before he slipped out of sight into a ventilation duct on the way. I tilted my head in acknowledgment, not wanting to let go of my arm unless I had to, as he left. Then I went through the door and headed down the stairs, one by one now, as I struggled to make my way to the 57th floor and Reeve's office. Six flights of stairs, but going down was at least a bit easier than going up had been. Even so, I had to stop a few times to get my balance and catch my breath. How much blood had I lost?

It was over halfway down my sleeve now, staining my blouse red as I finally stumbled through another door and onto the 57th floor. Reeve was there in the waiting area, hurrying across the blue carpet when he saw me, his eyes wide. I walked over to him, my steps more than a little unsteady, and probably would've fallen if he hadn't caught me and held me up with one arm lightly around my shoulder.

"Jessica!" he breathed. "Cait told me you were coming and that you needed help but… not this. What's going on? What happened?"

I leaned against him. "Scarlet…"

He sighed. "Damn! I should've known. You can tell me all about it later. Right now, we've got to get you taken care of."

"Reeve… I found out… about Reactor 3," I told him.

"I knew you would, Jessica," he said, leading me toward his office. Then he turned to the receptionist for a minute. "Janice, get one of the nurses up here! Now!"

She gasped and reached for the phone. "Yes, sir! Right away!"

I let Reeve take me into his office, where he helped me sit down in one of the large cushioned chairs opposite his desk before ducking into the executive washroom. He came back out only a moment later with a thick, soft towel in his hands along with a large cup full of water. Then he pulled off his jacket, tugged his sleeves up to his elbows, and turned his attention to my arm.

Reeve had me let go of it so he could check the wound. "Looks like it went all the way through, fortunately. So all we've got to worry about is stopping the bleeding. How are you feeling?"

I tried to concentrate. "A little light-headed. Hurts like hell. Guess I wasn't fast enough…"

"She shot you?" Reeve asked.

"Yeah…" I managed. "She… she was _really_ pissed."

He sighed. "You can't go back there."

I gave him a small smile. "Not planning on it. I quit, Reeve. After I found out about… Reactor 3 and… Corel. And how she took… all my work, my designs… and twisted them. Used them to kill and hurt… so many people. She's been… lying to me from the beginning. I should've listened to you and Mom, but I… I just wanted…"

"I know," Reeve said, getting the towel damp with the water before wrapping it snugly around my wounded arm. "You care very much for those around you, for others. It's a wonderful trait, but one that Scarlet clearly took advantage of. I'm sorry for what she did to you. Try not to blame yourself, though. It's not your fault."

"But it is, Reeve. I… I trusted her. I believed her."

He put a hand on my other shoulder. "Jessica, you didn't make the weapons for the same reasons she did. You never intended for them to be used the way they were. Whatever Scarlet did, that's on her, not you. Do you understand?"

I closed my eyes for a moment. "I guess so…"

I knew he was trying to help, but I couldn't shake my sense of guilt so easily. It would be with me for a long time, I knew. So much pain, so much death. All caused by me, my creations, my designs. It wasn't what I had ever wanted, but it's what happened. As I sat there thinking about it, Reeve went back to the washroom and brought me another towel so I could clean the blood off my hands.

Although it came off easily enough after he'd gotten the towel wet, I could still see it in my mind, and I wondered if it would ever really be gone. Only a few minutes later, the nurse finally arrived and took over. There were always a few in the building in case of an emergency. Reeve stayed by my side as she worked, though.

A little while later, my arm was neatly bandaged, though the nurse had to cut my sleeve off to do it. I didn't mind, though. She had treated and disinfected the wound before binding it up and cleaning it off, and I was beginning to feel a little better now. I grimaced when she handed me a small glass vial with a pale blue liquid inside. Healing potions are totally gross. It's funny but true.

I wrinkled my nose. "You sure I have to take this?"

Reeve chuckled. "Yes, Jessica. I know they're not the most pleasant thing, but it'll help your arm heal faster."

"I was afraid you'd say that," I sighed.

Bracing myself, I opened the vial and drank the hideous thing in a single long gulp before I could think twice about it. I barely kept myself from gagging as it went down. The stuff was like the worst cough syrup you can imagine, only not as thick. I'll never understand why medicine always has to taste so bad, healing potions especially.

Still, it did its job and took the edge off the pain. My arm still hurt, but not nearly as much now, and it tingled a little bit as the flesh began to slowly knit itself together. It would still be some time before my arm was fully healed, but I didn't think I'd have to wear a sling. I'd still have to be careful how much I moved it, though. I was sure it was gonna be pretty sensitive for a while.

Reeve gazed at it as I handed him the empty vial. "Better?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "A bit."

There was a light flutter nearby as Cait Sith emerged from a nearby air duct. Reeve saw him and sent the nurse away at once, and after she was gone, Cait hurried over to me, my father's phone in his hand. I was glad he'd succeeded, but at the same time, I was almost afraid to look at what was on there and confirm what I'd already begun to suspect in my heart, what I knew but didn't want to believe.

Swallowing heavily, I took the phone and switched it on.


	10. NINE

**NINE**

As I read through my father's messages, my grip on his phone grew so tight my knuckles whitened, and I had to fight the urge to throw the damn thing on the floor and shatter it. He had been behind it all. Him and Scarlet. Reactor 3, Corel, and so much more. They had both taken my work, my designs and my dreams, and used them to cause so much pain and death. But that wasn't the end of it.

When I came to one of the most recent messages he'd sent, I began to tremble as I read those hellish words. I shook my head, not wanting to believe what I was seeing. Tears spilled from my eyes even as flames of white-hot fury seared my blood. I gasped, trying to catch my breath as the horrible revelation slowly sank in and my other hand flew to my mouth. All I wanted to do was scream in denial at the words staring so coldly back at me on the screen:

_Tseng,_

_I have new orders for you. Tomorrow's 8:00am train from Sector 5 to Sector 7 is a problem. There's been a major security breach, one I intend to seal permanently. Leaks of our recent covert ops have been confirmed, and I have reason to believe the one responsible will be on the train. She intends to pass along her information and verify that it's authentic, but I will not allow that to happen._

_That train mustn't be allowed to reach Sector 7. Have your men set a series of explosives along the tracks near the Sector 5 station to create an unfortunate accident. The president has already approved the plan, so be sure to get it done. This will also free me from certain… liabilities… that have been bothering me for years. So make certain the explosion destroys the platform as well as the train itself. I've been waiting a long time to be free of those two, and now I finally will be._

_Have your men plant the bombs tonight. Then, when you're finished, bring me the detonator. I intend to do this myself. Scarlet has assured me that I'll be able to activate it from here, and she's already set up an uplink to the station's security cameras. I'll know exactly when it starts moving. And then, the fireworks will start. Now you have your orders, so I expect you to follow them to the letter._

_General Heidegger, Peace Preservation  
_

"That son of a bitch!" I snarled, trying to breathe.

My hand left my mouth and clenched so tightly into a fist that my nails dug into my palm. The pain, along with the dull throbbing in my arm where I'd been shot, barely registered compared to the ache in my heart. Not even thinking about what I was doing, I lifted the phone up over my head, my eyes almost blinded by tears, and nearly hurled it to the floor, wanting nothing more than the smash the goddamn thing to pieces the same way my life had just been shattered.

Reeve grabbed my arm. "Jessica! Don't!"

"He killed her, Reeve!" I sobbed, falling into his shoulder. "My own father! And he tried to kill me, too!"

For while, I just lay against him and wept, all the grief from Mom's loss flooding back in an instant. My life had been turned upside down, and I didn't have any idea what to do next. Rage and sadness were all I knew in that moment, a vicious maelstrom within me that felt ready to explode at any second. All I could think of was how hurt and betrayed I felt and how much I hated my father, both for what he'd done to Mom and also for what he had tried to do to me.

Reeve let go and handed me a box of tissues. "I'm so sorry, Jessica. I'd suspected he was involved, but… not like this."

"Thanks," I blew my nose. "Deep down, I knew it was him, but…"

"I know. You didn't want to believe it."

I nodded. "Right. But it _was_ him. He was behind it all."

As I thought about that, I knew I couldn't let what I'd found be lost. I had all the evidence I needed against him now, though I wasn't sure if we'd ever be able to use it. The court system in Midgar was notoriously sympathetic to Shinra, and I seriously doubted that any case Reeve and I brought to them would be handled fairly.

But what I knew, everything I had uncovered about my father and Scarlet, had to be kept safe, just in case. With luck, one day we'd be able to expose them both and reveal the truth to everyone. But until then, I had to make sure the evidence we had was protected and preserved. So after I dried my eyes, I straightened up, took my little flash drive out of my pocket, and plugged it into my father's phone with the adapter cord I always kept with it.

Then I got to work, copying all his messages onto the drive, all the ones that proved his responsibility for what he'd done to Mom, me, and so many others. It didn't take very long, but doing it gave me a sense of purpose and helped to calm my turbulent emotions. When I was done, I removed the drive and handed it to Reeve.

"Here," I said. "Take this. It's all the evidence against my father and Scarlet, everything I've found, everything that proves they were behind what happened in Corel, the Reactor 3 incident, and… the train wreck that killed Mom. It's all here, Reeve. Keep it safe."

He took the drive and gazed at it for a moment. "Of course."

Walking behind his desk, Reeve moved over to the back wall of his office and stood in front of a painting of Midgar in its early days when it had still been under construction. He ran his free hand along the top of the frame, and just a second later the painting swung aside to reveal the front of a metal safe fitted with a complex combination lock. It was fascinating and actually kinda cool.

"Never seen that before," I blinked.

He smiled. "It's one of my little secrets. No one else in the company knows about it."

I watched as he input the combination, turned the lock, and pulled open the safe. Stacks of papers and other assorted items were inside as Reeve carefully put the flash drive in there along with them. Once that was finished, he closed the safe, locked it, and moved the painting back into place in the middle of the wall.

"Cait," I turned to him. "Can you take my father's phone and put it back in his office? He might get suspicious if he can't find it, and I don't know if he's seen yet that it's not there."

He took it from my outstretched hand. "Aye, lassie. I'll have it back there in a jiffy! No worries!"

While he was gone, I sat back down in the chair and tried to think about what to do next. As I rubbed my bandaged arm, I mulled it over in my mind, going over all that had happened today and all I'd learned. It was obvious I couldn't be here anymore, and home wasn't going to be any safer. I doubted it would take long for my father to find out that I'd discovered the truth about what he'd done.

Cait came back barely ten minutes later. "All done. But Scarlet's got the whole building lookin' for ye, Jessica. She's mad as a hornet. I did a quick bit of snooping around while I was out, ahn I heard her tellin' yer father aboot yer little kerfuffle with her today."

"Shit!" I swore. "I shouldn't be surprised she's still at it. I had access to classified information as part of my job. She's probably afraid it'll get out. Especially her part in what went down in Corel."

"It's not safe for you here," Reeve added. "No doubt your father's on the lookout for you as well, and once he discovers that you know what he did, he won't stop until he finds you. I won't let that happen, Jessica. We have to get you out of here."

I stood up. "You're right, but… where do I go?"

He thought for a moment. "The emergency stairwell. It goes all the way down to the first floor. Think you can make it?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I can do that."

"Good. The stairs lead to a side entrance outside the building. Get down there just as soon as you can." Then he turned to Cait Sith. "Cait, go with her. Make sure she gets there, understand?"

"Aye! We'll make it, don't ye doubt!" Cait promised.

Reeve glanced back at me. "Good. While you're doing that, I'll take the elevator. Scarlet's probably alerted security downstairs, so they'll be looking for you to try and leave by the main entrance. That's why I told you to take the stairs instead."

"Won't they look there, too?" I asked.

"Not at first," he answered. "No one uses them unless they have to. And the idea that you'd go down almost sixty flights of stairs to get out of here probably hasn't even crossed Scarlet's mind yet."

He had a point. "I guess that's true. But what about your secretary? Can we trust her? I don't want to get you in trouble."

Reeve took my shoulder. "Yes. She won't say anything, Jessica. And I appreciate your concern for me. But I'll be alright, I promise. Now go. I'll meet you in the alley outside the stairwell."

"What then?" I wondered.

"I'll take you to my place for now," he said. "But that's only going to be a temporary arrangement. We'll talk more about it once we're there. But we're going to have to find a way to hide you. You know as well as I do that your father and Scarlet aren't going to stop looking for you just because you're not here anymore. You know too much."

I did, alright. "Understatement of the year. See you downstairs."

Reeve and I left his office together, and while he gave his secretary a few quiet instructions, I moved toward the door to the stairwell. Cait met me there, slipping out of a nearby air vent with a wink. It felt good to have him with me and to know I wouldn't have to go down all those stairs alone. It would've been a long and lonely descent. I really needed a friend right now, and both he and Reeve knew it.

"Shall we?" he beckoned, twitching his whiskers.

I opened the door. "Let's go."

* * *

It must've been almost twenty minutes later that Cait and I finally reached the first floor and stepped out into the alley. It had been a long trip, and I'd had to stop here and there to rest and catch my breath for a minute along the way, but we'd made it. Cait had kept encouraging me, talking and joking and keeping my mind engaged and away from what was going on around us and why.

At one point, he had climbed onto the railing and had tried to slide down to the next landing. He had ended up falling off near the bottom, though, plopping harmlessly down onto the steps with a little squawk, and we'd ended up laughing together about it. That had made me feel a little better, being able to do that, especially after what I'd been through earlier and what I'd learned.

Cait had done what he could to keep my spirits up during our trip down the stairs, and his antics had been a welcome distraction from all that had happened. By the time we had reached the bottom, I had felt a bit more like myself. I still wasn't sure what I was going to do now that I was on the run from Shinra and home wasn't safe either, but I felt like there was still hope for me that I could somehow piece my life together again, that things might still work out.

Reeve was waiting for us in the alley. "Good, you made it. How are you holding up?"

"A little better, thanks to Cait," I said.

"Glad to hear it," he replied. "Now we'd better get going. I've pulled my car around near the back of the building. We'll have to walk a little to get there, but it's not too far. Security's watching the parking garage, probably expecting you to go that way instead."

I nodded. "I'm ready."

Without another word, we left the alley and followed the building's outer wall to the back. Reeve's dark blue sedan was parked there, and I understood why. The external cameras didn't watch this area because it was almost always deserted. But I knew I wouldn't be able to relax until we were safely gone from here. As I got in the car, I noticed Cait hadn't moved but had stayed outside.

"You're not coming?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Nae, lass. I'm gonna stay here ahn keep an eye on things. I'll be seein' ye again, though."

I hugged him. "Thanks. Be careful, okay?"

"Will do! How aboot I tell yer fortune before ye go?"

"Sure!" I laughed. He'd done it before, and most of them were silly, but I didn't mind. It was just his way of helping me through this ordeal. "I could use some good news right about now."

Cait pointed a finger in the air. "Then that's what ye'll get!"

He did a little dance, hopping from one foot to the other, and then he spun around, flipped, and landed squarely on his feet. Twitching his whiskers, Cait reached one hand inside the gold crown on his head and took out a small white card. Then he held it out in front of him at arm's length and read what was on it, his voice as cheery as ever, and for just a moment I was able to forget about my predicament and focus on my friend and what he was doing for me:

_Big changes are coming, but new opportunities as well. And a chance to rediscover an old dream will soon be yours. Love is also in your future, both near and far. And your lucky color is red! Wear it proudly and your efforts will always pay off!_

"That's an interesting fortune," I smiled. "I like it."

Cait handed me the card. "Ahn it'll all come true, lass, ye'll see! Just ye wait! I guarantee it!"

I put the fortune in my pocket. "I'm sure it will, Cait. Thanks."

"Yer welcome, Jessica. Now ye'd best skedaddle before anyone sees ye here. We'll talk again soon."

Then he was gone, scampering away around the corner in a flutter of movement. I got in the car with Reeve and we drove off. It wasn't the sort you'd expect one of Shinra's highest-ranking officials to have. Kind of the opposite, really. It was nice, clean, and sleek, but nothing like the company's luxury models. As we rode, I realized there was something I had to do before I left my old life behind.

"Reeve," I said. "I need to stop by my house for a minute."

He frowned. "It's much too dangerous, Jessica. That's the first place your father will look for you."

I sighed. "I know it is, but there's something in there I _have_ to get. I won't be long, I promise. This is important, Reeve. Please trust me. We can't leave it behind."

"What is it?" he asked.

"My mom's diary. She wrote down everything she found out about my father. Among other things."

Reeve gave in. "Alright. But try to hurry."

It didn't take long to get home, and as soon as he parked the car by the front gate, I got out, punched in the access code, and hurried up to the house. I felt my father's eyes on me as I walked through the foyer as fast as I could, that huge painting looming over the place like it always did. At least I wouldn't have to live with it anymore.

I went into my room, took the diary from its hiding spot under my mattress, and then quickly got a few more things together, stuffing it all into an old gray backpack and zipping it shut. Once was done, I headed back into the main hall and was almost to the front door when I heard a voice behind me.

"Jessica!" It was Nan. "Where are you going?"

I turned to her, a lump forming in my throat. "I have to leave, Nan. And I don't think I'll be coming back."

She stared at me. "Why? What's wrong?"

"I can't tell you," I said. "I'm already at risk just being here. So don't let my father know. I… I have to get away from him."

"Of course," Nan promised.

Dropping my backpack onto the floor, I hugged her tight, my eyes swimming with tears. "Goodbye, Nan. Tell Theresa, Charlotte, and the others I'll miss them."

Her hug was just as tight. "I will, Jessica. Take care of yourself."

Letting go of her, I wiped my eyes as best I could as I picked up my backpack. "Always. I promise."

Then I walked away, hurrying outside and not looking back. It was hard to go, in spite of all that had happened. I'd known Nan almost my whole life, and the rest of the staff for years. They'd been as close to me as family and had made living in that place bearable. And as I got back into Reeve's car and put my bag in the backseat, I was nearly overcome with loss and had to blink away more tears.

As we drove off, I stared out the window at the buildings and lights passing by but didn't really see anything. All I could think of was what I had lost. I felt uprooted, adrift, and unsure of everything. Then I took Cait's fortune out of my pocket and read it again. I knew better than to take much stock in things like that, but even so, it was something. And I needed any kind of hope I could get right now.

We got to Reeve's place a little while later and went inside. It was a large, spacious apartment. It was nothing fancy, but it was nice enough, and clean. Compared to my father's huge, ostentatious mansion, it was practically tiny, but it felt cozy, warm, and honest. I liked it. I knew that I'd only be here for a short time, just until I could find a new home and put my life back in some kind of order, but it was enough. As I put my backpack down next to the sofa, I looked at Reeve.

"Thank you," I told him. "For everything. I don't know where I'd be if you hadn't helped me."

He nodded. "Don't mention it. Please, sit down."

I did, settling onto one end of the sofa while he sat on another one, smaller and at a right angle to first one. The thick black cushions were very soft. I looked around at the apartment. "It's a nice place."

"Thank you," Reeve chuckled. "It's not much, but it's home."

"I think it's great," I smiled.

His eyes took in his home before finding me again. "Well, I'm glad you like it. It's not often I get to have company."

"So, you said earlier something about hiding me?" I asked.

Reeve leaned forward. "Yes. Obviously your father knows what you look like. As I'm sure you're aware, Shinra has surveillance cameras all over the plate. And although it will certainly take time for them to find you amidst everyone else here, we don't need to make things any easier for them. There are ways you can blend in."

"You're talking about changing how I look," I understood now.

"Exactly. I know someone who might help with that. He's a little… flamboyant… but he's very good at what he does. I've conducted some business with him in the past, and while he mainly works in the slums, there are times when he'll accept an occasional client here on the plate. I'll contact him in the morning, see what I can do."

There was something else I wondered as well. "What am I going to do now? I can't just stay here all the time."

Reeve thought for a moment. "You mean as in work?"

"Yeah. Shinra's out, but I'd go crazy if I didn't have anything to do. I need to find something."

"You've spent time acting, haven't you?" Reeve wondered.

I blinked. "That's right. Ever since I was a little girl. It was my other passion aside from the tech stuff. I starred in a ton of school plays, and my mom got me private lessons as well. I acted for years, up until I was sixteen, even did shows at some of the theaters around town. If I hadn't quit to start working for Shinra, I might've made a career out of it. Did Mom tell you about it?"

"Yes," he scratched his chin. "She told me about your performances and how proud she was of you."

"I know she was," I blinked back a tear. "It made me so happy."

Reeve gazed at me. "Perhaps it's time you went back."

I hadn't thought of that. "You mean… start acting again? I think I'd really like that. It'd be nice to get away from the computers and bombs and weapons for a while. I need to, actually. After all that's happened, I could use a break from that stuff."

"I don't doubt it," he agreed. "I have a friend who owns a theater in Sector 8. Not the LOVELESS one, though. It's smaller, a bit more out of the way. I happen to know he's looking for some new talent, and a fresh young actress ought to be just what he needs. He also owes me a favor, so I think it's time to call it in."

"Thank you!" I exclaimed. The thought of acting again excited me, made my heart race in anticipation. It had been too long since I'd been on stage, and I realized then how much I missed it. "I'm really looking forward to getting back into it. Gotta use a stage name, though. Mine's obviously not gonna be safe."

Reeve nodded. "Any ideas?"

I thought for a moment. "Hmm… my first name's not uncommon, but I think I want to go with something a little different. To cut my ties to the past, you know. So I think… Jessie. It was a nickname Mom had for me when I was a kid. She never used it around my father, though. It was just something between us. Little Jessie. She always used to call me that. I'd give anything to hear her do it again..."

"I know…" he took my hand.

"As for a last name, I'm not sure yet…"

Reeve let go as he thought it over. "What about Rasberry? It's your mother's maiden name."

I shook my head. "No. My father would know it. He might start to look for me under that now that I've cut my ties with him. I don't want to risk it. I'll have to think of something else."

"I understand. How's your arm?"

"Better, thank you," I answered, giving him a grateful smile. "Still a bit sore, but I'll be fine."

He stood up. "Good, I'm glad to hear that. Why don't you get some rest? You've had quite a day, and I'm sure you're tired. That couch pulls out into a bed, and the linens are in the closet over there. I can get you some aspirin, if you'd like, while you're setting it up."

Sleep definitely sounded good to me. "Yeah. I think I like that idea. I'm _more_ than ready to crash."

"Help yourself to the kitchen if you want anything," he added.

"Reeve?" I glanced up at him.

He turned to me. "Yes, Jessica? Er, Jessie…"

"You can still call me Jessica if you want," I laughed. "I don't mind. But I wanted to know… what was it between you and Mom? All this, it seems like it's more than just what any ordinary friend would do. Don't take that the wrong way, though. I'm really grateful for all you've done. It's just a little overwhelming, is all."

He sat down next to me for a moment. "It's… complicated."

"So I guessed. Can you tell me anything?"

"There is one thing," he said. "Something I've never told you. I felt it wasn't my place to bring it up while you were still working under me and your mother was… still alive. It had been her decision, after all, so I had thought it better for her to tell you when she was ready. But she's gone now. And I think she'd want you to know."

"Know what?" I asked.

Reeve went on. "After you were born, your mother asked me to be your godfather, to look after you if anything ever happened to her. You know how close she and I were, that we grew up together in the slums. So I accepted her offer. Gladly, I might add. You're like family to me. If you don't mind, that is…"

I hugged him. "Of course I don't mind! I thought I didn't have any family anymore…"

"You do now," he hugged me back.


	11. TEN

**TEN**

The next morning, I went into the bathroom to take a look at how my arm was healing up. After closing the door, I pulled off the old blue T-shirt I'd worn to bed, stood in front of the mirror, and unwound the bandage just under my shoulder as slowly and carefully as I could. The bleeding had finally stopped, though there was a dark bruise where the bullet had gone in, and I was sure there was also one in the back where it had gone out. My arm still ached a little, but it wasn't as bad as it had been yesterday, just a faint, dull throbbing beneath my skin. I thought I could almost ignore if I tried hard enough.

Facing the mirror again, I tried lifting my arm above my head, but I didn't get very far before the pain suddenly reared up and practically kicked me in the head. So much for _that_ idea. I'd wanted to see how far I could move it, but I realized then that it would be a little while before I'd have my full range of motion back. I sighed, lowered my arm again, and gently rubbed it where it hurt until the ache subsided, fading back to where it had been before. And as much as I hated the idea, I decided to ask Reeve later if he had another potion I could take.

In the meantime, there was something else that I'd come in here to do. I went over to the tub and turned on the water, adjusting the knobs until it was nice and hot, just the way I liked it. Then I took off the rest of my clothes, put them aside, and stepped lightly into the shower. The streams of water sizzled against my bare skin as puffs of steam rose up around me, and for a while I just soaked, badly needing this chance to relax after the long and terrible day I'd had yesterday.

Eventually, though, I washed up, using the little travel soaps I'd put in my backpack last night and which I'd set in here before going to bed. I had to do it with only my good hand for the most part, so it took a bit longer than it normally would have. I didn't mind, though, and while I swirled the bubbly suds over my body and slid my fingers through the long, wet strands of my hair, I felt myself unwind a little. I had another busy day ahead of me, but this one would be different, and as I started to rinse myself off, I found I was ready for it.

When I was finished, I let the water spill over me for a little longer as I stood there with my eyes closed and my head tilted back. Being in here had done wonders for my muscles. My legs in particular had been practically screaming last night after going down all those stairs, but I'd been so preoccupied with everything else that had happened that I had forced myself to push through it. And by the time I'd arrived at Reeve's place, I had been so tired that I had just gone right to bed after he and I had finished talking.

I opened my eyes and turned off the water a few minutes later, and almost immediately I felt goosebumps rise up on my skin. My hair wet and dripping, I reached for one of the towels on the rack, got out of the tub, and dried myself off, mostly with my good hand. My right arm felt a bit better after the shower, but I still couldn't lift it too high yet. Then I got dressed, slipping on an extra set of clothes I'd brought in with me, and finished getting ready.

Reeve was already gone by the time I got out, but he'd left a note on the kitchen table. I'd figured that he'd have returned to work by now, so I wasn't surprised. My stomach started yammering at me for breakfast, but before I got myself anything, I picked up the small slip of paper on the table and read what was on it:

_Jessica,_

_I hope you slept well last night. Sorry I missed you this morning, but I had to get to work. But before I left, I called those two friends I told you about last night, and they've both agreed to help you. The first should be there early in the afternoon to pick you up, so be sure you're ready. You'll probably be gone most of the day. He's a bit flashy, as I mentioned before, but there's no one in Midgar better able to help you create a new identity and a new look__for yourself__than him._

_The man who owns the Starlight Theater in Sector 8 is expecting you tonight at 6:00 for an interview and audition. There's a new play starting its run in a few weeks, and I've convinced him to give you a shot at it. It's a supporting role, but I'm sure you'll do fine and it's a good place to start. And once you're comfortable being on stage again, I'm sure you won't be needing my help getting a starring role yourself someday. Good luck, and I'm looking forward to hearing how it goes. I'll see you tonight when you get back. Take care._

_Reeve_

I smiled as I put the note down and made myself something to eat. I had known he'd come through for me, just as he always had. Though I did wonder a bit about the first man he had mentioned. Flamboyant? Flashy? What had he meant? I didn't know, but I figured it didn't really matter. The guy was willing to help me, and from what Reeve had told me, he was the best at what he did.

There was a knock at the door about two hours later, right at 12:00. The guy certainly was punctual and precise. Couldn't get any earlier in the afternoon than that. I put Mom's diary down on the table, slipped a scrap of paper in it to use as a crude bookmark, closed it, and stood up. When I answered the door, I had to keep myself from staring. The man on other side was nothing like what I'd been expecting.

His hair and beard were brown and cropped extremely short, close enough to his skin that I could see his scalp. His outfit was dark purple with gold trim, an elegant, high-collared thing with long, hanging tails and an open chest with a weblike pattern of fabric sewn across it. Short sleeves ran down to his elbows and were also partially open. They had the same open, weblike design that was on the chest, and his matching purple shoes shone like mirrors. I thought I could almost see myself in them, they were so clear.

He bowed slightly, every movement an exercise in practiced grace. "Greetings, Jessica Heidegger. My name is Andrea Rhodea, owner and proprietor of the Honeybee Inn. But I suspect you are as yet unfamiliar with my establishment. It lies in Wall Market, far below where we now stand. But not so far removed as you might think."

"Far below?" I wondered. "You mean the slums, don't you?"

"That is correct. But we will not be going to the Inn today. While it is my primary place of business and the center of my various activities, I do own and operate a second establishment here on the plate. In this very sector, in fact. It is more discreet than the Inn, and it is there that I will take you. Come, Jessica. We have much to do."

I followed him, locking the door with the spare key Reeve had left for me. "I was told you could help me?"

Andrea nodded. "Indeed. Your friend is correct."

"You can give me a new look, a new image?" I went on.

"But of course," he answered as we walked outside. "Beauty is what I craft and what I pursue. It is my business and my passion. I am aware of your needs, Jessica, and your situation. Reeve has explained it to me fully. And I shall indeed help you."

Waiting for us was a black stretch limo, and once we got inside, we drove away. It wasn't a very long trip, but it took us to a smaller area of Sector 8 that I'd never seen before, a quiet corner tucked away from the larger avenues and more prominent districts. Andrea got out first, then took me by the hand and helped me to step out of the limo as if I were some big star or something. I felt a little silly but kept it to myself as we stood on the street outside his establishment. He planted a soft kiss on the back of my hand before letting it go.

I couldn't help feeling a little giddy. "Thank you, Mr. Rhodea."

"Please, call me Andrea. And I don't take an interest in just anyone, so consider yourself fortunate. Your plight is one that moves me, and I cannot refuse one in such dire need of my help."

"It's just a new look, though," I said.

Andrea shook his. "No, Jessica. It is more than that. Beauty is more than merely what you wear and how you appear. It comes straight from the heart and infuses every fiber of your being. I will teach you to draw upon it and make it a part of yourself. Together, we shall awaken a new woman in you, one that others will never forget and whom your father will never know or recognize."

There weren't any lights or signs outside the building to show what was inside. Except for one thing. The image of a honeybee was printed above the building's double doors. Andrea pushed them open, snapped his finger, and two attendants came and held them as he led me inside. I followed him, curious and a little excited.

Andrea turned to me. "Welcome to the Honeybee Lounge."

A long, thick red carpet lay on the black and white checkered floor of the lobby, and to my left was a polished wooden desk with a man in a bright yellow suit standing behind him. This was probably some sort of reception area for people to check in at. A set of stairs rose behind it to the second floor, and pots of colorful silk flowers decorated the area. I'd have been really surprised if any had been real. Those were unheard of in Midgar, at least as far as I knew.

Another set of double doors stood closed in front of us, and it was through there that Andrea led me. We entered into a lounge area full of small tables with little lamps on them and a stage up front. The curtain was closed at the moment, but people were still sitting and murmuring amongst themselves. I supposed a show was starting soon, but I had no idea what it was. I'd never been to this sort of place before.

We ignored the crowd and went instead to a smaller door off to the left side of the room. It was quieter on the other side as I followed him down a short, narrow hallway that soon turned to the right and led to a series of dressing rooms on either side. Andrea went to one of the ones on the left, opened the door, and beckoned me inside.

I went in. It was a world I'd not been a part of for years, but as I sat down in a large cushioned chair next to a mirror lined with lights, I felt like I'd begun to find a part of myself again that I'd thought lost forever. _An old dream rediscovered._ I smiled, remembering the fortune Cait had given me. Maybe there was something to it after all.

Three other people joined us. Two were young women, like me but dressed in black leotards, stockings, and high heels. They also had a set of large plastic wings fitted onto their backs, and each girl wore a black hairband with a pair of cute antennae on it as well. The third was a guy in a white tuxedo shirt, black slacks, and a matching top hat.

They all bustled into the dressing room with the largest assortment of makeup, cosmetics, and other beauty items I'd ever seen. I had never worn much of that stuff myself even in my acting days—just a bit here and a touch there for the most part—so I didn't really know what most of what they had even was. But I knew Andrea did and that he'd figure out what would work best for me. I wasn't expecting him to do what he did first, though, and I was surprised, to say the least.

Andrea took off my glasses. "These will simply not do, Jessica. The first of many such changes."

"But I can't see without them!" I protested.

"That is being taken care of as we speak," he assured me. "And you will not only have your vision, you will _become_ a vision. A testament to beauty and sophistication."

I stared at him. "You really think so?"

"I know so. Beauty is my specialty, Jessica. My art."

As he turned the chair to face me away from the mirror, the others opened a nearby closet to reveal a wardrobe full of women's clothes, all of different styles and colors. I'd never been into fashion much since I'd always been more of a tomboy, and my own outfits were usually pretty modest and boyish, not really showing much skin or doing anything to show off my body, which I'd always been a little self-conscious of. Even my work clothes—the slacks and blouses I'd often worn—had been the same way for the most part. My outfit today wasn't much different, just a long-sleeved shirt and some casual pants.

Andrea looked at me long and hard, circling around me as though he were sizing me up, one hand under his chin. Then he turned to one of the girls and conferred with her for a moment, their voices down to a low murmur. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I knew it had to be about me. And when the girl brought over a tray full of grooming supplies—including all manner of scissors, brushes, combs, sprays, and dyes—and laid everything out on top of the wooden dresser in front of the mirror, I suddenly understood.

"You're going to cut my hair?" I asked.

"Yes," Andrea replied. "She will, but I will direct her. I must ask you first, however. Do you trust me?"

I swallowed. "I do. It's just… I've always had it long."

"And that it why it must change. Leave the old behind, Jessica. You are beginning a new phase of your life. Let the severing of your hair be a means of casting off that which came before."

"It would make it harder for my father to find me, too," I said. "He's not one to pay attention to things like that."

He nodded. "Exactly. Now, may we proceed?"

I took a long, slow breath and let it out. "Do it. I'm ready."

After covering me with a black salon cape and fastening it in place, the girl picked up a comb and scissors and got started. I closed my eyes as she worked on my hair under Andrea's careful direction. Although I didn't know how he was going to have it styled or what he was going to turn me into, I realized it didn't really matter. My life had changed, and he was right. I had to embrace it and put the past behind me. The pain of what I'd done and what I'd lost would never leave, and neither would the memories, but maybe I could live with them.

When they were finished, I opened my eyes to see Andrea going to the wardrobe and inspecting the different outfits, his gaze flitting back to me every soften as if he were checking something. I still had no idea how my hair looked yet since the girl who had cut it hadn't rotated the chair back around to face the mirror again. I guess they wanted to wait until the whole ensemble was done before letting me see it for myself. I was a little nervous but also excited.

Andrea came back over, the second girl behind him with the set of clothes he'd picked out for me. I didn't know why he hadn't let me do it myself, but I had the feeling I probably wouldn't have chosen the same thing if he had. The point of this exercise was to help me get away from my old way of doing things, and taking on a new style in how I looked and dressed was a part of that. If the choice had been left to me, I don't know if it would've been what I needed.

"Take these and change," Andrea handed me the new clothes. "The girls will assist you while Robert and I are gone."

He bowed, then he and the other man left, closing the door behind them. After I stood up, I started to turn around to try and get a look at myself in the mirror, but one of the girls caught me and kept me facing away from it as she smiled apologetically. The other one helped me get changed, taking my old clothes as I took them off and giving me a little guidance with the new ones. They were definitely different than what I was used to, and I wouldn't really know how they looked on me until I saw myself in the mirror, but I liked what I'd seen so far.

When I was finished, one of the girls opened the door, and Andrea and Robert came back inside. Robert, I noticed, was carrying a slender rectangular box in hand this time. He hadn't had it before. I wondered what was inside but figured I'd find out sooner or later. There was also some writing on it, but without my glasses, I couldn't make it out from where I was. And I was barely able to see anything more than a few feet away at all. Just constant blurs of color and motion that kept going into and out of focus whenever Andrea and his assistants moved toward or away from me as they worked.

Andrea motioned for me to sit down in the chair again, and I did. I saw, as he and others moved closer, that they had begun going through all the cosmetics they'd brought in earlier. Andrea hovered over me like a surgeon operating on his patient, and the others were like his nurses, giving him whatever he needed—brushes, pastes, lipstick, eyeliner, and other things I didn't have a name for.

I don't know how long I was in that chair, a big bundle of nerves as I sat there and let him shape and mold me as if I were his canvas. And I guess I sort of was. I didn't know what to expect, and it was both scary and exciting at the same time. Andrea didn't speak much, and I had to hold still unless it was to turn my head in one direction or the other or close my eyes for a moment while he applied the makeup. Whatever he was doing, my pores felt cleaner than they had in ages.

While Andrea worked on my face, the girls did my nails. One took my hands while the other did my feet. I hadn't expected all this when I had come over here today, but I wasn't about to complain, either. It had been a long time since I'd had anything like this done, and it felt pretty good, to be honest. So I just relaxed and enjoyed it.

When they were all finished and my nails were dry, Andrea held a hand out toward Robert, who gave him the box I'd seen earlier. It was a small one, narrow and flat and white. Then he handed it to me, but not without a bit of theatrical flair that made me wonder even more about what it was. I opened the flap on one end of the box and pulled out the plastic tray inside. And when I saw what was on it, I looked back up at Andrea in astonishment.

"Contact lenses?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yes. I had them made while we were in here working on you. That is why we needed your glasses. Now, put these on, and see the world anew. They are for more than your sight, as you will find out once you look at yourself."

I'd never worn contacts before and I wasn't entirely sure how to put them on, but the girls were good enough to show me, and it was only a minute or so later that they were in place and suddenly everything was clear and sharp again. Even more than when I had worn my glasses, in fact. I could hardly believe it.

"It's incredible!" I exclaimed. "Thank you!"

Andrea bowed. "You are quite welcome, Jessica. And now, it's time for you to see what you have become. Are you ready?"

I was _more_ than ready. "Yeah. Show me."

"Very well," he said. "Look this way, my avatar of beauty."

He motioned to my left with a wide, graceful sweep of his arm, and I slowly turned in that direction, my heart pounding. When I saw what was there, I froze, my feet rooted to the spot. While I had been putting on my new contact lenses, Robert had set up a full length dress mirror on that side of the room. And when I saw my reflection, my mouth fell open and my eyes widened to the size of saucers.

"Oh, _wow…!"_ I gasped.

My hair, which used to fall nearly to my waist, now hung just a few inches above my shoulders, the ends cut at an angle that rose higher at the back. My bangs were long and styled as well. They had changed the color, too. My natural light auburn had been dyed, and now it was a lot darker, a rich chocolate brown with faint red highlights. I really liked it a lot, and I couldn't help smiling as I ran a hand through it. An excited giggle got away from me as I kept staring at myself.

As I gazed at my eyes, I understood what Andrea had meant when he'd said the contacts were for more than just helping me see better. My eyes were naturally brown, but Andrea's people had tinted the contacts, and they made the color deeper and richer than it had been before. My eyes actually matched my hair now, believe it or not.

The skin of my face felt soft, fresh, and looked absolutely flawless. I had no idea what sort of foundation Andrea had used, but the color fit my natural skin tone perfectly. It was smooth, bright, and I loved it. My lips had been coated in a wonderfully vibrant reddish-pink lipstick that left them looking lusher and fuller than I remembered and made them glisten in the light. A matching shade of rouge covered my cheeks, just enough to bring them out and give them a hint of color. Not too much and not too little. My eyelashes had been expertly curled, and now they looked longer, fuller, and thicker than I'd ever seen them. And my eyes themselves looked bigger, too, and had been softly accented with a nice bluish-black eye shadow and a slight touch of eyeliner to add a little bit of definition and enhance the rest.

I was wearing an elegant, sleeveless evening dress of dark red satin, cut low enough to offer a tantalizing view and make my modest curves really stand out. The back was also low, and the straps on my shoulders were slender but so light it almost felt like they weren't even there. The skirt portion swished around my legs just above my knees. On my feet were a pair of open-toed high heels that matched my dress—definitely not the sneakers and clogs I had always worn. They were great, though, and I was sure I could get used to them.

Andrea had also cleverly hidden the bruises on my wounded arm, applying just the right amount of body foundation over them, and as I stared at my shoulder, it looked as if I'd never even been shot at all, the skin clean and unmarked. It was just makeup, but I was happy about it nevertheless. He had also rubbed a medicinal cream onto them as well, and my arm felt better now than it had all day.

My fingernails and toenails had both been neatly trimmed and had been coated with a bright, shiny polish that was the same reddish-pink that had been used on my lips and cheeks. I held my hands out in front of me to get a better look, then glanced down at my toes before gazing back in the mirror again in awe and delight.

"Does it meet with your approval?" Andrea asked.

I turned to him and grinned, feeling really happy for the first time since Mom's death. "Yes! Thank you so much!"

He bowed again. "My pleasure, Jessica."

"It… it's just so… I don't even look anything like I did before! It… it's… oh, I don't have the words! It's…"

"Perfection," Andrea declared, his eyes on mine.

That was it! "Exactly! I still can't believe it's really me…"

He went on. "It _is_ you. A new you, arisen from the ashes of all you have lost and left behind. But this is merely the beginning. Reeve spoke to me of your decision to cast aside your old name. A wise choice. You have already chosen part of it, correct?"

"That's right," I nodded. "Jessie. But I don't know the rest just yet. I thought about Rasberry, my mom's maiden name, but… I think it's too dangerous, at least for now. Maybe someday I'll use it, when my father isn't looking so closely for me. But for now, I need something different. Think you can help with that?"

"But of course," Andrea replied. "It must be simple yet also provide a touch of flair and panache, flowing from one syllable to the next with ease and grace. As a performer, your name is vital. It is how you will be known and remembered."

It made sense and fit with my past experience as an actress. I knew how important it was. "Right. So, let's see…"

Andrea gazed at me for a long moment, his hand under his chin as he scrutinized me. Then he pointed at me, a clever smirk on his face. "I have it. Jae. That is your name. You are Jessie Jae."

"Jessie Jae…" I murmured, sounding it out for myself.

"What do you think?" he said.

I smiled. "Perfection."

"Excellent," Andrea agreed. "Now, come. There is still much yet for us to do. This way."

I followed him out of the dressing room and further down the hall. At the end was another door, and inside was a large, open room with a polished wooden floor that seemed to echo with every step we took. It was dimly lit by a series of round lights far overhead, and I couldn't see much of anything. But a vague suspicion began forming in my mind as we made our way to the middle of the room.

"Where are we?" I wondered.

Andrea turned around to face me. "Your next lesson. If you wish to become someone new, it requires more than merely changing how you look. You must also change how you act. Be the change you desire. You seek a return to the stage and all its light and glory, but don't be afraid, for you are already there."

He snapped his fingers, and the lights brightened at once. As soon as they did and I saw what was around me, I knew exactly where I was, where I'd thought I might be. Off to my my right was the curtain, large and thick and red, and the lines of lights overhead hung suspended on metal racks, a familiar sight from so long ago.

I was on stage, the very same one I'd seen before.

As the curtain rose, I saw that I was right. It was the lounge he and I had passed through earlier, only now it was much more crowded, the hushed murmur of conversation dying away as everyone settled in and got ready to watch the show. I swallowed heavily, butterflies exploding in my stomach, and wondered if I could do this.

Andrea's voice was firm. "Jessie Jae. Look at me."

I did. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"To test you," he answered. "Now, show me what you can do!"

Just as he finished speaking, the lights flashed and music started, a quick rhythm with a strong beat, and I knew what he was asking me to do. Andrea started first, and I followed, slowly at first as I tried to learn the moves he was using. I hadn't done anything like this in years, but as I kept at it and focused only on him and not the crowd, I started to feel my confidence growing. Soon I forgot about everything else as we kept dancing, the music loud in our ears.

"How's that?" I grinned, spinning away from him.

He nodded. "Very good. But before you can own the audience, you must first own yourself. You want to be a presence on stage and in your life? To live out your dreams? Then seize them and never let go. You're a brilliant star, shining in the night. You are a sensation, ready to sweep down upon this city. Don't _think_ you are. _Know_ you are."

My heart racing, I took in every word and knew he was right. I had merely been following his lead before, but now I started making moves of my own, and he kept up perfectly as behind us, the back of the stage suddenly rose up in a series of tiers and a group of Honeybee girls and guys emerged from underneath and danced all around us. I'd been in a few musicals during my past years as an actress, and as I thought about that and let the familiar sights, sounds, and experiences overtake me, I relaxed even more and really got into it.

When the music finally stopped with a burst of confetti and a blast of multicolored light, I almost wished it hadn't. I stood there, just a few yards away from Andrea, my arms stretched out wide and high and my legs slightly apart as I stared out at the crowd with my head held high. I was totally exhilarated, my heart pounding in my chest and adrenaline rushing through me like wildfire.

Then we all came to the front of the stage and took our bows, hand in hand, and as the cheers and applause of the crowd washed over us, I wondered why I had ever left this life in the first place. And I found my love of it returning, a passion I'd thought long gone. But I had a second chance now, and I had every intention of grabbing it and running with it as fast and as far as I could go. Tonight's audition at the Starlight was just the beginning. And although I had originally meant for my acting to just be a way for me to hide from my father, I realized I wanted it to be much more than that now.

It was time to rediscover my dreams.


	12. ELEVEN

**ELEVEN**

Four months after I left Shinra and returned to the theater, my life had settled into a peaceful calm I'd never known before. It had taken a few weeks, but I had found myself a nice little apartment just down the street from the Starlight Theater and within walking distance of a lot of shops, restaurants, and other nice places in Sector 8. It also wasn't that far from the Honeybee Lounge, where I occasionally performed when I wasn't doing rehearsals or plays at the Starlight.

Not as a Honeybee, of course, but as Andrea's partner on stage. He continued teaching me, both to build my confidence and help me grow as a performer. The pain of Mom's loss and what I'd gone through back at Shinra lingered, but I was able to live with it. And when I was under the bright lights on stage, acting and entertaining the audience, I could forget about the ache in my heart for a while.

After my first visit to the Lounge and my successful audition at the Starlight Theater, Reeve and Andrea had helped me to get back on my feet, both financially and materially. I'd had a substantial amount of gil in my bank account, but since it was all under my old name, I couldn't just walk in and withdraw it as if nothing had happened. It might have been tracked back to me, letting my father know where I was. So Reeve and I came up with a plan. Before that, though, there was one thing I'd had to do first and foremost.

It's kinda funny that the first fake ID I ever made was for myself. It was fun doing it, I have to admit, spoofing my own old ID like that and making a new one out of it. Then I'd had to hack into Shinra's database and activate it from that end, which hadn't been difficult. Garret hadn't changed much about the system since I'd left, it seemed. Lucky for me, right? Or maybe Reeve had something to do with it. In any event, I was able to make myself a new ID without a hitch.

Once that was done and I had used it to open a new account under my new name, Reeve had used his influence and his contacts inside the bank to help me shift some of my money into the new account, quietly and discreetly, so I could begin building a new life for myself. I couldn't just take it all without it being noticed, so I'd had to make do with only a small part of what I'd saved up over the years, just enough to help me start over, and had abandoned the rest.

Andrea had given me a few outfits like the first he'd selected along with a large supply of the makeup he'd used on me while Meredith, one of the Honeybee girls who had helped me with my makeover that first day, had shown me how to apply the cosmetics the way Andrea had. It was more involved than I'd expected, but it didn't take me long to learn how to do it. Once I had secured my money and gotten my new place, I did some shopping, buying clothes, food, and everything else I would need, and had begun to settle into my new life.

My new apartment was on the top floor of the red brick building it was in, and I would often just stand and gaze out my window, sipping a coffee or other drink and watching the streets below. Sometimes it was crowded, sometimes it was almost empty. I was also glad I couldn't see the Shinra Building from where I lived. It wasn't very far from me, and I'd always found it somewhat amusing that I was hiding right under my father's nose. The last thing he'd have expected. But I still hoped to find a way to leave Midgar someday and get away from him entirely. I didn't know where I'd go, and I didn't care as long as it was far away and some new place I'd never seen before.

I was at the window early one evening when my phone rang. I had just come home a little bit ago from rehearsal and had been thinking of walking down the road to grab a bite to eat from one of the restaurants nearby—there was a nice little cafe just a block or two from me—but it looked like that would have to wait.

I picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey, girl! How are you?" a familiar voice answered.

It was Kayla, a friend and fellow actress from the Starlight Theater. We performed together a lot and hung out sometimes when we weren't busy entertaining audiences. We often chatted over the phone, too, so I hadn't been expecting this to be any different. But it would turn out to be so much more than I could've ever imagined.

I smiled. "Hi, Kayla. I'm good. What about you?"

"I'm fine, Jessie," she laughed. "Especially after what I've just found out! Have you heard the news?"

"No, what is it?" I wondered.

Kayla went on. "Well, you've heard the rumors that Cassie Raleine's leaving LOVELESS, right?"

I sat down on my sofa. "Yeah. That I know about."

"Well, turns out it's true, Jessie! She just announced it today. Seems she's got herself a part in a movie, so she's leaving the production. And get this! LOVELESS Theater's gonna hold an open audition for her role in the play! _The_ role, Jessie!"

My jaw dropped to the floor. LOVELESS was the biggest play in all of Midgar, and the role of Sarah—the lead heroine and the girl featured in all the posters and flyers for the play, not to mention the huge mural above LOVELESS Theater itself—was the one role virtually every stage actress in the city, myself included, dreamed of getting.

Mom had taken me to see the play plenty of times when I was little and even as I had grown older, and I knew it almost by heart. It was my favorite play, and as a kid I had often daydreamed about being on stage as Sarah at LOVELESS Theater, playing the role and wowing audiences night after night. And although I was acting again, the thought that the part might actually become available had never once crossed my mind. But now, suddenly it was. Damn, but it was!

"Are you serious!?" I gasped.

Kayla didn't hesitate. "Damn right I am! I know it's hard to believe, but it's really happening! It's amazing! I'm gonna go for it, Jessie. What about you? Think you'll give it a try?"

That was harder for me to answer than I had expected. The role of Sarah was one that I'd longed for ever since I was a little girl, but it was also a huge part of Midgar's culture. Playing Sarah was just _asking_ to be noticed and discovered. I was trying to stay out of sight as best I could, and though my father had never been interested in the theater—he had never once watched me perform when I was growing up—I just wasn't sure if I could risk trying to land the part.

But even so, there was a large part of me that wanted to do it, even if it meant taking a chance that my father might somehow find out that I was the new lead actress of the most famous play in the city. This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and if I let it slip away from me now, I knew I'd always regret it and wonder what might have been. I couldn't do that. I had to try, to know I'd at least done that much. It was my one chance to turn my childhood dream into a reality.

"Yeah, I will," I answered Kayla's question. "When's the audition?"

"Next week, Monday morning at 8:00 at LOVELESS Theater. Want to head down there together?"

I grinned. "You bet! Think we should get there early?"

"Yeah, say 7:00?" Kayla suggested. "The line's gonna be around the block, I bet. Gotta be sure we get our shot when they open the doors. I hear it's gonna be going on all week. Each day, the number of girls gets cut until there's only three left on Friday. And that's when they'll make the big decision, Jessie."

"Then we'd better make damn sure we get in," I smirked.

She chuckled. "You said it, girl! Meet me for lunch tomorrow after morning rehearsals?"

"Sure," I said. "Sounds good, Kayla."

We talked a little longer, Kayla going on about her boyfriend as she loved to do and inevitably teasing me about not having one of my own. I didn't really mind being alone, though, and it was just easier that way with the situation I was in. She didn't know anything about it or who I really was. No one did except Reeve, Cait, and Andrea, and I knew that my secret was safe with them.

When Kayla and I had finished, said our goodbyes, and hung up, I put the phone aside and sat back on the sofa, my mind still whirling at the thought of auditioning to be in LOVELESS. To be Sarah. It still felt strangely unreal, realizing that this was actually happening. Of course, I didn't think I'd actually get the part—hundreds of girls were going to be at the theater over the next week trying to do the same thing—but I was still gonna go for it anyway. Just doing that much would be enough for me. I could be happy with that.

Of course, since I'd decided to try getting the role, I wasn't going to give the audition anything less than my best effort. So I got up, walked over to the bookcase in the corner of the room, and picked up my copy of LOVELESS. I'd memorized the play almost word for word, as much as I loved it, but I wasn't going to take any chances. I sat back down on the sofa, opened the book, and started to read.

* * *

On the morning of the audition, Kayla and I stood together on the sidewalk outside LOVELESS Theater. Just as she'd said over the phone, the line stretched all the way around the block, dozens of girls just like us all waiting for the place to open so we could go in and get started. It was almost 8:00, and although we'd gotten here just before 7:00, lots of other women had shown up early as well, having had the same idea we did. So, Kayla and I waited in line just a short ways down the sidewalk from the theater's main entrance.

Outwardly, I was calm and cool, confident and relaxed, everything Andrea had been teaching me to be. Inwardly, though, my stomach felt like it was doing somersaults. As I stood there with Kayla, I kept going over Andrea's lessons in my mind. _Own yourself._ Before I could hope to wow the director, assistant directors, or anyone else, I had to believe in myself, in what I _knew_ I could do, what I was born to do.

_Own yourself, and you_ _own them_. The words filled my thoughts as I repeated them to myself over and over again, hearing Andrea's voice in my head as I did. And soon, I felt my anxiety begin to subside just as it had in the Honeybee Lounge the first day I had performed there, after Andrea had thrust me out on stage. It had been a test, like he'd told me, to see if I could handle being under the lights again. I hadn't failed him then, and I wasn't going to now. I had this.

Kayla laughed. "Damn, girl! You're really knockin' it outta the park with that outfit. Did I tell you yet?"

"Three times now," I grinned. "Or was it four?"

From the moment I had decided to try to get the role, I had known I'd have to stand out at the audition in order to be noticed. So I'd taken a walk down to some of the shops in the area and had bought myself a new dress just for the occasion. Funny how I was more comfortable in them now than I'd been during my Shinra days. But I think it might've also been a way for me to distance myself from what I'd once been, like Andrea had said. Ever since leaving Shinra, I had stayed away from the gadgets, from the technology and computer skills that had caused pain for so many people, as much as I could.

Making my new ID had been a necessity, an exception, and though I'd gotten a certain amount of fun out of it, I hadn't wanted to linger on that sort of thing. The memories were still too close, too strong. So as I began my new life, I buried myself in my acting. I didn't believe I'd ever see that nerdy, tomboyish side of me again.

For the audition, I was wearing a dark blue sleeveless dress, cut low with the straps meeting in the back behind my neck. The skirt stopped just above my knees, and on my legs I had put on a pair of sheer, black lace stockings that went up to my thighs, and on my feet I wore a set of matching blue high heels.

I'd been up since 6:00 this morning, and I had carefully applied all my makeup the way Meredith had shown me. My hair was still as short as it had been the day it had first been cut—I'd been getting it trimmed every so often over the past few months to keep it that way—and I kept dyeing it whenever the color needed renewing. It was still as rich, dark, and brown as ever with just that slight touch of red that set it apart and which I loved so much.

Kayla smirked. "Yeah, but who's counting?"

"Dress to impress, right?" I joked.

"Oh, you're impressive, alright. I wish I'd thought of that."

I ran a hand through my hair. "Thanks, Kayla. But you look fine! I like what you're wearing."

Kayla had on a sleeveless red blouse and a pair of black capris with matching shoes, and her long black hair had been nicely curled around her dark-skinned face. A slender gold hoop earring hung from each of her ears as she stood in line with me. As for my own ears, I preferred a pair of glittering studs, small but bright.

She chuckled. "Thanks, but you're still a knockout, girl. Seems I'm not the only one who's noticed, either."

"What?" I blinked.

"Take a look around, Jessie. See for yourself."

I did, glancing around the crowd of girls outside the theater and all down the sidewalk. Some of them had dressed up and some hadn't, but it wasn't until that moment when I looked around that I realized lots of curious, wondering glances were being directed my way. Conversation ebbed and flowed amongst everyone out here as we all waited, but as I took in what Kayla had said, I suddenly became aware that some of the talk nearby seemed to be about me.

I looked back at Kayla. "Do I… really stand out?"

"In a good way," she assured me. "They're admiring you. Even a bit jealous, I think."

"Really? I had no idea…"

Kayla smiled. "Yeah. I've been listening since we got here. And the best part is, you're getting all this attention without even trying. You're a natural, girl! Totally!"

I laughed. "That should help my chances, then."

"Definitely!" she agreed. Then she pointed. "Look, Jessie! It's time. They're finally opening up!"

Kayla was right. The theater doors stood open now, and several of the staff stood on either side of them, motioning for everyone to come inside. As we got moving, I felt butterflies floating in my stomach again but took a breath and forced them down. I could do this. Didn't have a doubt in my mind. Not a one.

We all filed through the lobby and into the auditorium. It was huge and could hold hundreds of people. The place was often packed during the height of the theater season, and the thought of performing before such a large crowd gave me a thrill of nervous excitement. It was much smaller at the Starlight, so this would be an entirely new experience. If I got the part, that was. I knew I could do it, though. I kept focusing on what I'd been taught, what Andrea had told me I was and could still be. A star, a sensation. This was my chance.

The auditorium was lit up but empty at the moment except for the director, assistant director, and a few of the play's production staff. The group was sitting in the front row before the stage. While a number of girls that had been ahead of us in line were ushered backstage to begin the auditions, the rest of us were instructed to just have a seat and wait for our turn, so Kayla and I sat down in the second row while the girls who had gone backstage came out one by one as directed.

After each one of the girls had finished their audition, the director and assistant director would talk quietly with each other for a moment. If they liked what they'd seen, they'd then invite the lucky girl to return tomorrow. If they didn't, then they'd just thank the girl and send her on her way. More got sent home than invited back, of course. A lot more. I thought about my own upcoming audition and decided I wasn't getting sent home today. I would be back tomorrow. For sure.

I glanced at Kayla. "How many are they letting through today?"

"A hundred," she answered. "Tomorrow it'll be fifty. Wednesday, it's gonna be ten, and Thursday they'll narrow it down to the top three. So like I told you on the phone, Friday's the big day."

"We'll make it to Friday," I promised her. "Both of us."

She grinned. "Count on it."

After a while, it was our chance to go backstage with the next set of girls. We waited in line, Kayla and I wishing each other luck, and when it was finally my turn, I strode out onto the stage with my head high, as bold and confident as I knew I could be. _Own yourself._ Andrea's words reassured me. _Own yourself and you own the room._ And as I thought of that, the last of my doubts fell away.

After introducing myself, I took a breath and performed the scene and song I'd chosen. LOVELESS was actually a musical, so the audition had to include both acting and singing. I'd been practicing every day in every spare moment I could, putting myself into the character and into the music. And as I went through my audition, my voice easily keeping up with the melody, I forgot about everything else, losing myself totally in what I was doing and in the moment. And when I was done, I gazed at the director and assistant director, my eyes fixed firmly on them and never wavering for a second.

They invited me to come back tomorrow.

* * *

Kayla and I both made it to Friday.

As each day passed and we made the cut each time, our excitement grew. I felt like I could hardly contain it. It was incredible, and I had to remind myself sometimes that this wasn't a dream. It was real. I'd made it this far. I was a finalist for the part. And whatever happened today, I was proud and overjoyed at what I'd achieved.

That said, I still had every intention of winning.

Today was going to be a real event. The press was here this time in addition to the director, Landon Cole, and his assistant director, Cecily Chere. Cameras had been set up, and the final audition was going to be broadcast all over Midgar. I hadn't kept up with the news around it, so I had no idea just how big this whole thing really was. I'd been so busy practicing and preparing that I hadn't paid attention to anything else. It hadn't hit me until Kayla and I had arrived at the theater today and had seen the van from the news station as well as a gathering audience that it started to sink in. The auditorium was packed.

Nerves had threatened to overwhelm me, but I'd managed to force them down, recalling Andrea's words again and remembering how far I had come, that I'd earned the right to be here. Soon enough, I began to relax as my confidence returned.

Before the last auditions actually began, the press pulled me, Kayla, and the third finalist—a girl named Ellise—aside, sat us down one at a time, and interviewed us. At first, I was worried that I'd be asked about my background and where I'd come from, things I couldn't say because of what they were. But fortunately, the reporter was more interested in why I wanted to be a part of LOVELESS and what the play and the role of Sarah meant to me. Those things I _could _talk about, and I did, giving the camera plenty of smiles while I was at it.

Then the auditions began, with breaks in between for commercials and commentary by the press. Kayla went first, doing such a wonderful job it drew thunderous applause from the crowd. Ellise went next after the break, her own performance just as good as Kayla's. Then, after the second intermission, it was my turn.

For today, I'd prepared a longer scene to better show my range and abilities to go with Sarah's most famous ballad. As I strode out onto the stage under the lights, I forgot about the crowd and just focused on the moment, on what I had come here to do. Then I began, pouring myself into the scene and the music as I'd done all week, being her, giving it all I had and hitting every note perfectly. And when I was finished, I fixed my eyes on the audience, my head held high.

The applause wasn't just loud this time. It was _deafening._

Although inwardly I was amazed and overwhelmed by it all, on the outside, I kept up my confident exterior as I took my bow amongst the cheers and applause. It actually went on for a full minute or two before it eventually died away as I left the stage. There was a longer break this time as I waited backstage with Kayla and Ellise while the director and the assistant director made their decision.

Then, about ten minutes later, it was time. We all went back out on stage, side by side, and the butterflies came back, attacking my stomach with a vengeance. In spite of it, I stayed calm and collected, though I'll admit it took nearly as much acting to pull that off as it had to perform my audition. I'd never been so nervous in my life.

After the journalists had finished their commentary, the stage went dark for a moment, and then three brilliant spotlights converged on us. Most theater auditions weren't like this, of course. But LOVELESS was more than just a play. It was a part of Midgar's culture. And choosing a new Sarah was always a major event, the final audition a spectacle that virtually all of Midgar watched.

The number of butterflies in my stomach practically doubled when the drum roll struck. Taking a deep breath, I reached out to either side of me, taking Kayla's and Ellise's hands in mine. This was it. After a last word with Ms. Chere, Mr. Cole stood up, microphone in hand, and the crowd hushed in anticipation as he joined us on stage.

"Ladies and gentlemen," he began. "The choosing of a new Sarah is no easy thing, and these three wonderful young women have made this even more challenging with their amazing performances today and all week long. However, only one of them can be Sarah. Cecily and I have come to a decision, one that was not easy to make but which we believe is the best choice for LOVELESS and Midgar itself."

He paused, and I felt my breath catch in my throat as we waited for him to make the big announcement. The girls squeezed my hands, and I did the same for theirs. We had competed for the role, but we were all still friends, encouraging each other, and that wasn't going to change. I wouldn't let it. The moment seemed to stretch on forever, and then Mr. Cole turned away from the audience and looked at each of us in turn. I met his kind gaze as it swept over me, and when he lifted his mic back up to his face, the butterflies in my stomach suddenly became an army and I had to tighten my grip on the girls' hands to stay calm. I felt them doing the same and knew they were just as nervous.

Mr. Cole finally spoke. "LOVELESS Theater is proud to announce that the new Sarah is… Jessie Jae!"

My hands flew to my mouth as my stomach dropped like a freight elevator and the crowd literally _erupted_ in cheers and applause. I could barely see through the tears streaming down my face as my mouth fell open and I gasped and tried to remember how to breathe. And before I knew it, Kayla was hugging me and laughing.

"You did it, girl!" she cheered, her own eyes wet. "You did it!"

"I'm sorry you didn't get the part," I told her.

Kayla just hugged me tighter. "Don't worry about it. You getting it's the next best thing!"

Then Ellise embraced me after Kayla let go. After she was finished and had congratulated me, I took a breath to calm myself, then moved up to the front of the stage to join Mr. Cole. As I stood alongside him, I gazed out in wonder at the crowd. They were on their feet, all of them, the sound even louder than when I'd finished my audition.

I almost cried again at the sheer sight of it and realizing that it was all for me but somehow kept it together. I smiled, happier than I could ever remember being, and when Mr. Cole handed me the microphone, I knew what to do. As the lucky winner and the play's new star, I had to give a little speech. After all of the cheers and applause had faded away and everyone had sat down again, I began.

"Everyone, thank you so much. Being in LOVELESS, being Sarah, has always been a dream of mine, ever since I was a little girl. And now it's come true. I can't tell you how honored I am to have been chosen to be in this historic play and take on such a beloved role. I want to thank my good friend and fellow actress, Kayla, without whom I wouldn't be here today. She went for the role too, as you know, but was always there for me when I needed her."

I went on. "Someone else I want to highlight is my mom. Although she… isn't here… she was the one who introduced me to the theater as a child and encouraged me to pursue it. She took me to see LOVELESS so many times. And now I'm a part of it. I know… I know that… she'd be proud of me, of what I've accomplished."

"LOVELESS is a Midgar tradition and an indelible part of this city, and it's a pleasure to be the new Sarah," I finished. Then I grinned and pointed at the audience with my free hand. "The curtain's gonna rise in three weeks, so I'd better see you all there!"


	13. TWELVE

**TWELVE**

There was a soft knock on my dressing room door. It was opening night for LOVELESS, three weeks after I'd won the role. I'd thought I'd been overwhelmed then, but the Monday after the final audition, I got a call from Mr. Cole, the director, wanting me to come in that day for a photo shoot. I had hurried over, excited and more than a little curious. It wasn't every new Sarah that got an invitation like that. Cassie Raleine wasn't the poster girl despite having had the part before me.

As I had entered the theater, I had felt those butterflies rising in my stomach again. Was that what this was about? My daydreams as a little girl about LOVELESS had always featured me being on the posters that were all over Midgar, but even though I'd landed the role, I hadn't even thought about that part of it. Being the poster girl was something only given to the best of the best. Did Mr. Cole and others really think I was that good? It was almost too much to hope for.

But that's exactly what it was.

So I had gotten into costume, just as I was now. It was a sleeveless, black satin evening dress, modestly cut, the skirt hanging down to just above my knees, and a set of matching heels. After I was ready, we had begun the shoot. The photographers had taken picture after picture as I had posed one way and then another the way they'd told me. The one they ended up using—the one that's still painted above the theater and on all the play's posters and flyers—was a little tricky to pull off, but we had all agreed it was the best one.

Getting my hair to look just right was the tough part. They used an air machine set off to the side to lightly blow on it so it would look as if it had been caught in a soft breeze. It took quite a few tries to get it the way we wanted it. The background had simply come from a screen that had been set up a few feet behind me.

As for the pose itself—the one with my hand over my heart—I had kept my eyes open at first, as the photographers had suggested, looking right at the camera. But after he had taken a few shots, I had hit on the idea of closing my eyes instead, my head slightly down and to the right. Sarah was a troubled heroine, after all. And I had felt that the photo of me as her should embody that. So on impulse, I had assumed the pose I'd thought of, drawing on my memories of all I'd gone through during my days at Shinra to bring emotion to the shot and convey the kind of woman Sarah was and what she was going through.

She and I weren't all that different.

And that's how my famous poster shot came to be. It was still a bit unreal, seeing myself up there in the newly-repainted mural and on the posters inside the theater and in so many other places across town. But it was no dream this time. I'd already been spotted and recognized here and there by passersby, even signed a few autographs. It was fun, to be sure, though it still felt a bit strange to me to realize I was something of a celebrity now. Probably even more once the play hit.

"Come in!" I called.

It was Reeve. "Hello, Jessica. I just thought I'd stop by and wish you luck tonight."

"Reeve, hi!" I smiled. "Thanks!"

"You're welcome. Oh, and I brought an old friend to see you."

I blinked, curious as to who he could have meant. Then I gasped in surprise and delight as a short, familiar figure hopped into the room. It was Cait Sith, his tail twitching behind him as he skipped right over to where I was sitting in my makeup chair in front of the mirror. Before I knew it, he had jumped up into my lap.

"Cait!" I hugged him.

I hadn't seen him since leaving Shinra almost five months ago, and I had missed him and his quirky sense of humor. Through Reeve, I had been able to keep tabs on what was happening at Shinra. My father was still looking for me, and the story Shinra had been feeding to the press and public lately was that I'd been kidnapped shortly after leaving work one day. They didn't know where I was yet, but the fear of being found always lingered in the back of my mind nevertheless.

Cait returned the hug, his long whiskers tickling my cheek just like they always did. "Hi, lassie! Yer doin' well."

"Seems that way," I laughed, letting go. "I've missed you."

"Aye, same here. Ready fer the spotlight?"

I grinned. "You bet! I've been waiting for this my whole life. I'm so glad you two are here to see it."

Reeve nodded. "So are we. How are you holding up?"

"A few nerves," I admitted. "But it's nothing I can't handle."

"That's good to hear. Cait and I will be watching the show from the executive suite. I saw your audition, remember? You were magnificent, Jessica. Truly. You do have a gift."

I could help blushing. "Thank you…"

I'd seen Reeve after the final audition when he had come backstage to congratulate me, but I didn't mind him complimenting me again on my performance. It was nice and helped my confidence a lot, which he had probably intended in the first place.

"LOVELESS, eh?" he chuckled, his hands in his pockets. "So much for keeping a low profile."

I giggled sheepishly. "Ah, yeah… sorry about that."

Reeve smiled. "It's quite alright, Jessica. I guess I can't really blame you. It's the biggest role in the city, after all."

We chatted for a little longer, and before long it was time for me to go on up stage and make my debut. After Reeve and Cait had left and I had put a few finishing touches on my makeup and hair, I went up the short hall to the stage and waited for the curtain to rise.

The show was wonderful, everything I had hoped it would be—the lights, the sounds, the costumes—all of it. I felt as if I had stepped into one of my old dreams and had to remind myself this was real. And the audience was huge and enjoyed it as well. The place was packed, full of faces. So many people, of all ages and descriptions.

While I was performing, my eye happened to fall upon a guy in the front row. From the purple uniform, I could tell he was in SOLDIER. It wasn't unheard of for Shinra personnel to come see the play—I'd heard people talk about it now and then when I was still working there—but I hadn't known anyone from SOLDIER ever had.

The guy was cute enough, with his bright blue eyes, short-cropped brown hair, and clean-shaven face, and a metal helmet sat forgotten on his lap as he watched the show intently. At one point, our eyes met, and I felt a flutter chase its way through my stomach. Then I moved on and brought my attention back to the play, putting the guy in the front row out of my mind. He was just another face in a very large crowd.

Or so I thought at the time.

* * *

We met a few months later.

He was always there in the front row, night after night, watching as I performed. I wondered at first how he could afford to go so often, but then I realized he must've bought season tickets. He seemed to like the show a lot, and my eyes wandered over to him more and more often as time went on. Whenever his eyes met mine, he'd always look away after a moment or two, his cheeks pink. Who knew SOLDIERs could blush? I thought it was adorable that a fighter like that could also be so shy. It reminded me of that awkward young trooper I'd met in my first year at Shinra and the crush I'd had on him and his sexy voice.

I left the theater one evening after finishing up the after-show meet and greet and autograph session the cast, crew, and I always had for the VIP ticket holders. It was a fun little event, and I liked chatting with all my fans and taking a few pictures. After saying goodnight to the others while the staff locked up the place for the night, I headed on down the sidewalk, intending to make my way home like I usually did. But I was hungry, so I decided to get something to eat instead.

Goblin's Bar was just across the street, so I decided on that. I'd been there once or twice when I'd still been performing at the Starlight, and it was a nice little place. Cozy, with lots of tables, nice décor, music, and of course, the bar itself. It hadn't changed, and I was about to go find a place to sit when I saw him.

He was at the bar, his back to me as he talked with the bartender. I stepped around the corner for a moment to listen, still as curious as I'd ever been. I never had shaken my little habit of eavesdropping. While I tried to hear the guy, I took a closer look at him. Like always, he was in his sleeveless purple uniform, with a plain broadsword on his back and a black leather harness fitted around his waist, the straps going over his shoulders. His helmet sat on the bar near him. I couldn't see those nice blue eyes of his from here, though.

"You saw LOVELESS again?" the bartender quipped.

The guy nodded, sipping his drink. "Yeah. I like it. You know that, Rick. Always have. It's a good play."

Rick wiped a glass and grinned. "You like _her,_ I think."

"What? I-I dunno what you mean!"

"Oh, come on, buddy," Rick raised an eyebrow. "I ain't dense. The new actress they got playin' Sarah."

The guy sighed, but when he turned his head for a moment, I saw his mouth turn upward in a small smile. Did he… have a crush on me? I couldn't help smiling myself a little at that thought. He wouldn't have been the first guy to be interested in me since I'd started at LOVELESS. I'd gotten lots of love letters since then, even a few marriage proposals, if you can believe it. I never answered them, though.

Kayla loved to tease me about it, and we often read them together, out loud and as melodramatically as possible. If we could manage to do it without laughing our heads off, that was. Most of the letters were just the eager fantasies of guys who were into my looks and the fact I was a famous actress but didn't talk much about anything else. Some of them were even a bit… suggestive, if you know what I mean. And those ones went straight to the trash bin.

The guy at the bar glanced back at Rick. "She _is_ great, isn't she? I've never seen a girl play Sarah so well. And she's got the voice of an angel. You should hear her sing. She's amazing!"

"Doesn't hurt that she's damn gorgeous, too," Rick added.

"True, but that's beside the point. I've been watchin' LOVELESS for years, Rick. And Jessie Jae's the best in the role that I've ever seen. They put her up there on the poster for a reason, you know."

Rick nodded. "That all you like about her?"

"No," the guy answered. "I think there's more to her than she shows everyone. Just look at that poster of her, the emotion on her face. What was she thinking about when they took that photo? What did she feel? I've always wondered about that."

For a moment, I just stood there, surprised and touched. He wasn't just another lovestruck fan, as I'd thought at first. He seemed to know a lot about the play, and he wasn't going on about how good he thought I looked, either. I felt like he honestly appreciated me as a performer and had a genuine interest in me as a person. It was wonderfully sweet and very refreshing. I felt my stomach flutter again as I looked at him. Silly butterflies. They always had a way of showing up.

"You've got a VIP ticket," Rick said. "Why don't you ask her?"

The guy shook his head. "I wouldn't know what to say to her, Rick. And besides, you only get a minute to meet her, get her autograph, and if you're lucky, have a picture with her. I wish I could just talk with her for a bit, get to know her. The real her, I mean."

_Well, hon,_ I thought. _You're about to get your chance._

Smoothing out the front of my dress, I strode out from behind the corner as if I had just walked inside. I had changed out of my costume before leaving the theater, and the blue sleeveless dress I wore now was a casual one that swished around my thighs as I moved. I had to stifle a grin as Rick's eyes went wide and he nearly dropped the glass he'd been holding when he saw me coming.

"Uh…" he looked from me to the guy. "Don't look now, buddy, but I think your wish just walked through the door."

"What…?" the guy blinked.

He turned around in his seat and froze, his mouth falling open and his eyes growing to the size of dinner plates as he watched me go up to the bar. I sat down a few stools over from him, not looking at him right away. Thought I'd play it casual at first, you know. Give him a chance to let it sink in. After Rick came over and took my order, I sat quietly for a few minutes as the SOLDIER shook off his amazement and turned his gaze firmly on his glass. His eyes darted my way every so often as if he were trying to convince himself I was really there.

After a few minutes, I gave him a soft little smile. "Hi…"

"A-Are you… talking to me?" he asked.

"No one else over here," I laughed softly. "Do you have a name? Or should I just guess?"

The guy swallowed. "Kunsel. I-It's Kunsel."

I liked it. "Nice to meet you, Kunsel. My name's Jessie."

"J-Jessie Jae," he breathed. "It's really you, isn't it? Sorry, it's just… I mean… W-What I'm tryin' to say is…"

"It's okay," I assured him. "I understand."

He took a deep breath. "Thanks. I… I was just surprised, that's all. Never thought I'd get to talk with you like this."

Good, he was starting to relax. Kunsel lifted his head from his glass and looked at me fully for the first time. He was still nervous, but he at least seemed calmer now. Seeing me here must've been quite a shock to him, but he was doing well enough now that we were talking. I decided to take things a step further.

"That seat taken?" I pointed to the one next to him.

Kunsel gulped, lifted his helmet off the stool, and put it on the bar. "N-No! Not at all! Please sit down, Ms. Jae."

I chuckled as I moved over to join him. "Call me Jessie."

"A-Alright… Jessie," he nodded.

"I saw you at the show tonight," I said as I sat down. "Front row. In the middle. Every night, actually."

Kunsel laughed a little. "Yeah. I really like it."

I did the same as Rick brought me my dinner and drink. "I can tell. Have you been coming to see it for a long time?"

"For years," Kunsel answered. "Not always this often, though."

"Really? So… why's it different now?"

He swallowed. "Um, well… you, to be honest."

Glad to see him admitting it. "Thanks. But what is it about me that makes you want to come to the show every night?"

"I…" he began.

"It's okay," I reached out and lightly touched his arm. "Don't be shy. You can tell me."

When he smiled at me, I felt those butterflies in my stomach again. And those bright blue eyes of his were to die for. He looked down for a moment at where my fingers were resting on the skin above his elbow, as if checking to make sure he hadn't imagined it.

Then he looked back up at me. "You're really talented, you know? I think that's one of the things I like the most about you. How much you love what you do. It's not hard to see when you're up there on stage. It's pretty cool to watch, actually."

Now I was the one blushing. "Thank you…"

"Sure," Kunsel replied. "Um… can I ask you something?"

"Of course," I nodded.

He went on. "That poster of yours. I've always wondered what you were thinking about when they took that photo, what you were feeling. If you don't mind sharing, that is. Just seems as if you put a lot of heart into that pose, you know? Like it wasn't just something you were doing as part of your work. But that you really understood her."

I'd been hoping he'd bring that up. Not because I wanted to brag or anything, though. I liked him, and while I'd probably already made his day just by being here and talking with him, I wanted to give him some of what he'd been hoping for.

I thought for a moment. "I do, Kunsel. I've been through a lot, like her. Before I came to the stage, I mean. When I was posing for the shot in the poster, I was thinking about… those hard times, people I've lost. The pain, it never really goes away. But you learn to live with it. For the poster, I let myself feel it, the hurt inside. Sarah's reflecting on what she lost, what she's endured. Just like I was."

"Yeah…" he murmured. "I know what you mean. And… thank you for telling me, Jessie."

"My pleasure," I smiled.

We talked for a while longer about all sorts of things—LOVELESS, Kunsel's work in SOLDIER, my time at the Starlight and the Honeybee Lounge, and all kinds of mundane, ordinary things like what shows we liked or what music we listened to. And when we got to what foods we enjoyed, he couldn't help laughing at my answer.

"Pizza?" he chuckled. "Really? A big star like you?"

I giggled. "Yep! Surprised?"

Kunsel grinned. "Yeah. Thought you'd be more into something like caviar. Fancy stuff like that, you know?"

"Ugh, not me! I tried it once at a dinner party for the whole cast of the play, and I hated it. Totally disgusting! Just give me a nice, hot pizza with lots of cheese and toppings instead."

"Sounds good to me," he agreed.

I laughed. "Even got my own recipe, you know. I call it the Midgar Special. Came up with it while I was still performing at the Starlight. It is _so_ good! Only the finest ingredients."

"I'd love to try it sometime," Kunsel said.

I winked. "We'll see."

After I had finished eating, I pushed back my plate as Kunsel and I settled into a comfortable silence for a bit. I wasn't in any rush to leave, and neither was he. For a while, we just sat together and listened to the low murmur of conversation and the music filling the air. It came from a piano—a real one, an upright made out of polished wood, not one of those electronic synthesizers—set next to the far wall.

A man in a white button-down shirt and a dark gray vest sat on the bench playing it. He'd been doing it all night, his fingers flying skillfully across the keys as the notes sounded sweetly in our ears. On top of the piano sat a glass tip jar a little more than half full, and as I sat listening to the music, an idea suddenly sprang into my mind.

"So, do you dance?" I asked Kunsel.

He stared at me in disbelief, his nervousness quickly coming back. "I-I don't know how…"

Standing up, I took his hand. "I'll show you."

"Really?" he marveled. "You want to dance… with _me?"_

"Thought you'd never ask," I smirked.

Kunsel got up, and I led him out onto the dance floor. There were a few others here, but not very many, and not close, so it almost felt as if we had the whole place to ourselves. The song the guy was playing was a sweet, slow melody, one I'd heard before and had always loved. When Kunsel and I were in a good spot, I slid an arm up around his neck and put one of his around my waist.

He looked at me. "A-Am I doing this right?"

"You're doing fine," I assured him. Then I held out my other hand. "Just relax, okay? Take my hand."

"Alright…" he said.

Taking a deep breath, Kunsel clasped my free hand in his, and I felt my skin tingle as butterflies attacked my stomach again. Being so close to him was wonderful, and I couldn't help being a little nervous myself. I hid it pretty well, though—I was an actress, after all. Giving Kunsel an encouraging smile, I led at first to show him how it was done, and then after a bit, I let him take over.

"Just follow the music," I said. "Nice and easy."

"Like this?" he asked.

Kunsel guided me around the dance floor, gently and easily. I was impressed, to say the least.

"Not bad!" I told him. "Seems you're pretty good at this."

"Always been a quick study," he quipped.

We danced, our eyes never leaving each other, the piano filling our ears with its music. Kunsel was a little taller than me, maybe half a foot or so. Perfect height, in my humble opinion. He looked to be about my age, too, or maybe a little older. I hadn't asked him yet. There was still a lot for us to learn about each other.

Kunsel gazed wonderingly at me. "I gotta be dreamin'…"

"Why's that?" I asked.

"Being here, with you. Dancing with you. Jessie Jae… _the_ Jessie Jae. I keep expecting to wake up, you know?"

I smiled. "It's no dream, Kunsel. Neither am I."

We danced for a while longer, and when the song finally ended, we walked back to the bar to pick up our things and pay our bills. Then we headed outside, Kunsel waving to a bemused Rick on the way out. This was definitely a night he wasn't going to forget. When we emerged out onto the sidewalk, we both stopped for a minute, neither of us wanting to go our separate ways just yet.

Kunsel swallowed. "Well… thanks, Jessie. For tonight, I mean. And for letting me get to know you a little."

"You're welcome, Kunsel," I said. "I had a great time."

"Me, too…" he agreed.

We still didn't move. I could feel the butterflies circling again, and I could tell Kunsel's initial shyness was creeping back in, too. I was pretty sure why. I just hoped he'd take the plunge and ask me out. If he didn't, I planned to ask him myself, but I wanted to give him a chance to do it himself first. Might need a little push, though.

I slid my purse onto my shoulder. "Goodnight, then. I guess I'll see you at the play, like always."

"Y-Yeah…" he said. "Goodnight…"

"Take care, okay?" I told him.

I waved at Kunsel and started to walk away, but I'd only gone a few steps when I heard him call my name. "Jessie? W-Wait, um…"

"Yes?" I turned back to him, my heart racing.

_Come on, you can do it! I know you can!_

He laid those beautiful blue eyes on me. "Would… would you like to have dinner together tomorrow night?"

I smiled. "I'd love to."

"Really!?" The way his face lit up was so sweet to watch.

"Yeah. Meet me outside the theater after the show? I get done with the VIP stuff at around 8:00."

Kunsel nodded. "Sure! Stephen's Restaraunt?"

That sounded great. "Perfect! I _love_ a good, juicy steak."

"Me too! So… it's a date?"

"Sounds like one to me," I giggled.

He grinned. "Great! I'll see you tomorrow, then."

"Oh, just a second, let me give you something before you go," I told him. I opened my purse, took out a pen and a scrap of paper, and then wrote down my phone number. After signing it, I handed it to Kunsel. "Here you go! That's my private number, not the public one the theater gave me for official stuff."

"Thanks!" he gazed at it for a moment. "Nice autograph, too."

I laughed. "It's all yours."

Kunsel put the paper in his pocket. "I'm not gonna lose it, that's for sure. Goodnight, Jessie."

Moving close to him, I leaned in and touched my lips to his cheek, holding them there for a moment before pulling away, my eyes finding his as I stepped back with a smile. My heart was racing the whole time. Kunsel gasped, his eyes widening, and he reached up to touch the place where I had kissed him as he gazed at me.

"Goodnight, Kunsel," I whispered, walking away.


	14. THIRTEEN

**THIRTEEN**

The next night, Kunsel was waiting for me outside, just like we had planned. He stood patiently by the theater doors, smiling when he saw me. He'd watched the show, of course, front row center like always. But he wasn't wearing his SOLDIER uniform tonight. Just some nice casual clothes instead, a white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows and a pair of dark pants and shoes.

"Hi!" I waved, walking over to him.

His blue eyes lit up when he saw me. "Hi, Jessie! You were great up there tonight, you know that?"

I laughed. "Thanks, Kunsel. Wait long?"

"Not too much," he shrugged. "Are you ready?"

"Whenever you are," I nodded.

He swallowed, then offered me his arm. Still a bit nervous, I guess. But I couldn't blame him. I had some butterflies flying around my own stomach, after all. And looking at him for too long didn't help much. It was hard for me to do anything else, though. I liked him. A skilled and trained fighter but also caring, decent, insightful, and a real joy to look at. His short brown hair was nicely parted to one side, and as I slipped my arm through his, I admired it for a moment.

As for me, I wore a nice, shoulderless red dress. Short, like most of the ones I had, reaching almost to my knees. It was cut more modestly than some of my other dresses, leaving my arms bare aside from a wide stretch of fabric just below my shoulders, and was a darker red, almost burgundy, with a pair of matching heels.

We were just starting to head down the sidewalk when suddenly a girl in a bright pink dress hurried over to us from near the alley on the other side of the theater. She looked to be around my age, maybe a year younger, and had the most vibrant green eyes I'd ever seen. Her brown hair was tied back in a long, thick braid with a cheerful ribbon that was the same pink as her dress, and she also wore a short-sleeved red jacket with pockets in the front along with a pair of plain brown boots. There was a liveliness to her that I liked at once.

From her arm hung an old, faded wicker basket, and I had to blink to make sure I wasn't seeing things when I realized what inside of it. A collection of flowers—_real_ flowers! I'd never seen any before, only fake ones made out of silk. But these, these were _real_. Flowers didn't grow in Midgar. Neither did most plants. It was because of the reactors and the byproducts they released. At least, that's what I'd believed back then. It wasn't very far from the truth, though. I hadn't learned yet what mako really was or how its use was affecting things.

At the time, the girl's flowers fascinated me. How had she managed to grow them in this place? It was incredible, to say the least. The smell was wonderful, too. Not like the sprays they used on fake flowers. This was the real deal, and I was curious to know more about them and why the girl had brought them here.

"Hi there!" she smiled. "How would you like—Kunsel?"

She knew him? He nodded. "Yeah, it's me. Guess you didn't realize it without my uniform, huh?"

The girl chuckled. "Nope. And you have a date, too!"

"Uh, yeah," Kunsel blushed. "This is…"

"Jessie Jae, right?" she finished for him, offering me her hand.

I shook it. "Yeah. How'd you know?"

The girl giggled and pointed behind me at the huge mural over the theater's entrance. "Lucky guess."

"Oh!" I smiled. "It was, wasn't it?"

I laughed with her as I realized just how obvious it had been who I was. I'd simply gotten so used to the mural being up there over the past few months that I hardly even paid much attention to it anymore. I felt like I was starting to get used to my newfound fame a little, and the girl didn't seem the least bit fazed or overwhelmed to see me. She was very confident and relaxed, even a little snarky. I liked her already. I did still wonder how Kunsel knew her, though.

I looked at him. "So, you two have met before?"

"Yeah," he answered. "Aerith here's a friend of mine. And she's also important to my best buddy. He asked me to look in on her from time to time while he's gone, so I do that when I can. Speaking of which, are you ever gonna let me fix that cart for you, Aerith?"

"Nope!" she shook her head. "He'll do it when he gets back."

Kunsel shrugged. "Alright. So, is that why you started selling your flowers up here instead?"

Aerith smirked. "Yep. And business is good!"

"I can imagine," I agreed. "How do you do it, Aerith? The flowers, I mean. Never thought they'd grow here."

"In most places, they won't. But I've found a few spots where I can help them thrive. Good sun, good water, good soil, that sort of thing. It isn't always easy, but in the slums, nothing ever is."

I grinned. "Well, I gotta admit, I'm impressed. It's amazing!"

"Thanks, Jessie!" Aerith said. Then she whirled on Kunsel, putting her hands on her hips as she raised an eyebrow. "So! You've got a pretty girl with you tonight and you haven't even bought a flower from me for her yet? And on your first date, no less."

"I was, um… just getting to that," Kunsel stammered.

She held up her basket. "Well then, let's get down to business, shall we? I've got quite a selection here, you know. But why don't you let the lady decide? It's her first one, after all."

I took a closer look at the flowers. They were beautiful, all different kinds and colors. Mostly red, yellow, and white, but I also noticed a few blue and purple ones, too. Some had short petals while others had long ones. It was pretty hard to pick just one, actually. They were all so nice. But eventually, I chose a bright red tulip. Aerith smiled and took it out of her old wicker basket.

"How much?" Kunsel asked.

She thought for minute a she held the flower. "Hmm, let's see… for you guys… it's on the house."

He shook his head. "You don't have to do that. I'll pay."

"Come on, Kunsel," Aerith rolled her eyes. "You're supposed to say, 'Thanks for the wonderful gift!' Don't you know that?"

"Uh, thanks for the wonderful gift, Aerith," he told her.

She bowed. "You're welcome! Here you go!"

I chuckled as she handed it to me. "Thank you, both of you."

"My pleasure," Aerith said. "Now, you two run along and have fun! I'll see you around, okay?"

"You bet! And it was great meeting you, Aerith."

She waved. "Same to you, Jessie. Bye!"

Kunsel and I waved back, then walked off down the sidewalk while Aerith headed in the opposite direction, which would eventually bring her to the train station further down the road. I brought the tulip up to my nose and smelled its fragrant aroma as I made my way up the street with Kunsel toward the restaurant.

* * *

Dinner was awesome—a nice, juicy steak, piping hot baked potato with cheese, bacon, and sour cream, salad, and a deep red wine. Kunsel and I talked a lot while we ate, and while the butterflies seemed to have taken up a holding pattern in my stomach, I had a great time getting to know him better. And I think he felt the same way about me. He made me laugh and feel happier than I'd been in a long time.

At one point, a married couple maybe a little older than us came to the table. They were a little hesitant at first, the wife being a bit awed to see me up close, but I said hi and encouraged them to stay a moment. I didn't mind fans like this. Kunsel nodded to them but let me handle it, a little nervous about it all. When the wife shyly held out a flyer for me to sign, I smiled and autographed it for her. Once they had thanked me and walked away, Kunsel looked at me in amusement.

"Does that happen a lot?" he asked.

I nodded. "Sometimes. You'll get used to it."

Kunsel laughed. "If I'm lucky enough to spend more time with you after tonight, that is."

"I think there's a pretty good chance of that," I winked.

After dinner, we walked back up the street the way we'd come since my apartment was in that direction. But when we got there, I suddenly had an idea. I took Kunsel by the hand and led him back to the theater, giggling the whole time. My heart skipped a beat when I felt his fingers touch mine, and my nerves were all over the place.

He blinked. "What are we doing?"

"You'll see!" I told him. "It'll be fun, trust me!"

We reached the theater a few minutes later. It was closed now, but I had a spare key. One of the perks of being a headliner. Handing Kunsel my flower for a moment, I opened my purse, took out the key, opened the door, and put it back. Then I took the tulip in hand, grinned widely at him, and motioned for him to follow me inside.

I flipped on a few lights once we entered the lobby, then led Kunsel through another locked door and down a short hall, giving him a little tour of the theater the way I saw and experienced it. We passed several offices—ones for the director, assistant director, producer, and a couple others—peeked into the prop and equipment storage areas, and finally came to a row of dressing rooms. Mine was at the end, right next to the door leading to the stage.

"So, this is where you get ready for the show?" Kunsel marveled as we entered my dressing room.

I smiled. "Yeah. Pretty big, isn't it?"

He nodded, looking around and taking it all in, seeing my makeup chair, the wide mirror with the lights around it, and the closet that held the different costumes I wore for the play. The black dress was only one of them, since Sarah had a lot of different scenes. Another door led to a private restroom and shower. I watched as Kunsel walked around and, with a nod from me, touched the costumes and felt the fabric between his fingers, a look of awe on his face.

"I never thought I'd be able to see any of this…" he murmured. "It's really amazing."

"Oh, we're not done yet," I winked.

Across from my dressing room was the green room, or lounge. We stepped in for a minute so Kunsel could get a look at it. This was where me and the other performers often hung out when we weren't on stage. There were several upholstered chairs, a few plushly cushioned sofas, a TV, even a small fridge filled with sodas and water. A pair of curtained windows looked out on the street below.

Lastly, I led Kunsel through the door to the stage, though he didn't know yet where we were going. I wanted to surprise him, you see. The lights were off, and I only turned on the ones closest to the door so we could see each other and what we were doing.

"What's this?" he asked.

I smirked. "You'll see. Go on ahead. I'll catch up."

Kunsel blinked, then did as I said, walking across the wooden floor into the dimness and stopping about thirty feet or so away, glancing up into the high ceiling but not seeing anything but darkness. Good. He'd gone as far as I'd hoped he would. While he was still over there, I found the curtain controls and hit the switch to make it rise.

He whirled around at the sound of the curtain going up, and while that was happening, I switched on more of the lights as well, enough to let Kunsel see and understand exactly where he was. I walked over and joined him as his eyes widened and he finally realized he was on stage. He turned, looking at it all in wonder, then gazed out at all the rows of empty seats in the auditorium. They rose up at an angle, higher as they went back, with multiple levels as well.

"Wow…" Kunsel breathed, his jaw on the floor.

"Surprise!" I laughed. "So, what do you think, Kunsel? Last stop on our little tour. But it sure is the best."

He nodded. "You're not kidding, Jessie. It's incredible…"

I pointed toward the enclosed area in the middle of the uppermost level of the auditorium. "That's the executive suite, where a few Shinra officials and other high-level guests like Mayor Domino view the play. I met him once, actually."

"Really?" Kunsel asked.

"Mmm-hmm. On opening night. He and Director Tuesti visited us backstage, the whole cast, after the show to congratulate us. Domino's a bit of a character, but he seemed nice enough."

He laughed. "I've heard he's a little eccentric, yeah."

I led Kunsel to the front of the stage and pointed below us. "Down there's the orchestra pit. You've probably seen it a little from where you sit, but not like this, huh?"

"No," he shook his head. "It's all new to me."

"We don't use any prerecorded music for the show. It's all done live. Better that way, I think. Don't you?"

He smiled. "I do. Makes each performance a little different."

"Exactly!" I agreed.

"So," Kunsel gazed out across the auditorium as we stood together. "This is how you see it. This is your world…"

I moved closer to him. "Yeah. Do you like it?"

"I love it…" he said.

The butterflies swarming now, I sat down with Kunsel there at the front of the stage, our legs hanging over the edge. At first, neither of us said anything, and I took a little comfort in knowing he was as nervous as I was. Then, my hand found his, my heart racing when they touched again and our fingers slid together.

"I'm glad you liked this little peek into who I am," I told him.

Kunsel nodded. "I did, Jessie. Thank you."

I smiled. "You're welcome, Kunsel. Although… I was kinda hoping you'd thank me in another way…

"How?" he wondered.

I leaned closer to him. "Like this…"

Swallowing my nerves, I let my gaze fall to his mouth, put my hand on the side of Kunsel's face, and kissed him. My body felt warm all over when my lips covered his and my eyes slid shut. He eagerly returned it, gently taking me into his arms as his mouth moved against mine. I put my own arms over his shoulders, my blood on fire as the kiss deepened and our lips pressed against each other.

Kunsel stroked my cheek when we finally came up for air. "If this is a dream, don't wake me…"

"Oh, it's real alright," I teased. "Need a pinch?"

"I'll take your word for it," he chuckled.

After laughing together for a minute, we found each other again in another kiss, our lips moving softly but insistently against each other. I felt my skin tingling as we kept at it, our mouths touching and moving away and touching again. It was almost magical, sitting there with him in the empty theater as he held me in his arms and made me feel more happy and alive than I'd ever known.

Kunsel and I sat there for a while, sharing tender kisses as my heart hammered inside me and my stomach did one leaping somersault after another. In the warm glow of the stage lights, I knew that I'd found the last and best part of my new life, something that I'd never even known was missing. I felt like maybe, just maybe, I could finally begin to move on and leave the pain of my past behind me.

For the first time since I'd left Shinra, I felt free.

* * *

About two months or so later, I was relaxing on my couch at home reading Mom's diary. My relationship with Kunsel was going well. I let out a smile and a happy sigh whenever I thought of him. Sure, we were still in the honeymoon stage, but neither of us was in any rush to move out of that. Kayla had squealed in delight when I'd told her I finally had a boyfriend and had hugged me so tightly I'd thought she'd squeeze the life out of me. If she didn't snap me in two, that was. She was infamous around the Starlight for her energy and enthusiasm.

She had bugged me for details, but I didn't tell her much, not even his name. Kunsel and I had agreed, after talking it over, to try and keep to a minimum the inevitable attention he'd get for being involved with me because of my fame as the new star of LOVELESS. He wasn't really comfortable with it, and I didn't blame him.

I also had another reason I wanted to keep him out of the spotlight as much as possible, a personal reason I didn't share with him but kept to myself. The less that anyone knew about him, the harder it would be for my father to find out about him. I hadn't told Kunsel about my past yet—I didn't know how—but I cared about him too much to let him be hurt by it or anything that might happen because of it.

Anyway, I'd learned a lot about Mom from her diary. Not just what she'd known about my father's activities, but how afraid she was, for me as well as herself. And how, even in the face of that, she had refused to give up hope of making things better for us. Although it hadn't turned out that way, I knew she'd be happy to know how well I was doing now and that her struggles had been worth it.

I also came to understand a little better how much Mom had loved me. She was gone, and I still missed her a lot, but reading her thoughts about all the mischief I used to get into when I was a little girl and how proud she'd been of me, both for my acting and my achievements when I had gone to work at Shinra in Systems Operation, had helped a lot to ease the pain. I kept my apartment spotlessly clean these days to honor her memory and tell her I loved her.

The more recent entries had been largely about Reeve and her plan to get me and her out on our own. And I learned a little about her long friendship with him, too. She'd always spoken fondly about him in her writing, and although she had always been careful in what she had said about him, I'd begun to wonder. And as I was sitting there reading one of her final entries, I grew even more intrigued.

_I'm almost ready. It's been so long, so many years to get to this point. But it's finally here. Aria gave me what could be the key to it all. I wish I could thank her, but Shinra killed her for what she knew. Richard saw to that. Yet another thing he'll have to answer for. She and I were friends for a long time, and we'd__had a lot in common. We were both trapped in jobs we had come to hate, singing Shinra's praises to the public on the outside while on the inside, we were screaming._

_Ironic that Shinra's head of Public Relations hates the very company she's obligated to represent. But so many years of having to put a positive, blatantly false spin on Shinra's numerous atrocities or simply cover them up entirely kept eating away at me. I hadn't wanted Jessica to work at the company and would've preferred that she stay in the theater instead. But her love of computers and machines is as strong as her acting talent, and so I helped her get the job in Systems Operation._

_Reeve has been such a lifesaver for me over these past few years, and I'm glad that there's someone at Shinra I can trust to look out for Jessica. He and I have been friends since we were children in the slums. We'd just sit sometimes, looking up at the plate, and dream of going up there to see the big city and make a name for ourselves._

_If only we'd known._

_We've both come far from those days, but I know it's not what either of us had pictured. Still… there might be hope for us yet. I made a choice a long time ago, one that I thought was right. But it wasn't. I can see that now. My marriage to Richard was a mistake, and I was foolish and blind to think that I could change him. The only good thing that's ever come of it has been Jessica, my wonderful daughter._

_Reeve's been so patient and understanding all these years, so good to me. And to Jessica as well. I'm glad they get along so well. I've never told her just what he is to her yet, what I asked him to be. I'll do that once she and I are finally free of Richard and on our own._

_And after that, once things have calmed down a bit and Jessica and I get all settled into our new life, I think__… __I think I'll give Reeve the chance I should've given him a long time ago. I know Jessica won't object. And it would be nice to finally see what I missed. It would make him happy, too. If he's still interested, that is. I… I hope he is._

When I was finished, I read it again, then closed the diary and put it down on the coffee table. Leaning back on the sofa, I mulled over all of what I'd learned, wondering what it meant. What was the choice that Mom had made so long ago? And what had she meant by giving Reeve a chance that she hadn't before?

At first, I didn't know, didn't get it. But then, a memory came to my mind. That last day at the train station, when Reeve and I had seen her off. The way she had looked at him when she'd been boarding the train. There had been something in her eyes. My own suddenly widened as I realized what it could've meant.

But a knock on the door kept me from thinking about it any more for the time being. Since I was becoming a bit of a celebrity in Midgar, my address wasn't public knowledge. I'd never had it listed anyway, and being in LOVELESS had helped me keep it that way. I didn't need visits from fans at odd hours, after all. There was a time and place for public interaction, and my home wasn't it.

Only three people knew where I lived. Kunsel, Reeve, and Andrea. And I trusted each of them. Four, if you counted Cait Sith. When I got up and opened the door, though, it wasn't any of them. I was surprised, to say the least, and all I could do at first was just stand there and gape, my mouth hanging open.

"Special delivery!" Aerith giggled.

She was holding a large bouquet of flowers in her hand, smiling as she offered them to me. No doubt they were from Kunsel, and while he knew where I lived, I'd never invited him up here yet. It was a step that I hadn't been in any rush to take and still wasn't. But sooner or later, I'd let him in. When I felt ready. We were taking things slow, but we didn't mind. I hadn't been to his place yet, either.

I smiled and took the flowers. "Thanks, Aerith. They're great! Did Kunsel send you?"

"Yep!" she said. "He's at his usual spot waiting for you."

"I won't keep him long, then. But why don't you come sit down for a minute? It's always good to see a friend."

Aerith walked inside. "Definitely. Thanks!"

I found a vase for the flowers and put them inside. "Sure! So, how's business? Still good, I hope."

"Yeah," she answered. "Lots of sales today!"

Kunsel and I saw her sometimes whenever she came to Sector 8 to sell her flowers. Aerith would often wait by the theater and peddle her flowers to the crowds of people going inside or outside before and after the show. Sometimes she got a lot of sales, and other days were slower, just like with any other business.

I put the vase in the middle of the coffee table, then sat down with Aerith on the couch. "Glad to hear it. I think people here need that sort of thing, you know?"

"That's right, Jessie. It's part of why I do what I do. To bring a smile and a little happiness to them. And speaking of which, today is exactly two months since you and Kunsel began seeing each other. With a little help from me, of course."

"How'd you know?" I chuckled.

Aerith winked. "He told me. That's what the bouquet's for."

I shot to my feet, my hand over my mouth. "Oh! I should've gotten him something, too!"

"Hmm… I've got an idea," she grinned impishly.

"What is it?" I asked.

Aerith stood up, cupped her mouth with her hand, and whispered in my ear. When I heard her suggestion, my eyes widened and my face went a bright tomato red. She was definitely _not_ some innocent dainty, that was for sure, even though she looked like one. When she was done talking, she stood back to see my reaction.

"_Aerith!"_ I stared at her, still blushing furiously.

She smirked. "Well? You _know_ he'll like it. And I'm pretty sure you will, too. You're both so into each other. It's cute!"

I looked away. "It _would_ be nice, but it's also a little scary…"

"What do you mean?" Aerith wondered.

"Just… never done it before, that's all," I answered.

She gasped. "Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make things awkward. I was just trying to help."

I smiled at her. "It's okay. You didn't know."

"Thanks," Aerith said. "I'm not trying to push you into anything. It was sort of a joke, really. So do what you feel is right."

"I will. And… I'll keep it mind."

She clapped her hands together as we walked to the door. "Great! I hope it all works out for you guys."

"So do I," I said. "It's just… I'm afraid to let him in."

"Into you. The real you," Aerith nodded.

I closed the door behind us as we headed downstairs. "Yeah. I want to, but… there are things I haven't told him about myself. They're hard to talk about, you know."

"But they're important," she said. "Right?"

"Yeah. They're part of who I am. Who I was. And… I don't think I could be with Kunsel in that way if I didn't tell him the truth first. If we were to ever… take that step… he should know just who it is he's being with. And I have to know it's safe. For both of us."

When we got to the door leading outside, Aerith put her hands on my shoulders, her green eyes firm. "Whatever trouble you're in, Jessie, remember that you're not alone. Kunsel cares about you a lot, and he'll back you no matter what."

"Are you sure about that?" I swallowed.

"Yeah," Aerith nodded. "I'm pretty good at reading people. Comes in handy in my line of work."

I really liked Kunsel, and while I trusted him, I'd still been carefully evasive whenever he would ask me about certain things. Such as where I grew up, who my parents were, that sort of thing. He'd never brought it up, though, and I was grateful that he hadn't pressed me about it. But I knew he deserved to have an explanation sooner or later if we wanted to keep our relationship going.

"Thanks," I said. "I… I think I'll tell him."

Aerith grinned. "Good! And don't forget, you've got me, too. If you ever need help, just shout and I'll come running. I've tangled a bit with Shinra myself, after all."

I stared at her. "Shinra? Why would you think—?"

"Who else would it be?" she explained. "They're the only ones that fit the bill, as big and as powerful as they are."

"You're pretty quick to pick up on things, you know?"

Aerith let go of me, and we walked outside. "Yeah, it's… just a little talent I have, I guess. But don't worry, Jessie. Your secret's safe with me. I can tell you're hiding from Shinra, or someone in there. I don't know who or why, and I don't need to."

I took her arm for a moment. "How do you know that!?"

"It's in your eyes," she told me. "I know that look because I've worn it too many times myself. It's the face of someone who's always looking over her shoulder. Most people wouldn't pick up on it, but I do. I know what it's like, believe me. I've been there."

"Why would Shinra be after you?" I wondered.

She laughed. "Maybe they just really like flowers! Who knows? But what matters is that you and I are the same, Jessie. Us hunted girls have to stick together. I know you're afraid, even though you hide it well. It's the actress in you, I bet."

I let go of her. "That's true. I'm used to wearing a mask."

"I know. But if you want things with Kunsel to work, you're gonna have to let him see behind it sooner or later."

"Yeah," I agreed. "It's just… I don't want him in danger."

Aerith smiled softly. "Shouldn't that be up to him? Just lay down all your cards and let him decide."

I nodded. "You're right, Aerith. It's his choice."

As we stood out on the sidewalk, I knew what I had to do. It was a little scary, but it was right. Kunsel and I had only been going out for a couple months, but we'd seen a lot of each other in that time, spending time just walking down the streets of Sector 8, having dinner together, or sharing drinks and dancing at Goblin's Bar.

He was actually getting to be pretty good at it now, even with some of the faster songs. And we always ended up laughing by the time we'd finished dancing to those. The slower songs were some of my favorites, though, the way he held me so close as we moved around the floor and our lips always came together by the end.

Aerith pointed at me and winked. "Yep! And like I told you before, he really cares about you, so I know he'll stick with you. So don't worry, it'll all work out fine. And whatever your situation is, Jessie, don't let it keep you down. _Now_ is what matters."

Then she giggled, waved, and walked down the road. I waved back at my friend, glad for her advice and support. Although I was sure that there was a lot more to her than she let on. Shinra wouldn't be after her if she was just a simple florist.

But whatever it was, I didn't know, and it didn't matter. Aerith had respected my privacy about my own situation, not pressing me for any details, so I would do the same for her. If she wanted to tell me about it sometime, that was fine, but I wasn't gonna ask her myself, either. And I knew she would never ask me about mine.

And then I remembered her rather naughty suggestion upstairs as I started heading toward the theater and Kunsel, and my cheeks turned pink as I thought it over. _"__You know, Jessie, you could always bring him up here, change into a sexy little number, __and give him one hell of a night to remember! How's that for a gift?__"_

Maybe, if things worked out, I would do just that.


	15. FOURTEEN

**FOURTEEN**

Kunsel was, as Aerith had said, in his usual spot near the theater. I smiled when I saw him, and his eyes lit up when I walked over to him. He was in his reddish-purple SOLDIER uniform tonight, so he must've only gotten off duty a little while ago. As always, he had left his helmet at home. I had to see that handsome face, after all.

I kissed him. "Thanks for the flowers, Kunsel. They're beautiful."

"You're welcome, Jessie," he gave me his typical wry smile. "I guess Aerith was able to find your place without any trouble. I, uh… hope it's okay that I told her where you live."

"It's fine," I assured him. "I trust her. And you."

"Good! I just wanted you to have something special since tonight's two months since we first met."

I hugged him tight. "I appreciate it. And…"

"Hmm?" he wondered. "Something on your mind?"

My heart beat a little faster as I told him. "Well, I, uh… I think I've got something for you, too. But before that, I'd like to talk for a bit first. There are… things I want to tell you."

He blinked. "What things?"

"About me. Things that you should know before we get much more involved with each other. And… once you hear them, if you decide not to go further with me, I… I'll understand."

"I'm staying with you," Kunsel insisted.

I chuckled. "Well, wait 'till you hear me out first. But how about we go have dinner before we get into all that? I don't know about you, but I'm famished! My treat!"

"Sounds good," he grinned. "Where do you—?"

His warm smile faded as he abruptly cut himself off, and the sound of footsteps filled my ears. I turned around to see who was coming, but it was only Reeve. Something was wrong, though. He hurried over, his expression clearly worried as he walked up to me. I had told him about Kunsel, but he hadn't met him yet. I didn't think he had come out here for an introduction, though.

Kunsel straightened. "Director Tuesti! Sir!"

"At ease," Reeve replied. Then he turned to me. "Jessica, we need to talk. In private. I've found out something that I think you should know. It won't take long, I promise."

A chill ran down my spine. "A-Alright. The alley?"

He nodded. "That should do. And… Kunsel, wasn't it? Wait here, if you would, please. We'll be back soon."

"Yes, sir," Kunsel said.

"It'll be okay," I assured him. I knew he was confused.

He didn't bother hiding it. "I don't know what's going on, but… I'll be here if you need me."

I smiled. "Thanks. Be back in a minute."

With that, I followed Reeve around the corner into the alley by the theater. It was quiet, the soft green glow of the small mako pipes along the base of walls the only light as we went further in. Glancing around to make sure we were really alone, Reeve motioned for me to stop. We stood facing each other about fifty feet into the alley.

"That should be enough," he said. "Don't want anyone overhearing us. Kunsel sounds like a decent man from what you've told me, but I'm guessing he doesn't know who you really are yet."

I shook my head. "No, he doesn't. Not yet. But… I want to tell him. I was thinking of doing it tonight, actually."

"I understand, Jessica. And I do wish you the best of luck."

"Thank you," I smiled. Then it faded as I remembered why I was in here. "So what's going on, Reeve? Has my father—?"

Reeve took my shoulder. "No. He hasn't found you. But…"

I frowned. "But what?"

"Scarlet was in the executive suite last night at the show. I was a bit surprised she would go, but apparently she does come to see it every so often, once or twice a season."

"What!?" My eyes widened. "Are you sure?"

He nodded. "Yes. I wasn't there myself, otherwise I'd have told you backstage last night. I found out today after one of our meetings when she mentioned it in passing. And you."

I staggered back a step. "Me? W-What did she say?"

"Scarlet talked about your performance, mainly. We have monitors in the executive suite that let us see the stage up close. She thought you looked familiar, but she wasn't sure."

"If she figures out who I am," I stammered, my heart racing. "If she does recognize me sooner or later, then…"

Reeve finished for me. "She'll tell your father."

I moved away a few steps, my hands shaking now. "And he'll come for me. To finish what he tried to do before."

"Try to stay calm, Jessica," Reeve said. "He doesn't know."

"Not yet. But he might still find out. And I was just starting to feel safe, Reeve. Like I could finally move on with my life. But now… it's all in danger. What am I supposed to do?"

He walked up to me. "Nothing, for now. It's too soon, and there's a chance Scarlet won't ever realize it was you. And as you know, she cares more about her weapons than the theater. I'll keep an eye on things, of course. But you should still enjoy your new life."

As I thought about it, I realized he was right. "I guess that's true. It would be crazy to throw away everything I've gained and achieved over something that might never happen. Still, I… I can't help worrying. It's always gonna be in the back of my mind now."

"I know," Reeve said. "But remember, you're not alone."

He was right, of course. I had my friends. Reeve, Cait Sith, Andrea, Aerith, and Kunsel would all be there for me if I needed them. While I was still afraid, I didn't want to stop living my life, either. I was the star of LOVELESS, a young actress doing what I loved more than anything else, and a girl seeing a wonderful guy.

I managed a weak smile. "You're right, Reeve. I'm scared, but that's no reason for me to run and hide. On with the show, as they say. I have too much going for me here to abandon it so easily."

"Yes," he agreed, walking with me back toward the road. "You do at that, Jessica. Far too much."

Kunsel was waiting for us when we got back to the sidewalk, just as patient as I'd known he would be. And as I went to him, I thought of an idea for what we could do for dinner tonight instead of going out. We'd have a chance to talk that way as well, because I wasn't sure I wanted to make him wait until after we'd eaten for an explanation. Not after what I'd just found out from Reeve.

"Everything alright?" Kunsel asked.

I exchanged a glance with Reeve. "It'll be fine. I'll explain in a bit. I know it must've caught you off guard."

"A little," he said.

"I apologize for that," Reeve extended his hand. "I hear good things about you, however. Jessica tells me a great deal."

Kunsel shook it. "Thank you, sir. I do care about her a lot."

I clasped his fingers in mine, needing the contact more now than I had before Reeve's news had thrown me off balance. I hoped that, once I told Kunsel the truth about who I was, he wouldn't leave, and I didn't think he would. But a small sliver of doubt gnawed at me just the same. I was almost afraid to find out how he felt.

Reeve smiled. "I can see that you do, Kunsel. And how happy she is with you. Like I said, we talk fairly often."

"I didn't know you two knew each other," Kunsel said.

I gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. There's a lot you don't know about me. But I promise I'll explain. That's what I wanted to talk to you about tonight."

He nodded. "Alright."

"Jessica may need your help at some point," Reeve went on. "I hope I can count on you to be there for her."

"Of course!" Kunsel saluted. "Without question."

Reeve relaxed. "Good. I won't take up any more of your time, then. Enjoy your evening, both of you. And good luck."

With that, he waved and walked away. I watched him leave until he was out of sight. It had been good to see him again despite what he had told me. Although we did talk, it was mostly over the phone. Reeve was as much a public figure as I was, even more so, and he wanted to avoid bringing more attention to me than I already got and causing people to ask questions they shouldn't.

Neither of us wanted people to start wondering why a rising young actress and one of Shinra's highest-ranking executives were so familiar with each other. So he made sure not to see me very often, not publicly, anyway. He'd visit me at home every so often, though, to see how I was doing. But even that he kept to a minimum.

I knew why, of course. Our distance was as much for his protection as it was for mine. The press in Midgar was notoriously nosy. I'd picked up on that pretty quickly over the past few months, especially after me and Kunsel had started dating. We'd been ambushed a few times on the street by photographers and reporters all wanting the scoop on us. So I knew full well that if they ever began to suspect Reeve and I were more than just public acquaintances, they'd either keep digging until they got to the truth, or they'd make up something else from whatever bits they could piece together and claim it was real.

Either way, it could be damaging to both of us, so we kept apart as much as we could. I'd been surprised that Reeve had seen me so openly tonight, but with the news he'd brought, I understood why he'd wanted to tell me personally as soon as possible.

I turned to Kunsel. "I thought we could eat in tonight, at my place. If you don't mind, that is."

"I'd like that," he smiled. "What's for dinner?"

"Pizza! I still haven't made you my Midgar Special yet. Tonight's as good a night as any, wouldn't you say?"

He grinned. "Yeah! Been looking forward to it."

We walked down the street together, hand in hand, until we got to my place. Kunsel had walked me home before, which was how he knew where I lived, but this would be his first time actually going inside. He was a little nervous, and so was I, to be honest. But in spite of all that, I still opened the door and led him upstairs.

"Wow…" he said when he saw my apartment.

I giggled. "First time in a girl's home?"

Kunsel shook his head. "Not really. I've had a girlfriend before. But not in a long time, and not like you."

"Well, you're my first boyfriend," I winked.

"Really?" he wondered.

I nodded as we sat down on the couch. "Yeah. Been on a few dates now and then back before I started at LOVELESS, but not many, and it never really went anywhere."

"Lucky for me, then," Kunsel laughed.

"Me too!" I agreed. "I think I hit the jackpot here."

He kissed me. "I know I sure did."

I thanked him with my lips, pulling him back to me and not letting go, our tongues finding each other for long, endless moments until we had to come up for air. My heart raced, and my skin was tingling as he held me. We went back at it for a bit, our mouths pressing against each other, touching and pulling apart and touching again as my hands slid into his hair while his caressed my waist and lower back. It wasn't until my stomach growled that I finally broke away.

"Guess that means I should get dinner started," I chuckled.

"Need a hand?" Kunsel asked.

I shook my head. "Thanks, but I can handle it. Just relax and make yourself at home, Kunsel."

While he sat on the sofa and did just that, I got up and went to the kitchen to start getting dinner ready. It didn't take very long to prepare the pizza, and once I put it in the oven, I took a couple drinks from the fridge, walked back to the couch, and sat down again, nervous as I gave Kunsel his. I took a sip of mine, then started talking.

"Well, I… I guess it's time for me to start opening up, huh?"

He nodded. "Who are you, Jessie?"

I laughed. "Good question. That's the best place to start, I suppose. Jessie Jae isn't my real name. It's a stage name."

"I'm not surprised," he said. "A lot of actors use them."

"That's true, but… mine was for more than just that. My real name is… Jessica Heidegger."

For a moment, he just sat there, not understanding at first. But just a second later, it hit him, and his eyes widened. Kunsel looked at me as if he were seeing me for the first time. And maybe he was. And at first, he didn't reply. He was trying to take it all in, I knew. I waited, anxious and uncertain, my hands not quite steady.

Then he spoke. "Heidegger… as in _General_ Heidegger? Director of Peace Preservation at Shinra?"

"Yeah," I said. "He… he's my father."

"I'd heard that his daughter mysteriously disappeared around eight or nine months ago. That was you?"

I swallowed. "It was, Kunsel. It was me."

He stared. "What happened? Practically the whole city was looking for you. Reports said you'd been kidnapped."

"Obviously not true," I joked.

"Yeah. I don't believe a lot of what Shinra says."

I gazed wonderingly at him. "Even though you're in SOLDIER?"

He sighed. "Yeah. Did you know, they dropped that story recently? Now they're saying you ran off with a lot of Shinra's secrets and left for Wutai to sell them to the Wusheng."

"Really?" I laughed. "They're pretty inventive, I tell ya."

"No kidding. So what _did_ happen, Jessie? Er… Jessica. Sorry, I just forgot. I'm used to calling you Jessie."

I smiled. "It's okay. And you still can. It's my name now."

"Thanks," Kunsel said. "I like them both."

"Then you can call me either one. As for what really went down… well, I _did_ work for Shinra. Almost four years. And I _did_ have access to some classified information. But I never took any of it with me when I left. When I quit, that is."

Just then, the clock on the stove beeped as the timer went off, and I got up to take the freshly-cooked pizza out of the oven. The wonderful smells of pepperoni, mozzarella, and my own personal seasonings and spices filled the room with their lovely aromas. The scents of the black shelly and red milly were especially strong.

As we sat together at my little kitchen table and ate, I told him a bit more about my background, lighter stuff for now since we were eating and I wanted to save the darker and more difficult parts for afterward. I told Kunsel about Reeve and Cait, how they'd been good friends for a long time, and about my work in Systems Operation and how I'd risen to head of the division by the time I had left. Kunsel listened patiently, letting me go at my own pace as I talked.

When it was over and we had cleared away the dishes, we returned to the sofa. Kunsel had loved the pizza, and I hadn't been able to keep a smile off my face when he started raving about it. I had joked that if he liked it so much, he should kiss the cook for making it. And, of course, he'd done just that, coming up behind me while I was washing dishes at the sink, sliding his arms around me, and putting his lips on mine. We had just stood there like that, and for that one moment, I'd been able to forget about everything else and lose myself in him.

Taking another sip of my drink, I started in on the rest, telling him about my work in Weapons Development, my designs, my dreams, and how I'd been Scarlet's assistant and protégé. I also talked about how she and my father had twisted my work, using it to help destroy Corel and murder the protesters in Reactor 3. How my mom had found out about it all and tried to use what she knew to help us, only to be killed in the Sector 5 train wreck along with so many others.

"And your father was behind it?" Kunsel breathed.

I wiped my eyes, which had been wet for a while now. "Yeah. It was him, Kunsel. He gave the orders. And… he knew I would be with Mom that day at the station. The blast was supposed to kill me, too. If Reeve hadn't saved me, it would have."

He took my hand. "You're hiding from him, aren't you?"

"That's right. I discovered what he had done, him and Scarlet, and so I quit. She shot me on the way out, if you can believe that. Reeve got me away from there and helped me start over. But my father, he knows that I know what he did, I'm sure of it."

"So what did Reeve want tonight?" Kunsel asked.

I told him what Reeve had told me, about Scarlet being at the play and noticing me, thinking that I looked familiar. It wasn't much, but it still worried me. At least for now, she hadn't made the connection, but sooner or later, she or my father might figure it out.

My hands were shaking again. "My father's been looking for me for months, Kunsel. His work keeps him busy, but he's never forgotten and never stopped. Reeve and Cait keep me updated when they can, but… I'm still scared. My father will have me killed if he finds me. He doesn't like loose ends, you know."

"I don't believe it," Kunsel stared. "His own daughter…"

"I've been trying to rebuild my life and move on, but this has hung over me like a shadow the whole time. Now that you know everything, I… I understand if you want to back out, Kunsel. Being with me could be dangerous. And I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you. All I ask is that you don't tell anyone who I really am."

At first, he didn't say anything. But then, he took my hands in his, gazing at me with those beautiful, bright blue eyes. Would he stay with me? I wanted that, more than anything. But I was also afraid he would turn away, and I wouldn't have blamed him. I half-expected him to get up and leave right then. When he finally answered, though, I thought I had never heard anything so wonderful in my life.

"I'm not going anywhere," Kunsel gently stroked my cheek. "And I won't let him hurt you, Jessie. That's a promise."

I couldn't believe it. "But if he finds out about you…"

He smiled. "Let me worry about that. I'm in SOLDIER, remember? I can take care of myself."

"You really want to be with me? Even knowing the risks?"

Kunsel touched his lips to mine. "Now more than ever, Jessie. Even with all you've told me, I still feel like the luckiest guy in Midgar. To be able to be with you. And I'm not gonna let anything happen to you. I'll be there when you need me. I love you too much to just walk away and leave you to face this alone. I'm in. All the way."

More tears fell from my eyes, but I didn't bother wiping them away. "Really? Do you mean that? You love me?"

"Damn right I do," he said. "I love you, Jessie."

I took his face in both hands and kissed him passionately, so happy at what he'd said and that he wanted to stay with me. As our lips moved against each other, I slid my arms around him while he held me close. I pressed myself against him, heat filling my body as a hunger rose in me that I'd never fed before. I knew what I wanted.

"Kunsel…" I gazed at him, desire and longing burning in my blood like nothing I'd ever known. "Follow me…"

I took him by the hand and guided him into the short hall leading to my bedroom. We kept kissing on the way, and when we got near the door, I stood with my back against the wall and locked lips with him as our hands explored each other. My blood was on fire, and the feeling of his mouth moistening my jaw and neck only made it hotter. I bit lightly on his ear and let out a little moan.

Kunsel's lips kept exploring me. "Jessie, are… are you sure?"

"Absolutely," I breathed, nibbling his lobe. "I… I want this, Kunsel. I need it. I need you."

"But why?" he wondered.

I lifted his face to look in his eyes. "Because I love you, too."

He kissed me again, his tongue swirling out to meet mine. I let him find it, holding him against me as my eyes closed my hands roamed all over him. Kunsel was more than ready, I couldn't resist a grin as I felt it against me, and it made me even hotter than I already was. Time to get things moving along a bit further.

When we went into my room, I broke away from him for a minute and went to my dresser. Opening the top drawer, I took out what I was looking for, kept it folded so Kunsel wouldn't be able to see it, and then smirked at him over my shoulder.

"Just lie down there and relax, okay?" I grinned. "I'm gonna change into something more comfortable."

While Kunsel sat down, took his boots and socks off, and laid back on the bed like I'd suggested, I slipped inside the bathroom and closed the door behind me. Either Aerith had made a hell of a lucky guess, or she was a lot more perceptive than I'd realized, because I'd already gone and bought this kinky little garment last week. On a whim, really, since I hadn't known if I'd ever get the chance to wear it. But I'd wanted to be ready for when and if Kunsel and I did take this step.

After I had changed, I opened the bathroom door, but slowly so as to draw out the suspense. I peeked out, still hiding most of myself, and winked at Kunsel as he lay with his hands behind his head. He shot up right away, though, as soon as I walked forward a few steps and leaned sinuously against the doorframe.

"Whoa…" he breathed, his eyes wide.

I smiled, happy at how clearly he wanted me. I was wearing a dark blue silk negligee, panties, and nothing else. The straps were as thin as spaghetti, and the whole thing was trimmed in lace and very short, just barely reaching past my hips to the tops of my thighs. It was also sheer, just transparent enough to give him a tantalizing glimpse of what I had in store for him. My heart was pounding like a bass drum that had lost control, but I was also exhilarated and _very_ aroused.

"Happy two months, tiger," I purred. "See something you like?"

He nodded. "Hell yeah…"

Fixing him with the steamiest stare I could muster, I wove my way slowly toward the bed, put my hands on the end, and climbed in. I kept my eyes locked on Kunsel as I slid up to him on my hands and knees as if I were a cat in heat. And maybe I was. When I finally reached him, I took him in my arms, pressed my lips fervently against his, and pushed him back onto the pillows. I fell on top of him, my tongue diving right into his mouth, and smothered him with kisses. Kunsel returned them, his lips meshing lovingly with mine.

Our hands drifted over each other again, but I noticed he kept his off certain parts of my body. I knew he was trying to be respectful, not to mention he was probably just as nervous as I was and didn't want to seem too eager. But I wanted him to relax and be comfortable with me, so I took one of his hands and put it firmly on my breast.

"Have fun," I teased, kissing him again.

He didn't hesitate, kneading and rubbing as I slid my hands inside his sleeveless tunic. I mewled softly at the sweet spikes of heat shooting through me from Kunsel's touch. The fabric was thin enough that I felt every little motion of his fingers, and it allowed him to get a good grip on what was underneath. Oh, it was heavenly, my skin tingling as I felt his gentle caress through the soft silk.

Pulling away from his mouth for a minute, I pushed up his tunic as far as I could, exposing a lovely, muscled chest, firm and toned and just begging for me to explore it. Kunsel let go of me and took over, pulling it up over his head and tossing it onto the floor. When his hands came back to me, he took both of my curves this time, rubbing and kneading them as if they were soft dough.

Then I gasped in pleasure and delight when Kunsel slipped a hand inside my negligee, moved it slowly up my chest, and closed it over me directly, skin to skin. If I had thought the things he had done when he'd been on the outside had been good, the shocks of warmth that coursed through me as he fondled me on the inside were incredible. I purred in a long, low husky breath as little volts of heat sizzled into my brain and made the growing pressure between my legs even deeper.

Letting my own hands roam across Kunsel's chest, I smiled and did a little playing of my own, loving the sounds he made as I trailed kisses up his sternum toward his jaw and mouth. I pressed myself down upon him, wanting to feel him under me as I locked my lips with his. Then I sat up, the flames of desire burning hotly in me as all my nerve endings felt overly sensitive and alive and my heart hammered against my ribs. Taking a deep breath, I reached up and slowly pushed the straps of my negligee down past my elbows, then I lifted my arms out entirely. After that, I took hold of my garment from the bottom.

"Ready for more?" I whispered.

Kunsel took my face in his hands and kissed me. "You know it."

Smiling, I pulled the blue silk upward.

* * *

When it was all over, we lay, panting and exhausted, in each other's arms under the sheets, our bodies coated in sweat. I rested my head on Kunsel's chest and listened to his heart beating. I loved that sound, and I shared a kiss with him as my body still smoldered with the embers of the fierce and fiery pleasure he'd brought me.

He'd been so concerned for me when he had first broken through, even though I'd told him just before we started that it was my first time doing this. I had gritted my teeth against it, knowing it had to be done, but it had still hurt a bit, like a really hard pinch. I had assured Kunsel I was okay, though, pressing my lips against his, sliding my hands down under his back, and pushing him into me.

And as he had eased his way in—slowly at first but then picking up speed later on—the pain had subsided before long and had been lost in a steadily growing wave of sweet fire. It had eventually exploded into a furious climax that had left my whole body quivering with ecstasy as I had cried out, long and loud and gasping for breath, before smothering Kunsel with my lips and tongue. He had finished in the midst of it, the wonderful sound of him breathing my name as he released making my heart flutter and my pleasure flare even hotter.

"What's on your mind?" he asked.

I snuggled closer to him. "Just… feel different, I suppose. In a good way, mind you. I'm not a… well, you know… anymore."

Kunsel lightly stroked my bare back. "You don't regret it?"

"Nope!" I smiled. "I feel lucky that I got to lose it to you. A guy that loves me so much. Not every girl gets that chance."

"I'm glad you chose me, Jessie," he said.

I kissed him. "There's no one else I want, Kunsel. Just you."

He covered my lips with his. "Same here. No matter what happens, I'll be there. We'll face it together."

"Thanks. I'm still a little scared, but knowing that you're here with me makes it easier. As long as I have you, I can keep on going. I'll keep living my life, and with you in it, I know I'll be fine."

"I'm not leaving," Kunsel promised.

I hugged him and sighed happily. "Aerith was right about you."

He smiled. "What'd she say?"

"She told me you'd stand by me," I chuckled. "And you did, Kunsel. Guess I have an 'I told you so,' coming."

"Probably," he agreed.

I stifled a yawn. "So, you gotta be on duty early in the morning? Or you do start later?"

"Tomorrow's a late shift," he answered.

I'd been hoping he'd say that. "Oh, nice! We'll get to sleep in, then. I don't have rehearsal until the afternoon."

"You're asking me to spend the night?" he marveled.

"I think I just did," I said.

He pretended to think it over. "Hmm… go back alone to my place or stay here with the woman I love? Tough call…"

I laughed. "Well?"

"I'll stay, Jessie," Kunsel kissed me.

"In that case…" I moved my mouth against his as I rolled on top of him, my blood heating up. "Don't expect to get much sleep tonight. I'll be keeping you pretty busy for a while."

His tongue found mine. "Ready when you are."

"Good," I winked. "Enjoy the ride."


	16. FIFTEEN

**FIFTEEN**

The bike was a Motonox Gust MG7, mint green body with a shiny chrome undercarriage and exhaust pipes. It purred under Kunsel and I as we rode it through the streets of Sector 8. He'd met me right outside the theater this evening just like always, but this time he'd had the bike with him. It wasn't a Hardy, but it was still great, and I had squealed in delight when I saw it. I still loved motorcycles and had hopped right on behind Kunsel, an eager grin on my face.

Our relationship was about five months old by now. Almost half a year already. Had it really been that long? It was hard to believe. But as I leaned forward and wrapped my arms snugly around Kunsel's waist, I knew it was true. I let out a contented sigh as the light breeze from our acceleration tossed our hair. The pain of my past, of all I'd endured and lost, felt faint and far away at that moment, and I knew Mom would be glad that I was so happy now.

Kunsel and I sped through the night, the bright lights of Sector 8's main avenues passing by us in a blur. I wasn't sure where he was taking me, but I didn't care. All that mattered was that I was with him. I knew it'd be special, whatever it was. Even so, I couldn't resist teasing him, so I called out to him as we rode along.

"Hey, honey," I giggled. "Know where we're going?"

Kunsel smirked. "You'll see."

I laughed. "Oh, a surprise! I should've known. Don't be in a rush to get there, though. I'm enjoying our magical ride!"

"So am I," he said.

I brushed my lips across his cheek. "Love you, hon."

"Love you, too," he smiled.

Then I sat back and whooped in exhilaration as Kunsel gunned the engine and we shot forward. I was wearing the same short blue dress I had worn the night we met, and he had put on a nice casual little outfit for our date this evening instead of his purple SOLDIER uniform. He'd still wear it sometimes if he'd just gotten off duty before seeing me, but I didn't mind. It was cute and kinda sexy.

After passing through Fountain Plaza, we rode onward, eventually driving onto a street overlooking the train tracks running at the base of a trench to our right. It was quieter out this way as we left the business district behind. Not as many lights, either. Still, it felt very peaceful, full of homes on both sides of the trench.

We finally came to a stop a little while later, parking along the edge of a side street just over the entrance to one of the train tunnels. While the Corkscrew Tunnel was the biggest, there were plenty of others that wove throughout the plate, and the sound of trains running across the tracks was an everyday thing, like the revving of all the cars and trucks driving on the elevated highways around town.

"We catching a train?" I joked.

Kunsel got up, turned around to face me, then sat down again with a smirk. "In a way, I guess. This is a favorite spot of mine. Sometimes I like to come here and watch them race out of the tunnel. Or into it. But I've never had anyone to share it with before."

I kissed him. "You do now."

"Glad to hear it," he breathed, his fingers touching my cheek as his mouth meshed with mine. "Should be one coming any minute. Oughta have a great view of it from here."

"Can't wait," I wrapped my arms around him.

The vibrations started barely thirty seconds later, and with a laugh, we looked out over the low wall and watched as a train sped out of the tunnel a moment later and raced down the tracks. There must've been about a dozen or so cars on it altogether, rumbling into the trench one after the other in a long, unbroken line.

Kunsel and I enjoyed the sight for a while as we sat together on the bike, and then I looked back at him, gently turned his face toward me, and drew him close. As he slid his arms around my waist, the coasting of the train on the tracks below us filling our ears, our tongues danced and our lips locked and unlocked.

We kept sharing tender kisses long after the train was gone, after it had ridden out of sight and hearing. When we finally came up for air, I laid my head on his shoulder and let him hold me. Time didn't seem to matter, and I could've stayed like this with Kunsel all night. I thought it was a great idea and decided to tell him.

"So…" I winked. "Your place or mine tonight?"

He shrugged. "Doesn't matter to me. Got a preference?"

I made a show of thinking it over, looking up at the sky and raising a finger. "Hmm… yours? I'm off tomorrow."

"Sounds good," Kunsel nodded. "I'm off, too."

"Awesome! We can spend the whole day together! Maybe go off to a different part of the city and see the sights."

He chuckled. "Got anywhere special in mind?"

I sat back, giggling. "Well, I've always wanted to go to every sector in Midgar. It's a little goal I have. I've been to most of them by now, but there's a few I haven't gotten to yet. Sector 4 was next on my list. There are a lot of nice places there, I've heard."

"Guess we'll have to check 'em out, then," Kunsel said.

"Definitely!" I exclaimed. Then my eyes lit up. "Oh, I've got a great idea! We should go get a hotel room over there. Tonight! Turn this into a little mini-vacation, you know?"

He grinned. "I like the way you think, Jessie."

"Oh, so _that's _why you love me," I teased, kissing him.

"I've got lots of reasons," Kunsel smiled. "So anyway, how'd you like our little trip to see the train?"

I hugged him. "I loved it, Kunsel. We've _got_ to do this again."

"We will," he promised.

After planting another kiss on my lips, Kunsel turned back around and settled onto the Gust. I laid my hands on either side of his waist as he started the engine, and we pulled out, heading back down the street toward the business district. I figured we'd stop by my place on the way to Sector 4 so I could pick up a few things for tonight, and then we'd be off on our little adventure. It was so exciting, and I didn't think my life could get much better than this.

* * *

"Ku… Kunsel!" I moaned, throwing my head back.

Pleasure exploded inside me, a fierce burst of sweet fire that swept throughout my body in waves of warm, sharp ecstasy. As I gasped and mewled in the midst of my release, my toes curled, my legs clamped in a lock around Kunsel's waist, and my fingers tightened their grip on his shoulders. I just hung there for a moment, feeling almost euphoric as I came and my climax swept over me.

I was still in the midst of it when I suddenly felt Kunsel lurch as he finished and his warmth filled me. He held me close as he lay on top of me in the hotel room's nice, queen-sized bed. The sheets were a tangled mess, and the blanket wasn't much better off.

"J-Jessie!" Kunsel gasped.

I let go of his shoulders, took his face in my hands, and kissed him passionately, my lips smashing into his as I held his body against mine with my legs and let him empty himself into me. When he was finished and the aftershocks of my own climax had started to recede, I sank my head into the pillow and pulled Kunsel close, covering his mouth with mine again as his arms wrapped around me.

My short hair lying damp and sweaty around my ears, I whispered to him in between kisses, telling him I loved him and how good it was. My skin was wet, and I was panting for breath in the midst of it all. But so was Kunsel. He was just as exhausted I was, and as he murmured his love for me, I couldn't resist teasing him.

"Having a… hard time… keeping up?" I quipped.

He smirked as he settled in next to me. "Not a chance. I'm… doing just fine… Jessie. Just… fine."

I laughed. "Then why… are you out of… breath?"

"Speak for yourself," he grinned.

"You've… got a point," I admitted with a smile. "So, anyway… how many times… is that tonight? I've lost count."

Kunsel pulled the blanket over us. "Three, I think."

I snuggled up to him. "Mmm… that sounds about right. I'm liking this vacation already."

"So, Jessie… got any plans for the future?" he asked.

"Me?" I blinked, surprised. I'd never thought about it much before. "I don't know. I'd like to keep acting, see if I can make a career out of it. And be with you, of course. Why?"

He went on. "I mean, after this whole thing with your father's over. It can't go on forever, and I know you don't wanna hide from him your whole life. You'll have face him, sooner or later."

"I will," I sighed. "I just don't know how or when yet."

"Yeah. So, what about after?" Kunsel said.

I gazed at him, my fingers tracing the side of his face as I laid in his arms. "Well, being free from my father—really free—that'd be a dream come true. If it ever happened… I think I'd like to leave Midgar, at least for a while. See some new places, you know?"

"Sounds nice," he smiled.

"Yeah," I agreed. "And then… settle down somewhere. Maybe even have kids someday. I'd still keep acting, of course. It's what I love to do. I'd also like to see Nan and the others again. She was my nanny when I was little, and the rest were the household staff at my father's mansion. They were like family to me. I miss them."

Kunsel gently planted a soft kiss on my forehead. "Those are some good dreams, Jessie. Hold onto them."

"I will," I said, hugging him. "What about yours?"

"As long as I'm with you, nothing else matters," he said. "You're my dream, Jessie. Always have been."

I kissed him long and deep. "Same to you…"

* * *

The next morning, after a wonderfully refreshing shower that was both relaxing and full of steamy passion, Kunsel and I left the hotel and started walking the streets of Sector 4 hand in hand. We left the Gust at the parking lot, deciding to come back for it later when we checked out and were ready to head for home.

When my stomach started rumbling, I gave Kunsel a playful nudge with my elbow. "Hey, you gonna feed this girl?"

"Sure!" he laughed. "You got anything in mind?"

I thought for a moment, then pointed at a small cafe nearby. "Over there, Kunsel. That looks good."

We hadn't gone far from the hotel yet, just around the corner and a block away, and the aromas of pancakes, eggs, and more wafted outside and teased my nose, making my mouth water. I hurried inside without waiting for Kunsel to answer, and he followed behind me, chuckling to himself as he went. A little bell chimed on the door.

It was a nice place, small but very cozy, with a tantalizing self-serve breakfast bar on one side and the dining area on the other, and in front was a row of cashiers. After paying, Kunsel went ahead and found us a table while I went over to the breakfast bar to get started. I took a plate and was just looking hungrily over all the delicious-looking food when someone accidentally bumped into me.

"Oh, sorry!" a woman's voice said. "I didn't mean to—"

My eyes widened when I saw her. "Marissa?"

It was her, alright. Those fiery orange curls tied back in their short ponytail were unmistakeable, just like her dark green eyes and freckled cheeks. I could hardly believe it, and for a moment I just stood there, as stunned as I figured she must be.

"I'm afraid I don't—" she started to say, and then she gasped as she finally recognized me. "Jessica? Is that you?"

I smiled. "Yep! Just Jessie now, though. But it's me!"

We put our plates down almost at the same time, then hugged each other tight, laughing as we did. I hadn't seen her since she'd left Shinra. I had lost track of her in the midst of my own struggles, and as busy as I'd been lately with my acting and my relationship with Kunsel, I hadn't had the chance to get in touch with her.

"It's so good to see you!" she exclaimed. "How've you been?"

I beamed. "Doing great these days. You?"

Marissa smiled. "Pretty good. I do a lot of freelance IT work, and I even get to make my own hours."

"Awesome!" I grinned, picking up my plate.

"You look _so_ different, Jessie," she chuckled as she retrieved hers. "I didn't even realize it was you at first."

I giggled, tossing my short hair a bit. "I do, don't I?"

Marissa nodded as we picked out our food. "Yeah. I like it, though. That dress looks really good on you. And your hair is gorgeous! Kinda surprised to see that you cut it, but it's still great."

"Thanks," I said, serving myself some eggs. "I just… had to make a few changes. The new look is a part of who I am now, what I do. But it feels good, too. I'm glad you like it."

Just then, Kunsel joined me. "Table's over there, Jessie."

"Okay, hon," I kissed him. "I see it. Better start filling up your plate, then. Food's hot and looks good!"

"Don't need to tell me twice," he smirked.

Then I remembered Marissa. "Oh! Hey, Kunsel, this is Marissa, an old friend of mine. We just bumped into each other. Like, literally! She used to be my boss back when I was at… well, you know. Don't wanna say too much out in the open."

He nodded to her. "Good meeting you, Marissa."

"And you, Kunsel," she said, smiling. "Seems Jessie found someone special. I'm glad to see that."

"Oh, he is," I winked. "He's the best."

Kunsel took a plate, then gave me a gentle, one-armed hug. "So are you, Jessie. Best I've ever seen."

After giving me a kiss, he went over to the far end of the buffet and got started. I watched him for a moment, my stomach fluttering as my heart raced. I felt happy, content, and in love. With a soft sigh, I turned back to Marissa, who wasn't even bothering to hide her grin as she put some more food on her plate.

"So what's he like?" she asked. "He seems nice."

He certainly was. "Kunsel's a great guy, Marissa. He's in SOLDIER. Second Class. We've been seeing each other for about five months now. I'm seriously crazy about him."

"He's cute, too," Marissa chuckled.

"Sure is, isn't he?" I agreed.

She nodded. "Yeah. I'm really happy for you, Jessie. But before, you said something to him about work when you were introducing us. Not wanting to talk about it much, right? But why?"

I stepped closer to her so only she could hear me. "It's just that… it isn't safe. I left Shinra a little over a year ago, Marissa. It wasn't easy, but I didn't have a choice. I had to get away."

"I understand," she said. "And I'm glad you got outta there."

"Me too. And… I also found out about your husband. What really happened, I mean. I wanted to tell you, but… there was so much going on and I didn't know how to reach you. I'm sorry."

Marissa laid her free hand on my shoulder. "What for? You did just what you said you would. I knew you'd uncover the truth, Jessie. Don't be so hard on yourself, alright?"

I put my hand over hers. "Thanks, Marissa. Are you free sometime this week? I'd like to tell you what I know."

"I'll make the time," she promised.

"Then come over to my place," I smiled. "I'll give you the address. Besides, we totally need to do some catching up! How long has it been since we've seen each other?"

She laughed. "About a year and a half, I think. Way too long. I'll be there, Jessie. You can count on it."

"Well in the meantime, come and sit with us!" I said.

"Are you sure?" Marissa asked. "I don't want to intrude. You should go enjoy your time with Kunsel."

I shook my head. "It'll be fine. Come on!"

She gave in, and we went over to the table Kunsel had found for us. He was already there, waving as we got close. I was waving back to him and setting my plate down when I suddenly felt a light tap on my lower back. I turned around to see a little girl, maybe eight years old, looking up at me in awe, and I smiled.

"Are you… the girl from the play?" she asked.

I knelt so I was at eye level with her. "I sure am, sweetie."

Just then, a pretty young woman who could've only been her mom came up to her. "Emma, there you are! I told you not to bother her. It's not polite. Now come and eat."

"But, Mommy!" she protested.

Her mom looked at me. "I'm really sorry about all this."

"It's okay," I told her. "I don't mind."

She blinked. "Really? Thank you. That's very kind. I saw you earlier but didn't want to disturb you."

Emma beamed. "We watched you at the theater!"

"Did you have fun?" I grinned.

"Yep!" she nodded. "And you looked so pretty! I wanna be on stage too when I grow up. In LOVELESS! Like you!"

I laughed. "Awww, and don't you just look the part!"

Kunsel was already handing me my purse, knowing what I'd need. I always kept a few flyers from the play on me, and after I took two out along with a pen, I signed them both. I handed one to Emma's mother, and then I held the other one out for Emma herself.

"Here you go," I said. "And remember, practice a lot, okay?"

She giggled as she took it. "I will! Thanks!"

"Thank you," her mom smiled.

"Sure!" I said. "Nice meeting you guys."

After they left and I had sat down, Marissa gazed at me in wonder for a moment. "Wait a minute… did that little girl just say LOVELESS? Then that means… _you're_ Jessie Jae?"

I smirked as I ate. "Yeah, that's me, alright."

"Wow… you _have_ been busy haven't you?" she grinned.

"Sure have!" I agreed. "But it's a lot of fun. I'm surprised you didn't catch on sooner, though."

She chuckled. "I watch the news sometimes, but I've never actually seen the show. I'm definitely gonna change that now, though. I _have_ to come and see you perform sometime."

"Oh, I'd love that!" I said.

"Then I'll be there," she promised.

We talked and ate for a while, having fun as Marissa and I enjoyed our little reunion and she and Kunsel got to know each other a bit. We had a good time, and when it was over, we all walked outside together. I gave her my number and address, then waved as she walked away. We had decided to meet up in a few days so I could share with her what I'd found out about her husband's death and talk more in private. It would be hard, and I hoped she would forgive me.

* * *

Four days later, there was a soft knock on my door, and I opened it to see Marissa standing there. It was early that morning, about nine or so, and I had a pot of coffee brewing in the kitchen for us. After letting her inside and sharing a hug, I poured us each a cup, and then I joined her out on the sofa in the living room.

We talked about light things at first—how her work was going, and how she had liked my play. True to her word, Marissa had come to see the show the other night, and she'd met me outside afterward to say hi. Kunsel had been there too, of course. He and I had chatted with her for a bit before wishing her goodnight and going on one of our walks. And he was going to take me on another ride on the Gust tonight to see the train again. I told Marissa about that as well.

"Sounds like fun," she laughed, sipping her coffee. "Reminds me of when Mark and I first got together."

"He had a bike?" I asked.

She nodded. "Yeah. It was a Gust, too. An older model, but I swear he loved that thing as much as he loved me."

I sighed. "Listen, Marissa. About… that day…"

"Whatever it is, it's okay," she assured me. "Don't worry."

So, taking a breath to calm my nerves, I told her everything that I'd found out about the Reactor 3 incident and her husband's death, that it had been a deliberate massacre by Shinra to prevent word of the unsafe working conditions there and in the all other reactors from getting out and tarnishing the company's image. And how the security roboguards had been manipulated to accomplish it.

"It… it was my father, Marissa," I said. "He was behind it all. Sent a signal telling the mechs that Mark and the others were intruders. They weren't supposed to be in combat mode, but… he had them altered so he could switch them over at will."

She took my hand, her eyes wet. "Jessie…"

I went on. "They acted according to their programming and killed everyone… then blew themselves up. But the worst thing is, they were my work, those machines. Scarlet made them first, but I… I improved them. And I sent my father the schematics about a month or so before this happened. I had no idea…"

"You couldn't have known," she told me.

"But it's still my fault," I sniffled, my own eyes far from dry. "I'm so sorry, Marissa. My creations… took Mark away from you. Took his life and so many others. I can still see it sometimes, late at night. I hear the screams in my mind. During my investigation, I watched an unaltered copy of the security footage. I've never forgotten it."

Marissa took me in her arms and hugged me. "I thought I told you not to be so hard on yourself. This isn't your fault, Jessie. I don't blame you. I know you'd have never gone along with it."

I didn't want to cry, but I couldn't help it. "I wish I could believe it. I want to, but… just knowing my designs were used to hurt and kill so many people tears me apart…"

"That's why you left, isn't it?" she said.

"Yeah," I nodded, wiping my eyes. "That was part of it. I'm hiding, Marissa. From him. My father. He doesn't know where I am, that I'm in LOVELESS. That's why I didn't want to talk too openly about my time at Shinra when we were at the cafe the other day."

She wasn't surprised. "Shinra's got ears everywhere in this town. So I understand. He knows you know, doesn't he?"

"Right. And not just about what happened in Reactor 3, either. He and Scarlet were behind the destruction of Corel, too. And the incident when the Sector 5 train station went up, killing my mom, a lot of other people, and nearly taking me out, too."

"How could he do that to his own family?" she breathed.

I sighed. "Power's all he cares about."

"Oh, Jessie…" she said, one arm still around me.

I went on. "Reeve saved me that day. And when I left Shinra, I gave him all the evidence I'd collected, everything that proves my father was behind it all. It's being kept in a safe place, though I don't know if we'll ever be able to use it. But it's all there."

Marissa gazed at me. "So how can I help?"

"I… I don't know…" I blinked, surprised by her offer. "I mean, my father's out there, but he hasn't found me. As good as my life's become, I'm still afraid though, deep down, that he will. Kunsel knows about all this, of course. We've talked about it."

"Well, you know I'll keep your secret safe," she promised. "He's not going to find out about you from me. And if there's ever anything else I can do, I will. We're friends, Jessie."

I hugged her. "Thanks, Marissa. I appreciate it."

She smiled. "Of course. I'll stay in touch."

"You'd better!" I laughed.

We talked for a while longer, the hardest part finally behind us. But the guilt remained, and I wasn't sure if it would ever leave. As much as I wanted to believe her, I couldn't shake the sense of responsibility I felt for all the pain my creations had caused. Hopefully, someday, I'd finally be free of it. But until then, I'd keep living my life and enjoy what I had. My acting, my friends, and Kunsel.

I decided I could be happy with that.


	17. SIXTEEN

**SIXTEEN**

Four months later, we were engaged.

Kunsel had proposed to me about two months ago at Goblin's Bar. It might not have been the most romantic place for most people, but it was special to us. It was where we had first met. He had taken me there to celebrate my twenty-first birthday. I should've suspected something was up, what with how much more nicely he had dressed than usual as well as how nervous he had seemed. But I had just been happy to have him there with me that night.

After dinner, Kunsel had handed me the box almost shyly, wishing me a happy birthday as we had sat at our usual table, the piano's music filling the air with its sweet melody. I hadn't known what my gift was at first, though my heart had sped up on seeing how small it was. My eyes had gotten as big as my plate when I'd opened it up and caught sight of the ring. The diamond had glittered in the light, and I knew it must've taken a lot of paychecks for Kunsel to have afforded it.

Of course I'd said yes when he had dropped to one knee and asked me the question. I was beaming the whole time, and after he had taken the ring out of the box and had slid it onto my finger, I had kissed him long and deep, my lips pressing fiercely against his, thanking him both with words and with my tongue. Along with a night of sizzling passion when we'd finally gotten back to my place.

We hadn't been able to keep our engagement a secret for very long, and it had since become the talk of the town, tons of reporters gushing left and right about how "an ordinary young soldier had won the heart of one of Midgar's newest and biggest stars." They had just _loved_ going on about it, and if I had thought it was hard for us to go places without being noticed before, it was even tougher now. It seemed like there was always a camera around. We weren't surprised, though.

Over the past year, both my acting career and my relationship with Kunsel had kept on growing. I was having the time of my life, happy as could be, and as more time had passed without any sign that my father knew where I was or that Scarlet had recognized me, I started to feel as if I'd finally left them behind. So as Kunsel and I busied ourselves with planning our wedding, I put them out of my mind.

We had agreed on a private ceremony, just a few close friends, and we'd decided to get married in the spring. That was six months away. It gave us a good amount of time to get everything ready without it being too long a wait. Andrea had insisted on personally designing my dress, and I couldn't wait to see what he'd come up with. It was all so exciting, the preparations, the decisions, and the simple realization that this was really happening. I had to remind myself it wasn't a dream, and I snuck a glance at my ring whenever I got a chance.

"So, what about our honeymoon?" Kunsel asked. "Any ideas?"

We were walking slowly down the streets of Sector 8 late one night after I'd finished that evening's show. We held hands, took in the warm autumn air, and strolled along. I thought about his question, and when I did, I knew what I wanted to do. Bumping into Marissa at that cafe in Sector 4 a few months ago had given me the idea.

Now she was on the short list of friends and family to invite to the wedding, much to her delight. And as I walked with Kunsel that night, I thought of what Marissa had told me about the nice vacation her late husband had taken her on for their anniversary when we had both still been working at Shinra together.

"Costa del Sol," I smiled.

Kunsel laughed. "Never been there, but I hear it's a nice place."

I nodded. "Marissa said once that I should go there someday. And a honeymoon at the beach sounds perfect to me."

"I think I like that idea," he agreed.

"So, you're still not gonna tell Zack about us? That you're marrying Midgar's sweetheart?"

He smirked. "You like that the press calls you that, don't you?"

"It has a nice ring to it," I admitted.

"I'll bet," Kunsel chuckled. "But anyway, I wanna surprise him. He's gonna be shocked when he gets back!"

I'd been stunned myself when I had heard that Kunsel's best friend was the same Zack that I'd met so long ago. Kunsel had been surprised that I'd known him, even if it had only been a little. And although Zack had been officially declared dead for years, Kunsel still believed he was alive somewhere. I wanted to, as well. He'd been a nice guy, and Aerith deserved to have her man come home to her someday.

I admired how resilient she was and how nothing had ever seemed to get her down. I was sure that she missed Zack, but she hadn't let his loss keep her from living her life or finding happiness. Kunsel and I, we always chatted with Aerith whenever we saw her, and he always bought me one or more of her flowers every time.

I also hoped that, if Zack was still alive, then that shy, sweet soldier I'd liked was also alive somewhere. And if he was, I wished him well. It made me happy to think that might be the case, and so I decided that it was. Kunsel's hope gave me hope, too.

As we kept walking, I gradually realized that there was another set of footsteps following us now. I motioned for Kunsel to stop, and when I turned around and saw who was standing there, I gasped, a cold spike of fear stabbing at my heart, and stiffened. I'd never met the man I saw in front of me, but I knew exactly who he was and who he answered to. I'd seen him and a few others like him when I'd still been at Shinra. But I never thought they'd come for me.

The man was wearing a dark blue suit and pressed slacks that were almost black, and a white collared shirt. Both his shirt and jacket were open wide to show off his broad, smooth, and practically hairless chest. It probably made most girls swoon. That and his long tail of bright red hair. But I hadn't missed the hard, cold blue eyes that watched me from under a pair of dark goggles perched on his forehead.

"Your pop wants a word with ya," he said.

"What are you talking about?" I stepped away from him, my heart pounding. "I don't know you mean!"

He brandished a nasty-looking nightstick. "Oh, I think ya do."

"Back off, Reno!" Kunsel stepped in front of me.

"Ain't nothin' personal, _bitch!_ Just doin' my job. So how's about you just come along nice and quiet-like, Ms. Heidegger?"

I narrowed my eyes. "Fuck. You."

Kunsel and I ran, our shoes loud on the sidewalk. Reno was one of the Turks, Shinra's most infamous enforcers. They did all kinds of dirty work, from kidnapping to murder and virtually everything in between, and if they were out here looking for me, it could only mean one thing. My father had found me.

We cut into a nearby alley, my hand holding Kunsel's again, and we had just reached the next street when we suddenly skidded to a halt as another Turk walked out in front of us. His suit, gloves, and tie were all a very dark blue, and he was totally bald. The only hair on his head was from his thin, neatly-trimmed black beard, and dark sunglasses hid his eyes. He didn't have a weapon, though. And as strong as he seemed, he didn't look like he needed one.

"Hello, Jessica," he said. "Your father wants to see you."

"Well, I don't want to see him!" I spat. "I know what he'll do to me if I go back. Do you?"

He shook his head. "No. We're to bring you in."

"He wants her dead, Rude!" Kunsel snarled. "His own daughter. He means to kill her! You okay with that?"

Rude clenched his fists, brought them up, and sprang at Kunsel. He swung, right then left, but Kunsel was ready for him. He blocked, then hit Rude with a few jabs of his own. They circled as they fought, fists in front of them and flying at each other, and when Rude came near me, I ducked under his reaching arm and stomped on his foot.

He staggered back, and Kunsel hammered him with a punch to the gut before he could recover. But then a pair of strong arms grabbed me from behind and started dragging me backward. I kicked, screaming as loud as I could, and heard a familiar voice in my ear.

"Sorry, sugar," Reno said. "But it's my job."

Snarling, I shoved my elbow into his stomach. "Get the hell off me! Does your job include killing an unarmed woman?"

"The hell's that mean?" Reno growled.

He groaned and lost his grip on me the instant I hit him, and I ran as soon as I was free. Shoving Rude aside, Kunsel raced down the street with me. I wasn't sure where to go yet, but we had to put some distance between us and the Turks if we could. There were a lot of back alleys in Sector 8 and dozens of different side streets. Hopefully, we'd find a way to lose them in there, but as we kept on running, Reno and Rude in hot pursuit, we soon found out they weren't alone.

"Halt!" A Shinra soldier quickly brought up his gun as we emerged onto another street. "Or we'll open fire!"

There was a whole squad there, all armed, their rifles aimed at us. I saw they were spread out all along the street, probably as a way to trap us. I thought we could still get through, though, if we were fast enough. I wasn't going to let them take me.

Kunsel frowned. "On a civilian? Are you serious?"

"We've got our orders," the guard captain replied. "If you resist, it's shoot to kill. She's stolen Shinra's secrets, is in league with Wutai, and is a threat to Midgar's security!"

I exchanged a glance with Kunsel. He knew what to do. And being in SOLDIER, he was faster and stronger than any other Shinra trooper could ever be. We bolted for the nearest alley, gunfire chasing us all the way as we ran inside. There were shouts behind us as we kept on going, and more troops were waiting for us at the next street.

And so it went, Shinra soldiers chasing us across Sector 8 from one road to another, trying to kill me any chance they got. I had kicked off my heels ages ago, and although my sleeveless black dress wasn't really the best thing to wear when on the run, I managed well enough. As for Kunsel, he had his SOLDIER uniform on, but he didn't have his helmet and sword. He didn't usually bring them along with him when we went out together. Sector 8 was normally a safe place, after all.

After ducking into another alley and throwing off our pursuers, at least for the moment, I caught my breath, then tore open my purse and took out the transmitter Cait had given me. I had always kept it on me at all times, just in case something like this ever happened. My back to the brick wall, I pressed the button to call him.

"Cait! Cait, are you there!?" I said, trying without much success to keep the rising panic out of my voice.

He came back at once. "Lassie! What's wrong!?"

My hand shook as I gripped the transmitter. "He's found me, Cait! He's found me! My father! I need to talk to Reeve! Now!"

"Jessica!" Reeve's voice came on seconds later. "Where are you?"

"In an alley off of 3rd Street. There are soldiers everywhere, all over the sector! They're trying to kill me! And the Turks are after me, too! I don't know where to go!"

When he answered, his voice was firm but steady. "First, try to stay calm, Jessica. I have a plan. I was hoping it wouldn't come to this, but I don't see that we have much of a choice."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I'll explain later. Right now, I need you to tell me something. Can you get over to 17th Street, by the ramp to the highway?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I think so."

"Good. Do it. I'll meet you there. Is Kunsel with you?"

"Yes, sir," Kunsel said. "I'm here."

Reeve went on. "Make sure she gets there, Kunsel. No matter what. It's her only chance."

"Understood. She'll make it, Director. I'll see to it."

"Very well," Reeve said. "I'll also send Cait to draw off some of the soldiers to clear you a path over there. So please hurry."

I swallowed. "We will, Reeve. Thank you."

"Good luck, to both of you," he replied. "Now go!"

I clicked off and put the transmitter back in my purse, then we got moving again. We jogged, trying to conserve our energy, and made our way from one street to the next. We had quite a few to go. I was hoping we wouldn't run into Reno and Rude again, but there was no way to be sure. We'd left them behind a while ago, but there were a lot of ways to get around in here, ways they could possibly head us off if they figured out where we were going.

When our trip took us onto LOVELESS Avenue by the theater, we started to hurry past it, but stopped when we saw yet another squad of soldiers ahead of us. They hadn't seen us yet, fortunately, but there was no telling how long that would last. We went back the other way, but as soon as we did, we froze when we saw another Turk walking down the street toward us from that direction.

He was dressed in a crisp dark blue suit and a white collared shirt, but they were both neatly buttoned. His long, jet black hair hung down his back, and there was a dot in the middle of his forehead. He was the leader of the Turks, I remembered, and his brown eyes looked coldly at me. Tseng. That was his name.

"It seems you've been giving us the runaround, Ms. Heidegger," he said. "But that ends now."

The soldiers from the other end of the street marched toward us. I shivered, realizing that they'd cut off both ways out of here. They raised their rifles as Tseng lifted his hand. Was this it? I didn't want to believe it. We hadn't come this far to be stopped now. Kunsel tensed himself to fight, intending to give me time to get away. I stood ready, knowing I'd only have one chance to escape.

But then, Aerith walked out of the nearby alley. "Oh, wouldn't you know it? So much ruckus! No wonder it's been a slow night."

She walked in between us and the soldiers and winked at me as she stood close. They hesitated as Tseng began lowering his arm, frowning at the sudden interruption. What was Aerith thinking? She was putting herself in danger by being here.

"Aerith," Tseng said. "This isn't your concern."

She turned on him. "Oh, I think it is! You've gone and scared away all my customers, you meanie! People aren't gonna buy flowers if there are soldiers everywhere shooting at innocent people. Really! You ought to know better than that, Tseng!"

Just then, the soldiers started shouting in confusion, and we saw a familiar black and furry shape bouncing back and forth amongst them, kicking and jumping and causing all kinds of havoc. It was Cait, just in time! He knocked a few of the soldiers over, then scampered away just enough to get the rest to follow him. I could hear his voice teasing and taunting them as he went, and although the soldiers fired at him again and again, Cait was way too quick.

"Now!" Aerith whirled on us. "Into the alley! Run!"

"But what about you?" I asked.

She smiled. "I'll be okay, Jessie. Don't worry. They won't hurt me."

I stared at her. "How do you know that?"

"I just do," Aerith took my shoulder. "Now go! Hurry!"

Kunsel urged me toward the alley. "She's right, Jessie. She'll be fine. We need to get moving."

We hurried into the alley by the theater as Tseng shouted orders to the remaining soldiers behind us. Aerith stood with her arms stretched out to either side, blocking the way in as if she could keep them out all by herself. And to my surprise, she did just that. I took a last look back at her before Kunsel and I cut into the next street. Tseng wouldn't allow the troops to hurt Aerith or move her aside. I didn't understand it, but I was grateful for her help nonetheless.

We made our way toward 17th Street, getting closer now. After we'd rushed down 16th Street and Kunsel had fought off a trio of guards who had made the mistake of trying to stop us, we slipped into an alley that would take us over to our destination. But just as we were almost to the end, we froze as Reno and Rude casually walked out from either side of 17th Street to block our path.

Kunsel stepped in front of me. "Out of our way!"

"Easy, SOLDIER…" Reno drawled. Then he glanced at Rude. "You sure about this, partner?"

Rude simply nodded. And then, to my astonishment, he and Reno both stepped out of the way. Kunsel and I didn't move at first, sure this was a trap of some kind. But neither of the Turks was making any kind of threatening move. They just stood there, one of them on each side of the alley's exit. Then Reno got a call.

He answered his phone. "Yeah? What is it, boss? The girl? She ain't here. Might've doubled back. Later."

After he hung up, I just stared at him. "Why?"

Reno shrugged. "I hate shitty orders. And knockin' off a cute babe ain't in my job description."

"Get moving," Rude added.

We did, but as we went past them, I turned back to them for just a moment. "Thank you…"

Reno brushed it off. "Just get outta here."

Then they were gone, Reno following Rude inside the narrow alley we'd just come from. Sharing a determined glance, Kunsel and I rushed down 17th Street toward the highway exit. It wasn't far, and as we went, we didn't spot any other soldiers around. I wondered if Reno and Rude had been responsible for that.

Reeve was waiting for us in an empty parking lot near the highway. His car sat running behind him, and Cait stood nearby. I hugged them both, relieved that I'd made it this far even as I wondered where I could possibly go from here. I couldn't go back home or to the theater and go on as if nothing had happened tonight. And as I started to understand what it meant, I felt a hard lump in my throat.

"Jessica," Reeve sighed. "This is going to be hard for you, probably the hardest thing you've ever done. But…"

"But what, Reeve?" I said, suddenly afraid.

He laid his hands on my shoulders. "You have to leave the plate. It's not safe for you here anymore. In the slums, you'll have a better chance of staying hidden. It's… a different world down there."

I shook my head. "There's gotta be a way I can stay! I have a whole life up here! I… I don't want to lose everything again!"

"I'm sorry," he said. "But it's the only way. No matter where you are on the plate, your father will find you sooner or later. And if you try to go back home and to your old life, he _will_ find you and have you killed. Moving to the slums is your only hope."

I walked away a few steps and looked up at the sky, not wanting to believe that my life was falling apart again. This couldn't be happening! It just couldn't! My career, my friends, my home, everything I had built was gone. Almost everything, anyway. I looked over at Kunsel, needing him now more than ever. At least… at least I'd still have him. I thought I could live with that. It wasn't the future we had planned or hoped for, but we'd still be together. That was all that mattered.

"I guess you're right," I admitted. Then I slid into Kunsel's arms. "I can do this, as long as you're with me."

But he wouldn't meet my gaze. He simply looked away, exchanging a pained glance with Reeve. I didn't understand at first. But then, as we stood there together, I knew. And the lump in my throat hardened into solid rock as I gazed up at him in disbelief and my heart felt as though someone had stuck a knife in it.

Kunsel gently stroked my cheek. "Jessie…"

"No…" I breathed, tears spilling down my cheeks. "No! Don't do it! Don't stay behind, Kunsel! Please!"

"Jessie, I… I can't go with you. I'm sorry…"

I squeezed his shoulders, staring at Kunsel as I trembled with both rage and sadness. _"Why!?_ Goddamn it, _why!?"_

He held me close as I cried. "Up here, I can do more for you than if I went with you. I've thought about this a lot since we've been together. It's something I always knew I might have to do."

"I don't understand," I sniffled.

"Because I'm in SOLDIER, I fall under your father's command, and I can use that to keep tabs on him and what he's doing. You know that I also hear things there, secrets that Shinra doesn't want getting out. And you're one of them. I can use that to keep him away from you. I'm sure he'll be watching me close for a while, too."

I clung to him. "I don't want to lose you, Kunsel!"

"I know," he said, running his hand through my hair. "But if I went with you, I might end up leading your father straight to you. SOLDIER isn't easy to leave, and it doesn't go unnoticed. I'm not going to let him use me to find you, Jessie."

"Kunsel…" I sobbed. "Please… please come with me…"

He kissed me. "I'm sorry. But I have to stay. And I can also use the fact that your father's likely to have an eye on me to feed him false info about you, give him the runaround, and make him think you're still up here. I'll keep him off your back as long as I can."

I glanced at Reeve. "You knew?"

"Yes," he said. "We talked about it. But it was his idea, Jessica. And his decision. I wish it could've been different."

Kunsel gently turned me back to him. "Jessie…"

"What is it?" I murmured.

"If I… if I have to lose you to save you, I will," he told me. His eyes were as wet as mine. "I love you…"

I kissed him even as I cried. "I love you, too."

"There's an old church near the outskirts of the Sector 5 slums," he went on. "I'll have Aerith meet you there."

My heart breaking, I just held onto Kunsel and wept, tears blinding me as they kept sliding down my face. I didn't want to let him go. I just wished we could stay together, more than anything. But we couldn't. It was too dangerous, as much as I hated to admit it. And as I understood that, I sighed and slid the ring off my finger. The sight of the diamond's glittering facets was terribly bittersweet, like a reflection of all our days together, all our memories.

"Here…" I held it out. "To remember me by…"

He blinked away tears, shook his head, and gently folded my hand over the ring as his own voice broke. "No, Jessie. You keep it. You won't have anything down there, and… you'll need money to eat and survive and start over again. It… it'll fetch a… good price."

"No! I couldn't do that! I _won't_ do it!"

"Then just keep it," he replied, drawing me into his arms again. "As a reminder of how much I love you."

I hugged him tightly, memorizing how he felt, the smell of him, the sound of his heart beating, everything. Then I took his face in both my hands and kissed him passionately, pressing my lips against his, letting him feel my love in the only way I could. I opened my mouth, and our tongues melted together as my fingers slid around to grasp the back of his head while his circled my waist and held me close.

I don't think either of us ever stopped crying the whole time. Then we pulled away for air, and this time he was the one holding my face as imprinted a long and tender kiss on my mouth. I didn't want to let him go, to leave and never see him again. But I didn't have a choice. I kissed him back, as long as I could, until we had to come up for air. And then I looked up at him, my cheeks wet.

He caressed my cheek. "In spite of everything, I'm glad we met. I'm so happy you walked into the bar that night. It changed my whole life. I won't forget you, Jessie. Not ever."

"I'm not gonna forget you, either," I cried. "I love you…"

Kunsel gazed at me. "I love you, too…"

We held each other so tightly for one last, long moment, neither of us wanting to say what we knew had to be said. But I had to leave, and soon. Tseng and those Shinra troops were still out there, and if I didn't go now, they'd catch me and finish the job.

I took a long, deep breath. "Goodbye, Kunsel…"

"Goodbye, Jessie," he whispered.

After sharing one last, lingering kiss with him, I reluctantly ripped myself away from him and went to Reeve's car, fresh tears spilling over my cheeks as I looked back. Kunsel watched as I got inside, and as Cait hopped in with me and Reeve slid behind the wheel, my eyes never left Kunsel. I kept on looking at him through the window as we pulled out of the parking lot and drove onto the highway.

I didn't look away for a long time.


	18. SEVENTEEN

**SEVENTEEN**

I sat in Reeve's car as we drove down the highway. There wasn't too much traffic at this time of night. Not that I cared. Pain was all I knew, the terrible ache of loss throbbed dully in my heart. Although my eyes were dry for the moment, I knew I hadn't done the last of my crying. It threatened to overwhelm me, grief as deep as what I'd felt when I'd lost my mom. Now… Kunsel was gone, too.

"You're taking me away from my life again," I sighed bitterly.

Reeve kept driving. "I know. I'm sorry…"

My hands clenched into fists as I sat in the front passenger seat, the hurt and sadness giving way to anger. Why was this happening again? I didn't understand it, the injustice of it, the unfairness of it all. I put my head in my hands for a moment, hating my father and Shinra for what they'd so cruelly taken from me. The life I'd built in Sector 8, my career as an actress, my friends, my home, and most of all… Kunsel.

"Why didn't you warn me!?" I glared at Reeve.

I knew it wasn't his fault, but at the moment, I didn't care. The pain and anger swirling inside me needed an outlet, and he was the closest I could reach. Everything I'd known, everything I'd built for myself, had just been shattered and torn apart.

His voice was steady, but I knew he was hurting, too. "I would have done that, but I had no idea your father was on to you. Cait and I have been watching his activities for months, ever since you left Shinra, but he never gave any indication that he knew where you were. However, I wonder now if that's what I was supposed to see…"

"What do you mean?" I demanded.

"Most of my surveillance was done on your father, to monitor how his search for you was progressing. But, unfortunately, I think he was a decoy. Your father knew, even while you were still there, that you and I were close, more than your normal boss and employee. He might have taken advantage of that, knowing that I would focus most of my spying on him—we all do it to each other to varying degrees, and we all know about it—and that I wouldn't be paying as much attention elsewhere as I should've been. Damn, I was such a fool…"

I thought I understood. "Scarlet. That bitch must've connected the dots after she saw me at LOVELESS. But why would she have waited so long to act? That was almost a year ago."

"Tonight's operation must've taken some planning," Reeve thought aloud. "I'm sure you saw how empty the streets were. They were trying to fence you in and pin you down. Remember, though, that Scarlet and your father have other responsibilities at Shinra. And once they figured out where you were and where you lived, there was no rush to go after you. You didn't have any reason to leave, after all."

"And every reason to stay," I muttered. "Scarlet must've set this up, knowing you'd have most of your attention on my father. They must've been counting on it. He's not smart enough to plan this out on his own, but Scarlet sure as hell is. And we fell for it."

Reeve sighed. "The important thing is that you're still alive."

My eyes narrowed. "But I've lost everything! Again! My home! My friends! My career! The man I love! All of it! I hate this! Why does this keep happening!? Why can't he just leave me alone!? Why couldn't you have seen what they were doing!? Why!? Why…?"

My voice broke then, and the tears came back, flooding my face as I sat there in Reeve's car and the life and love that I'd known fell further and further behind me. I cried until I was out of breath, and then I just kept quiet for the rest of the trip, emotionally drained and heartbroken as memories of better days filled my mind.

Eventually, we pulled onto an abandoned off ramp. Reeve used his Shinra ID card on the scanner to pass through the construction barrier that had been put up some time ago. This part of the elevated highway was still being built, but Shinra didn't seem to be in any hurry about it. We drove through and followed the road until it just stopped, hanging over the outer edge of the plate like the start of some invisible bridge to nowhere. It was the end of the line.

Reeve turned the car off, but we didn't get just yet. I looked at him. "Reeve, I… I'm sorry for lashing out at you. It's not your fault. You did everything you could for me, and I'm grateful. It's just… I didn't think I would ever have to go through this again."

"You don't have anything to apologize for, Jessica," he said.

"Thank you," I managed a weak smile. "So… why did we come way out here? Why not take the train?"

Reeve unbuckled his seat belt. "It's a good bet that Scarlet and your father are having the train stations watched, especially now that you've escaped from their little trap. But the trains aren't the only way you can get down to the slums."

"What do you mean?" I wondered.

"There's an old service elevator not far from here, just on the other side of the guardrail. It goes all the way down to the ground outside the gate to the Sector 5 slums. Not many people go in or out that way, so it should be safe. You'll need a keycard to get inside, but don't worry. Cait acquired one for you from the Shinra security office."

I unfastened my own belt. "How'd he have time for that?"

"I put some things together for you a while back," Reeve explained. "Just in case something like this ever happened."

"I appreciate it. I don't know what I would've done tonight without your help, Reeve. You and Cait. You've always been there for me. Mom would be grateful for all you've done."

His eyes closed for a moment. "I hope so."

"What is it between you and her?" I asked. "What happened?"

"Amanda was… important to me," Reeve said.

He opened his eyes, his gaze forward as his hands rested on his lap. I didn't understand his meaning at first. I knew they had been friends, close friends, for a very long time. But then I thought again about that day at the Sector 5 station when he and I had seen her off. How he and Mom had looked at each other.

And then I knew. "You loved her…"

Reeve nodded slowly. "I still do, Jessica. Very much. That's another reason I've always tried to help you as much as I can. Aside from being my goddaughter, you're also the daughter of the woman I love. I wasn't able to save her, but I promised her and myself I would do everything I could to protect you and keep you safe."

"Why did she marry my father?" I wondered.

"I've asked myself that question many times over the years. He and I both courted her, you know. It was where our long feud began. I tried to warn your mother about him, but she was convinced she could help him change and be a better man. And she didn't want to risk damaging our friendship if an attempt at a more intimate relationship between us didn't work out. So she chose to be with your father."

I thought then about what I'd read in Mom's diary, that final entry. And was sure Reeve didn't know how she had felt. I still had the book, it was in my purse since it was another thing I often kept with me. And as I looked at him, I made a decision. He deserved to know, however it might make him feel. Opening my purse, I took out the book, feeling it there in my hands one last time.

Then I held it out to him. "Mom kept a diary. I've read it, all of it. I came across things that I think you should know. At first, I wasn't sure if I should tell you, because I didn't know if it would hurt for you to see what's in here. But I think she'd want you to have it. You see, Reeve, she realized, at the end, that she'd made a mistake."

"What…?" he stared at me.

"She said that I was the only good thing that came from being with my father. And she also wrote that, once she and I were settled into our new life and were finally safe from him, that she… she wanted to make a different choice this time. A better choice. In the end, she chose you, Reeve. She loved you, too."

He took the diary and closed his eyes again. For a long time, he sat there, the book in his hands as he thought about what I'd told him. As I watched him, I gently laid a hand on his shoulder. Even though things hadn't gone the way either of us had wanted, we were still family. And I felt that lump in my throat harden again as I realized I still had another hard goodbye to say. Two, actually.

Eventually, Reeve opened his eyes, a small, bittersweet smile on his face. "Thank you, Jessica. This… this means a great deal to me. It hurts a little, but it also helps. To know that she loved me, that she wanted to give us a chance to be together… it makes her absence easier for me to bear. I miss her, just as you miss Kunsel."

I had to fight back more tears at the mention of Kunsel. "I know. It won't be easy, but… I think we'll both heal… in time."

"We will," he agreed.

After a moment or two, we all got out of the car. Reeve opened the trunk and took out a dark gray backpack. Then he unzipped it to show me what was inside. A few changes of clothes—plain things that would fit in down in the slums, not the fancy dresses I'd gotten used to having on up here—a pair of sturdy brown boots, a few small, carefully sealed bags of nonperishable food, and a small toolkit.

"A few things to help you get started," Reeve explained.

I raised an eyebrow. "What are the tools for?"

He handed me the keycard to unlock the gate. "I thought your old skills might be useful down there to help you get by."

"They might," I nodded.

I wasn't sure how I felt about that, though. I had stayed away from computers and tech stuff for the most part since I'd left Shinra. With all that had happened there because of my work, I hadn't felt comfortable with it. I had needed time away from it. But now, it seemed like I didn't have a choice but to put those skills to use again. Hopefully, the results would be better this time. I needed to know I could use what I knew to do good, to help others instead of hurt them.

Reeve pointed past the guardrail behind him. "The lift is right over there. It was used to move heavy construction materials in between the plate and the slums, back when Shinra was still building this place. It's virtually abandoned now, but the elevator still works. It's quite large, so you can't miss it. You should… get going."

I put my purse inside my backpack and zipped it shut while Reeve closed the trunk of his car. Cait stood nearby, his long tail swishing idly behind him. Setting my backpack down on the ground for a moment, I scooped him up into my arms, tears spilling from my eyes as I hugged him. I couldn't help giggling a little, though, as his whiskers tickled my face. He could always make me smile.

"Goodbye, Cait," I sniffled. "I'll miss you…"

"I'll miss ye too, lass," he said. "Don't forget, ye can always call mae with yer transmitter. We'll be here for ye."

When I let go of him and put him down, Reeve took his place. As I held onto him, I cried, the enormity of what I was doing hitting me all at once. Aside from Aerith, if I found her, I would be alone in a world I didn't know or understand. I felt lost, adrift, and lonely. Ever since that first day at Shinra, Reeve had been there for me, an anchor keeping me afloat in these turbulent years. But now I'd been cut loose, and I had no idea where I would end up. I looked up at him.

"Thank you," I wept. "Thank you… for everything."

His own eyes weren't quite dry. "You're welcome, Jessica. And good luck. Please take care."

"Will I ever see you again?" I asked.

"I don't know," Reeve tightened his embrace. "I hope so."

I wiped my eyes. "So do I, Reeve. So do I…"

"Goodbye, Jessica…" he whispered.

I hugged him. "Goodbye…"

Reluctantly, I let go of him, put on my backpack, and walked away. After I stepped over the guardrail, I turned around for a moment to see them still standing there, watching me. I lifted a hand and waved, tears sliding down my cheeks. They waved back, and then I turned away and started walking again. A moment later, I heard the car doors open and shut and the engine start. I stopped and listened as it drove away, and I didn't move again until it was gone.

I was alone. Completely, totally alone.

Adjusting my backpack on my shoulders, I went on until I reached the elevator. It was huge, as Reeve had said, and enclosed in thick glass walls fitted with metal frames at the corners. The doors slid open when I got close enough, and inside was a large, blocky panel with only a few buttons, all lined up in a column. Swallowing, I pressed the one on the bottom. It was round, black, and cold.

The doors closed, and the lift started to descend with a slight jolt. I watched out the windows as I went down, the elevator taking me away from the world I knew and into one I didn't. To one side, over the outer wall, the rocky badlands stretched into the night. And on the other, the underbelly of Midgar slowly came into a view, a sight I'd never seen but would never forget. The huge central pillar, and the eight smaller ones in a wide circle around it, one per sector.

It was a quiet journey and seemed to be longer than it was. I felt so much loss and emptiness, and it grew the farther away the lift took me from the plate. I felt so alone. More than anything, I wished Kunsel was there with me. I wished none of this had happened. All I wanted was to be back home with him, safe in his arms. But that was gone now, all of it. And he… he was gone, too.

He had stayed up there on the plate to protect me, to save me, even though it had meant sacrificing our future together, our dreams for all we might've had with each other. All I had left now were the memories, ones I'd always cherish. Those and all the messages and photos we had shared. They were still on my phone.

I'd have to get a new one to keep from being found again because it was likely that Scarlet and my father knew this number by now. I'd also have to hack into it soon and disable the location trackers embedded in the firmware. I'd still keep the phone, though. There was so much of us on it—the selfies, other photos, and little love notes that we'd sent each other every day. I couldn't bear to lose all that.

I missed Kunsel terribly and knew I always would. He had become my whole world this past year, and between him and my acting, I'd had a wonderful, exciting, and happy life in Sector 8. But now it was gone. I didn't want to believe it. But it was. My world and my life had just been ripped away, and all I could think of was what I'd lost.

My eyes stayed on the plate as I continued to descend.

* * *

The first thing that hit me was the smell.

As soon as I stepped outside the lift and onto the barren ground by the high, semitransparent wall that separated the slums from the dusty badlands, my hands flew to my mouth and nose. I coughed for a good five minutes, bending over as my eyes burned. It was like some terrible cocktail made out of alcohol, bleach, and ammonia. Was this… mako? I'd never gotten close enough to the reactors to get a good idea of what it smelled like, but I didn't think it could be anything else.

When I had recovered enough to move on, I went over to the gate. It wasn't very far from the elevator. After I swiped the keycard through the reader, the door slid open, and I walked into the slums. There were a lot of shadows amidst the piles of junk and scrap metal that lined the dirt trail, and the only light came from a lonely streetlamp standing off to one side. It wasn't very bright, though.

Before went any further, I stopped for a minute to put on the boots Reeve had given me. I didn't know what might be laying on the ground in this place, and I didn't want to get my bare feet any dirtier than they already were. I also found a few pairs of socks in my bag, so I put them on, too. When I was ready, I slid my backpack onto my shoulders again and started moving slowly down the path.

I saw the church long before I actually got to it. It was old, just like Kunsel had said, with broken blocks of stone lying around outside of it. The place seemed to be more or less intact, though, but as it came into view around the corner, I saw something really odd about it. There was a huge, gaping hole in the roof, toward the back, and filling up most of it was a rocket, of all things. It stabbed through the slanted red shingles nose downward like a giant finger.

When I got to the church, I pushed open one of the wooden doors and went inside. The floor creaked under my feet as I walked across its faded planks. A row of rounded stone columns, some of them broken, stood at regular intervals along either side of the sanctuary, meeting in curved arches at the tops, and beyond them, the stained glass windows were dark at this time of night. I was sure that in the daytime, they'd be a nicer sight with the sunlight shining through them.

From the rafters high overhead hung several unlit chandeliers, and two columns of old wooden pews sat silently on both sides of the aisle. On an elevated dais at the back of the church sat a modest altar, and on either side, a large, faded red tapestry hung from the wall. There was a small door on one side that must've led into the steeple.

But the strangest and most curious thing of all was the wide patch of flowers growing out of the floor in the large space between the front row of pews and the dais. The floor itself had been torn out in a rough circle and the planks tossed aside so the flowers could grow right from the soft patch of ground underneath.

Setting my backpack down on one of the front pews, I walked right up to the flowers to get a closer look. They were mostly white, red, and yellow, with an occasional blue or purple blossom, and looked like they were well cared for. So this was where she grew them. Their scent filled the whole sanctuary, and I realized with a start that the air was actually fresh in here. I took a deep breath and let it fill my lungs, glad to be rid of that mako stench at least for a little while.

Aerith wasn't here yet, so I figured I must've gotten here before her. So I sat down on the floor in front of the flowers to wait. But as I gazed at them and inhaled their nice fragrance, thoughts of Kunsel, of my life on the plate, the time we'd spent together, how he'd always watched me on stage, being under the lights—they hit me in an instant like a punch to my stomach, and the tears burst out again.

I buried my head in my hands and wept. I hardly even noticed the sound of the door opening, of soft, booted footsteps walking across the floor toward me. I kept crying, barely aware of it as someone sat down next to me. But when Aerith slid an arm around my shoulders, I rested my head on hers. She took me into her arms, and I poured out my grief in one pained sob after another.

Aerith never said a word. She simply let me vent the pain and hurt and loss that I felt. Standing up, I went over to the nearest column and started pounding on it with my fists, even kicking it a little. I was angry as well as sad, furious and heartbroken, blinded by tears as I yelled and cried again and again, over and over.

My hands and feet hurt from doing it, but I didn't care. Neither did the stone column. So I kept unloading on it, sobbing and smashing, my nose a faucet as rivers ran from my eyes, until I finally wore myself out and slumped back down to the floor. I sat there in front of the column, my hands and feet throbbing and my heart hurting more than either of them, and tried to catch my breath.

Aerith sat with me again, her hand returning to my shoulder, and I took it, tears still spilling down my cheeks one after another in a steady stream. I just couldn't seem to stop them as my chest kept hitching and I kept sniffling. And then I realized I wasn't the only one. I looked over and saw that Aerith's face was wet, too.

"Why… why are you crying?" I asked.

She wiped her nose. "My friend's in pain. She's suffering. And I feel for her. Because I've been where she is."

I hugged Aerith tightly, grateful for her empathy, compassion, and understanding and glad for her company. And as I did, I finally calmed down, letting everything out in a long, deep breath. I felt hollowed out inside, drained, and tired.

"Thank you…" I murmured, letting go of her.

She smiled, went over to her basket where she must've put it on the floor earlier, and took out a box of tissues. As she came back to me, she opened it, pulled one out for her, and offered me the box. I took a few tissues and wiped off my face as she sat down, set it in front of us, then dabbed at her eyes and nose. When she was finished, she put our used tissues in one of the pockets of her red jacket.

Aerith took my hand. "You're welcome. I know it's hard right now, what you're going through, but things do work out in the end. So don't give up, Jessie. I've got a feeling there's a reason you're down here, aside from what happened tonight."

"What do you mean?" I wondered.

She stood up, put her hands behind her back, and took a few steps. "Oh, the planet works in mysterious ways. You might say it's alive. And it knows what it's doing. So I think this is where you were meant to be, Jessie. Take some comfort in that."

I joined her. "But why here? I don't understand."

"I wish I could say," Aerith answered. "But I really don't know. Call it intuition if you want. I do know that the places we're supposed to be in aren't easy, but they _are_ right."

"I suppose," I said. "So what do I do now?"

She picked up her basket. "Here's the plan. You're gonna come back to my house and stay with me for a little while until we get you on your feet again. I know Mom won't mind."

I shook my head. "I couldn't. I don't want to impose."

"Don't you worry about that," Aerith brushed off my concern. "You need a friend as well as someone who can teach you all about life in the slums. And that's me."

"Thanks, Aerith," I managed a weak smile.

She hugged me. "You're not alone, Jessie. And things'll get better in time, trust me. They won't be the same, of course, but you'll be alright. There's always hope. Remember that."

I nodded. "I will."

"Good!" Aerith grinned, letting go. "Now, shall we go?"

I picked up my backpack. "I'm ready."

She took a few steps, then stopped and snapped her fingers. "That's right, I almost forgot! You should change out of that dress if you can. It wouldn't be good to walk around down here in something like that, I'm afraid. The slums aren't exactly safe."

"I've heard about that," I said, opening my bag and taking out some of the clothes Reeve had packed me.

Aerith turned around while I got changed. "Thugs and bandits and worse all wander around down here. I really like your dress, Jessie, but I'm afraid it does stand out like a great big sign just asking for someone to rob you. Best not to take any chances."

I put it in my backpack. "What about yours?"

"Mine's a bit on the plain side. Colorful, but ordinary. Doesn't stick out here. Yours looks pretty expensive, though, and in the slums, that'll get you attention you don't want."

"Guess that's my first lesson, huh?" I chuckled.

Aerith grinned. "Yep! Oh, actually it's the second. Your first lesson is, always listen to Aerith!"

I laughed and gave her a mock salute. "Yes, ma'am!"

"That's a good sign, you know," she smiled.

"What is?" I asked.

Aerith gave my shoulder a playful punch. "That you're smiling and laughing. You're going on, in spite of what's happened."

"I'm still hurting, though," I said.

"I know, and you will for a while," she agreed.

She was right. "Yeah. But I have to keep moving, keep going. I can't let what you, Kunsel, and the others did for me be for nothing. I'm not sure what's ahead, but I'll manage. Somehow."

Aerith winked. "Exactly! You'll be okay, Jessie. Ready?"

"Let's go," I told her.

I straightened out the plain green shirt and blue jeans I had put on and tightened the laces on my boots. The clothes fit well enough, and I was glad Reeve had given them to me. But if this place was as rough as he and Aerith had told me it was, then I decided I might need to come up with something a bit more practical and protective.

Giving me an approving smile, Aerith led me back up the aisle. On the way, she picked up a plain, slender staff that she'd left by the doors. Then we went outside. It was still dark, and the mako smell was still in the air, but the place itself didn't seem quite as bad as it had earlier. As I walked with Aerith down the dirt path, I knew why.

I wasn't alone anymore.


	19. EIGHTEEN

**EIGHTEEN**

It took us about twenty minutes or so to reach the main settlement in the Sector 5 slums. It was a collection of ramshackle buildings made of wood, corrugated steel sheets, and assorted bits of scrap metal. They were bolted together to make homes, shops, and other places. Even late as it was, there was still some activity and a few people on the dirt trails that passed for streets down here.

Aerith led me through the place, down one road and then another, until we got close to the northern edge of town. But when we got there, she stopped for a moment. We stood near a long two-story building in the middle of a small field. There was actually some grass here, which I had to blink to make sure it was really there. No doubt Aerith had been involved in helping it grow, just like her flowers.

"This is the Leaf House," she explained. "It's an orphanage. A lot of kids lost their parents during the war with Wutai. So this is their home now. We do what we can for them."

"We?" I wondered.

Aerith smiled. "Well, it's more the house staff than me. I just come by sometimes and bring flowers to make the place look pretty. It makes the kids smile, and I do, too!"

I saw the flower gardens lining the building. "Yeah. It always made me happy whenever Kunsel gave them to me."

"I know," she murmured, taking my shoulder.

The memories were still hard to think about right now, so I pushed them aside with a sigh. "Aerith, I noticed that the air here smells a little cleaner. Not as much mako. The flowers?"

"Yeah. They help keep it away. Another reason I bring them here. I don't want the kids getting sick."

"Shinra's never done anything about the fumes?" I asked.

She shook her head. "No. I doubt they will."

"They won't," I agreed, thinking then about the years that I'd spent in that terrible place. "They don't care."

"It's sad, but that's how it is down here, I'm afraid."

I nodded. "I can see that. And I'm sorry."

Aerith slid an arm around my shoulder. "Thanks, but it's okay. You don't have anything to apologize for. Just because you lived on the plate doesn't mean you're to blame, Jessie. Now what do you say we go home and eat ourselves stupid? Mom's cooking's the best!"

"Lead the way," I chuckled.

There was a narrow dirt road that led past the orphanage and away from town. We took it, Aerith ahead of me, and followed it as it curved toward the central pillar. As we went on, the mounds of discarded junk eventually gave way to dusty slopes as the road climbed slightly higher, and when we finally reached the clearing where her house was, I had to stop and stare, my mouth falling open.

Flowers were everywhere.

I gazed at the place in stunned amazement. The low hill leading up to the house was blanketed with them, all kinds and colors, growing in deep green grass amidst the rocky bluffs. A pair of wooden bridges led across a stream of water that flowed peacefully through the area, and at the back of the little clearing stood Aerith's home.

It was a real house, not like the other buildings I'd seen here in the slums. Roughly six-sided, with a patio, shingled roof, and a balcony up above the second floor. Pots of flowers were hung from the sides of the patio, and a clean cobblestone path led to the front door. Nearby, a real waterfall spilled down the side of the cliff wall and into the stream. The sound of the water splashing off the rocks was incredibly soothing, and I just stood there for a minute to take it all in.

"This is amazing…" I breathed. "You did all this?"

Aerith nodded. "Yep! Well, me and Mom. We work on it every day. She can tell you more about it."

I followed her down the path and into the house. It was clean, very cozy, and warm. Paintings and pictures hung on the dark wooden walls while pots of flowers stood on shelves underneath. In the middle of the main room stood a round oak table with a vase of flowers in the center. Four chairs sat around it, and a set of stairs wound up along the wall to the second floor. On one side of the room was a small kitchen, modest but as neat and tidy as everything else.

An older woman, maybe in her early forties, looked up from where she'd been tending to some of the flowers with a small watering can. As we walked in, she set it on the table, smoothed out the folds of her dark green cotton dress, and glanced curiously at me. The sleeves were long, but she'd pushed them up to her elbows, and over her dress she wore a plain white apron. Her dark blond hair was pulled back into a bun, and she had a pair of soft brown boots on her feet.

"There you are, Aerith," she said, her blue eyes shifting over to her. "I was wondering when you'd be home."

"Had a little trouble on the plate, but I'm okay," Aerith replied.

The woman looked her over. "You're alright?"

Aerith grinned. "I'm fine, Mom. No need to worry. And this here's Jessie. She's my friend. Jessie Jae."

"The actress?" her mom raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, ma'am," I said. "Well, at least I used to be. That life… it's gone now. I guess that name has to go, too. It would only complicate things. So instead, just call me… Jessie Rasberry."

Aerith giggled. "Like the fruit?"

"Sort of," I smiled. "It's my mom's maiden name."

Her mom nodded. "I see. It's nice to meet you, Jessie Rasberry. I'm Elmyra Gainsborough."

I shook her hand. "Thanks, Mrs. Gainsborough."

"Please, just call me Elmyra," she smiled. "No need to be so formal. Anyway, what brings you here?"

"Well, um…" I began. I wasn't quite sure what to say.

Fortunately, Aerith took over without missing a beat. "She's gonna be staying with us for a little while."

Elmyra's hands went to her hips. "Is she now?"

"Yeah. Jessie's new to the slums, Mom. She needs our help."

"Don't you have anywhere to go back to?" she asked me. She wasn't angry, though. I'd been afraid she would be, but instead, she was simply concerned and puzzled, and I didn't blame her.

I sighed. "No, not anymore. Like I said, it… it's all gone."

"I see," Elmyra replied. Then she smiled again. "In that case, make yourself at home, Jessie."

"Um, I will. Thank you again," I said.

Aerith laughed as she motioned to the stairs. "I'll show you to your room, Jessie. Come on!"

After putting her basket down on a nearby shelf, she started up the steps. I followed her, our shoes creaking on the wood as we went up to the second floor. There were more flowers here, in little pots resting on a few small end tables here and there. I took in their pleasant fragrance and allowed it to distract me from the pain for a while.

There was another set of stairs, shorter than the first, that led up to a door that led out onto the balcony. I thought I'd go up there later. But for now, I let Aerith guide me over to the bedrooms. There were three, side by side. The first one, the room nearest the steps, was hers. She let me peek inside for a moment. Floral wallpaper, a dresser with a mirror above it, and a bed with a pink and white comforter.

Then she led me to the next one. "Here's yours. It's the guest room, but you can use it while you're here."

It was a lot like Aerith's room. There was floral wallpaper here, too, but the design was different. The bed looked soft and very comfortable with its white blanket and sheets. It was a twin, smaller than what I was used to—I'd had a nice queen-sized one back home on the plate—but I didn't mind. I was so grateful to Aerith for all she'd done for me, all she was still doing. I looked at her.

"I like it, Aerith," I said, setting my backpack on the floor. "Thanks. I really appreciate, well… everything."

She clapped me on the shoulder. "No problem!"

I sat down on the bed. "So, what now?"

"Hmm…" Aerith joined me, sniffing as she did. "Mmm, smells like Mom's started cooking. So we'll go downstairs and eat in a bit. But you should know that even here in the slums, people have heard of you. I'm not the only one that goes plateside. Lots of people do."

"I'd better change myself up a bit then," I said, thinking aloud. "My hair's a little longer than it used to be. Might as well let it grow out. You know, I had it almost as long as yours once."

She giggled. "Really? It must've been pretty."

I nodded. "Yeah. Before I got back into acting. Had to cut it when I did that, though. So as you can see, I've done this kinda thing before. It isn't easy, but I know what I've gotta do."

"Right. But it'll still take a little while to grow, so why don't you use some hair extensions until it does? It's right at your shoulders now, but it might take a few months for it to get close to where I'm at. You might want to wash out that dye, too."

"Sounds good," I agreed. "If look just different enough from how I do on the LOVELESS posters, I should be able to get by without being recognized. It would take a bit of looking back and forth for anyone to know it's me if we do it right, and most people are too busy doing their own thing to pay attention to stuff like that."

Aerith grinned. "Right. This is gonna be fun! So, any idea how you want it? Styled, I mean. I can help with that if you want. Been braiding my own hair for years, after all."

I thought for a minute. "A ponytail, I think. My mom used to wear it like that sometimes. High up, you know. I always liked it, so I want to try it out myself. I can fake it with extensions until my hair grows long enough for me to have it for real."

"Sounds like a plan!" she agreed. "We'll head on into town early in the morning and hit the shops. Won't be a lot of people out yet, so you shouldn't have to worry about being spotted. Then, after you have what you need, we'll come back here and get you fixed up in your new style. It'll be a whole new you!"

I thought then about the day I'd gone to the Honeybee Lounge and gotten my makeover from Andrea. Once again, I was having to change who I was and become someone else. I wondered if I even knew who I really was anymore. The nerdy computer tech? The famous actress? Or the weapons specialist responsible for so much death? I had never once forgotten what had happened at Shinra, how my work had been abused and twisted to cause so much pain. And I wondered if there was a way I could somehow make up for it.

Maybe it was time I found another path.

* * *

I spent the next few days helping Aerith with the flowers. It wasn't really my best skill, but it was something to keep me busy for now, and it was the least I could do after all she and Elmyra had done for me. I'd washed the dye out of my hair that first night after I'd eaten, and Aerith had gone shopping with me the next morning just as we'd planned. We had found some extensions to match my natural auburn, and with her help, I had fitted them on.

Now I had myself a nice long ponytail. Well, sort of. I'd have to use the extensions for a few months until my own hair was long enough to do the real thing, but it would work well enough in the meantime. And I had also bought a few more outfits as well, clothes like the ones Reeve had given me. When I had gone to bed that first night at Aerith's place, I had decided to go through my backpack before going to sleep and do a little inventory of what I had in there.

When I did, I had found a small leather bag filled with coins. And I had known then before I'd even counted them how much there would be. When Reeve had first helped me get set up on my own after I'd left Shinra, he had asked me to set aside a certain amount of the money I'd been able to get out of my old bank account and let him put it away for safekeeping for me. I had done it, not knowing why at the time. Now I did, though. And I was so glad I had listened to him.

It wasn't a large amount, only eight hundred gil, but it was enough to help me get started. I'd still need to find some kind of work to bring in more money and sustain myself. Acting was out, and I hadn't seen a theater down here anyway. So that left my other skills, although I didn't know yet how I'd find a way to use them in the slums.

That changed today, however.

Aerith and I were delivering some flowers to the Leaf House when Tess, one of the teachers there, let out an exasperated sigh from behind the main desk. She was working on the old computer they had there, a Shinra ZX-41 by the look of it. A little beat up, but I'd seen already that most things down here were. I could tell she was having trouble with it, so after I had finished planting the flowers outside like Aerith had been teaching me, I went in to see what was the matter.

"Something wrong?" I asked.

Tess looked up at me. "Oh, it's just this old piece of junk. It's locked up again, the silly thing. We use it for our records, scheduling activities for the kids, that sort of thing. Goes down about once a week. It's a real pain, but it's all we've got."

I nodded. "Mind if I take a look? I'm pretty good at this stuff, and I might be able to fix it for you."

"Really?" she said. "Be my guest."

After she stood up, I sat down in her seat and got to work. It didn't take too long, just had to run a few diagnostics and dig into the system files to make some changes. Aerith came in while I was busy repairing Tess' computer, and after I'd finished my adjustments, I rebooted it and we all waited for it to come back up. When it finally did, it was running just as smooth as could be, not a glitch anywhere.

"You did it!" Tess exclaimed.

I shrugged. "It wasn't much. Just had to fix a few bugs in the OS. It shouldn't go down anymore now that I've patched it up. The ZX series was kinda infamous because of how unstable they could be. So don't go thinking it was anything you did. It wasn't."

Tess smiled. "Well, that's a relief. I don't know the first thing about computers and tech stuff. I just type things in and turn the machine on and off. Seems like you do, though."

"Yeah, I know a few things," I said, standing up. "Like I said before, it shouldn't wig out on you again. But if for some reason it does or you have any other problems, just let me know, okay?"

She sat back down and laughed. "Oh, I will! Thanks!"

After Aerith and I went outside again, she gave me a playful punch on the shoulder. "You never told me you were such a tech whiz, Jessie! Seems you're a girl of many talents."

"I guess so," I said. "I'm just glad I could help her."

"Felt good, didn't it?" she prodded gently.

It had, actually. "Yeah. Using what I know to do some good."

"Exactly!" Aerith agreed. "I think we just found you a new calling, Jessie. What do ya say?"

"About what?" I blinked.

She explained as we walked slowly along the streets of Sector 5. "A lot of folks around here could use someone like you. Someone who's an expert at technology and fixing things but who won't overcharge them, either. You could make some good money and build a solid reputation at the same time. Service with a smile!"

I found myself liking the idea. I liked it a lot. "Yeah, Aerith. I think you're right! But how do I get people to know about me? I'm still pretty new to this place, after all."

"Just leave it to me!" Aerith giggled. "I'll spread the word about the new Miss Fix-It in town. I'm sure Tess will, too. And once you've made yourself a few satisfied customers, they'll do the rest."

"Hmm… Rasberry Repair Services? How's that sound?"

She grinned. "Perfect!"

And that's how my tech service and repair business began. At first, it was slow since not very many people had heard of me yet. But Aerith was, as it turned out, right yet again. After a few weeks, word about me started to spread all around Sector 5. And before long, I had more than enough work to keep me busy.

I was fixing computers, cash registers, cameras, printers—anything electronic and broken, I patched it up and got it working again. And I'd found that people here had a surprising number of gadgets considering how much a lot of them were struggling. I even got the town's outdoor TV working again. I really enjoyed what I did and being able to use my skills to help people and make their lives a little easier. It made me feel a little better about myself and let me forget for a while about what had brought me to the slums in the first place.

Although I wasn't crying myself to sleep every night anymore—I'd stopped sometime during my second week down here—I still gazed up at the plate a lot, thinking of Kunsel. I missed him so much. Sometimes at night, I'd go out onto the upstairs balcony of Aerith's house and look at the steel sky, my engagement ring in my hands. She came out to join me one evening, standing next to me as she rested her hands lightly on the polished wooden railing.

"Thinking about Kunsel?" she asked softly.

I nodded. "Yeah. Do you think I'll ever see him again?"

Aerith sighed. "I don't know. But even if you do, it might not be the same. Time changes a lot of things."

"Have you… seen him? When you're selling your flowers."

"No," she said. "I don't think he goes to the theater anymore. Can't say as I blame him, though. It wouldn't be the same without you. I miss seeing you guys together up there myself."

I did, too. "It was fun. I always liked stopping by to chat."

"Yeah. Things change, though. Always do. It's not easy, but the best thing we can do is carry on and make the best of it. Not get twisted up inside pining over what's gone by."

"It's just hard to let him go," I blinked away sudden tears.

Aerith smiled and slid an arm around my shoulder. "I know, Jessie. Believe me. I still miss Zack, you know. Even wrote him a whole bunch of letters for a while. But he'd want me to be happy, and I know Kunsel would want the same for you."

He would, of course. "I know. I guess… it'll just take time."

"It will. But you'll be okay. Like I told you the night you came here, this is where you're meant to be. I don't know if it's Sector 5 specifically, but definitely the slums. Just a feeling I have."

"You know, I've heard lots of rumors and stories about the slums," I said. "Most of them bad. People on the plate don't seem to like to think about this part of the city much, if at all. But now that I'm here, I see it's not so bad. Just people trying to get by."

Aerith laughed softly. "For the most part. But there are some places in the slums where you'll definitely want to watch your step. And your back. It's not the safest neighborhood to live in."

Reeve had told me the same thing a long time ago. I hadn't left the town yet since I'd first come to Sector 5, but I didn't doubt what he and Aerith had said. They'd both grown up down here, after all. They knew all about the dangers of this place. And although I didn't know it yet, it wouldn't be long before I saw it for myself.

* * *

"Hi!" I held out my hand. "Name's Jessie. And yours?"

The girl shook it. "Lena. Good to meet you."

She was a couple years younger than me, probably seventeen or so, with hazel eyes and short brown hair that hung just under her ears. We were at the Leaf House, where several kids sat at a long wooden bench nearby doing activities in the front lawn while Lena and Tess watched. Aerith was at her church tending to her flowers.

"So how can I help, Lena?" I asked.

She folded her arms in front of her. "I hear you're the one to go to if you've got something that needs fixing."

I smiled. "That's me. What can I do for ya?"

Before she answered, Lena pulled me aside, leading me around the corner from the kids and the table. Then she took a small handgun out of her pocket and showed it to me, laying the barrel across her palm. A Shinra .45. Good condition, too.

"Know anything about weapons?" Lena said.

I looked away at first, the sight of the gun bringing back a bunch of bad memories from my time at Shinra. What was this girl planning on doing with it? And why have it around an orphanage full of kids? Lena hadn't struck me as a dangerous person, and I'd seen how attentive and caring she was with the boys and girls here, like a big sister. Maybe she had a good reason for having the gun.

"I might…" I finally admitted, looking back at her. "Why?"

She went on. "I bought this a little while back, and my big brother's been teaching me how to use it. Well, he was until he up and moved to Sector 7 a few months ago."

I was curious in spite of myself. "Why'd you want it?"

"To keep this place safe, Jessie. My brother, when he was still here, he'd been part of the watch. Sometimes he'd take me on his rounds with him. We'd do some target practice on hedgehog pies and wererats, that sort of thing. I've never gone out on my own, though."

"I think I understand. But aren't you a little young to be part of the neighborhood watch?"

Lena smirked. "Only by a year. I won't tell if you won't."

I raised an eyebrow. "What about your brother?"

"Biggs? He'd kill me if he knew, but he doesn't. He's quite a worrier, you know. Does it all the time."

"I take it something's wrong with the gun," I said.

She shook her head. "Not really. I was wondering if you knew how to enhance it, make it pack more of a punch. With all the monsters that roam around these parts, I figure the more firepower I've got on me to deal with them, the better."

I looked at Lena for a long moment. This wasn't Scarlet snarling at me to get to work on some new tool of destruction. I saw then in Lena a little of myself, once upon a time. The young girl whose dream was to create the biggest and best weapons she could to protect the people she cared about and keep them safe.

"I do," I said. "Just promise me you'll only use it for defense."

Lena nodded. "I will, Jessie. I promise."

I knew she would. "Alright, Lena. I'll see—"

"_Help!"_ A young boy's panicked voice suddenly cut through the air behind us. "Somebody, please!"

Lena and I whirled around and ran back to the orphanage at once. When we got back to the front yard with the bench, we saw a boy with sandy hair and brown eyes clutching his bleeding arm while the others gathered around him. While Tess tended to him, Lena rushed over, her eyes wide as she knelt in front of him.

"Oates!" she gasped. "What happened?"

"Maddy and I were in the outskirts doing a bit of exploring to find some new stuff for the hideout when something sprang out and nearly blew us to pieces! We tried to get away from it, but that thing's so fast. I saw Maddy running one way and I went another. I hoped she'd make it back to town, but I haven't seen her."

Lena and I shared a worried glance. "Where did this happen?"

"Over by the abandoned expressway," Oates said.

"Should've known," she sighed. "That place is full of strange things. What attacked you?"

He shuddered. "A house. Something that looked like one."

"What did you say?" I stared at him.

"It was a house. Or a big shed. That's why we were so surprised. We didn't see any monsters around, so we thought it was safe. I know how it sounds, but it's true!"

My blood turned to ice in my veins. I knew exactly what Oates was talking about. A hell house. Had to be. My creation. I remembered we'd had dozens of them built and deployed all throughout the slums when I'd still been at Shinra. And they'd all been redesigned into tools of pain and death without my knowledge.

Now I was seeing the results firsthand.

"I believe you," I said, gazing firmly at him, knowing what I had to do. There was no doubt, no hesitation. "Which way did Maddy go? Do you remember, Oates?"

"North, but I don't know if she made it very far."

That was all I needed to know. Leaving Lena and the others, I went down the street to the weapon shop as fast as I could. They didn't have much, but it would do for now. Grenades, a small handgun like Lena's, and some ammo. I hadn't fired a weapon since I'd left Shinra and their indoor targeting range behind, but fortunately the hell house made for a pretty easy target. I'd never had to take one down before, though, and I didn't know for sure how much firepower I'd need.

But one way or another, I was going to destroy that thing.


	20. NINETEEN

**NINETEEN**

My gun in both hands, I crept through the outskirts as quietly as I could, my eyes and ears alert. I'd seen a few hedgehog pies, but that was all so far. They were like big, bouncing red balls covered in spikes with little arms and legs and big mouths. I hadn't stopped to fight them, not wanting to waste any time, and instead had run onward toward the old highway. Aerith had told me a bit about the place.

I'd heard about the Sector 6 plate collapse, of course. Years ago, the section had completely fallen down to the slums during an accident. It had caused a lot of damage, but fortunately not many people had been living there at the time, so the casualties had been minimal. That story had always scared me, a potent reminder of how precarious life in this city could be. And after all I'd been through, I understood that truth all too well. It was a lesson I wouldn't forget.

"Maddy?" I called, hoping she could hear me.

I was getting closer to the highway and the scene of the attack. As I walked down the junk-lined trail, I called out for Maddy again. Still no answer. I hoped she was alright. There were several abandoned shacks out this way, perfect camouflage for the hell house. But not against me. I knew exactly what to look for. They all had a similar, squarish design, slanting roofs, and a foundation that wasn't fixed to the ground so that it could move in on its prey, even jump.

A few minutes later, I found it.

The house was sitting in a small clearing surrounded by hills made of discarded scrap metal and other debris. It was at the far end, and my eyes narrowed when I saw it. My blood boiled at the thought of what it had done, the pain my creation had caused. I wasn't gonna let it go on, though. I had made this thing, and so it was my responsibility to take it out. Both for those it had hurt and for myself.

A whimper off to the side caught my attention, and I glanced over to my right to see a little girl hiding amidst the junk piles. She was only eight or nine, with glasses and a short ponytail of black hair, and sat on the dirt under some overhanging sheets of rusted steel. The young girl clutched herself and shivered, sniffling in fear.

"Maddy?" I whispered.

She looked up. "W-Who's there?"

I knelt next to her. "It's okay. My name's Jessie, and I'm gonna help you get home, alright? Oates made it back and told us what happened, so I came out here to find you."

"But the h-house… it's alive…" Maddy whimpered.

"I know. And I'm gonna take care of that in a moment. I won't let it hurt you or anyone else, Maddy."

She looked up at me. "You promise?"

"Cross my heart," I said. "Now, can you get up?"

"Yeah, I think so," Maddy nodded.

I took her hand and gently helped her up, then motioned for her to wait behind me outside the clearing where it was safe. She did, her eyes on me as I moved in on the hell house, gun in both hands again, until I stood just outside its sensor range. Once I struck, it would activate, but I'd at least have the advantage of surprise.

Taking careful aim, I fired, the shots startlingly loud in the stillness as I poured bullets into the side of the hell house. It seemed to flinch at the impact, lurching heavily toward me as Maddy shrieked. I fired shot after shot, but as I'd expected, it wouldn't go down so easily. I'd created the thing to fight monsters, after all.

Reaching into my front pocket, I took out one of the grenades, my eyes still fixed on the hell house. When it got close enough, I pulled the pin, threw it, and dove to the side out of the freakish machine's path. It was barely a second later that the pineapple exploded, burning the hell house but not destroying it. The thing reacted faster than I'd expected, its arms and head popping out from behind its scorched walls before it jumped into the air toward me.

I rolled to the left just as the hell house smashed down on the spot where I'd been laying and just barely avoided getting crushed. But I still wasn't fast enough to escape completely unscathed as the mech's heavy fist caught me in the chest before I could get out of reach. I flew across the clearing and hit the ground hard, pain searing my ribs. I was pretty sure at least a few of them were bruised.

"Jessie!" Maddy cried.

Gritting my teeth against the pain, I shot at the hell house's head as I struggled to get up. My aim was good, the bullets ripping solidly into its round metal cranium. But the damn thing was tough. Of course, I'd designed it that way. I lobbed another grenade at it as I scrambled back to my feet as quickly as I could, and this the time the hell house slowed and shuddered under the impact of the blast.

I didn't have time to celebrate, though, because then I heard a loud sizzling sound coming from the damaged mech. I knew exactly what it was and dropped back to the ground just as huge tongues of fire surged out of the hell house from a pair of steel jets poking out of the wall just above the foundation. The heat washed over me, but the flames missed and died out a moment later.

Maddy came running in. "Are you okay!?"

"Get back!" I yelled.

There wasn't time, though. Part of the hell house's roof slid aside as a large, dark red missile shot out at us in a high, graceful arc. Grabbing Maddy, I pulled us both out of the way, flattening her beneath me as it struck the ground barely twenty feet away.

The explosion was small but very powerful, shaking the ground as the flames licked hungrily at my back and legs. It stung like a thousand bees, but I didn't dare move. I just held onto Maddy, shielding her from the blazing fire as it swept near us.

As the dust settled, I looked up to see the hell house charging at us again. It would be on us in seconds. No time for me to get away, but if I could just keep the mech distracted, it might be enough to give Maddy a chance to escape. I knew it wasn't much, but it was her only shot. She shivered within my arms as I held her.

I sat up and gave her a little push. "Run!"

"But—!" she protested.

"Just go, Maddy!" I ordered. "Don't worry about me!"

She sighed but did as I'd said, her little shoulders set as she sprinted away from the clearing. In the meantime, I pulled out another grenade just as the hell house caught up to me. I cried out in pain as a huge fist smashed down onto my left leg below the knee, and the sickening snap I heard told me it was broken. When the mech's head lunged at me and opened its maw, I pulled the pin.

"Suppertime, you ugly son of bitch!" I snarled.

With that, I stuffed the grenade into the hell house's gaping mouth, scraping my arm on its razor-sharp teeth as I did. I got it out before the thing chopped it off, fortunately, but with my leg hurt the way it was, I couldn't escape the blast. All I could do was roll onto my stomach, put my hands over my head, and hope for the best. But I didn't think I was gonna make it. I was just too close.

The explosion was like thunder in my ears, nearly deafening me as the blast tore the hell house's head apart along with its entire front half. I couldn't help screaming as I was suddenly showered with flames and debris. The force of it hurled me across the clearing as shrapnel cut me in half a dozen places, a shard of it slicing my temple. I landed hard on the ground with a pained groan and lay still. Pain was my whole world as I tried to keep my eyes open. But I couldn't.

* * *

I woke up in Aerith's house.

She was sitting by my bed, the worry on her face evaporating when she saw my eyes fluttering open. I tried to sit up, but sagged back onto the mattress with a groan as pain hit me in the face. It was everywhere, all over, and I could hardly move. Aerith got up, gently took me by the shoulders, and settled me back onto the pillow.

"Easy now," she said. "You got banged up pretty good out there. It's a wonder you're still in one piece."

"Am I?" I asked.

Aerith laughed. "More or less. It's good to see you awake."

I glanced at the daylight streaming through the window. "I thought I was gonna die out there…"

"Not on my watch," she promised.

"Thanks," I smiled, then I remembered. "Maddy?"

Aerith nodded. "She's fine. I found you guys out there and brought you back. You left just before I got back from the church, and Tess told me where you went and why. So I went after you."

I let out a sigh of relief. "I'm glad she's alright. I destroyed the thing that attacked her. Nearly took myself out with it."

"I saw that," she said. "But why did you go all by yourself?"

I sighed. "It's personal. Nothing I want to get into right now. Just… some old baggage I've been carrying around."

"Regrets?" Aerith noted softly.

"Some," I admitted.

Her green eyes were kind. "Thought so. If you ever need a friendly ear, mine's ready anytime."

"I appreciate it, Aerith," I said. "Maybe later."

"Fair enough," she agreed.

I was glad for the offer, but I didn't feel ready to talk about my days in Shinra just yet. The encounter with the hell house had brought back a lot of guilt and bad memories. But it had also given me the means to make up for what I'd done, at least a little. Still, it wasn't over. And then I knew without a doubt what I had to do.

But before I could, I had to recover from my injuries first. I'd been cleaned and bandaged, and my left leg was in a cast. No doubt it would be a while before I was back up to snuff. I hated it, but there wasn't any helping it. And as I lay in bed, I thought of something else and glanced at Aerith, a question on my mind.

"So, how long was I out?" I wondered.

She adjusted my blankets for me. "A few hours. I've been here with you the whole time. Mom helped some, too."

It was about what I'd figured. "Sorry for scaring ya."

"Oh, don't worry about it!" Aerith chuckled. "The important thing is that you're okay, Jessie."

"Yeah. I just had to take that thing out, even if…"

She grew serious again. "I know. But it didn't come to that."

I gazed intently at her. "The thing is, it wasn't the only one, Aerith. There's more of them out there. A lot more."

"Are you sure?" she stared.

"Positive. Don't ask me how I know. It's… complicated."

Aerith didn't press me for details. "Alright. I'll pass the word to the watch to keep an eye out for them."

"Good. And once I'm all healed up, I'm gonna head back out there and start hunting them down. It's something that I have to do, so don't try to stop me, alright?"

She frowned. "You almost got killed today!"

I knew that. I felt every painful bit of it. "I'm not gonna go the way I did before, don't worry. I've got some preparing to do first, things that I'll need to find and put together. Some protective gear to help keep me from getting roughed up like this again, to start with."

"That'll definitely help, but you're not going out there by yourself," Aerith insisted. "I'm going with you."

"I don't want you getting hurt," I protested.

She laughed. "Oh, don't worry about me. I'm tougher than I look. I grew up down here, you know."

I knew that, but I still didn't want to put her in danger. I was about to tell her that when the pain suddenly flared up, and I gasped, holding myself as gingerly as I could. I was hurting everywhere, so bad I could barely breathe. For the time being, at least, I wasn't going anywhere. As I laid there, bandaged and bruised and wincing in agony, Aerith bowed her head for a moment and clasped her hands.

What was she doing? Before I could even begin to wonder about it, I felt a soft, cool breeze sweep over me, a soothing whisper in my ears. Streamers of pink and white energy swirled around us, and when they did, the pain subsided. Not entirely, but enough that I could bear it. As I let out a long breath and relaxed, the wind and the energy faded away. Aerith opened her eyes, looked at me, and smiled.

"How's that?" she asked.

"Better, thanks," I said, staring at her in wonder. "But what was that you just did? I've never seen anything like it."

Aerith shrugged. "Just a little something I can do."

"You used it on me before?" I said.

"Yeah. When I found you by the house. It's not something I can do all the time, though. Takes a while to build up. So Mom and I did what we could, bound you up and gave you some potions, too. We'll keep at it, of course. You should be back on your feet in a few days, Jessie. Even your broken leg's already starting to mend."

It did feel a little better. "I suppose I have your wind and potions to thank for that. Otherwise I'd be laid up longer."

Aerith nodded. "Sure would. Anyway, you hungry?"

"Famished," I giggled.

"I'll go get you something, then," she said. "Be back soon!"

After Aerith had left, I let my eyes slide closed for a bit. I rested but didn't let myself sleep. Instead, I went over the fight ewith the hell house again in my mind. The grenades had damaged it, but it had taken three of them to finally bring it down. And a lot could happen in the middle of that, as I had so painfully found out today.

I'd need something stronger next time, and as I thought about that, I remembered the conversation I'd had with Lena. Maybe I could boost the grenades' power, make them hit harder with a wider blast radius. It was worth a shot, and if it worked, it would make it easier to take down those hell houses. I realized I was actually excited about it. For the first time in years, I could think about weapons and upgrades and such and not feel sick to my stomach when I did.

Maybe because now it was for the right thing.

My bedroom door swung open a little while later, and I opened my eyes to see Aerith walking in, a tray of food in her hands. After setting it on top of the dresser for a minute, she helped me sit up, which was a little easier now after she'd used that healing wind of hers on me. Then she brought the tray over, and I ate. It was good, and I reminded myself to thank Elmyra later. I was just finishing up when I heard footsteps on the wooden floor out in the hall.

Aerith looked over her shoulder and smiled. "Looks like you've got a visitor, Jessie. Two, actually."

It was Maddy and Oates. They stood in the doorway, looking good as new after their encounter with the hell house. Aerith must've tended to them as well after getting me settled. Then I realized they were each carrying something. Oates had a card, and Maddy held a pot of flowers in her hands, fresh from Aerith's garden.

"Jessie!" Maddy squealed. "You're okay! Can we come in?"

"Of course," I laughed.

They did, and Aerith moved aside so they could approach the bed. Oates handed me the card, and when I opened it, my eyes widened and I let out a little gasp. It had a nice handwritten message inside thanking me and urging me to get well, and it was filled with signatures. Not just those of Maddy and Oates, either. All the kids had written their names in it, and so had the staff. Everyone at the Leaf House.

I smiled. "Wow… thanks, you guys."

"You're welcome, Jessie," Oates grinned. "When you're all fixed up, you should totally come to our hideout! We hang out there all the time. I bet you'd be awesome at Whack-A-Box!"

It sounded like fun. "I'll have to give it a try, then!"

Maddy showed me the flowers. "We all picked these for you a little while ago. It was Aerith's idea."

"Thought so," I chuckled. "They're beautiful, Maddy."

"And I think they'll look great right over here," Aerith said, patting the top of the dresser.

Maddy put them up where she'd shown her, and they did look nice up there. Then I handed the card back to Oates, who stood it up by the flowers for me. When that was done, I let him and Maddy each hug me for a moment. Gently, of course, because of how hurt I was. Still, it was really good to see them again.

"Thanks for coming over, you two," I said.

"Sure!" Maddy giggled, adjusting her glasses. "I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you, Jessie. I was really worried about you, but Aerith said you'd be alright. Thank you for saving me."

I smiled. "Anytime. It's what friends do for each other. Just promise me that you guys won't go wandering around out there again. Stay here in town where it's safe, alright?"

"We will," Oates promised. "I'll tell the others, too."

I nodded. "Good! Glad to hear it."

"Well, now that that's all settled," Aerith said, turning to the kids. "I think it's time we let Jessie get some rest."

I did feel a little tired, now that I thought about it, and there wasn't much else I could do. After the kids and I had waved and said goodbye, they left, chatting with each other as they went down the stairs. Aerith lingered for just a moment to check on me again. When she was done, she smiled at me and started to leave, her dress swishing lightly around her as she moved gracefully toward the door.

I called after her. "Aerith?"

She looked back at me. "What?"

"Thanks," I told her.

She beamed. "My pleasure, Jessie. Sweet dreams."

* * *

About a week later, I was more or less whole again, on my feet and feeling a lot better. I was limping a little when I walked, but Aerith had promised it was only temporary and would be gone in just a few more days. Lena and the kids had come to visit me now and then during my recovery, and I had promised I'd make a nice pizza dinner for everyone once I was all healed up. They'd been so good to me, and so I'd thought it was only fair I do something nice in return.

They'd all loved my Midgar Special, especially the kids. We had all sat together at the long tables outside the orphanage, eating and talking and having a good time. It had taken me all afternoon to make enough for everyone, but I didn't mind, and the kids were eager to help. Aerith had pitched in as well. There'd been over twenty of us altogether. Quite a big order, but it was a lot of fun.

Now I was in Sector 5's market district, browsing the shops. I knew I wouldn't find everything here—I'd definitely have to make some parts of my new outfit myself—but I hoped I could find the rest somewhere in the all the stores and stalls lining the area. I wasn't sure exactly what I was looking for, but I was confident I'd know it when I saw it. And as it turned out, my instincts were right.

The first piece was a tight-fitting, dark blue leotard. It was different from most in that it actually had sleeves. Short ones, barely longer than my shoulders. It went all the way up my neck, too, and fastened with a zipper on the left side. I supposed it was more of a bodysuit, but it only went down to my hips like a leotard would.

I found a pair of black lycra leggings to go with it. They went down to just past my knees and felt really comfortable. I tried them on along with the bodysuit, and it felt as if I was wearing a second skin. I liked it, and together they'd make a good foundation for the heavier stuff I was planning to wear over them. It was kinda sexy, too. Not that I was at all ready for that sort of thing yet, though.

My heart still ached for Kunsel, and I looked up at the underside of the plate a lot, thinking of him. I knew I had to let go, I just couldn't do it yet. It was too hard. Memories of our wonderful year together would often flit through my mind, but I'd mask the pain with a cheerful smile. It wasn't that hard—I'd been an actress, after all. It never seemed to fool Aerith, though. She knew me too well.

Anyway, it took a few days to find the rest of what I needed for my new outfit. A pair of sturdy, olive green cargo pants that went down to my knees and had nice, big pockets. I also found a thick, brown leather belt to hold them up. But even better was the matching pouch I picked up to go along with it. It was big, square, and had a flap top that I could flick open at a moment's notice. Perfect for holding my tools, grenades, and whatever else I might need.

For my hands, I found some soft brown gloves. They were made of leather, like my belt, but were fingerless. A bit plain, but I could spruce them up a bit later and add a few things to them. I also bought a pair of tough brown work boots for my feet, but like the gloves, I wasn't going to leave them the way they were.

They went over halfway up my calves, but if my fight with the hell house had taught me anything, it was that I'd need better protection to keep from being hurt like that again. I'd have to make some alterations to my boots as well, toughen them up a bit. And I knew exactly how to do it and what I'd need to pull it off. That and putting together the rest of my new outfit. Getting supplies was next on my list.

I found a good measuring tape and some sheets of leather fabric at a nearby tailor's shop, and inside the local hardware store, I discovered a miniature blowtorch. It was old, but it still worked, and it was perfect for what I had in mind. I also figured it might come in handy now and then in the future as well. So I bought it along with a hammer, tongs, a small vat, and a few other tools for metalwork.

Now all I needed was the metal itself. I had to do some scavenging for that, searching through the junk piles all around town. There was a lot of scrap, but not all of it was useful. Still, by the end of that week, I'd gathered enough for my needs. I brought it all to a little open area that I'd found near the edge of the settlement, a nice, quiet spot enclosed by nearby walls and an old iron fence. You could only get in there through a narrow alley in the back.

Once I had everything there and my limp was gone, I got to work. First, I took the tape and got my measurements, adding a little more to give myself some room to breathe. What I had in mind was going to be a close fit and pretty strong, but I also wanted it to have some style, too. Function _and_ beauty. I'd learned that from Andrea.

I forged the chestplate first, sculpting the steel to fit the contours of my body. News about how I'd saved Maddy had spread throughout the town while I'd been recuperating, and so when I had asked the weapon shop's owner if I could borrow his furnace, he'd been happy to let me. It took me the better part of a day sweating behind the shop, but I got my armor crafted and polished, both the chestplate and the two pauldrons, one for each shoulder. But I wasn't finished yet.

The next day, I went back to the shop and did the shin guards and toe covers for my boots as well as metal backs for my gloves. After that, I forged a short-sleeved shirt of chain links, lightweight but durable, to go under the breastplate and help cushion me against incoming blows. I painted it black to match my leggings and set it apart from the armor that I'd be wearing on top of it.

The shin guards were, like the rest of the armor, made of steel, and they completely covered my boots from shin to ankle, leaving only the foot portion open. When I had all my metal gear finished, I went back to my little work area and started in on the leather. I made bracers with elbow guards to keep my forearms safe.

After that, I crafted shoulder pads and straps for the pauldrons and chestplate to hold them together. I'd forged the armor in pieces so that it would be easier for me to take it on and off. I'd bought some buckles and small rivets as well, and with my little blowtorch, I fixed them onto the breastplate and its metal straps. The leather ones I'd made were for the pauldrons, to hold them on. I also crafted two smaller red straps to go around the wrists of my gloves.

When everything was finished, I took a deep breath, made sure no one could see me, then stripped down to my support and underwear. I put on the bodysuit and leggings after that, followed by the chain shirt. Then I buckled the chestplate into place over it. The fit was snug since I'd molded it to fit my curves and give them a little emphasis while still acting as solid protection for my chest, though it didn't go down all the way to my abdomen. So I'd have to be careful.

Lastly, I put on my belt, boots, bracers, and gloves. I had found and set up an old mirror on one side of my work area, and once I was fully dressed, I took a good long look at myself. I felt good, better than I had in a long time. My new outfit was me, in many ways. It had the beauty of my acting days in how it hugged me and showed off my figure, but it was also a callback to that other part of me, the tomboy computer geek and weapons specialist I thought I'd lost forever.

The belt pouch for holding tools and small bombs, the work pants, armored boots and gloves, all of it brought back to me a part of myself I'd never expected to find again. I hadn't been sure I wanted to. But as I stood there and looked at myself in the mirror, I realized I had missed the screens and the gadgets, the nerdier side of myself that could debug a faulty program with my eyes closed or do a complex systems analysis without even breaking a sweat.

My hair was growing longer, and in another month or so, I thought I could take out the extensions and do my ponytail for real. It was silly, I suppose, but I was really looking forward to it. Still, it almost felt like there was something missing. I ran my hand across my forehead, but I didn't know what else I might need. Maybe it would come to me later. I could wait. I had my new outfit, at least.

And I was gonna put it to the test soon enough.


	21. TWENTY

**TWENTY**

The hell house crumpled as we pressed the attack, and between my bullets and Aerith's magic, we forced it back. I hadn't known she could cast spells, but after seeing her use her abilities to help heal my injuries almost two weeks ago, nothing about her really surprised me anymore. A blast of fire seared the mech as she unloaded with her materia again. And while Aerith did that, the green orb shining brightly on her staff, I took out one of my special new grenades.

After buying another batch of regular pineapples from the weapon store the day after I'd finished creating my new outfit, I had taken them to my little work area near the edge of town and had spent a few hours tweaking them. I'd taken them apart and rewired them, adjusting their components and increasing their explosive yield by about four times. It had been slow and delicate work, but I'd been determined to do it. And I did. It was my first new weapon design in years.

On a whim, I'd also gone and bought some paint, red and purple. It hadn't been necessary, but I had decided to give my newest creations a more personal touch. So I had colored the grenades purple, aside from the handles, which I'd made red. And as I had done that, I'd decided to give them their own special name—the raspberry. After me, of course. That's also what they looked like. Purple raspberries.

I took one out. "Aerith, back up!"

She nodded and fell back. "You got this, Jessie!"

My eyes fixed on the damaged hell house, I pulled out the pin and hurled the raspberry at it, then dove for cover. The explosion was huge, tearing the mech apart and filling the abandoned junkyard with a blast of thunder. Aerith and I lay sprawled flat upon the ground as shrapnel and debris flew in all directions. When the dust settled a few moments later, we slowly stood up again.

"Nailed it!" Aerith cheered.

"Yeah," I smiled grimly. "We sure did."

Walking back over to me, she lifted her hand above her head, palm outward, and grinned. "Jessie! Up top!"

I gave her a high five. "How many is that now?"

"Let's see…" Aerith thought for a moment. "Nine, not counting the first one you took out."

That sounded about right. "So, ten altogether."

She brushed off her dress. "Yep. Not bad for only a few days' work! I bet we've lost a little weight, too!"

"Probably," I chuckled.

"Ready to head back?" Aerith asked.

I tugged at my gloves. "Sure. It'll be dark soon anyway."

"Then let's get going. We'll head home and grab a bite to eat. Then I'll go on up to the plate. Business has been a little slow with the theater closed, but I should still make a few sales."

"It'll pick up once the show's back on," I sighed.

I'd heard about LOVELESS Theater closing down after I'd escaped to the slums. My unexpected disappearance must've caught everybody off guard up there. I missed my friends, I missed being on stage under the lights, performing in front of the audience. But there was no going back. I couldn't. Not for a long time, at least.

Aerith gently took my shoulder. "Maybe, but whoever gets the role won't be half as good as you."

"Thanks," I said. "You sure about that?"

"Absolutely! They still talk about you up there, you know. People in Sector 8. All over Midgar, in fact. They loved seeing you bring that old story to life. And they hope you'll come back someday."

I wiped a tear from my eye. "Really?"

"They won't forget you, Jessie," Aerith promised.

"I hope you're right," I said.

She slid her arm around me as we walked down the dirt rail. "I am. And you'll get back there someday. To the stage. Might be a while, but I know you'll make it."

I laughed. "Another hunch?"

"You could say that," Aerith chuckled.

Although I'd only been gone for about a month so far, I knew how show business worked and how fickle fame could be. People tended to move on to the next new thing. It made me happy, though, to know I'd made an impression during my short run in the play, that I wouldn't be forgotten. And I hoped Aerith was right, that somehow I'd find my way back there one day. I knew it wouldn't be anytime soon, but… it was at least something to wish for and work toward.

"Well, if I do, I expect to see you there," I told her.

She nodded and winked. "Of course! One way or another, I will be, Jessie. That's a promise."

We made it back to town without any trouble and were just passing the Leaf House when Lena came up to us, a worried look on her face as she hurried across the yard. Sometimes she was the one who went with me to hunt down hell houses if Aerith was busy elsewhere or up on the plate selling flowers. I'd done some work on Lena's gun, making it more powerful like she'd wanted, and she was a pretty good shot. The mechs usually didn't last long between us.

"There you are!" she breathed, catching her breath.

I frowned. "What's wrong, Lena?"

"Are the kids alright?" Aerith asked. "Nobody's hurt, are they?"

Lena shook her head. "No, everybody's fine. It's just that somebody came here looking for you earlier. He was asking about the flower girl. That'd be you. Might still be in the area, so be careful."

Her eyes narrowed. "What did he look like?"

"Tall, with long black hair and brown eyes," Lena answered. "Wore a dark blue suit, white shirt, black tie. Oh, and he had some kind of dot on his forehead. Really weird."

I shivered. "Tseng…"

She blinked. "Who's that?"

"Nobody," Aerith insisted. "Was he alone?"

"Yeah. It was just him. He left when Tess told him you weren't here. I don't know where he went, though."

I stared at Lena. "Did she say anything about me?"

"No, not a word. Why?"

"It's nothing you need to worry about," Aerith told her.

I sighed in relief. Tseng didn't know I was here. Although he didn't seem to have been looking for me, I knew I couldn't let him see me. He still had orders from my father to kill me, no doubt. But I found myself wondering why he was in the slums. What could he possibly want with Aerith? Why was he searching for her?

I glanced at her. "We'd better get back home."

"No," Aerith ordered, pulling me aside and away from Lena so that we could talk privately. "You stay here, Jessie."

"What's going on? Why's Tseng looking for you?"

She sighed. "He's probably at the house by now. I've known him for a long time. Ever since I was little. He visits once in a while. Not often, though. The last time was years ago."

I stared at her. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm sorry. I should've. I'd just thought, because it had been so long since Tseng's last visit, that it would be safe for you to stay with us for a little while. Just keep out of sight until I come back."

"What about your mom?" I asked.

Aerith gave me a reassuring smile. "She won't say anything. I asked her not to, the night I brought you home."

"Thanks," I breathed.

"We won't let him find you," she promised. "Understand?"

Now I was the one smiling. "Yeah. I'll go spend some time with the kids while you check things out at home."

"That's a plan!" Aerith agreed.

I watched as she headed down the narrow trail leading out of town toward her house, and when she stopped for a minute to wave at me, I waved back. Once Aerith had disappeared around the corner, I went to see Lena, who'd been waiting where we'd left her. She and I talked for a bit as we walked into the orphanage to see everyone.

It was a good visit, and I had a lot of fun, but the thought of Tseng being nearby was always in the back of my mind. I didn't let anyone see my worry, though. I put on a cheerful smile like the comfortable mask it often was. Aerith showed up about twenty minutes later, all smiles as she greeted everyone. But when she and I left not long afterward to go home, she grew serious as soon as we were alone.

"What's wrong?" I wondered.

Aerith's voice was quiet when she answered. "Like I thought, it was one of his little visits. He keeps asking me to come back to Shinra with him. Of course, I said no."

I didn't blame her. "If they want you so bad, why don't they just use their troops to bring you in?"

"What they want me for, they believe I have to go to them willingly or it won't work. And they won't hurt me because they need me. So I've been left alone, for the most part."

I remembered then how Tseng hadn't allowed the soldiers to attack her the night I'd left the plate when she had shielded Kunsel and I after we had been surrounded. She must've been counting on it, knowing all along that he wouldn't let them hurt her, and had used that fact to help us escape the trap he'd set for us.

I looked at her as we walked. "Why do they want you?"

"Long story," she answered. "But let's just say I'm one of a kind and leave it at that. Better you don't know too much. I lost a friend because she couldn't handle it."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Aerith went on. "Kyrie figured out what I am, and it scared her. So she left, years ago. I don't want to lose you, too."

I took her shoulder. "You won't, Aerith. You've done way too much for me to even think of ending our friendship. And no matter what you are or why Shinra wants you, that's not gonna change."

"Thanks, Jessie. You're the best, you know that?" she grinned.

"Right back at ya!" I laughed.

As we got close to her house, Aerith's mood sobered again. "Tseng told us, before he left tonight, that he'd be back. I don't know when, but I don't think it'll be too long."

"Then I'd better be moving on," I decided.

She didn't seem surprised. "Are you sure? We can figure something out so you don't have to leave."

My mind was made up. "Positive. I can't let him find me."

"I understand," Aerith said. "You'll be okay?"

"I will, yeah. I've been expecting something like this, actually. Been preparing for it. You know that backpack of mine? I've turned it into a little emergency kit of sorts. Set a few things aside in case I ever had to leave in a hurry again like last time."

She chuckled. "Always prepared, eh?"

"Yeah," I agreed. "I kinda have to be, now."

"I can imagine. So anyway, where do you think you'll go?"

I thought for a minute. "I'm not sure. Lena mentioned a brother in Sector 7. Might be worth a look."

"And your work?" Aerith wondered.

"I'll swing back this way for that whenever I can," I explained. "I'm not gonna leave my customers hanging. But I won't stay long, just to be safe. I'll get my work done and head out."

Aerith nodded. "Makes sense. Just be to sure to visit me!"

I winked. "Of course!"

"So… when are you gonna leave?" she asked.

"In a few days," I decided. "I need time to finish up all the jobs I've got first and pick up a few supplies. Then I'll go."

When we got to the front door, we both paused for a minute before going inside. Although I had known ever since Aerith had first brought me here that I'd have to leave someday, it was still hard. I'd hoped that I would've been able to stay in Sector 5 when that happened, but I'd also known that it might not have been possible. And with Tseng coming to visit Aerith unannounced, I couldn't take the chance of being spotted if and when he came back again.

She gazed at me. "Kinda got used to having you around, Jessie. Felt like you were part of the family."

"I felt that way, too," I smiled. "And I appreciate it."

"Just the truth. I guess we'd better go on inside and break the news to Mom, though. Then we'll have some dinner and figure out a plan to help you move to Sector 7. Sound good?"

It did. "Yeah. Have you ever been there before?"

"No, but I've heard a little about it," Aerith answered. "And I know how to get there. It's a nice place, actually. About as nice as you can get down here in the slums, anyway. You'll do fine."

I hoped she was right. But by now, I'd gotten used to going off into the unknown. It was practically second nature. And at least this time, I could leave on my own terms. I wouldn't be cut off, either. As long as I was careful, I could still stop by and visit for a little while from time to time. And I was really glad for that.

* * *

Three days later, Aerith and I stood near the edge of town, looking out to the west, toward the outskirts leading to Sector 6. I had my gray backpack on my shoulders, tools and raspberries in my belt pouch, and my gun on my hip. I was about as ready to go as I could be. All I had to do now was say goodbye. I'd already said my farewells to the kids at the Leaf House earlier as well as my other friends there. I hadn't seen Lena, though. But I wished I could have.

"Well, I guess this is it…" I sighed.

Aerith nodded. "Yeah. There's an old abandoned playground at the end of the collapsed expressway. Evergreen Park. Sold my flowers there once, a long time ago. The gate to Sector 7's on the other side. You can't miss it. But it's usually closed."

"So how do I get in?" I wondered.

"There's a road leading away from the park," she explained. "It goes to Wall Market. It can be a rough place, especially for women. But you shouldn't need to actually go inside. I've heard there's a delivery service that takes people places for a price. Chocobo rides! But at least for now, it only goes between Sectors 6 and 7."

That sounded fun. "There's a stop near Wall Market?"

"The main stable, I think. It's right outside the town's entrance. You should be able to hitch a ride into Sector 7 from there. The drivers can open the gate and take you right in."

"Guess I'll make my entrance in style, then," I laughed.

Aerith giggled. "Yep! Or, if you want to be a bit more adventurous, there's supposedly a secret underground passage leading from the park to Sector 7. I'd have to go there myself to find it since I don't remember exactly where it is, though."

"I think I'll just stick with the chocobos," I decided. "They're cuter, and getting a ride sounds easy enough."

She smiled. "Better get going, then. Take care, okay?"

I hugged her. "I will, Aerith. And thank you. For everything."

"Don't mention it," she hugged me back.

Although this was another hard goodbye, it didn't feel permanent, like the others I'd gone through. I'd see her again someday. Like I'd told her, I'd visit whenever my work took me over here. Although if I could get my business going in Sector 7 as well, I'd be pretty busy. So my time would be limited. But I'd take what I could get.

Eventually, we let go of each other. It was time. Assuming my little trip went well, it would take me almost an hour to cross the expressway and get to the park. And another twenty minutes or so on top of that to reach the chocobo stable outside Wall Market.

I'd spent time over the last few days studying maps of the area, so I had a fairly good idea of how to get to where I was going. With luck, I'd reach Sector 7 before dark. Then I'd get a room at the inn for the night and figure out my next move from there. Taking a deep breath, I gazed out at the long, empty road ahead of me, adjusted my backpack on my shoulders, and started walking.

After taking a few steps, I waved at her. "Goodbye, Aerith."

"Bye, Jessie!" she waved back. "Good luck!"

Giving her a smile, I turned and headed on down the trail, putting Sector 5 behind me. It was almost fun in a way, this journey of mine. I didn't know what I'd find in Sector 7, but I felt good about it and more hopeful than I'd been in a while. Although I wouldn't forget the friends I'd made here, I looked forward to making some new ones in the home that I was going to. I was actually excited as I made my way slowly but steadily down the junk-lined road.

About fifteen minutes later, I reached the entrance to the collapsed expressway. It was quiet, and I hadn't seen anything so far aside from a few hedgehog pies. I'd snuck past them easily enough, and they'd never even known I was there. I couldn't help feeling as if there were eyes on me, though. Didn't know why, but it had been nagging at me more and more over the past few minutes.

I took a last look around, then went inside. The road was concrete, a broken mess, with entire sections sunk deep into the ground. It was a long trip with lots of climbing, and I was sweating from exertion after a good half hour of traveling. Large mechanical hands sat silently by the walls here and there, giant pieces of construction equipment. They still worked but had been abandoned by Shinra years ago after they'd given up on rebuilding Sector 6.

I found the campfire in one of the ravines.

It was still burning, and I immediately scanned the area, looking to see who it belonged to. I found out a minute later when three shadowy figures leaped down from another elevated section of the expressway at the far end of the ravine. Two were bald while the third had a mohawk tied back in a dirty yellow tail.

They all wore pointed dark gray masks that went down below their chins. I'd heard that there were a few gangs prowling around the sector, but this was the first time I'd ever run them myself. All three men wore faded blue jeans. A wiry guy to the left had a light gray half-shirt while the one sporting the mohawk was heavyset and hunched over, a leather harness over his bare chest. The third had a sleeveless red tank top and was the tallest of them. And probably the leader.

"Well, hello, missy!" he sneered. "What have we got here?"

The thug with the mohawk scampered over. "She's real cute, Beck! Can we have her? Can we?"

Beck glanced at him. "All in good time, Butch."

"Don't bother," I growled.

"Got some spunk in ya," he laughed. "I like that! But you still don't got a clue who you're dealin' with."

I narrowed my eyes. "Then tell me."

He spread his arms out wide. "Beck. Leader of Beck's Badasses, the meanest and toughest gang in the slums!"

"Uh, Beck?" Butch asked. "Thought that was Vice."

"Shut up! Vice ain't got nothin' on us! Friggin' amateurs!"

I moved my hand slowly toward my gun. "Guess you don't like the competition, do you?"

"Ain't no contest, girlie!" Beck said. "We'll show ya!"

"That so?" I said.

He snickered. "Better believe it, bitch! Give us all you got on ya and maybe we'll let you walk outta here alive. If you don't, we'll still take all you've got. Only you'll be keepin' us company tonight, too. So what's it gonna be? Choice is yours, babe."

"How about neither?" a voice called.

A slender figure suddenly jumped into the ravine, gun drawn, and landed on her feet next to me as I whipped out my own and fixed it on Beck before he even knew what was happening. Butch staggered back a step while the third goon glanced anxiously at us.

"Lena!" I exclaimed. "What are you doing out here?"

"Backing you up, of course!" she said.

Beck drew a pair of sharp knives. "Two for one! I like that deal. We ain't scared, are we, boys?"

The third bandit shook his head. "Nope!"

"Let's get 'em, Burke!" Butch agreed, clenching his fists.

The three thugs fanned out around us in a circle, then closed in on us. Butch charged at Lena, but she sidestepped easily and smacked him across the face with the side of her gun barrel while Beck moved in fast against me with his knives before I could get a shot off. I ducked low as he swept them at me one after the other then quickly rolled aside when Burke tried to grab me from behind.

When Butch rushed at Lena again, she holstered her gun, took him by the shoulder, and used his own momentum to throw him hard onto the ground. He groaned and staggered back to his feet. Beck kept going after me, slicing again and again, but I was too fast and drove him back with a few shots at the ground in front of his feet.

I heard Burke sneaking up on me again, but I drove my elbow into his gut before he could touch me. As he fell back, I spun to the left, hit Beck with a backhand punch, and drove my gun barrel into his crotch. He froze instantly, his eyes locked on mine as I quickly grabbed him by the shoulder and stared him down.

"Get lost, asshole," I told him. "Or I'll do my very best to give you a sex change operation!"

Butch laughed. "Beck! Beck! I got her! Look!"

He and I both turned to see Butch and Burke holding Lena, an arm in each of their hands. Burke must've caught her from behind like he'd tried to do to me. While Butch let go of her and pranced around, Burke wrapped his other arm around her so he was gripping her firmly from behind, pinning her arms to her sides.

Beck shoved me away. "My, how the tables have turned…"

"And they're not done yet," I said.

"Huh?" he blinked. "We've got your friend, missy. Make one wrong move and she's dog bait!"

I pretended to give in. "Alright…"

He and his thugs were dangerous, but not very smart. I'd picked up on that right away. And I knew I could use that to save Lena. I dropped my gun on the ground, and while Beck, Butch, and Burke cackled and watched it fall, I reached into my belt pouch and took out a raspberry. By the time they'd brought their attention back to me, I'd held it up and settled my other hand firmly on the pin.

"Psych!" I smirked.

"Shit!" Burke swore. "Girl's got a bomb!"

Butch shook his head. "She ain't gonna do it! She'd be killin' herself and her friend! No way!"

"Better than letting you bastards have us," I countered.

Beck sneered. "You ain't got the guts, girl."

I pulled out the pin. "You sure about that, Beck? Show me how fast you can run. _After_ you let my friend go."

Burke dropped Lena at once. "I'm outta here!"

"Wait, Burke! Wait for me!" Butch sprinted right after him.

"Idiots!" Beck snarled. Then he ran off, too.

I didn't relax until they were long gone. As they scampered hastily up the side of the embankment the way I'd come and disappeared, I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. Then I went to Lena, but before I could say anything, she pointed to my hand.

"The grenade!" she said. "It's gonna blow!"

I grinned and showed it to her. "Nope! It won't. No need to worry, Lena. Everything's fine."

Slowly, I moved my fingers so she could see the top of the grenade, and when she finally did, she started laughing. The pin was still firmly in place. I had only pretended to pull it, though I'd have done it for real if I'd had to. But Beck and his goons had fallen for my little trick, just as I'd known they would. It had been a bluff, to be sure, but a safe enough one. And it had paid off just as I'd hoped.

"You really fooled 'em!" Lena chuckled. "And me, too!"

I hugged her. "You okay?"

She let go after a moment and brushed herself off. "Yeah, thanks. I hope you don't mind me dropping in on ya."

"Not at all! Were you following me back there?"

"Yeah," Lena said. "I'd heard you were leaving, but I didn't believe it at first. When I saw you were serious, though, I decided that the least I could do was make sure you got to Sector 7 safely. Looks like I was the one that needed your help, though."

I took her shoulder. "I'm still glad you came, Lena."

"Thanks! I'll see you as far as the gate, if that's okay. Then I'll head back home once we get there."

"That's fine," I agreed. "But don't you want to see your brother? I'm sure he'd enjoy a visit, and we're already going there anyway. Why don't you come along and see him?"

Lena smiled. "I can always pop in on him another time. Something tells me you should meet him on your own. And besides… I try not to stay out here too long if I can help it."

"Why not?" I wondered.

"Nothing serious. I just don't do well in these parts."

I wasn't sure what she meant by that, but I wasn't going to force the issue, either. It would be nice to have some company, at least for a little while. We chatted as we retrieved our weapons and got underway, and we made good time as we headed further down the old expressway. By the time we finally reached the other end, it was already late afternoon. Night would be here before long.

Lena and I were walking down the path leading to the playground Aerith had told me about when the mako smell hit us. I'd started to get used to it a little during my time in Sector 5, but it still curled my nose. I was shocked by Lena's reaction, though.

Her hands flew straight to her mouth, and she started coughing so hard and so much that she doubled over. It took a few moments for her to get it all out as I put an arm around her. Lena clung to me, dizzy as I led her to a small scrap pile where we could sit down for a moment. As we got close, though, she suddenly let go of me, lurched a few steps off to the side of the road, and threw up.

"What's wrong?" I asked when she came back.

Lena let me help her sit down next to me as she answered. "It's the mako fumes, Jessie. For most people, they just smell bad. But for a few like me, it's a lot worse. My head's killing me, and my stomach still feels like the inside of an early morning hangover."

I stared at her. "Does your brother know about this?"

"Of course he does. He's always known. If I'm around the fumes for too long, I'll be in bed for days. I can already tell I'm gonna have to call it an early night when I get back home. Our mom was the same way. It took her away from us back when we were kids. That's how we wound up at the Leaf House. We grew up there."

"I'm sorry," I held her. "About your mom. I lost mine, too."

Lena hugged me back. "Guess we have that in common, Jessie. You must miss her a lot."

I did. "Yeah. I do, Lena. Same as you."

"Bummer, ain't it?" she said.

"Yeah, totally. But at least we're not alone," I reminded her. "We can help each other out. And speaking of which, are you sure you'll be able to get home alright? I'm worried about you."

Lena laughed. "I'll be fine. Just need to rest a moment, that's all. As long as I go slowly and don't push myself too hard, I can make it. Done it before, lots of times. I can do it again."

I nodded. "Okay. Just be sure to watch out for Beck and his thugs. I don't want them to get you."

"I can be quiet as a mouse when I want to be," she winked.

"Good enough, then," I said. "Message me after you get back home, okay? I'll give you my number."

Lena smirked. "You're almost as bad a worrier as Biggs!"

"Guess I'm in good company, then," I teased. "Ready to move on? I can wait a little longer if you need more time."

"I'll be fine," she said, letting me guide her to her feet.

I hoped so. "Then let's go. We're almost to the gate. It's just past the park. Not too far from here."

Once Lena had steadied herself, we walked down the path. I could hear her still coughing a little here and there, and her steps were a little uncertain, but she pressed on, so I didn't say anything else about it. Her short brown hair hung in damp strands under her ears, but she wore a cheerful smile, refusing to let her condition stop her.

Evergreen Park was a nice little place, with swings and a cute slide in the shape of a goofy, dome-shaped character. It had to be at least ten feet tall, and the kids must've loved it back when they had still come to play here. It had been long abandoned, though. Another, smaller dome sat off to one side, with a small tunnel in it for kids to crawl through. It looked like fun, though the emptiness of the place was a little sad. And at the far end of the park stood the gate.

It was huge, a pair of thick metal doors set into the wall separating Sectors 6 and 7. Past them was my destination, and off the right, a road ran further on, no doubt leading to Wall Market. My next stop, to get a ride through the gate. My little journey was almost over. As Lena and I walked through the park to stand in front of the gate, I looked at her. It was time for her to go home.

"Thanks for coming with me," I said.

She grinned. "You're welcome, Jessie. It was fun! And don't worry, you'll do fine in Sector 7."

I thought I would, actually. "Yeah. I think you're right, Lena. I have a good feeling about this place. You take care of yourself and be careful on your way home, okay?"

"I will. And I'll let you know when I get back."

After giving her my number, I hugged her again, then waved as she walked away back toward the old highway. Lena waved back. I thought she still looked somewhat green, but then I reminded myself that she'd be alright. She'd surely had to deal with her mako sensitivity all her life and knew how to handle it. Once she had moved on and I couldn't see her anymore, I headed down the dirt road toward Wall Market and the chocobo stables to find a way into Sector 7.


	22. TWENTY-ONE

**TWENTY-ONE**

As I walked up the dirt road toward Wall Market, I heard voices up ahead. My natural curiosity getting the better of me again, I slowed as I came to a bend in the trail and scooted up behind a nearby pile of junk and broken rock to listen in as I peeked around the edge. Nearby, a line of abandoned shanty houses stood rusting in the fading daylight along with a few gaudy signs advertising the infamous entertainment district. I'd heard a little about it when I'd been staying in Sector 5, and that was more than enough to make me wary of the place.

A large chocobo stable with a paddock and bright lights was just a short distance ahead me, maybe fifty feet at the most, on the left side of the road. Past that, the gate to Wall Market stood open. I saw a carriage sitting next to the paddock, a chocobo already tethered to it and ready to go. Looked like I'd found my ride to Sector 7.

Two men were talking next to the carriage, and it was them that I'd heard. Both were middle-aged, but they were completely different. The first one ran the stable—his brown wrangler's hat, vest, belt with a large golden chocobo buckle, and patterned boots told me that right off. He had a thick brown beard, dark blue eyes, and a leather whip at his side as he stood there with his hands on his hips.

I shuddered at the sight of the guy he was talking to. The man was short, pudgy, with a thin moustache and a strip of wavy blond hair that he'd shaved on the sides. He wore a red fur-lined coat over a white shirt and brown pants, and I could see rings on his fingers and a round gold medallion hanging from his neck. And as a final, tacky touch, the word "love" was tattooed on one side of his head.

"I'm tellin' ya, Don," the wrangler said, "that last gal I sent ya fit the bill just fine. So don't you go tarnishin' my reputation 'cause Vera didn't tickle your sweet spot like ya thought she would."

The pudgy man pointed at him, his eyes narrowing. "This isn't the first bust I've had from you lately, Sam. You're slipping, and I don't like it when my suppliers go sour."

"There's still tonight's audition," Sam answered.

"You'll forgive me if my confidence in you is less than stellar," Don growled. "Ever since M gave you the boot last month, you haven't been the same. You'd best shape up, or the Trio's gonna become a Duo before you know it. Catch my drift?"

Sam folded his arms in front of him. "I hear ya."

Don nodded. "Good. And just for a bit of extra incentive…"

Quicker than I'd thought possible, he reached out a thick hand and slipped it into one of the pockets of Sam's vest. I couldn't see what Don took out at first, but when he held it up in front of him, I recognized it as a keycard. Sam glared at him but kept his mouth shut. A good idea, I thought. Don sneered at him.

"Consider yourself grounded, Sam," he said, putting the card inside one of his own pockets. "Until you send me a real hot little kitten I can play with. You know what I'm looking for. Unless you want to keep my little Abzu company along with Vera."

Then he sneered and waddled away, disappearing through the gate and into Wall Market, a pair of shady-looking goons joining him as he went inside. When Don and his bodyguards were gone, I slipped out of my hiding spot and hurried up the road. Sam was just starting to head inside the building behind him when he saw me.

"Howdy," he tipped his hat. "Somethin' I can do for ya?"

I nodded. "I'd like to see about getting a ride into Sector 7, and I've heard you're the one to talk to. That right?"

Sam sighed. "Ordinarily, I'd be happy to oblige. For a fee, of course. But I'm afraid you're outta luck tonight. Delivery service is closed until further notice. My apologies."

"Why?" I asked, though I had a pretty good idea.

"Got on Don Corneo's bad side, so he's taken away my access to the gate 'till I find a way to patch things up. Been lookin' to start expandin' my business to Sector 5, but it don't look like that's gonna be happenin' anytime soon now. Sorry for the trouble."

I folded my arms in front of me. "Any way I can help?"

"You're new to this town, ain't ya?" he said.

"Yeah, you could say that," I agreed.

Sam eyed me warily. "Don't seem too green, though. Guess you've seen your share of trouble."

"I have," I told him. "More than you know."

"I don't doubt it. You got that look on ya. Name's Sam, though just about everyone around these parts calls me Chocobo Sam. No need to tell ya why, I reckon."

I shook my head and smiled. "Nope! I'm Jessie."

"Pleased to meet ya, Jessie," he shook my hand. "As for my trouble, well… might be a way you could help out, but it's sure to be dangerous. Not too sure you'd be up for it."

"Try me," I smirked.

The corner of his mouth turned up a little. "Got some spunk in ya, girl. Anyway, here's the deal. Don Corneo's the big shot in town. Owns Wall Market lock, stock, and barrel. Lately, he's started lookin' for a girl to be the next Mrs. Corneo."

I barely suppressed the urge to vomit. "Go on."

"Me and two others audition girls around town, send him one each night. We all know the Don's tastes and what he likes. Does a bit of his own scoutin' as well, more forcefully than we do, usin' his cronies to do his dirty work. Most of the ladies that go inside his place are never seen again, whether he ends up likin' 'em or not."

"You send them there, knowing that?" I stared at him.

Sam frowned. "I give the girls fair warning, but if they wanna keep at it, that's on them. I don't make anyone go."

"So what's all this have to do with me?" I asked.

"I need that gate key back, or I'll be outta business inside a month," Sam said. "Don't expect ya to have a good time with the Don, but if we get you in there and you can swipe the card from him, I'll see to it you get your ride into Sector 7. At no charge."

I nodded. "I can do that. How do I get out, though?"

Sam went on. "Got a man on the inside over there. He'll make sure you can escape once you've got the card. Watches the front door, so no one gets in or out without him knowin' it."

"Fair enough," I said. "Where do I start?"

"Ho, slow down there, Jessie. Sure you wanna do this?"

I didn't budge. "No choice, really. If I don't, I can't get into Sector 7, now can I? I'm in, Sam."

"Wanna get in there that bad, huh?" he chuckled.

I did. "It's my only way forward."

He took out a gold coin from his pants pocket. "Then let's see how serious you really are. You win and I let you help me outta this jam I'm in. You lose, you walk away and forget about it."

"Deal," I told him.

Sam flipped the coin with his thumb, then caught it and closed his hand over it. "Call it, Jessie. Heads or tails."

I thought for a minute, finding it hard to believe he'd really leave a thing like this to chance. He had to have something up his sleeve, and I could tell that despite his situation, it wasn't going to be easy to get him to let me help him. And this was also a test, just like he'd said. To see if I really was willing to gamble and take the risk.

"Tails," I said.

He opened his hand. "Heads. You lose."

The coin had landed on heads, just as Sam had said. I could see the chocobo's head engraved on its surface. I sighed, wondering what I was going to do now, but then a thought occurred to me as I wondered why he'd have told me as much as he had only to leave his chance for getting out of the hole he was in to a coin toss.

"Mind if I take a look at the other side?" I asked.

"Suit yourself," he shrugged.

Same handed me his coin, and I turned it over. It was heads on that side, too. I smirked as I tossed it back to him. "Should've guessed you'd pull something like that. So what now?"

He slipped his coin back into his pocket. "Took a gamble with that toss, even though you thought the odds was good. Shows me you're no stranger to risk. Still, you lost, so walk away."

"You cheated, though," I pointed out. "Which means I win."

"Guess that's true. If you want in that bad, then I won't stop ya. But to get into the Don's place, you'll be needin' a letter of recommendation first. And I know someone who can get that for ya."

I nodded. "Thought so. Who's that?"

"Head over to the Honeybee Inn and ask for a guy named Andrea. I'll let him know to expect ya. You'll be needin' a dress, too. That armor you got's good for trekkin' through the slums, but the Don likes a clean lookin' girl, all glamour and style."

"Andrea Rhodea?" I blinked. "You mean him?"

Sam scratched his beard. "That's the one. You know him?"

I'd almost forgotten that he lived here. He had told me back on the plate when we'd first met that this was where he conducted most of his business and had his main establishment. I hadn't seen him much since I had joined the cast of LOVELESS, but I'd stayed in touch. Until I had come down here to the slums, that is.

"He's an old friend," I answered. "From the plate."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "That so? Well, that'll make it easier, then. As for the dress, go see Madam M. She hates Corneo, so she'll be happy to help ya with your little theft. Mind her temper, though. You can find her at the hand massage parlor she runs."

"I'll do that," I told him.

"Good. I'll be waitin' here for ya to bring me the gate key. Just keep your eyes open in there, Jessie. Don's slippery as an eel, and gettin' that card from him ain't gonna be easy."

I smiled. "Thanks, Sam. I'll be careful."

With that, I walked over to the gate, took a breath, and went inside Wall Market. I'd hoped I wouldn't have to come here, but things hadn't worked out the way I'd expected. The place was loud and crowded, full of people going back and forth. Long strings of colored paper lanterns hung over the narrow, twisting streets, suspended between the rows of low, makeshift buildings, and small openings led into a few dark alleys here and there. I passed them quickly.

I found the Honeybee Inn tucked away in a secluded corner of the district. The entrance was full of lights and much showier than the one for the Honeybee Lounge back on the plate. Probably to fit the town, I supposed. Sector 8 was a quieter place, a cultural hub, and Wall Market was a busy entertainment center full of activity, shops, restaurants, and a lot of less savory and more dangerous things, all lit up in bright neon. I sighed and found myself missing my old home.

The inside of the Inn was a lot like the Lounge, though, so much so that I almost felt like I was back there. A long, polished wood reception desk along the left side, the door to the main lounge area ahead of me, and the red carpet laying over the black and white checked floor. A few Honeybee girls stood smiling at the patrons, and a staircase next to the desk led up to the second floor. Behind the desk stood a young guy in a bright yellow and black suit and tie.

I walked over to him. "I'm here to see Andrea."

"Do you have an appointment?" he asked.

"No, but he's expecting me," I answered. "I'm Jessie. Chocobo Sam told him I was coming."

The receptionist nodded. "Ah, yes. Just a moment."

He moved out from behind the desk and went through the door to the main lounge, motioning for me to wait where I was. I did, noticing a few other people sitting in chairs scattered around the lobby. It was as busy as the Lounge had been on the plate.

A few minutes later, the receptionist returned, telling me to follow him. He led me upstairs and down a short hall to a door at the far end, opening it for me before leaving to go back to the desk. I stepped into a large, luxurious suite to see Andrea waiting for me.

"Jessie," he said, striding gracefully across the room to meet me. "A pleasure to see you again. It's been a long time."

I smiled and hugged him. "It's good to see you too, Andi."

He swept his arm out. "Please, sit down."

"Sam told you why I'm here?" I asked, having a seat in a cushioned chair. Andrea sat in another across from me.

"Yes," he answered, leaning forward. "He sent word to me not long ago informing me of the situation and of your needs. Of course, I'll do everything I can to help you."

"Thanks. He said I need a letter of recommendation."

Andrea grinned. "And you shall have it. Normally, I test those who seek my approval. They must prove they know how to move, how to be alive on the stage. But you've already done that."

"You caught me off guard that time," I remembered fondly.

"Yes, I did," he laughed. "But that was part of the test, as you know. To see how well you would do and react, and if you could handle being under the lights again. And you passed wonderfully."

I beamed. "Thanks, Andi. It was fun. I still miss it sometimes, you know. That life, being on stage."

"Reeve told me what happened, and I'm very sorry, Jessie. Though you have lost much, you have endured and not given up. A sign of true beauty, to be sure. You'll do well in Sector 7."

Standing up, Andrea walked over to a large, polished wooden desk, pulled open the top drawer, and took out the letter. After signing it, he came back and gave it to me as I stood up to meet him. The sheet had a seal in the shape of a honeybee at the bottom.

"I really appreciate all your help," I told him. "Means a lot."

Andrea took my shoulder. "You're welcome. I've no doubt you'll be able to accomplish your goal here. You've changed since last I saw you, and in more ways than just your attire. I like it."

I chuckled. "Guess I have, haven't I?"

"More than you know, Jessie. Now, you should go. I believe Madam M is awaiting you. She's as practiced in the art of beauty as I am, so you need not worry. However, she _will_ expect you to partake of her services first. Whatever you do, don't be cheap with her. She doesn't take kindly to those who undervalue her work."

"I'll keep that in mind," I promised. "Sam warned me, too."

Andrea bowed again. "Farewell, my friend. Until we meet again. Be safe, and take care of yourself."

After saying goodbye, I left the Inn and headed back through Wall Market. Madam M's parlor wasn't hard to find. It stood amidst a row of small shops at the end of a short, paved path with a pair of red lanterns mounted on pedestals on either side. As I walked up to the door, I took the handle and gently pushed it open.

The parlor was elegant, the walls covered in elaborate illustrations colored in red, yellow, white, and gold. A wide desk of dark mahogany stood nearby, with a pair of white masks decorating one of the upright poles and a round lamp sitting on one end. Off to the right, a short hall led to another room, which was probably where the customers went to actually get their massages.

Behind the desk was a slender, middle-aged woman, her black hair pinned up with several golden hairpins. She wore a black kimono with golden flowers on it as well as a bright orange obi tied at the front. Her left shoulder was bare, and she held a black and gold fan in her fingers. She smiled graciously as I walked in.

"Ah, you must be the one Andrea spoke of," she said, her voice soft and stately. "Jessie, wasn't it? I am Madam M."

I nodded. "That's right. You can put me in a dress?"

The woman's dark brown eyes looked me over. "All in good time. I know what you're planning. And I'd like nothing more than to help you pull a fast one on Don Corneo."

"I've heard you don't like him," I said.

Madam M's voice changed so abruptly I could hardly believe it was coming from the same person. "Who the hell does!? That fat bastard is a goddamn cockroach! He treats women like toys!"

I stared at her. "Then why do you send them over to him?"

"Are you a fucking _idiot!?"_ she screeched, moving right up into my face. "He's got this shithole of a town right in his greasy little fingers! If I ever stood up to him, I'd lose my position as one of the Trio as well as my business! Maybe even my life! I don't have a goddamn choice but to send him his girls, little miss!"

I remembered then the thinly-veiled threat he'd made against Sam earlier and began to understand the immense pressure that he, Andrea, and Madam M were under. And from what Sam had told me, the girls they sent went willingly and warned. I felt Madam M's piercing gaze on me, but I didn't waver as I met it.

"Sorry," I said. "I'm still learning how this place works."

"Think nothing of it," Madam M assured me with a soft smile, her voice calm and demure again as she took a step back. "You're new here, after all. Now, your hand. Let me see it."

Taking off my glove, I held out my right hand. She took it, holding it gently but firmly in her left as she closed her fan with a single flick of her wrist and used it to lightly trace the lines on my palm. She followed them with her eyes, reading the grooves in my skin.

"Hmm…" she murmured. "A long road. Love, loss… but strength, too. And resolve. The soul of a performer, but a troubled heart. As well as a keen mind. You've come far, Jessie."

"Thank you," I said.

She let go of my hand. "I can't promise you a million gil dress, but I have some connections. You'll look positively stunning by the time I'm through with you. I guarantee it."

"So what's next?" I asked.

"First things first," Madam M went behind her desk again. "Before I give you your makeover, Jessie, I'd like you to have one of my famous hand massages. Take your pick."

There were three different types listed on the small sign next to the lamp—Luxury, Standard, and Poor. Remembering Andrea's warning, I decided on the Luxury Course. I'd made a good living in Sector 5 with my repair business over the past month and could afford the expensive option. And I also knew that staying on Madam M's good side was well worth the extra gil. Friends in high places and all that.

"Luxury Course," I gave her the money.

Madame M smiled as she took it and put it away. "Excellent choice, Jessie. I like you. Come, this way."

I followed her. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," she agreed, leading me over to the little hall.

"What's the M stand for?" I wondered.

Madam M stopped so abruptly I almost walked right into her. She turned around and pointed her fan straight at me, her voice hardening just a little. "More Than You Need To Know."

I blinked. "Right. Forget I asked."

Instantly, she was the friendly, gracious host again, and she led me down the short hall and into the other room. After I took off my gloves and put them on a side table, I laid down on the bed as Madam M took hold of my fingers and gently started rubbing them. She was definitely skilled in what she did, attending to both hands with expert care and a soft, cool cream that did wonders for my skin.

"How was that?" she asked when she was finished.

I sat up and flexed my fingers. "It was incredible, Madam M. Feels good. Really good, actually. Thank you."

She bowed. "My pleasure, Jessie. A customer with good manners is hard to find in a place like this. And you didn't go cheap on me, either. I respect that. Now then, we have a lot of work to do."

"My dress?" I asked.

"Yes. And more. Makeup, your nails, that sort of thing. You may be a tomboy now, but I could tell from your palm that you're familiar with beauty and glamour. We can work with that. Ready?"

I nodded. "Let's get started."

* * *

"So, what do you think?" Madam M asked.

I stood in front of a mirror near the massage bed and took a good, long look at myself. It had taken about an hour for her to get me ready for tonight. I hadn't had a makeover like this since the day I'd first met Andrea. And he'd been right when he had told me she was as skilled at it as he was. I smiled as I saw my reflection.

I was wearing a strapless, ankle-length dress of soft black satin, the back open down to my waist. A slit along one side of the skirt exposed my left leg, and on my feet, I wore a pair of matching black high heels. My hair hung freely over my left shoulder, still with the extensions in it but so cleverly hidden you'd never know they were there. She'd curled it a little, too, and it spilled down the front of my chest.

My lips were moist and glistening with a vibrant pink lipstick, and a soft touch of blush colored my cheeks. Madam M had touched up my eyes with just a hint of dark blue eyeshadow, and she'd painted my nails with a smooth pink polish. I also wore a pair of small, studded earrings that sparkled and shone like little stars.

I looked at Madam M. "I love it! I haven't dressed like this in a long time. Kinda miss it now and then."

"It suits you," she smiled. "And I do good work."

"Definitely!" I agreed.

There was one last thing I had to check. I bent down, reached into the slit of my dress, and touched the inside of my right thigh, where I'd hidden a little surprise for Corneo. I had strapped a raspberry onto my leg with a slim band of black cloth, like an explosive garter. Just a bit of extra incentive to get him to talk.

Madam M knew about it, of course. "Everything in place?"

"Yeah," I withdrew my hand and straightened up. "It's all set. I'm as ready to go as I'll ever be."

"Good. I'll walk you over there, then."

I followed her out of her massage parlor and down the main street, getting more than a few curious looks and whistles on the way. I didn't bother responding, just kept on going, though I did smile just a little to myself as I did. Brought back my acting days a little, how I'd often been noticed when I was out, although the neighborhood was very different up there than it was down here.

As I walked, I thought of Kunsel, wishing he could've seen me like this. Spending a night out on the town with him in this dress would've been so wonderful. He'd seen me fancied up before, of course, but still, what Madam M had done just about put a lot of my outfits from those days to shame. Letting out a bittersweet sigh, I brought my attention to where we were going and what I had to do.

Don Corneo's place was something like a red and gold pagoda, and it sat at the end of the street at the top of a short flight of stairs amidst a collection of colored lanterns and small trees on either side of the main gate. The mansion had a central area with two wings, one on each side. It was big and gaudy, and I hated it. We stopped just outside the gate as I took a breath to steady my nerves.

"We're here," Madam M said. "You have the letter?"

I held up. "Got it."

She nodded. "Very well. I'll be at my parlor, so once you leave here, come see me and we'll get you changed."

"I understand. Thanks for all your help, Madam M."

"You're welcome," she bowed. "Good luck."

Then she was gone, moving gracefully back down the road the way we'd come. I watched her go, then sighed and turned back to the gate. I swallowed, my heart pounding at the thought of what I'd gotten myself into, but I couldn't turn back now. The only way into Sector 7 was here, in the Don's Mansion, getting that key back.

Taking a deep breath, I opened the gate and went inside.


	23. TWENTY-TWO

**TWENTY-TWO**

"You tonight's bride?" the man at the door asked.

I nodded. "That's me."

I was surprised at how young he was. He looked like he was maybe sixteen at the most. Probably new here, which was why he was stuck at the front door. Still, if Sam was right, this was the Trio's inside man. So I was sure he already knew the real reason I was here. He wasn't alone, though, so we couldn't talk openly.

The goon on his left grinned. "Damn, she's hot!"

"Think we'll get a piece of her, Leslie?" the brute to his right let his eyes roam hungrily over me.

"Not for us to decide," Leslie said.

He was lean, his cap, jacket, pants and boots all black, with a white undershirt and silver hair that hung down almost to his shoulders. His yellow eyes didn't have the greed and lust in them that the other goons did. Even though I'd just met him, I felt like I could trust him. Though he looked bored and apathetic, it seemed to me almost like an act. Not something just anyone would've picked up on, but from my time in the theater, I'd learned how to see things like that.

Leslie folded his arms in front of him. "Got your letter?"

"Right here," I showed it to him.

We were standing in the courtyard in front of the mansion's inner entrance, where a few stalls of silks and other goods stood nearby. As I handed Leslie the letter, I kept a wary eye on the thugs with him. They were practically drooling over me. I'd have liked nothing better than to kick both their asses, but I was on a mission. And anyway, I didn't have much experience fighting hand to hand.

Well, not yet, at least. But although I didn't know it, I wasn't too far away from finding myself the best teacher I could've ever asked for. She would become a lot more than that, though. As good a friend to me as Aerith, and the sister I'd never had. But now I'm getting a little ahead of myself. Anyway, I waited patiently while Leslie looked over the letter. It didn't take long, and I wondered why he was working for Corneo while also covertly helping the Trio at the same time.

"Looks like everything's in order," he said. "You can go on inside. If you're sure you wanna do this."

I gave him a small smile. "I have to."

Leslie sighed. "Alright. Watch yourself in there."

He motioned to the two men at his side, and they pushed open the double doors for me, leering at me the whole time. I ignored them and hurried inside, jumping a little in spite of myself when the doors closed behind me with a loud clang. Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves, I looked around at Corneo's estate.

I was in a large, six-sided room with a reception desk sitting to the left and a staircase on my right rising up and around to the upper level, where three sets of double doors stood closed. The place was decorated in red and gold, with round floor lamps here and there, a sofa off to the left near the desk, a collection of large, painted pots, and other assorted decorations like wall scrolls and framed art.

There were doors on the first floor as well, including a pair behind the desk, but I suspected that the Don's office was probably upstairs, so I ignored them. Didn't look like I'd have to worry about where to go, in any case. I wasn't alone in here. A man in a gray suit with dark red hair came over to see me as soon as I walked in.

"Well, looky here," he said. "You must be the Don's girl for tonight. Right this way. Follow me."

As he led me to the stairs and up to the second floor, I assumed an air of eager innocence mixed with just a touch of nervousness, playing the part of a young, naive slum girl looking to make it big and become Wall Market's leading lady. She knew what she wanted, all the material benefits and privileges of being the Don's mistress, but she was still way out of her element and didn't know it yet.

The man in the gray suit stopped just past the second set of double doors. "Wait here. Gotta tell the Don you've arrived."

"Alright," I said.

Then he went inside the Don's office while I waited in the upstairs hall. I glanced over the railing at the first floor. It was about twenty feet or so below me, the floor covered in a soft, expensive carpet featuring a dragon design enclosed in a circle in the middle of it. A rough jump, if it came to that, but still manageable.

I noticed as well that a few of those painted pots were huge, at least eight feet tall, and from here I could see they were sealed shut. A small smile crept across my face then as an escape plan slowly began to form in my mind. I knew I'd have to get out fast, whatever happened. Better to be ready before that. When I heard the doors open again behind me, I slipped back into the role I'd prepared, knowing my life depended on this performance. No turning back now.

"Don Corneo will see you now," Gray Suit said.

I nodded and walked into the office, both hands clasped in front of me, and I had to admit, my nervousness wasn't entirely an act. Nothing I could do but go forward, though. The raspberry, hidden safely inside my skirt and strapped to my leg, reassured me.

Another man was waiting for me inside. It wasn't the Don, though. This guy was dark-skinned, with a blond mohawk, a sleeveless orange vest unzipped over his bare chest, blue jeans, and brown boots. A gold chain hung around his neck, and a pair of dark sunglasses hid his eyes. He stared hungrily at me, towering over me as he stood there almost a full foot taller than I was.

"Alright, miss," he told me. "Stand in front of the desk."

I did, noticing then the wide, polished oak desk nearby. A long rug lay over the wooden floor, red with two intertwined dragons on it, and a few round, pale yellow lamps lit the room. Behind the Don's desk was an open doorway framed by silk curtains. No doubt it led to his room, and I shuddered to think about how many women had gone inside and never returned. I wasn't going to be one of them.

The man looked me over. "Very nice. A real beauty tonight! Kotch is my name. One of the Don's top men."

"Oh, um, I see…" I stammered, keeping in character.

"Hey, just a minute…" Kotch frowned, gazing closely at me. "Ain't I seen you somewhere before?"

Uh-oh. Though I doubted he'd ever seen the play himself, flyers for LOVELESS were all over town. I looked pretty different now than I did then, but if anyone were to ever take the time to compare me to the girl on the poster, it was always possible they'd realize it was me. I held my breath, hoping Kotch wouldn't make the connection.

I shook my head. "No. Maybe you're thinking of someone else? I'm sure we've never met until now."

"Ah, well… I guess," he said. Then he swept his arm out toward the curtained doorway. "Anyway, you ready for this? It's time to get started. Let me introduce you to the leader of Wall Market and its most eligible bachelor! The one, the only... Don Corneo!"

Just a moment later, Don Corneo peered out from behind one side of the curtained alcove behind the desk, grinning eagerly when he saw me. He scampered across the room, a lit cigar in one hand, and moved right up in front of me, licking his lips as his eyes roamed greedily over my body. It made my skin crawl, but I kept up the act.

"Oh, what a lovely kitty you are!" he laughed. "Very good, yes very good indeed. You got a name, sugar?"

"Janie," I told him, nervous excitement in my voice.

Corneo pointed at me. "I like that. As for me, just call me Don. Or daddy. Anyway, know why you're here?"

I nodded. "Looking to take a step up in the world."

"Then you've come to the right place!" he cackled. "Think you can win me over, sweetheart?"

"Thought I already did," I said.

He took a puff on his cigar. "Let's find out, shall we?"

Motioning for Kotch to leave, Corneo held out his other arm, and I slid mine through it even though I'd have preferred to break it instead. We headed around the desk and through the doors behind it, which, as I'd suspected, led into his bedroom.

The place was lit in red and pink, with soft rugs on the floor and a huge, four-poster canopied bed in the middle of it. Corneo let go of me and jumped right on it while I sat on the edge, tentatively but with just a hint of anticipation. I couldn't be too eager or he'd get suspicious, and if I acted too scared, he might decide I wasn't worth his time and try to get rid of me like the other girls who had come in here. It was a delicate balancing act, but I knew how to walk the line.

"Oh, you really are a hottie!" he crooned, moving toward me on his hands and knees. "Come on over here and show me what ya got, Janie. Wanna be my bride? Then lay one on me!"

I'd have sooner kissed a hedgehog pie. "Thought we could talk a bit first. Then we'll see what else our lips can do."

Corneo rubbed his hands together and bounced eagerly on the silk sheets and purple blanket. "Oh, ho! You're a sexy little minx, aren'tcha? I love it! Whaddya wanna talk about?"

"Being Mrs. Corneo comes with a lot of perks, right?"

"If I take a real shine to ya and you keep me interested," he said. He spread his arms out wide. "Money, clothes, jewelry, power… you name it, it's yours, baby! I got it all!"

I scooted toward him a little. "Mmm, sounds nice. There's another thing I'd like to know first, before…"

Corneo leered at me. "Oh, you mean _that,_ Janie? I ain't never done it. So don't worry, we'll have a good time. Now just come here to daddy and gimme some lovin'!"

He reached for me, but I stood up and backed away from the bed. I didn't believe a word he'd said. No doubt they were just lines, and that's not why I was there anyway. It was nearly time to quit performing, but first I had to know where the key was.

"No, that's not it," I said. "Sector 7. I grew up there but haven't been back in years. Kinda miss it, I guess. But I hear the gate's locked up nice and tight now. Nobody can get through."

"Eh? One of my suppliers pissed me off earlier today, so I took the gate key from him. Had to teach him a lesson."

I nodded. "I get that. So, you have it on you, then?"

Corneo patted the pocket of his white shirt. "Right here, baby. Nice and safe. What's it to ya?"

"Well, if it's not too much trouble, I'd like to go back home for a bit first before settling in here. Take a last look at the place, you know. Just think of it as a request from your bride."

"And if I let you through?" he asked, eying me suspiciously.

Fighting back my revulsion, I took Corneo lightly by the shoulders and whispered huskily in his ear. "Then you'll get to see just how sexy I can be. Tonight's just a warmup, Don."

Just as I'd expected, his eyes went wide. "Yowza! You drive a pretty hard bargain, Janie. But I'll give ya what you want. Time to get started, though, and just to make sure you don't try to back out or change your mind, I've got a little incentive…"

Rolling off the bed, Corneo went to a nightstand, picked up a small camera, and started taking pictures of me, giggling as he did. Although I'd figured he'd pull something like this, I acted flustered and a little put out, trying to look away as he moved around me taking shot after shot. As long as he thought he was in control, he'd be much more likely to let his guard down. And that's when I'd move.

When he was finished, Corneo put the camera back, then bounded right into his bed. Swallowing, I crawled in toward him, needing to get in close so I could swipe the key even as I shuddered inwardly at what I was doing. But on the outside, I kept playing the part for a little longer, sexy and shy at the same time, my hands roaming over him as he drew me in and shoved me against him.

"Come on, sugar," he breathed. "Kiss me!"

While he puckered his lips and closed his eyes, I took his face with one hand while slipping the other slowly into his shirt pocket. I let my face get close enough to his that he could feel my breath, and I was just closing my fingers around the card when Corneo suddenly opened his eyes and seized my wrist, his grip painfully tight.

He glared at me. "Just what the hell do you think you're doin',? You got any idea who you're messin' with?"

"I could ask you the same thing!" I shot back.

It was time to drop the act. Gathering my strength, I yanked myself free of Corneo's grasp and quickly backed off the bed when he tried to grab hold of me again. He snarled as I stood up, but he didn't move, his eyes narrowing as I stared him down.

Corneo clenched his fists. "Gonna teach you to steal from me, you bitch! Somebody get in—"

"Ah, ah!" I wagged my finger. "Bad idea."

Reaching through the slit in my skirt, I unfastened the strap on my thigh, took out the raspberry, and held it up so Corneo could see it. He gulped, his eyes locked on it as I walked up to the bed and put my foot on the mattress, holding the grenade in front of me.

"What do you want?" Corneo grumbled.

I pointed at his shirt pocket. "The gate key, of course. Hand it over, Corneo. Now. If you don't…"

With a cunning smirk, I held out the raspberry so it was just above his crotch, my thumb resting easily on the pin. Corneo whimpered and backed away a little, sweating nervously as he started to get the picture. His hands flew in between his legs as he stared nervously at me. It was pretty satisfying seeing him like this.

I hefted the raspberry. "I'll blow 'em up."

"You're bluffin'," he challenged me. "You'd be killed, too!"

"Sure about that?" I raised an eyebrow.

This time, I _did_ pull the pin, letting Corneo see what I was doing. I couldn't do any pretending here. He may have been a depraved son of a bitch, but he wasn't stupid like Beck and his buddies. Corneo would've seen through it if I'd tried that ruse again. Besides, I had thought about this possibility before I'd ever come here, and I didn't really mind dying if it meant taking this sleaze out with me.

His eyes widened. "Okay, okay! Put it back! Put it back!"

"Wise decision," I said, replacing the pin.

"Take it, bitch!" Corneo thrust the card at me. "I'll just hafta tear it outta Sam's hide later. Might need to change how I pick my brides, too. Three a night instead of just one. Yeah, I'll have the boys send 'em here to me, then I'll take the best of the lot."

I grabbed it. "He had nothing to do with this."

"You think I'm an idiot!?" he growled.

"Oh, you're way more than that," I told him, moving away from the bed. "I'm here for my own reasons. So just leave him alone or my hand might… just… slip…"

He glanced at the raspberry. "Fine! One thing, though…"

"What's that?" I asked.

"Villains only give up in a certain situation," Corneo said, backing up toward the headboard of his bed. It was solid gold and shaped like a dragon. "Now, what would that be?"

I knew what he was up to, having spotted the seams in the floor in front of the bed as soon as we had come in here. But I pretended that I hadn't noticed, moving slowly toward the door, my eyes on the Don as he stood confidently on his bed. I stopped just a little short of the seam behind me and tensed myself to move.

"When they think they've won," I answered.

"Bingo!" Corneo cackled.

The instant he pushed the hidden lever in the headboard, I sprang backwards over the edge as the floor dropped open where I'd just been standing. I heard a roar from the darkness below, and the putrid smell wafting up from the pit told me it led down to the sewers. Corneo was livid, crawling toward the front of bed and staring at me disbelief. And as he did, I pointed at him, the raspberry held high.

"Missed me!" I winked.

He pounded the bed. "Shit! How—"

I pulled out the pin. "Oh, and before I leave…"

"No!" Corneo wailed.

"Call it a present," I smirked. "From Vera and everyone else you've fed to that monster down there."

Kissing the raspberry, I dropped it into the pit and then ran out the door, ignoring Corneo's angry shouts. The explosion was muffled from up here, but I could hear his pet—whatever it was—growling in pain as the grenade's blast tore into it. I hadn't killed it, I was pretty sure about that, but I'd at least hurt it. And that was enough for me. I had the card, and it was time to get the hell outta here.

Kicking off my heels, I sped into the upstairs hall just in time to see a bunch of Corneo's lackeys running at me from both sides, and when I glanced over my shoulder, I saw the Don himself stomping toward me. They had me boxed in on all sides, or so they thought. My heart racing in my chest, I hurried toward the railing.

"Get her!" Corneo yelled. "Shoot the goddamn bitch!"

Grabbing the railing, I leaped over the side just as the goons shot at me. I landed on one of the huge jars, just like I'd planned, then jumped down to the floor amidst shouts and gunfire as the Don's thugs tried to come down the stairs after me. As soon as I landed, I bolted across the room toward the main doors, bullets chewing into the walls all around me as I kept my head down and burst into the front hall.

Leslie and his two cohorts were in there waiting for me, but I didn't slow down. As soon as he saw me, he slugged the thug on his left while I drove my knee into the gut of the one on the right. They dropped like deadweights as Leslie quickly barricaded the inner doors.

"Go!" he shouted. "Front door's open!"

"Will you be alright?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yeah. I'll just say you got by us. Fights happen here all the time. I'll be fine."

"Thanks!" I breathed, waving as I left.

I raced through the front doors and out into Wall Market, running down the steps. I didn't slow down until I was back inside the winding maze of streets and alleys, and every so often I glanced behind me, but there was no one. Looked like I'd made a clean getaway. Even so, I kept on checking until I got back to Madam M's massage parlor. As it came into view, I let out a long, shaky breath.

She was waiting for me inside. "Jessie! I'm relieved to see you safe! People are saying there was an incident in Corneo's estate not long ago. I assume you had something to do with it."

"You could say that," I admitted.

"I thought as much," Madam M smiled. "You succeeded?"

I held up the gate key and laughed. "Got what I came for. Gave the Don's pet a nasty burn it won't forget, either."

She grinned. "Excellent! That'll teach that bastard! It's a shame you weren't able to kill the beast, but with luck, someone else will finish the job one day. In any case, well done."

"Thanks," I said. "I'd better get this to Sam."

"Of course. Let's get you changed first, though. I'm sure you'll want your things back. I've kept them safe for you."

It didn't take long for me to change out of my black dress and back into my normal clothes. As I fastened my leather belt around my waist and adjusted the pouch on my hip, I looked in the mirror and realized I had done it. I had pulled off this little mission, and pretty much all on my own, too. I'd seen my share of danger before, of course, but this was the first time I'd gone through it all by myself. And as I thought of that, I felt my confidence grow, and my hope.

Maybe I could make it in the slums after all.

After pulling my hair back into its usual high ponytail and tugging on my gloves, I went back into the massage parlor's main room, where Madam M was waiting for me. She handed me my gray backpack, and I slipped it on gratefully as I got ready to leave.

"All set?" she asked.

I nodded. "Yeah. I—oh, I almost forgot! The earrings!"

I reached up to take them off, but Madam M tapped my hand with her closed fan and gently pushed it down. "Keep them, Jessie. As a gift for giving Corneo a good kick in the ass."

"Thanks, Madam M," I said. "I _do_ like them."

She bowed. "You're welcome. I'll hold onto the dress for you. If you ever wish to wear it again, please come see me. I'll be more than happy to give you another makeover."

I smiled. "I'll definitely keep that in mind."

"Good," she replied. "Oh, and one other thing—Meridel."

"What?" I blinked.

Madam M chuckled. "That's what the M stands for, Jessie. Meridel. My first name, of course."

"It's pretty," I told her. "Why don't you use it?"

"That's a long story, one we don't have time for now. But maybe, if you ever come back this way, I'll share it with you. Over another of my luxurious hand massages, of course."

I grinned. "Deal!"

"Farewell, Jessie," she said. "And good luck."

After saying goodbye, I left Madam M's massage parlor and walked through the streets toward the main gate as casually as I could, hoping I wouldn't be noticed. Now that I wasn't in my dress anymore, it would be harder for Corneo's thugs to find me. Still, I'd feel a lot better once I was out of Wall Market and safely in Sector 7.

I was almost to the gate leading outside of town when I felt a hand come down on my shoulder. When I turned around to see who it was, I gasped as my heart leaped into my throat. It was Kotch. He looked at me with, of all things, awe and even hesitation.

"Knew I recognized you," he said. "Jessie Jae, right?"

"What?" I stared at him.

He held up a LOVELESS flyer. "You know, the actress? Never seen the play, but I've heard about ya."

"Sorry, you've gotta be mistaken," I said.

Kotch shook his head. "No way. Dunno what you're doin' down in the slums, but I know it's you. Changed your look and all, but your face don't lie. Corneo's pissed, you know."

I stepped away from him in a hurry. "Like I care."

"Heard you even torched Abzu," he said. "You, uh… you don't have any more of them grenades on you, do ya?"

"As a matter of fact, I do. And if you don't want to see one of them up close and _very_ personal, then leave me alone and forget you saw me. They've got a short fuse, and so I."

He threw up his hands. "Whoa, whoa! I ain't here to cause you any trouble. Not after what you did at the Don's place. Girl that can do that ain't one to screw around with."

I put my hands on my hips. "You're damn right!"

"I, uh… just wanted an autograph," Kotch stammered. "Spotted ya and figured you were headin' outta town."

"I am," I said, not sure if I should believe him.

He held out the flyer. "Well?"

I sighed, took a pen from my belt pouch, and signed it. "Here. Just don't tell anyone about me."

"R-Right," he promised. "Thanks."

"Sure. That all?"

Kotch nodded. "Yeah. Oh, uh, better steer clear of Wall Market for a while. Corneo'll probably put a bounty out on you after tonight. Like I told ya, he's really pissed off."

I frowned. "Not to sound ungrateful, but… why are you telling me this, Kotch? You're one of his righthand men."

"I like cute girls," he shrugged.

"Even ones that kick your boss' ass?" I raised an eyebrow.

He laughed. "I just do what he tells me to do. Better that than bein' fed to his pet, you know? But I ain't dumb enough to cross you, either. I wanna keep my skin in one piece."

Then he left, and I hurried through the gate, not quite sure what to make of Kotch but wanting to be out of Wall Market even more now. It had scared me a little, him finding me like that, and I had thought he'd try to drag me back to the Don's mansion. But he'd been alone, without any of Corneo's other lackeys.

Now that I thought about it, I realized he hadn't been there during my escape. But I didn't think for a minute that he was a nice guy. Kotch was a coward, too scared to stand up to the Don. And me, it seemed. I kinda liked that thought, that one of Wall Market's most powerful men was afraid of little old me. A smile crept across my face as I hurried on through the gate, and I laughed a little.

Kotch would keep my secret, I was pretty sure about that. Even if it was only because he was scared I'd find out and beat the shit out of him if he ever told anyone. Which I would. And he damn well knew it, too. I'd made that clear as crystal. But I wouldn't forget his warning, either. I was more than ready to leave this town.

I found Sam outside the main building of his delivery service, right where I'd left him. He was busy talking to one of his assistants near the chocobo stables when I walked over to him. The false fronts he had on his place were charming, and the big yellow birds were adorable. I had always loved chocobos ever since I was a kid.

"Howdy," Sam dismissed his assistant and nodded to me. "I hear ya caused quite a ruckus up at Corneo's place."

I chuckled. "I did. And I got your key back, Sam."

He took it gratefully when I handed it to him. "Much obliged to ya, Jessie. You're tougher than you look."

"Thanks," I smiled. "Now, about my ride?"

"It's all set. Like I said before, free of charge. So hop aboard as soon as you're ready to go. I'll take ya to Sector 7 myself."

I nodded. "Thanks. I appreciate it."

But just before I could, he held his hand up. "Wait a sec, Jessie. Got a little somethin' for ya. Just a token of appreciation for helpin' me out. Ain't much, but I hope it'll come in handy."

Sam reached into his pocket, took out some small object I couldn't see at first, and tossed it lightly over to me. I caught it easily and gazed wonderingly at it. A flattened glass cylinder that was about half an inch thick and three inches across. Pressed carefully inside of it was a small yellow chocobo feather, neatly sealed.

"Thank you," I murmured. "What is it?"

"Feather from a newborn chocobo," Sam explained. "It's good luck. All chocobo feathers are considered lucky, but baby ones are the best. I make those and sell 'em to travelers. Keep one on me myself, too. Long as you hold onto that, you'll always make it home."

I glanced up at him. "Does it work?"

He shrugged. "Has for me. It's an old saying, but I've never had any reason to doubt it before. So I s'pose it does."

"I guess I'll find out," I laughed.

I climbed into the carriage and sat down while Sam settled himself into the chocobo's saddle. With a quick flick of the reins, we got going, heading easily down the dirt road toward Evergreen Park. The carriage was red with a bright pink roof, trimmed in yellow, and I relaxed in the soft, cushioned seat with a long, contented sigh. Outside the windows, the rows of empty shacks drifted by, and it was only a few minutes later that we finally arrived at the gate.

Leaning forward a little, I watched as Sam put the card into a small scanner mounted alongside the saddle. Just a second later, a light on it turned from red to green, and the massive gate slowly slid open. When it was done, we rode on through, the road winding through piles of old scrap and more abandoned buildings on its way to Sector 7.

Well, technically, we were already there, but as with Sector 5, these were the outskirts. The town itself would be further along. As we rode onward, I heard the gate closing behind us. I sat back in my seat again, slipping my hands behind my head and resting my feet on the cushion opposite me. I had the carriage all to myself, after all. And I'd had quite a busy night. I deserved a chance to relax.

We got there about fifteen minutes later, Sam bringing the carriage to a stop just past a chain link fence that stood open and connected the road to another wide street that ran in front of it. After he dismounted and opened the door for me, I got out and looked around, taking in my first real glimpse of my new home.

It was a busy place, people coming and going. Down the street and to my right was a train station with a mako-powered steam locomotive sitting there while passengers got on and off. To my left, the road went into the town itself, a large cluster of shacks, ramshackle buildings, and dirt streets. It wasn't that different from Sector 5 in some ways, though I didn't see any flowers here. The mako smell was a bit stronger, too. It curled my nose as I stood there and looked around.

Across from me, on the opposite side of the road, stood the Sector 7 pillar. I shivered as I looked at it, craning my neck to see how it went all the way up to the underside of the plate. A huge stone column fitted with flights of stairs, multiple floors, and a round, open platform about halfway up its height, fifteen stories above the ground. Although there was an identical pillar in Sector 5, that one had never bothered me like the sight of this one did. I wasn't sure why.

"Well, here you are," Sam said, offering his hand. "Sector 7."

I shook it. "Thanks again."

He tilted his hat, then climbed back onto his chocobo. "Good luck to ya, Jessie. You take care of yourself."

"You too, Sam," I waved.

Then he was gone, riding back down the road toward Sector 6 and Wall Market. Settling my gray backpack comfortably on my shoulders, I walked into town. There had to be an inn somewhere, so I figured I'd book a room for the night, then see about getting something to eat and go from there. There were all kinds of shops and restaurants, stalls and roadside stands and such. Nice, warm lights, too.

I had just stopped for a minute or two to get my bearings and see if I could find out where the inn was when I suddenly felt something soft and furry curling around my feet and heard a soft meow. I blinked and looked down to see a little cat, a calico, brushing against me. A stray? I supposed it was possible. Bending over, I gently picked him up, petting him as he kept meowing in my arms.

"Oh, aren't you cute," I cooed, lightly stroking his black and brown fur. "Are you lost? Hungry? You poor thing."

I liked animals, and I decided that if I couldn't find out who the cat belonged to, I'd take him in myself. First, though, I figured I ought buy him some milk. He did look neatly groomed and well cared for. So that meant he'd probably run away from home. Once I'd fed him, I'd start to ask around and see if anyone was missing a cat. I started walking again, searching for a general store, but before I got very far, I heard someone hurrying across the road toward me.

"There you are, Mr. Smalls!" a voice called.

I turned to see its owner, a heavyset guy with an open, friendly face below his dark hair and bright red bandanna. From the wide bandolier and belt of grenades he wore over his yellow shirt and dark blue pants, I figured he must've been a member of the neighborhood watch. A few years younger than me, too.

He was holding another cat in his arms. It was a calico like the one I'd found, but larger. Huge, to be exact. The guy looked at the cat I held and sighed in relief. "Biggums and I were so worried about you! It isn't nice to go wandering off on your own."

"Oh, he's yours?" I asked.

The guy nodded. "Yeah. Thanks for finding him. I—"

He didn't get to finish because right then, another guy walked over to us carrying a third calico cat. "Damn! Had to chase this little bastard halfway across town before I finally caught him."

"Reginaldo!" the first guy exclaimed, talking to the cat. "Don't you _ever _scare me like that again!"

The newer guy was taller, lean, with short black hair, a green shirt, darker green shorts, leather gloves, boots, a belt, and a red headband. I wondered if he was a member of the watch, too. It seemed like he knew the first guy. He looked a little older than me, but not by much, and he flashed me a crooked grin when he saw me.

"Thanks for the assist," he said. "Name's Biggs. This here's Wedge. I take it you're new in town? Ain't seen ya before."

I smiled. "That's right. I'm Jessie Rasberry. Nice to meetcha!"

Wedge gave me a thumbs up. "Welcome to Sector 7!"


	24. TWENTY-THREE

**TWENTY-THREE**

"So, what brings you here, Jessie?" Biggs asked.

The three of us were walking down the road, each of us carrying a cat as we brought them back to Wedge's place. He was on my right and Biggs was on my left. I liked them both right away. Sometimes you just click with certain people kind of like puzzle pieces fitting together, and that's the way it was with Biggs and Wedge.

Although I'd only just met them, I felt comfortable with these guys already. They were both so friendly and easygoing, and I couldn't help smiling a little as we went along. It took me a moment to answer Biggs' question, though. It was a good one, and I wasn't quite sure what to say at first. But after I thought about it, I knew.

"Came here from Sector 5," I said. "Looking to expand my business a bit and make some new friends."

Wedge grinned. "Cool! What do ya do?"

I chuckled. "Me? I fix stuff. Computers, phones, machines… lots of things. Anything electronic. If it's broken, I get it working again. Think you could use someone like that in Sector 7?"

"You bet!" Biggs replied. "A ton of stuff comes down here from the plate, most of it busted, so people would probably pay you good money to get it working again. Could make a name and a living for yourself in the salvage and repair business."

"Guess I'll fit right in, then," I laughed.

Biggs blinked. "Hey, wait a minute! You're the one Lena was telling me about, aren'tcha?"

I giggled. "Yep, that's me."

"Oh, you know her?" Wedge asked.

"We're good friends," I answered. "She mentioned having a brother over here. I'm guessing that's you, Biggs."

He nodded. "Sure is. She messaged me a little while ago saying you saved her from some bandits on the way here."

"Well, it was more like we saved each other," I smiled.

"Still, I'm grateful," Biggs said. "So if you ever need any help, me an' Wedge've gotcha covered. Just say the word!"

I gazed fondly at my new friends. "Thanks, guys."

"And here we are!" Wedge announced.

We stopped just outside a small, makeshift house at the corner of a long, narrow side street. There were a lot of little homes like that, and I could tell from the balls of string lying nearby and the three small food dishes set by the door that this was Wedge's home. After gently setting the cats on the ground, we just stood together and watched them for a moment as they meowed at our feet.

I knelt down to pet them. "They really are cute, Wedge."

"They seem to like you too, Jessie," he said, joining me. "I love cats, you know. Guess these guys are hungry, so I'll go ahead and feed them. Then it's refuelin' time for me!"

"Refueling?" I laughed. "What's that mean?"

Biggs clapped Wedge on the shoulder. "That's just how Wedge likes to say he's hungry, too. Isn't it, buddy?"

Wedge gave him a thumbs up. "Yep! That's how it is!"

"That's actually pretty clever!" I told him.

"Glad you like it," he said. "I won't be long, guys."

I stood up while Wedge fed his cats a generous amount of cat food and milk. No wonder they looked so healthy. They dug right in, side by side near the front door. Wedge cooed to them for a moment, and then he straightened up and joined us.

Biggs glanced at him. "Looks like they're all set."

"Yeah. Thanks for helping me bring 'em home, you two. Never saw these fellas run away like that before."

"No problem, Wedge," I said. "Glad I could lend a hand."

"What she said!" Biggs added.

In a way, though, I was glad the cats had run away. If they hadn't, I might never have met Biggs and Wedge. And then I remembered what Aerith had told me, that I was meant to be down in the slums. Was this a part of that somehow? I wasn't sure, but if it was, I didn't mind. It had brought me two new friends, after all.

Wedge chuckled. "Well, time to refuel!"

"Now that you mention it, I'm pretty hungry myself," I said. "What about you, Biggs? Up for some grub?"

"Count me in!" he agreed.

I grinned. "Awesome! Any good places to eat around here?"

Wedge nodded. "Oh, yeah! Follow me!"

"We know the best!" Biggs said.

"Wow!" I giggled as we walked down the street after Wedge. "Can't wait to try it, then. So where are we going?"

Biggs just smirked. "You'll see."

"Her food is _heaven!"_ Wedge gushed.

"Her?" I wondered.

He glanced over his shoulder at us. "A friend of ours. And the best cook in the slums. All of Midgar, even!"

"Makes some damn good drinks, too," Biggs added.

After finding our way back to the main road, we followed it until it dead ended at another street going across. It was dirt, like all the others in the slums, and on the other side of the intersection was a wide open clearing, a yard of sorts. And when we got there, we all stopped for just a moment to look at where we were going.

It was a bar, but not one of the rundown drinking pits you'd find in seedier areas like Wall Market. No, this place was different. And one of the biggest buildings I'd ever seen down here. It had at least two floors, maybe three, and a polished wooden deck that wrapped almost all the way around the front of the bar. There were tables and chairs for sitting outside, large windows, and soft, warm yellow lights.

A short flight of stairs led from the ground up to the deck and a set of swinging saloon doors that led inside. Neatly suspended above each side of the deck was a canopy made of clean, olive-colored cloth, and a third one stretched over an archway decorating the entrance. And just above that was a wide, gently curving wooden sign with just two words on it in clear, yellow letters—_Seventh Heaven._

"I love it!" I beamed. "And I haven't even gone inside yet!"

"Then what are we waiting for?" Wedge laughed.

I followed the guys up the stairs. There was just something so nice and inviting about the place. Like it welcomed you with open arms. No wonder there were people crowded around it, and probably more once we got inside. It looked pretty busy, but I didn't mind. It would be good to just sit and relax for a while.

* * *

When we got inside the _Seventh Heaven,_ we sat down at one of the polished wooden tables near the front. In the back was the bar itself. It stretched most of the way across, with the kitchen off to the right and a door leading upstairs in between. A row of stools, most of them taken, sat in front of the bar, and most of the other tables were occupied, too. There were a few neon signs, a TV in one corner, a jukebox, and a few pinball machines along the right side of the room. Music and talk filled the air along with the clinking of glasses.

Biggs waved to someone behind the bar, and a moment later, a girl who looked to be about eighteen came over to see us. A lot of the guys in the room watched her as she moved, and I could see why. She was a knockout with her long legs, black leather miniskirt, teardrop earrings, sleeveless gray top, and rich, dark brown hair that fell past her waist. It was tied into a cute fishtail at the end. She also wore a pair of soft boots as well as fingerless gloves made of red leather.

The girl also had a bust that was like a magnet to the guys' eyes. I'd always been fine with my own modest assets and the looks they would sometimes draw from guys, but they didn't compare to what she had. It amazed me, though, how well she handled the attention. Lots of looks, but no one tried to grope her no matter how drunk they were. Some of the men inevitably tried to hit on her as she went by, but she would just smile and move on with barely a word.

"Hi, guys!" she said when she came over. "Glad you could make it! Looks like you brought a new friend tonight."

Biggs nodded. "Yep! Sure did!"

I stood up and offered my hand. "I'm Jessie Rasberry."

"Tifa Lockhart," she shook it and smiled.

I returned it, liking her immediately. "Nice to meet you, Tifa. I just got into town today. Met these two guys a little while ago and did some cat wrangling. It's been fun!"

Tifa blinked. "Cat wrangling?"

"My babies ran away," Wedge explained sheepishly. "But Jessie and Biggs helped me find 'em and take 'em home."

"That's one way to make new friends," she chuckled.

I sat back down. "Brought us together!"

Tifa smirked. "Maybe they did, at that. So anyway, how about I get you all something to drink?"

"Sounds good!" Biggs answered.

I agreed. "Yeah! Can't wait to try some of your cooking, too. I hear it's the best in town."

Wedge flashed her a thumbs up. "Definitely!"

Tifa patted his shoulder. "Didn't waste any time, did you?"

"Hey, she was hungry," he grinned. "Asked us if we knew any good places to eat around here."

"And yours was at the top of the list," Biggs said.

Tifa laughed. "I bet it is. Anyway, you won't be disappointed, Jessie. So just kick back, take a look at the menu, and let me know what you'd like to have, okay? Be back in a few!"

After taking our drink orders, she slipped back behind the bar, and I chatted with Biggs and Wedge. They were, as I'd thought, both in the neighborhood watch. Wedge had grown up here, apparently, and Biggs had moved here about a month ago just like Lena had told me, though he'd been visiting frequently for nearly a year before that. The guys had become best friends during that time, which didn't surprise me one bit. They must've been inseparable.

Tifa brought us our drinks a few minutes later and stuck around to talk with us for a moment or two before she had to go see to the rest of her customers. But it was more than enough for me to compliment her on the liquor—something called a Cosmo Canyon.

It was _really_ good, and I was beginning to see why this place was so popular. When she came back with our food a little while later, though, I was truly amazed. The guys hadn't been kidding when they'd praised her cooking. It was way better than I'd been expecting.

"This is incredible!" I told her as I ate.

Tifa smiled. "You like it?"

That was an understatement. "I've been to fancy restaurants on the plate—I used to live there, actually—but as good as the food was, yours just blows it away! I mean it!"

The steak I'd had back at Stephen's Restaurant on my first date with Kunsel had been delicious, but the one Tifa had cooked for me made it seem like a drunken fry up in comparison. The flavors just popped like nothing I'd ever tasted before. It was amazing!

"What'd I tell ya?" Wedge beamed, his mouth full.

"Thanks, Jessie," Tifa said. "I'm glad you're enjoying it. Eat as much as you want, there's plenty more."

Biggs chuckled. "I think you've got a new fan, Tifa!"

"You're damn right!" I smirked.

"Oh, you haven't seen anything yet," Wedge told me between bites. "Just wait 'till dessert! Her double chocolate cake is _so_ awesome! You've _gotta_ try it, Jessie. Seriously! It's the best!"

It _did_ sound good. "Put me down for a slice, Tifa."

She nodded. "Will do. Be back soon!"

Then she hurried away again, the crowd keeping her busy as we ate our dinner. As we talked and joked and got to know each other better, I felt us slide into an almost natural rhythm. We teased each other, back and forth, playing off one another almost without effort.

It amazed me how quickly we bonded, the three of us, and the way Biggs and Wedge had just accepted me so warmly despite not knowing much about me made me really happy. For the first time since coming to the slums, I didn't feel lonely anymore.

"Are you seriously having thirds, Wedge?" I giggled.

He grinned as Tifa handed him another plate of hot food. "Yep! It's just so good! And you know what? Tifa always lets me try out her new recipes. Best job in the slums!"

Biggs took a swig of his drink. "You ain't kiddin'!"

"He's actually very good at it," Tifa said. "He'll tell me if something doesn't taste right."

"Doesn't happen often, though," Wedge said.

I believed him. "So where'd you learn to cook, Tifa? I'm impressed. And here I thought the guys were exaggerating!"

"My mom taught me," she smiled. "She was the best."

"I know what you mean," I murmured.

Biggs pushed back his plate. "So, Jessie… what's your plan? Found yourself a place to stay yet?"

"No," I shook my head. "I was planning on looking around for one tomorrow. There's gotta be homes and such for rent around here, right? I'll look for one and see about getting it furnished."

"Why don't you let these guys help you?" Tifa suggested.

Biggs leaned forward in his chair. "Right! Between me and Wedge, there isn't anyone in Sector 7 we don't know, Jessie. We can meet in the morning and help you get all set up."

Wedge lifted his fork. "Just leave it to us!"

"Guess I will," I laughed. "Thanks, guys. Oh, that reminds me, I've gotta go book a room at the inn for the night when we're done here. It's been a long day, but it sure ended well!"

"That might be a problem," Biggs said.

I blinked. "Why?"

He went on. "The inn always fills up fast. Gotta get over there early if you wanna be sure you get a room. Afternoon's usually best. By now, though, it's sure to be all booked up."

"I'm afraid he's right, Jessie," Tifa added.

"What should I do?" I wondered.

She thought for a moment, then took my shoulder. "Tell you what. I've got an extra room upstairs. Been using it for storage, but I _do_ have a nice bed in there. If you don't mind helping me move a few boxes and things later, you're more than welcome to stay here until you get settled into your new place. Sound good?"

"It does, Tifa," I smiled. "Thank you."

Then she nodded and hurried away again, the crowd continuing to keep her busy and on her feet. She came back a bit later with dessert, a little slice of heaven that was every bit as good as Wedge had promised. I have a real weakness for chocolate, and that cake was to die for. I was so full by the time it was all over Tifa would've had to roll me upstairs, but the meal had been worth every bite.

* * *

The guys didn't leave right away. We hung out together at the table for a while as the crowd slowly thinned out. As it did and the night got later, Tifa was able to stop by and see us more often and for longer, and I enjoyed talking with her, too. And when it was finally time for her to close up the bar and we'd said goodnight to Biggs and Wedge, I started stacking chairs to help her out.

"Oh, you don't have to do that," she said.

I chuckled. "I don't mind. You're giving me a roof over my head, so the least I can do is give you a hand in return."

Tifa started sweeping the floor. "Well, thanks, Jessie. I appreciate it. Not used to having much help around here. This place keeps me pretty busy most of the time, you know."

"You own it?" I asked.

"Yep. Inherited it from the previous owner after he left a year ago. I was just a waitress then, trying to make ends meet. It's not much, but it makes me happy to have this little place. And I've got a friend who's the best bouncer you'll ever see."

I grinned. "Really? Must be pretty tough."

Tifa laughed. "He is. Not that I can't take care of myself, too. You'll see once you get to know me. As for Barret, he doesn't work here every night, so that's why you didn't see him. He doesn't have to, though. The crowd's usually pretty good most of the time. And once you meet him, you'll understand why, trust me."

"Looking forward to it," I smirked.

When we were finished cleaning up downstairs, Tifa and I went to the second floor and between us, we got her extra things moved out of the spare bedroom and into her own room and closet. It didn't take too long, and I was getting tired by then. But I figured I'd have a drink first before finally getting some sleep.

Tifa had the same idea, and we both headed back downstairs. I was in the mood for some water, so I just took a glass from the shelf before moving over to the sink. But when I turned on the faucet and the water started streaming out, I backed away in a hurry, curling my nose at the icky smell coming from it. Like badly rotten eggs.

"Whoa!" I coughed. "What's wrong with your water?"

Tifa covered her nose. "Yeah, sorry about that. It's the pipes around here, they're so old and dirty. Happens in other places across the slums, too. I'm a little surprised you haven't run into this kinda thing already. It's the number one complaint around here."

I switched off the faucet and took a closer look at it. "I haven't been down here that long, only about a month or so. And it wasn't so bad in Sector 5. Hmm… you know, if I can find some tools and parts, I think I could put together a filter that would get rid of the smell and clean up your water. Might even make it taste better, too."

"If you could do that, you'd be a lifesaver!" Tifa exclaimed. "Me and my coffee would both thank you. Not to mention the customers. Didn't know you were into that kinda stuff."

"I'm pretty good with gadgets and things, yeah," I said.

She nodded. "Biggs mentioned that to me earlier. Anyway, ready to call it a night, Jessie?"

"In a bit," I told her. "Thought I'd go outside first."

Tifa smiled. "Sounds good to me. Mind if I join you? I could use a bit of fresh air after working all day."

"The more the merrier, as they say," I laughed.

After we walked out on the patio, I moved up to the railing, draped my arms over it, and gazed at Sector 7. Although it was after midnight now, there were still a few people walking about here and there. Lights shone brightly along the dirt roads, and the lines of ramshackle houses and shops sat sleepily together.

I took a deep breath, then let it out. It was nice here, and I thought I could really make a good life for myself in this place. I'd already made some good friends, and I had something I could contribute and do for the people here. I only wished that Kunsel had been there with me. He would've liked it, I knew. It might not have been the high class life we'd had in Sector 8, but we'd have been happy here.

With a sigh, I looked up at the underside of the plate, wondering if he was thinking about me, where he was, and what he was doing. I still missed him, and not a day had gone by since I'd come to the slums that I didn't stare up at the plate at night and think about him. Had it really been a month already? It didn't seem that way. It felt like I had only left yesterday. The hurt was still there, still fresh.

"Something on your mind?" Tifa came up alongside me.

My eyes stayed on the plate. "Just… missing someone, Tifa. Hasn't been an easy road for me."

She looked up at it with me. "The right ones never are."

"I guess that's true," I said.

"Was it… someone special?" she asked.

I rested my hands on the railing. "Yeah. He really was. Made me so happy just to be with him. But… it didn't work out."

"I'm sorry," Tifa touched my shoulder.

Now I did look at her. "Thanks, Tifa. Means a lot."

She smiled. "Anytime. I have someone I think about, too."

"What's he like?" I wondered.

"Well, he was always a little aloof, but deep down, he's really a good guy. You'd like him, Jessie. We were barely more than kids the last time we saw each other. That was about five years ago. Left our village, and I haven't heard from him since."

I managed a quiet laugh. "Childhood friend, eh? That sounds nice. I'm sure you'll see him again someday."

"I hope so," she agreed. "And you too, Jessie."

"Thanks. I'm still getting used to being down here, you know? It's a lot different than where I came from."

Tifa nodded. "I can imagine. But you'll adjust."

I knew I would. "Yeah. So… ever been topside before?"

"Only a little," she answered. "My life and my work are down here, so I don't usually need to go anywhere else. You lived up there, right? I think I remember you mentioning that."

"When I was raving about your cooking," I laughed.

Tifa grinned. "Oh, that's right."

I went on. "It was… a different life. Not ready to say much about it yet, though. Maybe another time."

"Of course," Tifa said. "I understand."

We talked for a while longer as the night went on. Ordinary things like what her work was like, my hopes and plans for my life in Sector 7, how one of Wedge's cats had found me when I had first arrived in town and had led me to him and Biggs, and how Tifa had met them over the course of her time here, among other things.

"You've known Wedge longer, right?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said. "He grew up here, and I've lived in Sector 7 for the past three years. He's been my most loyal customer, too!"

I chuckled. "I'll bet. And Biggs?"

"On and off over the past year. You probably know this already, but he used to live in Sector 5 until recently."

"His little sister and I are friends, actually," I told her.

Tifa smirked. "Well, you've got one up on me, then. I've never met her. Biggs talks about her all the time, though."

He'd shared a few amusing stories about her at dinner, and we had all ended up laughing by the end of them. I'd had no idea she'd been so headstrong and impetuous as a kid, although now that I thought about it, I wasn't so surprised. She'd volunteered for the watch despite being a year too young, and she'd gone off on her own to look out for me while I was on my way here to Sector 7.

"I noticed," I said. "Didn't say much about why he moved, though. Change of scenery, maybe?"

"Sort of," Tifa ran a hand through her hair.

I blinked. "Do you know?"

"Me, Barret, and Wedge have been doing some… business together lately. And Biggs wanted in. Being over here with us makes it easier for him to do that than if he'd stayed in Sector 5."

"What kind of business?" I wondered, curious.

She shook her head. "It's nothing you need to worry about."

I nodded. "Okay. Hope it works out for you guys."

"Thanks, Jessie," she murmured. "So do I."

I straightened and stretched for a moment, ready now to get to bed and snooze. I had another long day ahead of me, but this one promised to be a good and productive one, if all went well. I was excited at what I had ahead of me, finding my own home and building my business and life here, and I knew with the guys helping me, it'd be a lot of fun. Hard work, of course, but fun as well.

"Heading in?" Tifa stretched as well.

"Yep, I think I'm about ready to crash now," I yawned with a laugh. "That bed's calling me by name, I think. Got a lot to do tomorrow, and I'll see if I can get that filter made for you, too."

Tifa slid an arm around my shoulder. "I'd really appreciate that. In the meantime, though, how about we get some sleep? Bar doesn't open until late in the afternoon, but there's always a lot of prep work that I've gotta do in the meantime. Never ends."

"Won't get any argument from me," I chuckled.

As Tifa let go and pulled opened one of the swinging double doors, she glanced over her shoulder at me. "And Jessie?"

"Yeah, Tifa?" I asked.

She smiled. "Welcome home."


	25. TWENTY-FOUR

**TWENTY-FOUR**

"Alright," I said. "Give it a try."

As I scooted out from under the sink, Tifa took a glass from one of the cabinets while Biggs and Wedge watched from the other side of the bar in breathless anticipation. After meeting them outside a few hours ago early this morning, I had let them guide me to the market district, where I'd bought myself a nice new set of tools in one of the shops that sat along the main road. It was bigger and more expansive than the one Reeve had given me and came in a nice black case.

Gathering the parts to make a filter had taken longer, and we'd had to do some scrounging in the junk piles for that. But those places were a treasure trove to me and a useful place to find supplies—I'd done my share of scavenging back in Sector 5 to find materials for my repairs, so I was used to it by then. The ones in Sector 7 had a lot more to choose from and look through, and I was starting to realize that different parts of the slums had different goodies to find.

Biggs and Wedge were such a great help, showing me the largest of the scrap piles and all the ones that had the best loot. We spent half the morning searching for parts and things I could turn into parts—being a scavenger meant making do with whatever you could find, and I was very good at taking discarded pieces of metal, plastic, or anything else I could get and making them into useful components like valves or filter tubes. The guys and I found everything I needed.

Once we had enough, we brought it all back to the _Seventh Heaven_ and got to work. The place didn't open until later in the day, so we had it all to ourselves. Tifa and the guys watched in fascination as I got out my new tools and started putting the filter and its parts together. They handed me different things when I needed them and found other ways to help, and now it was time for the big test.

I stood up as Tifa came back over to the sink with the glass. When she turned it on and the water started pouring out, we all smiled. That rotten egg smell was gone! So far, so good. But there was still one more part of the test. I couldn't help feeling a little nervous, but I did my best not to show it, hiding it behind a practiced, confident grin as Tifa filled up the glass with water. I almost laughed when I realized the guys and I were practically holding our breath.

Tifa's eyes widened when she drank some. "Oh, wow! It's amazing! Totally different! Jessie, give it a try!"

"Now _this_ is good water!" I beamed as I took a sip.

"Hey, what about us?" Wedge asked.

Biggs gulped some down after I handed him the glass. "Damn! It's like night and day! Totally awesome!"

"Oh, you're right!" Wedge went next. "This is _so_ good!"

Tifa chuckled. "Want some more, guys?"

Biggs grinned. "Hell yeah!"

Taking the glass back, she put it down for a minute, then got three others from the cabinet. After that, she and I filled them all up one at a time, a glass for each of us. Once the guys had theirs and we had ours, I lifted mine in a little toast.

"To clean water and good friends," I said.

"Hear, hear!" Biggs agreed.

After sharing a laugh and clinking our glasses together, we all took a good, long drink of that wonderful water. I don't think I ever enjoyed a glass more in my life. Maybe it was the company, and the fact that I'd been able to do something good for my new friends.

Tifa lifted her glass again and smiled. "To Jessie, for getting us that clean water. May it never run dry."

"To Jessie," Biggs agreed.

"Jessie," Wedge echoed, raising his glass, too.

I blushed. "You guys… thanks. Just glad I could help."

"No problem!" Wedge beamed.

I went on after we all took another drink. "That filter should work for a good long while, but I'll have to replace it eventually. All the stuff slowly builds up inside, you know."

Tifa nodded. "Right. The guys were telling me about your business earlier. You might want to consider adding this to it."

"Definitely!" Biggs agreed. "People around here hate how the water is, and they'll love what you can do for them. You could make a killing making and selling filters for everyone."

"You really think so?" I asked.

Wedge gave me a thumbs up. "Oh, you bet! Biggs and I'll sing your praises up and down the streets. Everyone in Sector 7'll know who you are by the time we're through."

Tifa helped herself to some more water. "And I'm definitely gonna tell all my customers who fixed up the water and made it taste so good. Think you can put a filter upstairs, too?"

"Yeah, no problem," I said. "For your bathroom?"

"Right. It'll be nice to actually feel clean again, you know? I bet lots of people would be happy to have some of your filters for that, too. No more feeling oily and dusty all the time!"

Biggs's eyes lit up. "Tell me about it! Sign me up, Jessie!"

"Sure thing, Biggs," I laughed.

"He's a bit of a clean freak," Wedge grinned. "Not just with himself, but you should see his place. It's spotless!"

I knew the feeling. "I'm the exact same way."

"So what do you think?" Tifa asked. "About our idea?"

"I think it's time Rasberry Repair Services expanded into the water filtration business!" I smirked.

"Yeah!" Biggs and Wedge cheered.

* * *

A few days later, I found myself a place to live. It was a small house down the road from the bar, close to the edge of town. Not much more than a shack, really, but even though it was small, it felt cozy somehow. Only one room, really, aside from the bathroom. A faded blanket hung from the ceiling and separated the two instead of a door. Inside was the toilet, sink, and even a small tub with a shower head. I couldn't wait to install a filter here so I could take a nice, hot bath.

There was also a small kitchen in one corner of the main room. No dishwasher, but there was a fridge, stove, oven, and several cabinets. A few shelves set into the wall nearby would be my pantry. But I couldn't really move in until I had the place all furnished and stocked up. And I also had more filters to make. So I was pretty busy. I picked up supplies in the market district and scoured the junk piles for old furniture that I could salvage, fix up, clean, and polish.

Biggs and Wedge were always there and more than willing to help, and they were pretty handy, especially for moving the heavier stuff. We found a nice, full-sized mattress for my bed and a few long iron beams I was able to make into the frame. I still had my mini blowtorch, so all I had to really do was cut them to size and weld the pieces together. We also found a small wooden table and a few chairs to go with it. Some of the legs were wobbly, but I fixed them easily enough.

"Okay, guys," I said. "Easy does it."

It was the big day, and Biggs and Wedge were carrying the heavier furniture inside for me, including the dresser we'd come across just this morning. It wasn't actually that big, but it was solid, polished wood and had several drawers. Of course, before we could bring it or the rest into the house, it had all had to be cleaned and sanitized. But between Biggs and I, that hadn't been a problem at all.

He backed into the house with the dresser. "Okay, Jessie. Where do you want this sucker to go?"

"Right over there," I pointed to the wall nearby.

"Got it," Biggs grunted. "You heard her, buddy. Let's get to it."

Wedge nodded. "Right. Lead the way!"

Between them, they got the dresser in place right where I had told them while I finished stocking the kitchen and bathroom. Then, while they took a breather and wiped the sweat from their brows, I got them each a drink before putting my clothes away in the dresser. I'd bought a few new outfits, and I still had that black dress I'd worn the night I had first come down to the slums. I wondered if I'd ever wear it again. With a sigh, I hung it up in my little closet.

It took most of the day to get everything moved in, and it was dark by the time we were finally finished. We all stood inside, smiling as we looked at the little place that was my new home. It felt good to have my own place again, and when I went to pick up my gray backpack off the bed and put it in the closet, something fell out, clattering to the floor. A lump formed in my throat when I picked it up.

It was a small, framed picture of Mom. Reeve must've packed it for me, but I hadn't known it was there until now. I hadn't gone through all the pockets on my backpack until today, though. It must've been in one of those smaller ones on the outside and I had simply missed it earlier. I gently picked up the picture and gazed at it for a moment as I blinked away a few tears. I still missed her so much.

"Who's that?" Wedge wondered.

I carefully set the picture on my dresser. "My mom. She died."

Biggs laid a hand on my shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze, then he and Wedge simply nodded. They didn't say anything, but they didn't have to. They knew. They just stood there with me, quiet for a moment as I sniffled a little. Then I wiped my eyes, took a breath, and wrapped an arm around each of their shoulders.

"Thanks for all your help, guys," I said. "For everything."

"No problem," Biggs smiled.

Wedge shot me a thumbs up. "You bet!"

I laughed and gave them a squeeze of my own. "Well, now that I'm finally moved in, how about we all have something to eat? And I know the perfect way to break in my new kitchen!"

"How?" Wedge asked eagerly.

"Pizza!" I grinned. "Sound good, guys?"

His eyes lit right up. "You bet! It's only one of my favorite things in the whole wide world, Jessie!"

"That's a great idea!" Biggs agreed.

I chuckled. "Awesome! I think it's time to introduce you boys to the Midgar Special! You'll love it!"

Wedge rubbed his hands together. "Oh, I can't wait!"

I had already bought all the ingredients when I'd done my grocery shopping earlier to get my kitchen stocked, so we got right to it. While the guys made themselves at home and relaxed, I got right to work, the clattering of the pan and dishes music to my ears. I hadn't cooked very much since coming to the slums—Aerith and Elmyra had usually done all of that when I'd been staying with them, though I'd helped a little at times—and I found I had missed it.

Before long, the lovely aromas of pepperoni, red milly, black shelly, mushrooms, and more filled the air in my little house. The guys got up and set the table while I was busy cooking, so by the time the pizza was done, everything else was already good to go. With Biggs and Wedge in the chairs and me on the edge of the bed, we dug in. It was really good, and I enjoyed the company as much as the food.

"So what do you think?" I asked in between bites.

"Delithious!" Wedge beamed, his mouth more than full as he took another slice from the pan.

Biggs agreed. "Best damn pizza I've ever had!"

As we ate, we talked, joked, and just relaxed together for a while. It had been a long day of work and moving in, but also a good one. After we were done, the boys both helped me with the washing up, and once it was finished, we all hung out for a bit until it had gotten dark outside my window. Then they left, thanking me for the pizza as I walked them out the door and waved goodbye.

Later that night, after I'd changed out of my daytime gear and into a comfy pair of white pajama bottoms and a blue T-shirt, I unfastened my ponytail, took out the extensions for now, and let it fall free around my shoulders. It was almost long enough. Maybe another month or so. As I switched off the lights, slid under the covers, and laid down in my new bed, I let out a contented sigh. After weeks of staying with others, I finally had my own home again.

* * *

True to their word, Biggs and Wedge spread the news about me all across town while Tifa frequently mentioned me to her customers. So I soon had all kinds of work. Tech repairs, building and installing filters, and even some basic computer maintenance services. As time went on and the weeks passed, I also started expanding the water side of things to include small irrigation systems for people's gardens. It wasn't much different from the filters, really. Just bigger.

At first, I worked out of my house when I wasn't on-site at a client's home or business, often doing everything at my little table from repairs to assembling filters and computer parts. But thanks to my friends and my hard work, both my business and my reputation grew so fast that I could barely keep up. I knew I'd have to find a bigger space before long with all the clients and jobs I was getting. I just hadn't had time to start looking yet what with how busy I was.

Luckily, Biggs and Wedge were right on top of it. Those wonderful guys had already been scouting out places around town for me without telling me. When they stopped by the house one day to visit after I had come home from a job, I thought we'd just hang out like we usually did and maybe stop by _Seventh Heaven_ for dinner. We did that a lot, and it was always a great way to end the day.

"So, Jessie, you up for a walk?" Biggs asked.

I nodded. "Sure. We going anywhere in particular?"

Wedge winked. "You'll see."

"Okay, guys, what's going on?" I smirked. "I can tell you two are up to something. It's not my birthday—that's in August—so mind spilling the beans? Or are ya gonna keep me in suspense?"

Biggs chuckled. "Got somethin' to show ya. You'll like it."

"Well then, lead the way!" I laughed.

I followed him and Wedge a short distance down the road, then we turned onto a side street a few minutes later. When we came to a large building made of wood beams and corrugated metal sheets, I didn't see why we were here at first. It was bigger than my house, but still smaller than the bar. No one lived or worked here as far as I knew. As we stood in front of the door, I looked at the empty building and wondered why Biggs and Wedge had brought me to this place. There didn't seem to be anything special or unusual about it.

"Okay, boys, I'll bite," I said. "What are we looking at?"

Biggs grinned. "Your new shop."

My eyes widened. "My new… what did you say?"

"Your new shop!" Wedge beamed. "Biggs and I've been working on it for the past couple weeks ever since we heard the place was vacant. It took a little while, but now it's finally ready!"

"Care to do the honors?" Biggs handed me the keys.

I took them. "You bet!"

When I had unlocked the door and we went inside, I stopped for a minute and looked around. Just ahead of me sat a long, L-shaped desk with a cushioned, wheeled black office chair behind it and a gray metal filing cabinet over in the corner. A paper tray for my order forms and a pencil cup sat neatly on the desk, and lining the walls were solid wood shelves. They were empty for now, but there was plenty of space for all my supplies and any devices I'd be repairing.

Biggs smiled. "So, what do you think, Jessie?"

"I think it's great!" I exclaimed. "It's just what I need!"

"Hey, check this out!" Wedge said. He was holding a large iron sign in both hands. "Biggs and I made it for you. We'll hang it over the door. Got your business name on it and everything!"

I gasped. "A sign? For me?"

Biggs clapped my shoulder. "And that ain't all, Jessie! There's even a little garage in the back. Perfect for storage, tinkering, or whatever else you wanna do. All clean and ready to go."

"Oh, guys…" I blinked back sudden tears as I beckoned to him and Wedge. "Get your asses over here, you two."

Smiling, they did, and when they were close enough, I pulled them both into a tight hug. And as we stood there together, our arms around each other, I was so overcome I couldn't find my voice at first. I'd found my two best friends, and I knew that whatever happened, they'd always be there for me. And I'd be there for them.

Finally, I let go. "Thanks so much, you guys."

"Anytime," Wedge said.

"You're welcome," Biggs nodded. "Knew you'd be needing a bigger place, so we got right on it."

I wiped my eyes. "You sure did…"

Wedge looked from me to Biggs. "Tri-five?"

At first, neither of us understood. But then, when Wedge lifted his hand above and in front of him, Biggs and I both got it. We raised ours a moment later, and then after glancing at each other and nodding, we all slapped our hands together in a three-way high five, laughing at the end of it. It felt great, and so did I.

"So what now?" Biggs asked. "It's getting late."

"Dinner at _Seventh Heaven?"_ Wedge asked hopefully.

I grinned. "Why not?"

"Now that's a plan!" Biggs agreed.

After we went outside, I locked the door, then slid one arm around Biggs and the other around Wedge as we walked down the road side by side. I felt theirs wrap around me, too. The sun was just going down as we turned onto the main street and headed toward the bar, still arm in arm. I looked first at Biggs and then Wedge, and finally straight ahead again, smiling with my head held high.

"You know, guys," I chuckled, squeezing them both, "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

* * *

I met Barret and Marlene that night. They were sitting there at one end of the bar when Biggs, Wedge, and I went into the _Seventh Heaven._ Tifa motioned for us to join them, so we made our way over while she kept working. It was busy tonight, a decent-sized crowd, and I noticed that Barret kept a watchful eye on everyone. But not once did anybody cause any trouble. One look at him told me why.

He was huge, dark-skinned, and muscular, with a black beard and short buzzed hair. Olive pants, tough brown boots, a thick leather belt, and a sleeveless brown vest with a high collar over a black tank top. He also had a brown leather bracer over his left forearm. The flaming skull tattoo on his upper left arm was pretty cool, too.

But when I saw his other arm, I couldn't help staring. I didn't mean to, it was just so unusual I couldn't help it. Scary and fascinating at the same time. Barret didn't have a forearm or hand on that side. Instead, a large gatling gun had been grafted on below the elbow. I'd seen a few of them during my time at Shinra working for Scarlet, but I'd never heard of one being attached to someone before. Although I wondered how he had lost his arm, I knew better than to ask.

He had a little girl sitting on his lap, only two years old and cute as a button with her short, dark red hair and pink dress. With her skin as fair and light as mine, I could tell she must've been adopted. As fondly as Barret looked at her, though, I knew it didn't matter one bit. I had to close my eyes for a moment when I saw them as bittersweet memories from my early childhood rose up in my mind, those days when I hadn't been too much older than Marlene was now.

My own father had still had a little warmth in him back then, time to spend with his little daughter. He had never played with me, but he'd spoiled me rotten, getting me just about anything I wanted. I'd had him wrapped around my finger for a while, but as I had gotten older and he had risen up through the ranks at Shinra, we had drifted apart. I think I was eight or nine when I stopped calling him Daddy. Things between him and Mom had already gotten strained by then.

I've only thought of him as my father ever since. As his power had grown over the years, he had kept more and more to himself. It was all that mattered to him anymore. To him, Mom and I had been a burden, and he had resented us for it. It was still hard to believe sometimes that he had actually killed her and had tried to do the same to me. But… he had. I hated him, and I hated feeling that way about my own father. But after all he'd done, I couldn't feel any differently.

"Hi, Jessie!" Tifa smiled at me from behind the bar. "This is Barret, and the cute one on his lap is Marlene, his daughter. We met just a few months before you first came here, though he's been in Midgar almost as long as I have. Want something to drink?"

I nodded. "Sure, Tifa. A Cosmo Canyon would be great."

Barret scratched his chin as he looked at me. "So, you the one that fixed up the water 'round here, right? Tifa was tellin' me 'bout you. Not a bad bita work you did there, girl."

"Thanks," I said. I held out my right hand without thinking. "Nice to meet—oh, I'm sorry, I didn't—"

He smiled and shook it with his good hand. "Ah, don't worry 'bout it. I know I ain't like mosta the people 'round here. An' you didn't mean no harm by it. Good to meetcha, Jessie."

I chuckled. "You too, Barret. Marlene's just adorable."

"She is, ain't she?" he laughed, then gazed at her. "Hey, sweetie. Go on an' say hi to Jessie. She's our new friend."

Marlene looked at me with wide, curious brown eyes as she sucked contentedly on her thumb, a doll held firmly in her other hand. At first she didn't say anything, but I knew she was just being shy, so I just gave her a little wave. But then, when I sat down on the stool beside her and Barret, she pulled her thumb out of her mouth.

"Hi…" she said.

I smiled. "Hi, Marlene. Nice to meet you!"

Biggs came over then, a drink in his hand and Wedge right behind him. "Hey, boss. How's it goin'?"

"Boss?" I blinked.

"We, uh… we been doin' some business together," Barret said. "Me, the guys, an' Tifa. Local stuff."

Biggs glanced at me. "Yep, and he's the boss."

I nodded, remembering now. "Oh, right. Tifa was telling me about that. What sort of business?"

"Mostly I jus' hand out flyers for the watch," Barret explained. "You might've seen 'em on the billboards 'round town, too. Recruitment stuff an' all that. Then there's the bouncer gig I do here. Pretty easy job most days. Usually ain't no one dumb enough to try any stupid shit when I'm here. An' Tifa can handle things when I'm not."

She brought me my drink. "I always do. Never hurts to have a little backup sometimes, though."

"So what's the rest?" I wondered.

Biggs looked at Wedge and Barret, then me. "Uh, well…"

Barret shook his head. "Not yet, guys. Jessie's still new 'round here. Give her some time. I need to get to know her, too. Then we'll see 'bout takin' the next step. You got it?"

"Right, boss," Wedge agreed. Biggs added a thumbs up.

"I don't understand," I blinked.

Tifa gently took my hand. "We know, Jessie. And we're sorry about that. It's just… we have to be careful, is all."

"It's okay," I said. "I can wait."

Barret took a gulp of his drink. "Thanks, Jessie. From hearin' 'bout you an' all you been doin' for everyone, I've had me an idea. Still gonna think it over for a while, though. But there is one thing I wanna ask ya first. How do ya feel 'bout Shinra?"

I didn't have to think about it. "I hate them, Barret. They… they've taken a lot from me. So many things…"

"I know what that's like, believe me," he said, laying his good hand on my shoulder. "Them greedy bastards've hurt me an' Marlene as well as you. I'm real sorry for what they done to ya."

"Thanks, Barret," I smiled.

He went on. "Might be I've got a chance for you to get back at 'em, make 'em pay for all the pain they've caused ya. Don't worry 'bout it for now, though. I still gotta think it over for a while. But I'll let you know when I've made up my mind, awright?"

I nodded, grateful for the unexpected opportunity he was offering me. "Sure. And I'd be glad to thank Shinra for what they've done to me, if you know what I mean. Very glad."

"Good," Barret said. "That's jus' what I wanted to hear."


	26. TWENTY-FIVE

**TWENTY-FIVE**

Three months after I had moved to Sector 7—four since I'd left the plate and my old life behind—things were going well for me. Work was great, and word about me and what I did both with the tech repair and water filtration had started to spread all over the slums. And that's how my almost daily trips began.

To help with those, I scavenged more parts and materials from the scrap piles, brought them to my shop, and made a wheeled cart to hold all the tools and equipment I'd need to take with me each day. I found a crate that would fit in it, too. Useful for holding stuff and keeping it all neat and organized. The cart was light enough that I could just push it along as I walked, but it was also pretty sturdy.

My trips took me not only back to Sector 5, but even as far away as Sectors 1 and 2. I guess I was famous again, just in a different way than before. I didn't mind, though, and it felt good to be able to help people every day and put smiles on their faces. I stayed well away from Sector 6 and Wall Market, though. Didn't really get any calls from there, but I felt it was safer to keep my distance after having pissed off Don Corneo the way I had. I knew he wouldn't forget about it.

Anyway, I had stopped by _Seventh Heaven_ for lunch one afternoon when I saw the guys in there. Apparently, they'd had the same idea, and I waved to them and smiled when they saw me. Biggs and Wedge were almost finished, their plates all but empty as they talked, and I was just walking over to join them when I stopped as I realized what they were talking and teasing each other about.

"You're dreamin', buddy!" Biggs chuckled. "Cassie Raleine's cute an' all, but she ain't got nothin' on Jessie Jae."

Wedge shook his head. "Have you seen Cassie on TV?"

Biggs rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Doesn't mean she's hotter, though."

"There they go again," Tifa laughed, joining me.

I looked at her. "They do this a lot?"

She grinned. "All the time. They're always debating with each other about which LOVELESS girl is the most attractive."

"Have you seen the play?" I asked.

"No, but I've heard about it," she answered. "You?"

I giggled. "Ah, well… I'd have to say yes…"

Tifa blinked. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing!" I said, my eyes twinkling.

I didn't really mind if my friends figured out I was Jessie Jae, it was just kinda funny hearing them talking about her without even knowing it was me. Especially the guys. And as I listened to them, I had an idea. Something to reveal who I was and have a little bit of fun with them at the same time. I was actually a bit surprised they hadn't connected the dots on their own already by now. But I knew that once they did, they'd keep my secret safe. I trusted them.

Tifa raised an eyebrow. "Nothing?"

"Yep!" I said. "Oh, mind if I grab a bite to eat while I'm here? Gotta refuel before I get back to work."

She smiled. "Not at all! Have a seat, Jessie!"

I went over to see the guys as she headed behind the bar to get me a drink. "Hi, boys! How's the watch treatin' ya?"

"Same as always," Biggs said. "Took out some eaters today."

Wedge polished off his burger. "And two wererats."

I smirked. "What a challenge, huh?"

"Hey, it's a living," Biggs said, taking a swig of his beer. "Sure as hell beats a lot of other jobs in the slums."

"I'll bet. So what were you talking about before?"

He shrugged. "Ah, nothin'. Just guy stuff. Probably wouldn't interest you, Jessie. Uh, no offense."

I winked. "None taken. Try me."

"Well…" Wedge blushed. "Just, um… talking about girls."

"Ooh, is there one you're sweet on?" I teased.

He looked away in a hurry. "N-No!"

Biggs snorted. "Like hell there isn't! I saw the way you were lookin' at Lena when she stopped by last week."

"Awww, how cute!" I gave Wedge a playful punch.

"Cut it out, guys!" he mumbled.

Biggs went on. "He could barely get two words out to her, the poor sap. He's got it bad, I tell ya."

I chuckled. "Poor Wedge…"

"Hey!" he said. "You guys done embarrassing me?"

"Sure, we'll leave ya alone," I laughed, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. "For now, anyway."

Biggs lifted his glass. "Yep! Cheers, buddy."

Wedge chuckled. "Thanks. We were just talking about LOVELESS, by the way. That big musical, you know?"

"I'm familiar with it," I smirked. "What about it?"

Biggs ran a hand through his hair. "Ah, well… we were just talking about which of the lead actresses we, uh… like. Actually scored tickets and saw it about nine months ago. Can't say as I know too much about theater, but it was a good show. Wasn't it, Wedge?"

He nodded. "Yeah, it was great!"

"Have you ever seen it?" Biggs asked me.

"Oh, you could say that," I answered casually. I wanted to burst out laughing, though. "Lots of times."

Biggs grinned. "Still have the flyer, actually."

"Carries it with him all the time," Wedge said. "He's had a crush on Jessie Jae ever since he saw the show."

I nearly choked on the drink Tifa brought me. "W-What?"

"Hey!" Biggs frowned at him.

"Show her the flyer!" Wedge urged him.

He shook his head. "I dunno…"

I winked. "C'mon, Biggs. Whip that sucker out!"

"Guess it can't hurt…" he sighed.

While he reached into his pocket and pulled out the flyer, I started humming one of the songs I'd sung as Sarah when I'd been on stage. As I did, I thought of those days, missing them so much. Being under the lights, seeing the emotion on people's faces as they watched the show. It had made me happy to be able to move them.

Wedge blinked. "Jessie?"

"Oh, don't mind me," I said.

"Well, here it is," Biggs laid the flyer on the table. It was me, but he and Wedge hadn't realized it yet, as different as I looked in that photo. I leaned closer, projecting an air of curiosity that wasn't entirely an act. I wanted to see if the guys would be able to figure it out.

I gazed at the picture of myself. "Hmm… nice. Did you ever get an autograph, Biggs?"

"No," he said. "We had nosebleed seats. Way in the back."

Of course I knew he hadn't. I couldn't quite keep a straight face as I went on. "Bet you'd have liked to, though."

He sighed. "In my dreams…"

"Well, you know what they say," I chuckled. "Sometimes they really do come true. You never know…"

"Maybe, if I ever—"

Biggs froze when he saw what I did next. I took the flyer, turned it over, got a pen out of my belt pouch, and signed it with a little flourish. As Jessie Jae. Wedge's mouth hung open, and Biggs' eyes went wide. As I put the pen away, I slid the flyer back over to him.

He stared at me. "Why'd you do that?"

"Do what?" I asked innocently.

"Sign the flyer," Wedge answered. "What gives?"

I sipped my drink. "Well, Biggs _did_ say he wanted an autograph. So I gave him one. I hope he likes it."

Then I sat back in my seat and sang softly, still knowing the words by heart after all this time. I did the first few lines of Sarah's ballad, the one I figured the guys would probably know best. Tifa froze on the way back to our table, her mouth falling open.

"That was beautiful…" she murmured when I was finished.

I smiled. "Thanks, Tifa. It's been a while since I've done that. Guess I can still hit those notes, though. Oh, and I think I'll have one of your famous cheesesteak subs. But hold the onions."

Biggs looked down at the photo on the flyer, then back at me, then the photo again before his eyes—even wider than before—went back to me again. Wedge just looked at us in confusion. He hadn't gotten it yet, but Biggs was finally starting to see it.

"No way…" he breathed.

I clasped my hands together and grinned. "Surprise!"

Biggs' jaw dropped. _"You're_ Jessie Jae?"

"Yep!" I said. "Well, I used to be. Until I came down here. Now I'm just plain old Jessie Rasberry."

"Whoa…" Wedge gaped. "It's really you…"

I giggled. "Took you guys long enough to figure it out!"

Tifa laughed. "Well, celebrity or not, you're still our Jessie. But you know, I've always loved that song. They still play it on the radio. Maybe you could sing the rest for us sometime."

"Private concert, huh?" I winked. "Sounds like fun!"

"Still can't believe it…" Biggs stared.

I decided I'd have be a little more convincing, so I stood up, walked away from the table to give myself some space, then performed a scene from LOVELESS' third act. Sarah had a long monologue in that part of the play, and I did the whole thing. I was actually kinda surprised I still remembered it so well. But it had become such a part of who I was that I suppose it was ingrained in me by then.

Tifa and Wedge applauded me when I was done, but Biggs just sat there, stunned as I took a bow. Must've come as a bit of a shock to him to find out I was a big star once upon a time. And not just that, but one he admired. I just hoped it wouldn't make things awkward between us. He was a good friend, and I didn't want that.

"Why didn't you tell us?" he asked.

"It's just not something I talk about much," I answered. "Sorry. I'm used to keeping it secret. I've got my reasons."

Tifa walked over to me. "But you don't mind us knowing?"

"I trust you guys," I said.

"We won't tell anybody, if that's what you want," she said. Biggs and Wedge nodded their agreement.

I smiled. "I appreciate it. But it's okay if Barret knows."

"He doesn't really follow theater, but I'm sure he'll get a kick out of it when he finds out," Tifa laughed.

"Man, all those stories, and here she is!" Wedge gushed.

I blinked. "What stories?"

Biggs gazed at me. "You don't know, do you?"

"Know what?" I wondered.

"Ever since you disappeared off the plate this past fall, people have come up with all kinds of theories about what happened," he explained. "You just up and vanished one night after doing a show. Some say there was gunfire in the street, but no one knows for sure."

I shivered at the memory. "I do."

"There was, wasn't there?" Biggs said.

"Yeah," I admitted. "But I'd rather not talk about it."

Tifa took my shoulder. "It's okay. You don't have to tell us any more than you want to, Jessie."

"Thanks, Tifa," I said. "That means a lot to me."

Biggs nodded. "And if you're in some kinda trouble, we've got your back. So don't you worry."

Wedge gave me a thumbs up. "What he said!"

"You guys are the best," I grinned. "So anyway, what kinda theories have you heard about what happened to me? I don't follow the news all that much, at least about me, so I didn't have a clue this was even going on. I'm kinda curious about it, actually."

He rubbed his chin. "Hmm… well, there's the one where you were kidnapped by ninjas from Wutai out to get back at Shinra for losing the war. Then there's another rumor that says Don Corneo fell in love with you and had his men bring you to Wall Market to be his bride. That's a newer one that's making the rounds."

"Eww, no thanks," I chuckled. "Next?"

Biggs took over. "There's another one that seems pretty interesting, Jessie. You've heard of General Heidegger, right? The director of Peace Preservation at Shinra?"

A burst of anger flared up in me at the mention of my father, but I hid it behind a mask of curiosity and nonchalance. Even so, my fingers twitched, and I barely avoided making a fist. Although my voice was as calm as could be, my blood boiled.

"Yeah," I answered. "I know who he is."

"Well, the theory says Jessie Jae's really his runaway daughter. She's been missing too, and for longer. Nobody seems to know why they'd be the same woman, it's just that they both disappeared within a few years of each other and were around the same age."

I froze. "Do people believe it?"

Biggs shrugged. "Dunno. Some do, some don't, I guess."

"What about you?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Sounds plausible, but without more than just a few similarities to go on, I wouldn't bet on it."

I relaxed as relief filled me. "Probably a good idea."

"Here you go, Jessie," Tifa brought me my lunch. Then she smiled. "You know, my favorite story about you is the one where you and your true love got tired of all the fame and attention, ran away from Midgar that night, and eloped. Now you're living a quiet, happy life together in someplace like Kalm under different names."

"Oh, I like that one!" I laughed. "Sounds nice!"

Wedge stared at me in wonder. "And to think, we've got the answer to the mystery sitting right in front of us…"

Biggs nudged his shoulder. "Hey! Lay off, will ya?"

"Huh?" he blinked.

"She told us she doesn't wanna talk about it," Biggs reminded him. "So just leave her be, buddy."

Wedge's eyes widened. "Oh, sorry! I forgot!"

"You're forgiven," I smirked.

"And on that note, we'd better be going," Biggs said. "Gotta stop by the watch base for a bit. See ya around, Jessie."

I started eating. "Have fun, guys!"

He and Wedge got up, waved, said bye to Tifa, and headed outside. After they left, Tifa went back behind the bar, made herself something to eat as well, and then came over and sat down with me. I didn't mind the company, so we talked and ate for a little while until Barret stepped into the bar and joined us.

"Hi, Barret!" I said. "You swing by for lunch, too?"

He nodded. "Damn right! Best food in town, but I'm bettin' Wedge already told ya that, didn't he?"

I grinned. "Oh, yeah. Lots of times."

"Want your usual, Barret?" Tifa started to get up.

"Sure, but there ain't no rush, girl," he said. "So you go on an' take a load off. You got a busy night tonight."

She sat back down. "Always. I like it, though."

"Where's Marlene?" I asked.

"Swung by the watch base on the way here to pick up some flyers," Barret explained. "She wanted to visit with Biggs an' Wedge, so I let her stay over there with 'em for a bit 'till I'm done here."

Tifa smiled. "Gives you a nice little break, too. Clever."

"Sure is!" he agreed. "Packed Marlene her lunch before we left this mornin', so she's havin' it with the guys."

"Good thinking!" I laughed.

He leaned forward in his chair. "That's the kinda thing ya do when you got a kid, Jessie. Always be plannin' ahead. An' speakin'a thinkin', I been doin' that a lot 'bout that opportunity I told ya 'bout a while back. To get even with Shinra, remember?"

I nodded. "I do. What've you got in mind?"

"Well, I gotta admit, I'm impressed with all the work you done here in Sector 7 these past few months. I hear a lot, Jessie, an' folks're happy with ya an' what ya do for 'em."

"Thanks, Barret," I said. "Glad I caught your eye!"

He chuckled. "Oh, you sure did, girl. You got good skills an' a good heart, an' you could be a big help to me an' the rest with what we doin'. It ain't much now, but I got plans for us. Big plans."

I was definitely interested. "I'm game. So what's the gig?"

"I'll tell ya later," Barret answered. "Wanna have a talk with Tifa an' the guys first. But come back to the bar tonight. We hang out here for a while sometimes after it's closed."

"You're gonna invite her in?" Tifa asked.

He gazed thoughtfully at me. "I'm leanin' that way, yeah."

She patted his shoulder. "She'll be great, Barret. You've got my vote! And I doubt the guys'll mind."

"I'll be here," I promised, excited. "What time?"

"Midnight oughta do it," Barret said.

I grinned. "Alrighty! I—"

The sound of the doors swinging open cut me off, and as soon as I saw Biggs and Marlene walk inside, my jaw fell open and I could barely keep from laughing hysterically at the sight. Marlene was almost totally covered in mud, all the way from her shoes and dress to her face, arms, and hair. She looked innocently at us while Biggs stood behind her, his own clothes heavily splattered with mud, too.

"What happened?" Tifa chuckled.

Biggs grimaced. "Took her to the playground for a bit while Wedge stayed at the watch base, and she went right for this big mud puddle in the back. Jumped in before I could stop her."

I smirked. "Wow! Looks like she got ya good, Biggs!"

He rolled his eyes. "Don't remind me…"

"Now what did Daddy tell ya 'bout playin' in the mud, girl?" Barret tried to act serious, but he couldn't hide his smile.

"Sowwy…" she said.

He laughed. "Aw, that's okay. Jus' listen to Biggs next time."

Marlene smiled. "Okay. Sowwy, Biggs…"

"You're fine, squirt," he winked. "I know you had fun. Even if I did have to go an' fish you outta there."

"Yeah!" she giggled.

Tifa gently picked her up at arm's length. "Come on, Marlene. Let's go upstairs and get you a bath."

She nodded. "Okay!"

"Gonna head home and hop in the shower myself," Biggs sighed as he looked at himself. "Catch ya later, guys."

Barret nodded as he left, then glanced at Tifa. "Jus' leave Marlene's dirty clothes out, Tifa. I'll get 'em washed."

"Sure thing," she said. "The rest are in the hamper."

As she carried Marlene upstairs, I grinned. "Never took you for the domestic type, Barret."

He chuckled. "Wasn't always what I am now, ya know. Back home, I did a lot. Besides, Marlene's clothes ain't gonna clean themselves. So I do what I can to take care of her."

"Well, you're really good at it," I told him. "She's great."

"Thanks, Jessie," he said. "She likes you, too."

I smiled. "Feeling's mutual. So, where are you from? You came here to Midgar a few years ago, right?"

Barret sat back in his chair. "Yeah, I did. Four years."

"What was home before that?" I wondered.

"Corel," he answered. "Big mining town. Well, it used to be."

I froze when I heard his answer, my glass halfway to my mouth. I'd been about to take a drink, but I slowly put it back down instead with a hand that wasn't quite steady. Corel. The town I'd unwittingly helped to destroy. As I looked at his gun-arm again and thought of how Marlene was clearly adopted, I closed my eyes and remembered a warning I had given to Scarlet before she had gone there:

"_But you should let the soldiers know to watch their aim when firing the rifles. They use very high-caliber shells that could take someone's arm off if they're not careful. I'd rather we didn't have any accidents."_

I knew it was my fault. Barret had lost his arm, his home, and who knew how much more. And Marlene must've lost her parents when the town was destroyed. I was glad Barret had saved her, but guilt ate at me for what they'd suffered. They were… my victims. How could I tell him what I'd done? How do you possibly tell someone it was your fault they lost everything? Where would you even begin?

"What happened?" I asked cautiously.

He shook his head. "Not somethin' I like talkin' 'bout, Jessie."

I knew the feeling. "Sorry. I understand, believe me."

"You're fine, don't worry," Barret patted me on the shoulder. "Ain't got nothin' to be sorry for."

I pushed back my plate and stood up, my appetite gone. "Thanks, I appreciate it. I'd better be getting back to work, though. Would you tell Tifa I said thank you for lunch?"

He nodded. "Sure. Take care, girl."

"See you tonight!" I said, waving at him.

Although outwardly I was cheerful as ever, on the inside my heart ached with pain and sorrow. I headed outside, seeing in my mind those terrible images of Corel in flames, the ones from the news report years ago when it had been destroyed. I remembered how I had run upstairs to Materials Storage on the 63rd floor and cried alone amidst the crates and boxes. And now, I was face-to-face with the consequences of what I'd brought about, however unintentionally.

Reeve and Cait had both told me that day that what had happened to Corel wasn't my fault, but even after all these years, I still couldn't let go of the sense of responsibility I felt for causing the disaster. My hands tightened into fists at my sides as I thought about that, and I came to a decision, one that I knew was right.

From now on, no matter what, I'd be there for Barret and Marlene. I'd do anything for them, whatever it was and wherever it led. I owed it to them, even if I couldn't even begin to tell them why. They'd both lost so much because of me, and I had to make it up to them. I had to make things right somehow. And I would if it was the last thing I did. Even if it meant giving my life. I'd do it gladly.

As I walked back toward my shop, I thought about Barret's offer. It would be the first step. I didn't know what it was all about, but it didn't matter. I knew I'd accept it without question. He wanted to bring me in on something important, wanted my help, and I was going to give it to him. I didn't have any doubt about that.

When I got close to the street leading to my shop, I noticed a flyer on the side of one of the nearby buildings. Someone must've slapped it there recently because it hadn't been there last week. Those things were always coming and going, though. Ads for the watch, for shops around town, and more. Even a few for LOVELESS. I always moved on quickly when I saw them. Didn't want anyone connecting me to the play if they ever saw me near one of those flyers.

This one caught my eye because it was different, and I went over to get a closer look at it. I'd seen a few here and there throughout Sector 7 but never really thought much about them until now. It was one of the flyers for that Avalanche group, talking about how mako energy was in reality the life source of the planet and how Shinra was draining it with the reactors, slowly killing our world.

Some people seemed to believe it while others didn't, just like a lot of ideas floating around. Others even made fun of these guys, whoever they were, writing them off as idiots or alarmists. As for me, I wasn't so sure. I knew from my time at Shinra and from what I'd learned during the Reactor 3 incident how bad things were in the reactors, and while I didn't know much about the planet being alive, I was well aware of the damage that mako processing did to living things.

I decided it might be worth looking into if I could ever find one of these Avalanche people to talk to. Nobody in Sector 7 seemed to know who they were, and my friends had always either been carefully evasive whenever I'd asked them about it or had changed the subject. Wasn't all that much else I could do, so I shrugged and headed back to work, not having any idea what tonight's meeting would bring. But it would turn out to be another major shift in my life.

* * *

Everyone was already there when I stepped inside _Seventh Heaven_ just before midnight. Tifa smiled as she unlocked the door for me and let me in. The bar was closed, and it was just the five of us now. Barret must've put Marlene to bed upstairs earlier. He waved from his spot at the bar and motioned for me to come over.

"Hey, Jessie!" he said. "Glad you could make it."

I slid onto the stool next to him. "Happy to be here, Barret. Got me all curious about this business of yours."

"I bet I did," he chuckled.

"Want a drink?" Tifa asked as she walked over.

I nodded. "That'd be great, Tifa. I'll have… a Lifestream. I'm in the mood for something different tonight."

She grinned. "You got it! It'll only take a minute."

With that, she slid behind the bar and started making me my drink with her usual flair and style, expertly twirling and spinning the bottles with practiced grace. It was pretty cool, the way she'd toss them up and catch them behind her back. She got a lot of nice tips that way from the customers whenever she did that.

"You'll like it," Biggs said, lifting his glass. He and Wedge sat at one of the tables nearby. "Got a hell of a kick to it, though."

"Sure does!" Wedge agreed.

Tifa brought it over. "Here you go, Jessie."

It was a bright, clear green in the glass, and I took a sip. The flavor was definitely strong, tingling my throat, but I liked it. I had to blink a few times as I took another swallow, and I thought I tasted just a touch of mint in there as I drank.

"It's good," I laughed. "Quite a bite! Very smooth, though."

Tifa smiled. "Thanks. Glad you like it!"

Barret tapped on the bar. "Awright, people. Now that we all settled in, let's go ahead an' get started. Jessie, as ya know, we been doin' some business together, us four. We keep a low profile to stay outta trouble as much as we can. That'll change eventually, but we still gotta make sure no one knows it's us behind it."

"I'm not sure I understand," I said.

He nodded. "I know. You will, though. But first, there's somethin' I wanna ask ya. Have you seen them flyers posted everywhere? The ones 'bout Avalanche an' the planet?"

"Yeah, I've seen—" I started, then my eyes widened. "Wait… _you're_ Avalanche? The four of you?"

"That's right," Biggs said. "Sorry for keepin' ya in the dark."

Wedge took over. "Barret asked us to. He said he didn't wanna put it on you all at once, that we should give you some time to settle in and get to know us better. I hope you don't mind."

I smiled. "It's okay. You were just being cautious."

"You see, we'd like you to join us," Tifa said, sitting beside me. "We think you could be a big help to what we're trying to do. The skills you have, and how much you care about others."

I stared at her "Really? You want me to sign on?"

"We gonna save this planet, Jessie," Barret said. "Shinra's drainin' it dry with their reactors, an' someday we gonna hafta do somethin' 'bout 'em. That's still a long way off, though. But there's other stuff we can do in the meantime. Little things to pave the way."

I turned it over in my mind. "The mako… that must be why it's so hard to grow things in Midgar. And why the land around it's so barren. I've heard the stories about how people return to the planet when they die, but I wasn't sure if I should believe them."

As I thought about what Barret and the others had said and what I had seen and learned when I was still at Shinra, I knew they were right. And if there was any chance at all that Mom's spirit was being damaged by Shinra's siphoning of the planet's life energy, then I had to do what I could to stop it. Striking back at Shinra for what they'd done to me was icing on the cake. And it would also give me a chance to atone for what I'd done at Shinra and to Barret and Marlene.

Avalanche was my redemption.

"They all true," Barret said. "Mako's the lifeblood of our world. We do all go back to the planet when we die. It's a natural flow an' the way of world, but Shinra's screwin' things up with their reactors, suckin' up all the life like soda in a cup."

Biggs looked at me. "Mako ain't just something you use to turn the lights on. Hell no. It's the essence of life and memory. You should go do some research on planetology, Jessie. We've got some books and stuff if you wanna check 'em out sometime."

"I think I will," I agreed.

"That's good to hear," Barret continued. "Those'll help get ya up to speed on things. An' if you got any questions, you jus' go on an' ask. We gotcha covered. But in the meantime, we need your help, Jessie. So how 'bout it? You up for savin' the planet with us?"

I smirked. "If you had any doubt, would I even be here?"

Biggs' eyes lit up. "So that's a yes?"

"Of course!" I pumped my fist. "Count me in!"

"Yes!" Wedge shot me a thumbs up.

Barret grinned. "Awright! Glad to have ya aboard, Jessie."

Tifa hugged me. "Welcome to the family."

"Thanks, guys," I said. "Feels really good, you know?"

Barret clapped me on the shoulder. "Damn straight! Now let's kick back an' have a drink to celebrate."

"Sounds good to me!" I laughed.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Biggs said. "Had a little something made for you today after I found out Barret was gonna invite you into Avalanche tonight. So here ya go. Catch!"

He took two items out of his pocket and tossed them over to me. I caught them easily and looked at them. They were both bright red, and I smiled when I realized what they were. The smaller one was a hair tie like the black one I was using. And the larger one was a headband, just like the one Biggs wore. It was perfect.

Setting them on the bar for a moment, I unfastened my hair—now naturally long and free of extensions—and put the black hair tie aside. Then I picked up the red one and used it to redo my ponytail. When it was nicely snug, I took my new headband and put it on, tying it firmly behind my left ear with the ends hanging down behind it. I felt good as I looked at the others, my eyes bright.

"Thanks!" I said. "So what do you think?"

Wedge beamed. "Awesome!"

Biggs nodded. "Super duper awesome!"

"Lookin' good, girl," Barret chuckled. "Tifa, another round!"

She was already on it, laughing as she got us more drinks. Once we all had ours, she sat down next to me again, a glass in her hand. I went with another Lifestream while she had gotten herself a Cosmo Canyon. The guys all had bottles of beer, and as we sat there, we all looked over at Barret and waited for him.

He raised his drink. "Avalanche!"

We all smiled and lifted ours. "Avalanche!"


	27. TWENTY-SIX

**TWENTY-SIX**

In the first few weeks since joining Avalanche, I scoured the slums for books and resources about planetology, spending almost all my free time reading about spirit energy, the flow of souls, and the devastating effects of Shinra's mako harvesting through the reactors. I'd often bring a book with me when I'd stop by the bar to eat or visit, sometimes with a bit of good-natured ribbing about it from Biggs and Wedge. But they gladly shared what they knew with me.

I started to understand why they had joined up, too. Wedge, more than anything, wanted to make a difference and improve things for his family and everyone else. As for Biggs, it all came down to Lena, really. I'd seen for myself how the mako fumes affected her, and I understood all too well what it was like to lose someone that close to you. He didn't want to lose her like they'd lost their mom. And he was also doing this to help the kids at the Leaf House.

Speaking of Biggs, I'd started to notice that he seemed to be a little different lately. He was still as friendly and helpful as always, but I had begun to notice his soft gaze lingering on me more than usual when he thought I wasn't looking. And if our fingers happened to brush against each other, he'd glance at me and then quickly make some kind of joke or comment and pull his eyes away. I didn't get it, at least not then, so I just shrugged it off and didn't think much of it.

Barret and I talked often, and as I listened to him tell me about the planet and how it was alive and how Shinra was killing it by siphoning its energy, I saw how passionate he was about it. Marlene was the force behind it, the personal face of what he was fighting for just as Lena was for Biggs. I saw that easily enough. But although he never talked about it, I was sure Corel was part of his motivation, too. I could see the rage in his eyes whenever he mentioned Shinra.

As for Tifa, while I knew that she hated Shinra as much as the rest of us, she hadn't said all that much about why. Only that she'd lost a lot because of them, which I definitely understood. We shared a lot of late nights together, just talking outside on the bar's front patio, sometimes with a cold drink and a generous slice of her chocolate cake, a scoop of ice cream, or both. My favorite was banana raspberry with a cherry on top, which I quickly introduced her to. She loved it.

I didn't even realize it was spring at first, one warm night when we were all hanging out together at _Seventh Heaven_ after Tifa had closed it up. We did that a lot, talking and planning or sometimes just relaxing. We didn't have a hideout, not really, although the place had a basement that didn't see much use. You could only get in through a pair of doors at the base of the wall behind the bar. It was still a bit too visible for us, though. We needed something more private.

"So what's on the agenda, boss?" Biggs asked, sitting at the bar with a bottle of beer in his hand.

Wedge was next to him. "More flyers?"

Barret took a drink of his own beer. "Some, yeah. Also got a lead to follow up on, too."

"What kinda lead?" Biggs asked.

"Shinra supply depot over in the Sector 4 slums," Barret explained. "I got wind of it jus' the other day. It's where they store alla them spare parts for the machines runnin' the reactors."

Wedge rubbed his chin. "What are we gonna do?"

Barret was sitting with Tifa and I at one of the tables near the guys. "First thing to do's have a look 'round. Can't plan anythin' 'till we know more 'bout what we're dealin' with."

"A reconnaissance mission," I said, seeing what he meant.

"That's right," he nodded. "You up for it, Jessie?"

I blinked. "Me?"

Barret grinned. "Yeah, you! This is your chance to do somethin' for the cause. Hangin' up posters is good an' all, but we gotta do more than that if we're gonna save our planet."

"Oh, hell yeah!" I pumped my fist. "I'm in!"

I'd been waiting and hoping for an opportunity like this ever since I'd first joined Avalanche about a month ago. We did a lot of planning, but aside from going around town at night putting our signs up on the walls and fences, that was about it. Until now, anyway. And if we pulled this off, it could lead to more action against Shinra, chances to strike at them and start building that better future we all wanted. I was in all the way, no doubt about it. I was ready.

Barret saw it, too. "Gladta hear it! Tifa'll go with ya, too. We talked it over already. The rest of us'll keep an eye on things here while you're gone. That sound like a plan, Jessie?"

I chuckled. "Sure does! When do we leave?"

"Next weekend," he said. "She'll get the bar closed early. Goin' after dark oughta help keep ya from bein' noticed."

"Sounds like fun," I winked.

Tifa laughed. "I'll definitely keep us on our toes, that's for sure. So, how does Saturday sound? I know my regulars'll probably complain as soon as I close the bar, but Barret and I can handle them easily enough, so I think that'll be our best bet."

I smiled. "Yeah, it should be. Oh, what's today's date, by the way? I get so lost in my work sometimes that I don't even know what day it is. Hard to believe it's spring already, you know?"

"Time does go by, doesn't it?" Tifa agreed. "Anyway, today's March 16th. I really should get a calendar for the bar one of these days. Might help us with our planning, too."

"March 16th?" I stared at her, my eyes widening.

She nodded. "That's right. Why?"

For a moment, I couldn't say anything. I just sat there, stunned as I realized how long I'd been in the slums and exactly what day it was. My heart ached so suddenly and so fiercely I nearly gasped. I knew exactly what this day was, what it should've been. What it would've been if my life hadn't been turned upside down so many months ago. I had to shut my eyes to keep from breaking down.

Then I heard Biggs. "You okay, Jessie?"

Letting out a deep breath, I slipped on a cheerful smile and leaned back in my chair. "I'm fine. It just took me by surprise, is all. Guess I've been down here longer than I thought."

The guys bought it, though Tifa didn't look convinced. I didn't like stretching the truth like that, but I also didn't feel up to talking about it right then. So I changed the subject, lightening things up with a funny joke I'd heard from one of my customers. But even as we talked and the conversation went on for a while, Tifa would gaze curiously at me from time to time. No doubt she was worried.

After another hour or so, the guys left, telling Tifa and I goodnight as we stacked the chairs onto the tables. I didn't mind helping her even though I wasn't staying here anymore. We were friends, after all. And I needed a friend right now, even though I didn't know how to tell her. I just worked and kept that smile in place, chatting with her all the while as if nothing was wrong. I still knew how to act, after all. But I figured Tifa would see through it anyway.

I set the last chair in place. "Well, I think that's it."

"Thanks for the help," Tifa smiled.

"Anytime," I laughed. "I'm gonna go outside and get some fresh air on the patio for a while. Don't wait up!"

She chuckled. "Okay. See you later, Jessie."

I half expected Tifa to follow me, but she just took a rag and began wiping down the bar. Maybe she understood I needed some time alone first, even if she didn't know what was bothering me. I hadn't been able to get it out of my mind ever since she'd told me the date, and although I had kept up a cheerful front ever since, I could feel it starting to crack as I stepped outside onto the patio.

The tears came before I was even halfway to the rail, and as I stood there with my hands on the smooth wood, I looked upward, feeling the wetness on my cheeks as I gazed at the underside of the plate. I still did that almost every day, but tonight was different. I thought about where Kunsel and I could've been now if we hadn't been torn apart. What this day should've been for us. Our special day.

I almost didn't hear the door open about fifteen minutes later, and I didn't turn to look as Tifa quietly walked up beside me. She didn't say anything but just waited patiently, and she wasn't the least bit surprised to find me in tears. At first, I couldn't find the words, didn't know how to get them past the hard lump in my throat. But after a while, I took a breath and looked over at her.

"You know what… today is?" I asked.

She put her hand over mine. "More than just the 16th."

I nodded. "A lot more. I told you it didn't work out… with the guy I loved. We were forced apart. It wasn't our idea, but… I had to leave. I had to come down here to survive. And my guy, he… he stayed behind to protect me. Don't ask me to explain."

"You don't have to," Tifa assured me. "Go on."

I sniffled. "Well, before all that happened, he and I had been seeing each other for a long time, and… we'd gotten really close. I don't know if you followed the news back then, but… he and I…we were engaged. He proposed to me just two months before… before we lost it all. And today… today was supposed to be…"

She slid her arms around me. "Oh, Jessie. I'm sorry…"

"My wedding day…" I sobbed.

With that, the dam broke, and I let Tifa hold me as I cried. I wasn't used to being so vulnerable like this, so openly emotional—most of the time, I hid my feelings behind a laugh and a smile—but I trusted Tifa. I knew I was safe with her. Aerith had been the same way, a good friend I could be real with. I missed her, but with how busy my work was and how short I usually kept my trips to Sector 5, I hadn't seen her. I hoped we'd meet again someday, though.

I wept, burying my face in Tifa's shoulder, and my chest hitched as memories of my days on the plate, my days with Kunsel, swept through my mind in a torrent of color and sound. Motorcycle rides, performing on stage, walking hand in hand down the street, warm laughter, tender kisses, fiery passion. That fateful night I'd walked into Goblin's Bar and changed both our lives. Seeing him watching me in LOVELESS for the first time earlier that evening. Sitting on the Gust in his arms as one of the trains shot out of the tunnel beneath us.

So many memories, so many images. I still thought about Kunsel a lot, about the life we'd had and lost. I missed him, and I wondered if I'd ever be able to let go. If I would ever see him again. As I let it all out, all the hurt I'd kept pent up inside, I clung to Tifa, angry at Shinra and my father for tearing Kunsel and I apart and for destroying the life that I'd built up for myself on the plate.

"Sorry…" I murmured once I'd worn myself out.

Tifa just squeezed me gently. "What for? You can't keep the pain all locked up behind a smile forever. Sometimes you just have to let it out. So don't worry about it, okay?"

I looked up at her. "Yeah. It's the actress in me."

"I know," she smiled. "But I'm here for you, Jessie. Whenever it gets to be too much. You're not alone."

"Thanks, Tifa," I said, wiping my eyes.

She hugged me. "Anytime. Up for some cake?"

"Oh, you bet!" I laughed, letting go of her. "I could definitely use a bit of chocolate right about now."

"Me too!" Tifa agreed.

Before went went inside, though, I reached into the front pocket of my pants and took out a small bag made of dark red velvet. Tugging on the drawstrings, I pulled it open and reached inside for what I had kept carefully tucked away in there—my engagement ring. As I held it for a moment, the large diamond's glittering facets brightly reflected the soft amber glow of the porch lights.

I showed it to Tifa. "He proposed to me on my birthday. Got down on one knee and everything."

"It's beautiful…" she said, her hand on my shoulder.

"I tried to give it back when… when I had to leave the plate, but he asked me to keep it. As a reminder, you know? Of his love. I carry it on me all the time. It's… all I have left of him."

Tifa nodded. "I understand. You must miss him a lot."

"I do," I admitted, blinking away fresh tears. "But if I hadn't had to come down here, I never would've met you guys, either. And I wouldn't trade you all for anything."

"Same here," she smiled. "Now how about that dessert?"

I grinned. "Ready when you are!"

As we went back inside the bar, I returned the ring to its bag, then slipped it back into my pocket. I wondered if I would ever be able to let Kunsel go, if I would ever be able to love again. I wasn't ready, not now, but maybe… maybe someday. I just needed time.

Tifa's double chocolate cake was, as always, delicious. It was one of her most popular dishes, so there was often some left over at the end of the night. She and I helped ourselves to a slice each, chatting about one thing or another and laughing as we sat together at one of the tables. It felt as if I had found a sister. And maybe I had.

* * *

_In the stillness, the flood of memories stops. I'm in the dark again, in this black, quiet place between life and death. At first, there's nothing. No different than before. One moment pretty much the same as the next. It's strange, and I don't know if I'll ever wake up. Or if I even can. But then I hear a voice, one that I know and love. A sexy, cool voice that makes my heart flutter and skip a beat when I hear it._

_It's Cloud._

"_Don't even think about giving up," he urges me. "We've come too far together. So you're gonna make it, you hear? You're gonna live. I won't let you die. I'm gonna save you."_

_Does this mean… I'm still alive? Cloud's voice is soft and steady, and it's all around me. It fills me and gives me hope. More than anything else, I want to answer him, but I can't. I'm still stuck in this place, whatever it is, and I don't know how to get out. Was that… really him? Or was it just my dying mind playing tricks on me?_

_I can feel a pull, slow but insistent, toward a deeper darkness as I lay here in between. And I'm not sure how long I can resist it. I do know that if I go there, I won't be coming back. I really will die. I'm not sure how to stop it, not yet, but maybe I can at least delay it. So I take my mind back to my early days in Sector 7, remembering the friends I'd made, the good times and the bad. I fight the cold of death with the warmth of life, using my memories to stay afloat. And alive._

* * *

I was sitting at my desk in my shop four days later when Biggs and Wedge stopped by. They'd do that sometimes when they weren't out on patrol in the outskirts. Lucky for them, I'd just gotten back here not too long ago from replacing the water filter at my friend Katie's house. She was fun, energetic, and _really_ into her job. She kept track of how many monsters the watch took out every day, writing the numbers on a huge chalkboard behind her, and sometimes I could hear her halfway across town as she called out the totals.

"Hi, guys!" I smiled, my fingers flying easily over the keyboard as I worked on my computer. "Just a sec, okay? I've got a little bookkeeping to do. Won't take long, though."

Biggs leaned against the wall. "No problem, Jessie."

"Hey, you fixed that radio!" Wedge beamed.

It was sitting on a shelf behind my desk, music playing softly from the speakers. Wedge had found it for me last week in one of the piles of junk and scrap lying around town. It hadn't worked at first, but after I'd done a little scavenging of my own, I had repaired it with the parts that I'd found and made for it. And now, whenever I came here, I had some nice songs to listen to while I worked.

"Wasn't that hard," I explained. "Just had to do a little rewiring and replace a few parts. Now it's good as new!"

"You really _can_ fix anything, can't you?" Wedge laughed.

I chuckled. "Pretty much."

Biggs grinned. "'Course she can. She's a genius!"

"Thanks, guys. I'm almost done here. Just need to—" I didn't get to finish, though, because the ringing of my phone suddenly cut me off. I picked it up and smiled apologetically at my friends. "Rasberry Repair Services, Jessie speaking. What can I do for ya?"

It was a new customer, a guy in Sector 8 whose TV was on the fritz and who needed a new filter installed for his garden, too. Nothing that I couldn't handle, of course. I got lots of calls like this, almost every day now that word had spread across the slums about me and what I could do. Kept me pretty busy, but I liked it.

After taking down his information and making the appointment, I hung up and winked at the guys. "Sorry about that. I'm just so popular now, you know? All thanks to you, of course."

"Awww, it wasn't much," Wedge blushed. "We just helped you out a little. And you did the rest."

Biggs nodded. "You're damn good at what you do."

I winked. "Thanks. So what's up?"

"Thought we could go take a look at the basement we've got under the bar. Boss wants to use it for a hideout, but we need to come up with a way to get in there without being noticed."

"Sure, I've been thinking about that," I agreed.

Wedge laughed. "Great! Got any ideas?"

I smirked. "Not yet. Maybe once I see the place. I didn't even know the bar _had_ a basement 'till I signed on with Avalanche. Looks like I'm getting in on all the secrets now, though!"

"Sure are," Biggs said.

"I'll go on ahead," Wedge suggested. "Tifa's got the keys to the back door, so I can go pick them up and get the basement open while you're busy closing up, Jessie. Sound good?"

I nodded. "You bet! We'll be there soon."

Biggs turned to me. "Need a hand?"

"If you want to," I smiled as Wedge left. "Mind putting those parts on the shelf for me?"

"No problem!" he said.

While I shut down my computer, put my phone in my pocket, and straightened up the papers on my desk, Biggs went over to the far wall and started picking up the different machine and filter parts that I had found in the junk piles yesterday during one of my salvage runs. I often brought back anything that looked useful and sorted through it later. It was kinda fun, actually, seeing what I could pull from the discards and make into a working gadget or component.

I was just heading over to give Biggs a hand with stocking the shelf when he turned around to pick up another part and bumped right into me by accident. I yelped in surprise as I began tumbling backward, but he caught me quickly, taking me by the shoulders as I held onto him to steady myself. He didn't let go right away, though.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said. "Just got too close too fast, I guess."

He grinned. "My fault. Should've watched what I was doing. Didn't hear ya coming. Sorry about that."

"You're fine," I assured him. "Thanks for catching me."

Biggs' gaze lingered on me. "Sure…"

I blinked as I realized he still hadn't let go, either with his hands or his eyes. "Everything alright, Biggs?"

"I… what?" he looked away. "Oh, uh… I'm fine."

I raised an eyebrow as he dropped his arms to his sides. "You sure? You've been acting a little weird lately."

Biggs put another part on the shelf. "I have?"

"Yeah," I said. "Wanna talk about it? I've got a good ear."

He swallowed and stepped a little closer to me. "Well… I guess so. But maybe, uh… over dinner? Just you and me. There's a new place up the street I've been wanting to try. Supposed to be really good. If you're interested, we could go there tonight."

"Are you… talking about a date?" I stared at him.

"I suppose I am…" Biggs admitted.

Now it all made sense. No wonder he hadn't been quite himself. He had feelings for me. It was sweet, but as I slowly let that realization sink in, I felt bad for him, too. He was a good friend, a great friend, but that was all it could be. And I also understood what Mom must've felt when Reeve had expressed his interest in her, how she hadn't wanted to hurt their friendship if it didn't work out. I didn't want that happening with Biggs, either. He meant too much to me.

I took his hand. "Come with me, Biggs. Let's talk."

Smiling encouragingly, I led him over to my desk and sat down on the edge. Then I patted the space next to me. He sighed as he sat down, probably seeing where this was going. There wasn't any helping it, but I could at least make it gentle. I'd had to turn away a guy or two since I'd moved here, but I knew this would be different.

"Guess that's a no…" Biggs sighed.

"How long have you been… interested in me?" I asked.

He looked straight ahead at the door, not meeting my gaze at first. "To be honest with you… ever since we met. But it didn't really take off until about a month ago."

"When you found out who I was," I said.

Biggs nodded. "Yeah. Wedge wasn't lying when he said I was really into Jessie Jae. And… I guess I am."

It made sense. "That's what I figured."

"But you don't feel the same way, do you?" he said.

"I'm sorry, Biggs," I shook my head.

He closed his eyes. "Damn…"

"You're a great guy," I told him, taking his hand. "And I'm flattered that you feel the way you do about me. I really am. But you see, I'm not ready for… anything like that. With anyone."

"What do you mean?" he wondered, looking at me.

I went on. "I had someone, for a long time. A guy I loved a lot. We were even gonna get married, but…"

Biggs gasped. "Ah, shit, I'm sorry, Jessie! I forgot, it was all over the news. He was a soldier, wasn't he? You and him were gonna get hitched until… whatever happened that brought you down here. Of course you wouldn't be ready. I should've remembered…"

"It's okay," I smiled. "I know you didn't mean any harm."

"Thanks," he said.

I patted his hand. "Sure. You okay?"

"I'll be alright," Biggs gave me a lopsided grin that was shakier than he let on. "And I can wait, it's no big deal."

I shook my head. "No, Biggs. Don't do that."

He blinked. "Why not?"

"It wouldn't be fair to you," I explained. "I don't want you to miss a chance for happiness because you were still hoping that we might have something together. You need to be free. I'm really sorry, but… it's not gonna happen between us, Biggs."

He nodded but didn't say anything at first. We just sat there side by side for a bit, soft music still playing from the radio. I didn't like having to turn him down, but I just wasn't in the right place for a relationship. It was still too soon. And he was my friend, almost like a brother. That was how I saw him, how I'd always seen him.

"I guess I understand," he said. "And thanks for being honest about it. Ain't easy, but… I'll be okay."

"Sure. We're still friends, aren't we?" I asked.

He smiled. "'Course we are, Jessie. No way that'll change."

I grinned. "Awesome! Now come here."

Standing up, I waited for Biggs with open arms as he got to his feet. When he reached out, I drew him into a hug—nice and tight—and for a moment we just held onto each other. He hadn't said it, but I knew he was disappointed. This hadn't gone the way he'd hoped, and I could tell it would take a while for him to work through it. Must've fallen for me pretty hard. But I knew he'd be alright, in time.

"Hey, Biggs…" I told him. "No matter what happens, I'll always be here for you. I'll always be your friend."

He hugged me again. "Same here, Jessie. Same here."

I laughed. "Great! Now let's go check out that basement. We'll turn it into an awesome hideout!"

"Lead the way!" Biggs gave me a thumbs up.

We left the shop after that, and once I'd locked it up, we headed up the street and out onto the main road. It didn't take us long to get back to the bar, and as we walked up to the large front yard, I decided I'd try to cheer Biggs up a bit. I gave him a playful elbow into his side, and he glanced at me with a little laugh.

"Gotta admit, you _are_ a pretty handsome guy," I teased. "A real stud muffin. You're not gonna have any trouble finding a cute girl to love on ya someday. So don't you worry!"

He chuckled. "Guess you're right, Jessie. Thanks."

"Hey, guys!" Tifa called, waving to us. She was up on the bar's front patio wiping down the tables. "Wedge is already downstairs waiting for you. I'll come with, if you don't mind."

"Sure thing, Tifa!" I waved back. "Let's go!"


	28. TWENTY-SEVEN

**TWENTY-SEVEN**

The basement actually had two rooms. The steps descended from outside into the smaller one. Although it was empty and didn't look to have seen much use, it was clean. I stood there with Biggs and Tifa for a minute as we joined Wedge, who'd gotten here earlier and unlocked it for us. The place was unfinished, just a simple concrete floor and walls, with rusty iron pipes and wooden beams running across the ceiling. It was a good start, and I thought we could easily work with it and turn it into a cozy little private space for us.

"So what do you think, Jessie?" Wedge asked.

I nodded. "Looks good. We could use this room for storage, maybe as a place for us to crash, too, if we're here really late and don't feel like walking home. Or if you pass out again, Biggs."

He snorted. "Oh, come on! I haven't done that since—"

"The other night?" I finished for him, smirking. "You really should quit having those drinking contests with Barret, Biggs. He _always_ wins, and you always wind up either on the floor or with your head down on the table, snoozing away. It's so embarrassing."

"I don't remember that…" Biggs scratched his head.

Wedge grinned. "Oh, but we do! Jessie and I had to take you home last time. Plopped you into your bed myself."

I giggled. "Wasn't easy, believe me!"

Biggs sighed. "I wondered how I wound up there with a four alarm hangover the next morning. Thanks, guys."

"Anytime," I winked. "That's what friends are for."

"What she said!" Wedge added.

We all laughed, even Biggs. He did like Tifa's famous drinks a little too much, though Barret wasn't helping by encouraging him with these macho games they played. Wedge and I had half-carried, half-dragged Biggs home that night, with him hitting on me the whole time. I hadn't thought much of it—I had dismissed it as the booze—but after our talk this afternoon, I realized it was more than that. Biggs had actually been honest in his drunken haze with all his slurred compliments about how pretty he thought I was and how he liked my eyes.

He had expressed feelings to me that he never would have revealed when he was sober. At least, until today. But only because I had pressed him about it. I hadn't wanted things to be awkward between us, and so far, anyway, Biggs seemed to be taking my gentle rebuff pretty well, and I was glad for that. I cared about him a lot.

I figured Wedge had already known Biggs was interested in me, as tight as they were, but had wisely kept quiet and left it to us to sort out. Maybe that was why he'd come here first, to give us time to do that. He wasn't really the smartest guy—and he'd be the first to admit that—but Wedge had a way of seeing things in people sometimes. He had a huge heart and was very perceptive, although he did struggle a lot to believe in himself. So I always tried to encourage him.

There was a small door on the far wall. It led into the other room, a much larger one that I figured had to be right underneath the common room itself. Like the first room, it was unfinished, but I knew we could spruce the place up a bit easily enough. The question was, how were we to get in here without anyone else knowing about it?

We had to figure that out if we were gonna turn the basement into a secret hideout for Avalanche. I had learned even in the short time I'd been here that news got around fast in the slums, and there were some people in Sector 7 that loved to gossip. Derla was the worst, and I'd had to shoo her away a few times when she'd tried to pester me with chatter or snoop on something I was doing. She was a little older than me, but not by much. And irritating as hell. Being relatively new in town, I was a prime target for her efforts to get a scoop.

At least until Tifa had set her straight. That had been a sight to see, and I hadn't been able to hide a smirk as I'd watched Derla sulking her way down the street a few weeks ago, her dark red hair tumbling a little past her shoulders and her nose held up so high it was almost vertical. She had left me alone ever since.

I walked into the main room with the others, looking thoughtfully at the place and seeing what we had to work with. It was square for the most part, and just like the other room, it had concrete walls and more iron pipes reaching up to the ceiling and stretching across it. Not much there, but then as I made my way to the nearest corner, I saw an empty alcove about three feet across and six feet deep.

"Hey, Tifa," I asked. "What's this for?"

She looked at it with me. "I don't know. I've never actually been in here before, to be honest. Never really had a need. The previous owner used the basement for storage, I think. This little nook might've held a washer and dryer once. The outlets are there."

I nodded. "Yeah, I think you're right. But you know, maybe we can find another use for it…"

"What do you mean?" Wedge asked.

I gazed up at the ceiling. "We should be right below the back of the common room, right in front of the kitchen, and the alcove goes all the way up. So… what we need is an elevator."

Biggs blinked. "You serious?"

"Yeah," I said, folding my arms in front of me. "If we can gather all the materials, I think we can build one ourselves! We've already got the shaft right here. Just need to put together a lift and a machine to run it. So what do you say, guys? Wanna do this?"

"Sounds good, but… how do we hide it?" Wedge asked.

I stared at him. I hadn't thought of that. "I don't know yet. I'm sure we can come up with something, though."

Biggs smirked. "Yeah. You'll figure it out, Jessie."

"No pressure, right?" I teased.

"Don't forget you and I have a mission on Saturday," Tifa chuckled. "Gotta prepare for that, too."

I grinned. "I'll be ready, Tifa. Don't you worry!"

I hadn't forgotten about it, not for a minute. She and I had a job to do, scouting out that Shinra supply depot in Sector 4. My first mission for Avalanche. I shivered with excitement just thinking about it. Being a spy definitely sounded pretty cool, and I couldn't wait to get out there and get to work. It was gonna be fun!

"Good to hear," Tifa said. "In the meantime, how about we head on upstairs and have dinner before the evening crowd gets in? I think I've got enough time whip something up."

"Oh, you bet!" Wedge exclaimed, his eyes eager.

I laughed. "Knew you'd be all over that."

Biggs gave his arm a playful smack. "'Course he is! Wedge lives for Tifa's cooking. But then again, so do we."

"You got that right!" I agreed.

"Guess I shouldn't keep you guys waiting, then," Tifa winked. "Let's get going and I'll fire up the stove."

Wedge was already moving. "We're on our way!"

* * *

Dinner was as delicious as ever, and when I was finished, I sat back in my chair with my hands behind my head as Biggs took another pull on his drink and Wedge wolfed down more food. I had offered to help Tifa with the dishes, but she had just shaken her head and insisted that we all relax. So I did, my mind turning over the possibilities for putting together our new secret hideout.

I still wasn't sure how we were going to hide it, and that was what I kept coming back to. We had to be able to get at the controls, but at the same time, they couldn't be where just anyone could see them. Making the lift itself look like part of the floor was obvious, but how to hide the controls was the tricky part. Having buttons right on the wall wouldn't work. We needed something a bit more subtle.

Wedge finally pushed back his plate a moment later. "Boy, was that good! Tifa really knows how to cook."

"Sure does," Biggs agreed. "And we scarf it right up."

"Every time!" I nodded.

After taking a drink of his Seventh Heaven, an amber cocktail with a strong flavor, Wedge stood up. "Well, I think I'm gonna play a round or two of pinball, guys. Wanna join me?"

Biggs grinned. "Why not? Good way to unwind. Even if I do know I'm gonna get my ass handed to me."

"Hey, you might get lucky this time," Wedge chuckled.

"Not likely," Biggs said, standing up. "You're a damn wizard on that thing, buddy. I'll still give it a try, though."

I winked. "That's the spirit! I'll take on the winner."

"See you real soon," Wedge pointed at me.

"Oh, don't worry, I'll go easy on ya," I told him. Then I held up my index finger and smirked. "Psych!"

He laughed. "Bring it!"

"Consider it brought!" I fired back.

The guys went over to the first of the pinball tables, the one closest to the kitchen. Volcano Bombs, it was called. Pretty appropriate since it was themed around those bright orange bomb monsters that tended to blow themselves up when they got hit enough. Fortunately, they didn't lurk much in or around Midgar.

There was an L-shaped wall between the machine and the kitchen, separating it from the rest of the common room. The pinball table was tucked right into the corner where the kitchen wall and the one on that side of the room met. Two more pinball machines—Gold Time Pinball and Chocobo Challenge—stood in a row alongside Volcano Bombs. In the front corner of the bar was a jukebox, and a dartboard had been set up on the wall next to it. Wedge had the top score, as usual, but I wasn't far behind him. Maybe I'd challenge him later.

As Biggs and Wedge started playing, I got up and went over to join in the fun. Biggs went first, and as I watched, he managed to get a good start. But once his first ball drained and Wedge took over, I knew it was gonna be his contest. He was really good at it—I'd seen him play all the tables here enough to know he could rack up some impressive scores. I wasn't too bad at it myself, though.

I felt something start to push at the back of my mind as Wedge and Biggs kept on playing pinball, an idea that wanted out but was—for the moment, at least—stuck in the gears. I couldn't quite see the shape of it yet, but I knew _something_ was there. So I continued watching the guys, my gaze on the ball, the spinners, bumpers, lights, and buttons. Beeps, bloops, and blops filled the air as my friends played. Sudden flashes of color and bursts of sound. It was a merry riot.

"These buttons must be sticking'," Biggs said, his hands tapping the bumper controls on either side of the pinball machine. "Just not having much luck tonight. Your turn, buddy."

Wedge took over. "Don't worry, Biggs. You're doing fine."

Biggs smirked. "Says the guy who's like, forty million points ahead of me. Still, thanks for the encouragement."

"Anytime, bro," Wedge said.

"So the buttons don't stick for you?" Biggs asked.

Wedge shook his head. "Nah, they're fine. All the table controls are wired together inside, underneath the playfield. The machine's in good condition, too. Just gotta get a feel for how it plays. I can show you how to do it sometime if you want, Biggs."

My eyes widened as it all fell into place. _"__That's it!"_

"Jessie?" the guys asked together.

"I got it!" I grinned, slamming the bottom of my fist down onto the glass top of the pinball table. "And it's _perfect!"_

Biggs scratched his head. "Mind letting us in on it?"

"I know how to hide the lift, guys!" I exclaimed, my heart pumping with excitement. "Right in here!"

"The pinball table?" Wedge asked.

I beamed. "You betcha! I can build a second layer below the table's underside to hold the motor and connect it to the flipper buttons. And I could set it up so that once it's done, all we'd have to do to operate the lift is hold them both down for a few seconds."

Wedge gave me a thumbs up. "That just might work!"

"Damn right it will!" I laughed. "And it's all thanks to you. You're a genius, Wedge! The best!"

"I am?" he blinked, so stunned he lost his ball.

I hugged him. "Oh, yeah. I wouldn't have thought of it if you hadn't explained how the table was put together. And that's what switched on the light bulb in this little head of mine!"

He blushed. "Thanks, Jessie. Glad I could help."

"Sounds good, guys, but how do we keep other folks from tripping it and finding the hideout?" Biggs wondered.

I stepped back for a moment, thinking it over. Then I snapped my finger. "No problem, Biggs! We'll make the lift look just like part of the floor and fasten the table to it when we hook everything up. And then, we can just slap a nice big 'Out of Order' sign on the front. That oughta keep people from messing with it."

"Aw, I really like this table," Wedge sighed. "I'm gonna miss playing on it. But if that's what we gotta do…"

"Don't worry, Wedge!" I assured him. "I can rig the table so we can still play it even with it being part of the lift. Of course, we'll have to do that after hours so no one knows it still works."

He gaped at me. "You can do that?"

"Who do ya think you're talking to?" I grinned, pointing at myself with my thumb. "You'll still be able to kick our asses anytime you want. Well, at least Biggs. I'm not going down so easy!"

"Hey!" Biggs frowned. "I heard that!"

I smirked. "And I see you're down to your last ball. Wedge still has two more. Guess I'll be taking him on tonight."

He chuckled. "Seems that way."

"Your turn, buddy," Wedge laughed, stepping aside. "Then you can watch me trounce Jessie when we're done."

"Oh, you are _so_ going down!" I teased, hands on my hips.

Biggs snorted. "You wish!"

And so it went, the guys and I enjoying ourselves with pinball and a little good-natured trash talking as the evening crowd slowly filtered in and Barret took his usual place at the end of the bar, waving to us as he did. Marlene sat on his lap, and Tifa stopped by now and then to see us in between serving her customers. Just another fun, busy night here at _Seventh Heaven._ I loved it, and my excitement about building the lift fueled my eagerness to play with the guys. Wedge did beat me, but not by much, and we all had a great time.

* * *

Three days later, it was time for the mission.

I met Tifa behind _Seventh Heaven_ on Saturday night, just like we'd planned. It was late, but that was alright. We'd have less chance of being discovered under cover of darkness. Even so, I'd brought my gun and a half dozen raspberries with me. Tifa didn't have anything, though, and I wondered how she was going to defend herself if we got into trouble. All she did was put on a pair of sturdy, red leather gloves before flexing her fingers a few times to loosen them up. She wore a firm, solid set of work boots, too. But no weapons.

"You gonna be alright, Tifa?" I wondered. "I don't mind saving you if it comes to that, but I _am_ a little worried."

Tifa smirked. "Oh, I'll be fine, Jessie. Trust me."

I nodded. "Okay, then. Ready to rock?"

"Let's move," she nodded.

It would take us at least half an hour, maybe more, to travel across three sectors, but going on foot would also make it harder for Shinra or anyone else to spot us. Although Shinra mostly kept to the plate, I had seen a few soldiers here and there, mostly just passing through. But I'd kept my face away from them and stayed out of sight just the same. No sense taking any chances. They weren't looking for me, but if they saw me, they might realize who I was. I did look pretty different now, but I knew I couldn't make any assumptions.

We made our way stealthily down the street and into the outskirts, and in a few minutes, we reached the pillar complex. I shivered when I saw that thing, that huge column rising up toward the steel sky. I didn't know why at the time, but it frightened me. My eyes drifted up toward the middle, where the service platform was. The fifteenth floor. Lots of stairs led up to that place all the way from the ground, winding around and around past all the other levels.

The thirteenth stood out to me for no reason I understood. At least not then. I felt a chill race down my spine, as if I had looked at my own grave, and I swallowed and tore my gaze away in a hurry. I'd had a few dreams about this place now and then. Nightmares, more like. Fire and smoke everywhere. Bullets and blood, both of them mine. It was awful. I didn't understand what it meant. All I knew was that it scared the hell out of me. I shuddered as I kept moving.

"You okay?" Tifa asked.

I sighed. "I will be once we're past this thing. Just between you and me, it really gives me the willies."

She patted my shoulder. "You're not the only one."

"You too?" I said.

"Yeah," Tifa answered as we hurried onward. "It always feels like it's frowning down at me, you know?"

I did. "Yeah. I get that, Tifa. I really do."

"Was the one in Sector 5 the same way?" she asked.

"Funnily enough, no," I told her. "That one never bothered me. It's not as if I was there very long, but I hardly noticed it. I'm not sure why this one's so different, though."

As we reached the gate leading to the narrow road that would take us out of Sector 7, we slipped into the shadows a short distance from it and the two guards that were always stationed there. Normally, the gate was open at times during the day, but at this late hour it was locked up tight. And there was no way that we'd be able to convince the guards to open it up for us. The younger one could be reasonable, but his partner and senior officer was a real stickler for the rules. Totally anal about it, too. So we'd just have to sneak our way out.

Wasn't hard, actually. Tifa and I just grabbed hold of the chain link fence, climbed over it, and dropped quietly down to the other side. We also made damn sure not to get too close to the Train Graveyard. That was a mess we didn't need to get ourselves tangled up in. It was a maze of old, abandoned train cars around a ruined, empty warehouse. While I'd only been in Sector 7 a few months, I'd already heard rumors about the place. It was supposed to be haunted, and while I didn't believe that myself, I couldn't deny the place was spooky.

We hurried down the road toward Sector 6 before the guards could spot us. It took us longer to get there on foot than it had when Sam had first driven me here in his chocobo carriage that night. It felt like it had been another lifetime ago. I smiled at the memory of my little ride and the confrontation I'd had with Corneo before that. I hadn't told Tifa or the others about it, though. My troubled past was something I still kept mostly to myself. Old habits, you know.

At least Tifa and I wouldn't have to actually go near Wall Market. I wasn't in any rush to return there despite the friends I'd made. Andrea, Sam, and Madam M were an interesting and eccentric bunch, and they had helped me out just as I'd helped them. I hoped they were alright. It was a dangerous place to live in, and Corneo wasn't exactly what you'd call the forgiving sort. He was brutal.

After reaching Evergreen Park a little later, Tifa and I stopped for a quick breather and then took the longer but safer route toward Sector 5 instead of cutting through the collapsed expressway. That was fine with me. I didn't have any interest in running into Beck and his idiotic thugs again. Once had been more than enough.

I usually took this road on my trips across the slums for work, so I wasn't expecting any trouble. The most I'd ever seen out here was a few small clusters of eaters or hedgehog pies, but I was always able to avoid them easily enough even when pushing my cart along in front of me. If I did get noticed, I'd just toss a smoke bomb behind me and run until I got far enough away. I'd never actually had to fight them yet, and so far at least, there weren't very many.

Tonight, though, it wasn't monsters that got in our way, but rather, a group of bandits that suddenly slunk out of the shadows to get in our way. Four men sporting bright orange mohawks, sleeveless blue denim jackets over their bare chests, baggy pants, muddy boots, and a pair of bloodstained, fingerless red leather gloves. I'd never seen thugs like this around here before, and though I didn't know it yet, I'd be running into more of them in the future. A lot more.

"Vice bandits," Tifa murmured, her eyes narrowing.

"Who?" I asked, stopping alongside her.

She went on. "Brutish thugs that prowl parts of the slums. They've been pretty quiet lately, but I'm surprised you haven't run into them on your trips. This isn't really their territory, though."

"Oh, I've heard of them," I told her.

That moron Beck and his buddies had mentioned Vice during our encounter in the collapsed expressway. They'd been jealous of the gang, actually. And if they were starting to show up here, I'd have to be more careful when traveling for work. These guys didn't look too bright, but I could tell they were strong from their bunched muscles. I couldn't see their faces though, hidden as they were behind dirty cloth masks. But I did notice their eyes. Beady and cold.

One of the goons leered at us. "Evenin', ladies. This here's our road, so you're gonna have to pay up."

"One way or another…" another thug cackled.

I whipped out my gun. "Try it, asshole."

The first one swept his spiked club out and around in a flash, and I gasped as he knocked my weapon away. "If ya insist, bitch. Now, what's it gonna be? Gil or… havin' some fun?"

"We aren't paying," Tifa narrowed her eyes.

"You will, babe," he hefted his club. "Count on that. We're gonna be expanding our territory here. Got us a tough badass of a boss now, and so we're calling the shots here. Now do as we say! Or we'll take the both of ya in more ways than one."

She smirked. "I don't think so."

Before any of the Vice thugs could respond, Tifa moved, launching herself like a bullet at the nearest goon with her fists raised. She rained punches down on them, then backflipped with a rising somersault kick to his jaw that sent him flying away. Then she spun to the right as soon as she landed, knocking another thug's feet out from under him before driving her elbow into his gut. Tifa was a blur of motion as she moved, taking down the unfortunate men one after another, and for a moment all I could do was watch, totally stunned.

"Holy _shit…!" _I gaped, my jaw dropping open.

Tifa kept fighting, a whirlwind of punches and kicks as she landed blow after blow and easily evaded those of the bandits. She dove down low underneath the swing of a goon's knives and pummeled him in the chest, knocking the wind from his body before finishing him off with a dazzling uppercut. Then she smashed her fist into the face of the goon who'd been trying to grab her from behind.

When the last thug reached for her, Tifa used his own momentum to throw him over her shoulder, then sent him back into the dirt with a high, spinning roundhouse kick when he tried to lunge at her. When it was all over, Tifa was the only one still standing, looking in satisfaction at the men sprawled out all around her.

The fight—or rather, Tifa laying down a major beating—had lasted only about thirty seconds, and I still hadn't moved. She chuckled as she saw me staring at her in amazement. I was totally floored at seeing my friend dish out so much pain so effectively, and it took me a minute to finally recover my composure. Before I could say anything, though, she motioned for me to get moving. I retrieved my gun and followed her as she headed down the road to put as much distance as possible between us and the Vice thugs she'd just thrashed.

When we got to the outskirts of Sector 5, I couldn't keep quiet any longer. I flashed Tifa a wide grin. "That was totally _awesome,_ Tifa! You never told me you could kick so much ass!"

"You never asked," she smirked.

"Well, that's true," I laughed. "Guess _you_ ended up saving _me,_ huh? Sorry I didn't pitch in, by the way."

Tifa waved it off. "It's alright. I know I surprised you."

"Blew me away, more like," I admitted.

"Guess you're not worried about me anymore," she teased.

I shook my head. "Oh, no. Not at all! But now that you mention it, you think you could teach me to fight like that?"

She glanced at me. "Teach you?"

"Well, yeah! I can shove someone off me or drive a knee into a guy if he's trying to get too friendly, but I don't know much more than that. I'd love to be able to do what you do, though, Tifa. Aside from keeping me safe, it's totally badass! So what do ya say?"

"I'll have to think about it," Tifa answered. "I've never really taught anyone before, Jessie. No promises, but we can talk more about it after the mission and go from there, okay?"

I nodded. "Sure. Thanks for considering it, at least."

Tifa smiled. "You're welcome. I learned how to fight back home in my village a few years ago. Kept at ever since."

"Lucky for me," I chuckled.

"I'm just glad you're okay, Jessie," she told me, patting my shoulder fondly as we continued walking.

Staying outside town, Tifa and I moved on, following the road and taking the left fork when it split again not far past the train station. The one on the right would've led us to Aerith's church. As I thought about that, I figured that if she and Tifa ever met, they'd surely get along well. I wasn't sure if it would ever happen, though.

Tifa and I followed the narrow, junk-lined road toward Sector 4, a twisting trail of dirt bordered with empty, abandoned shacks as well as piles of assorted trash and debris. We were almost there, almost to our destination. We'd scout out the Shinra supply depot and find some way to get our fight for the planet going. My heart raced with excitement as we got closer, and I checked my handgun again to be sure it was loaded and ready to go. Then I slipped it back into the loop on the back of the belt hanging around my waist. All set.

Soon enough, the outskirts of Sector 4 came into view, more scrap heaps and dirt. We wouldn't have to actually go as far as the town itself, though. According to Barret's information, Shinra had built the supply depot farther from the undercity, probably to keep it away from prying eyes. Tifa and I both slowed down as we approached the area, slipping into the gloom and shadows and staying well out of sight. We'd made it this far, but that was only the beginning.

Now it was time for the real mission to start.


	29. TWENTY-EIGHT

**TWENTY-EIGHT**

Tifa and I crept slowly toward our target, staying carefully hidden behind a low mound of discarded junk. The supply depot was actually an unmarked warehouse tucked away in a quiet corner of Sector 4 well away from the undercity. There weren't any Shinra logos or anything to show what the place was. But the guards standing just outside the main doors were a dead giveaway with their dark blue uniforms and the gray metal helmets that covered their eyes. The troopers used the trio of red scanners mounted on the front to see.

"Looks like this is the place," I whispered.

Tifa nodded. "Yeah. But why would Shinra keep spare parts for the reactors down here instead of on the plate?"

I shrugged. "Dunno. Unless there's more here than that."

"You think they're hiding something?" she asked.

"Could be," I said, gazing at the warehouse. "But the only way we'll know for sure is to get inside and see for ourselves."

Tifa pointed. "Only two guards."

I saw what she was getting at. "Yeah. We can take them by surprise, knock them out, and slip right in. Then we'll have a look around to see what's so special about this place."

"Sounds like a—wait, what's going on?" she blinked.

There was suddenly a bit of a commotion now as two more guards approached the Shinra supply depot dragging a beaten and blindfolded man in between them. He was yelling and struggling against their grip, but the soldiers just ignored him. Tifa and I could hear him protesting and swearing from our hiding spot.

"I'm tellin' ya, I ain't done nothin'!" he said. "Let me go! Goddamn Shinra assholes! You can't do this!"

"Shut up!" one of the guards punched him.

The other guard looked at him as he collapsed with a pained grunt, still in his captors' grip. "This tonight's volunteer?"

"Yeah," one of them said. "Let us in."

"Understood. Just a minute," the first guard said.

I barely stifled a gasp when I got a better look at the guy they were holding. He was young, about my age, with short, light brown hair and a thin, matching beard. A slim build, but toned from all the hours that he spent outside working. The guy was a local, one I'd met before a few times. Not a bad sort, really, if a little boisterous.

"I know him!" I hissed.

Tifa stared at me. "You do? How?"

I went on. "He's one of my customers. Danny. Installed some filters for him and fixed his refrigerator a few weeks ago. He's a nice guy, paid well. Even hit on me a little. Not exactly soft-spoken, though. Or a very big fan of Shinra. He hates them."

"I think I see where this is going," Tifa said.

"He talks to anyone around town here who'll listen about how bad Shinra is and how greedy they are. A bit loudly sometimes, too. But he isn't the type to actually act against them. Danny's all bark and no bite, Tifa. Dunno what they did to him, but griping's about as far as he's ever gone. So there's gotta be another reason he's here."

She nodded. "What did that guard mean about volunteers?"

"I don't know," I sighed. "But I think we should find out. And help Danny if we can. We've got to save him."

"Right," Tifa agreed.

Just then, the first soldier tapped a code into a keypad mounted on the wall. There was a single beep once he entered the last number, and then the large double doors at the front of the building slid open. We'd have to move quickly to get in there, and Tifa and I both knew it. I saw her tensing herself to run, same as I was.

"Ready?" she asked.

I smirked as I took a tiny white ball from my belt pouch. "You bet! Got something that'll help, too—smoke bomb! Once I toss this puppy, we'll rush in and lay out the guards before they know we're there. Then we'll slip right into the warehouse."

Tifa chuckled. "Good idea! How long will we have?"

"It'll clear up in about thirty seconds," I answered. "So we'll have to haul ass as soon as it goes off."

She eyed the guards. "They're taking Danny inside."

I saw that Tifa was right. The two Shinra soldiers that had dragged him here got moving again as soon as the doors opened, and in spite of Danny's constant struggling, they quickly got him inside. I lifted up the smoke bomb and glanced at Tifa. We'd have to act fast, before the other two guards could lock the warehouse again.

She nodded. "Now!"

I stepped away out of our hiding spot and hurled the smoke bomb right at the guards' feet. It went off instantly, billowing clouds of smoke rising up amidst the confused and angry shouts of the guards. Tifa and I were already moving, using our ears to guide us, and while she struck the soldier on the left, I went after the one on the right. She didn't even make a sound, just a slight whooshing of air as she moved, followed by a pained groan by her target as he collapsed.

At the same time, I drove my gloved fist into the gut of the second guard. He grunted, and I used the noise to find his face and smash the side my gun barrel into it. The guy tumbled to the ground as Tifa and I raced into the supply depot. My assault hadn't had the finesse that hers did, but it got the job done nonetheless.

When we could see again, we were inside. The place was dark, with brooding concrete and metal walls. Tifa and I crept side by side down a short hall, the sounds of Danny's protests and struggling ahead of us. A few doors led off to the left right, but his captors never turned. Though we couldn't see them, we heard them easily enough. Still roughing him up by the sound of it. My fist tightened.

Tifa and I followed them into a larger room, a storage area of some kind. To either side of us were shelves of different parts. Some of them were just various pipes and valves, nothing remarkable. But there were also stranger things—rows of single-eyed helmets, metal gauntlets with what looked like claws, and reinforced kevlar suits, among other stuff. I had no idea what it was all for.

Looking again at the gauntlets, though, I froze as my eyes widened and a chill swept down my spine. I recognized them now, those deadly weapons. I had worked on them when I was still at Shinra, made them even stronger than they already were, but I had never known until now where the guys that used them were actually prepared before being put into service. So this was where it was done.

"Jessie?" Tifa whispered.

I shook off my momentary paralysis and got moving again. "Sorry, Tifa. This place just creeps me out."

She gave me a little smile. "That makes two of us."

We hurried on, spotting Danny and the guards at the far end of the room just as they hauled him through another doorway. His cries were abruptly cut off a moment later, and in the eerie silence that came after that, Tifa and I exchanged a worried glance. What was going on here? I didn't like the feel of this at all. And a dark suspicion was steadily rising in my mind. I didn't want too look too closely at it yet, though. I hoped I was wrong, but deep down, I knew I wasn't.

My fears were confirmed when we snuck into the next room. I led Tifa quietly behind a row of stacked metal crates emblazoned with the Shinra logo before anyone could see us, and then she and I peeked out from the side to see what was going on.

Danny was sedated and laying on some kind of operating table, the guards on either side of him. Two more had been waiting in the room, and between the four of them, they got him into one of those dark blue combat suits we'd seen earlier. Then, as I watched helplessly with wide, dismayed eyes, they fitted a pair of those clawed gauntlets on him, one over each arm. The armored bodysuit was, like I'd noted earlier, kevlar reinforced with tough black leather, encasing his feet in a pair of metal boots with long, sharp toe spikes.

"What are they doing to him…?" Tifa breathed.

I found myself nearly overwhelmed with guilt. "Come on! We can't let them finish! We've gotta—"

But before we could do anything, an older man wearing a white lab coat walked out of another room and over to the table, a syringe ready in his hand. A Shinra ID hung from his front pocket with a metal clip. He was from the Science Division. One of Hojo's cronies, no doubt. My lip curled at the very sight of him. And then I let out a little gasp when he plunged the needle into the side of Danny's neck, injecting him with a pale, greenish-yellow fluid of some kind. My hand flew to my mouth as I finally realized what they were doing to him.

They were turning him into a grunt.

Also called shock troopers, they were deployed to guard the mako reactors and other Shinra facilities around Midgar. I'd thought that the men who went through the procedure did it by choice. But now… now I knew the horrible truth. There'd been rumors around the slums about people disappearing in the middle of the night, mostly young men who were fit and strong but didn't have much in the way of family or friends or anyone else who'd miss them. I hadn't known whether I should trust the stories or not, but now I saw they were true.

Shinra was kidnapping people from all over the slums and twisting them into brutal soldiers. What was that stuff the scientist had injected Danny with? I'd thought grunts had simply been Shinra soldiers who'd chosen to go through special treatments to enhance their strength and speed and use these high-tech suits and weapons. Not like this, people just grabbed off the street or out of their beds and homes, dragged into a cold operating room, and filled with drugs.

And I had helped arm them.

Rage, sadness, and guilt swirled around inside me, and as much as I wanted to leap into action, I couldn't move. All I could do was watch, my hand still over my mouth. Danny twitched as the chemicals entered his body, and he thrashed beneath the restraints that bound him to the table, thick straps around his arms and legs.

After the Shinra scientist withdrew the needle from Danny's neck, two of the guards fitted one of those round metal helmets over his face. It completely covered his entire head, with three tube-like horns on top of it. The large, single red eye was dark, probably since Danny was still unconscious. I couldn't bring myself to think of him as what they were making him into. I didn't want to do that.

"Alright," the scientist said. "One less troublemaker down here. Be sure to have him sent up to Reactor 1. Scarlet wants the defenses there beefed up before her next inspection."

One of the guards nodded. "Understood. We'll—"

Suddenly, the light on Danny's helmet flared to life, and he tore out of his restraints, his clawed arm slashing across the guard's throat in an instant. The others fell back, shouting in confusion as Danny sprang to his feet and started firing particle beams at them. The scientist backed away, his eyes wide as he saw what was going on.

"You idiots!" he yelled. "I told you to get the dose right! You didn't give him enough to keep him out! He's loose!"

Danny whirled around. The man tried to run, but he didn't get far. Danny leaped onto him and started clawing, tearing the scientist apart as his screams filled the air. Tifa and I moved at once, rushing into the midst of the chaos. She went after the soldiers, fists and feet flying, as I drew my gun and focused on Danny. Could I reach him? Could we still bring him back? Or was it already too late?

"Danny!" I yelled. "Stop, please! Don't do this!"

He answered with his particle beams, energy bolts flying at me as I quickly dove aside. I didn't want to do what I knew had to be done. So I kept calling to him, trying to calm him and help him remember who and what he was. There had to be another way besides killing him. My heart was pounding as I moved, and as she took out the guards one by one, Tifa glanced over her shoulder at me.

"Jessie!" she said. "He's gone. He isn't Danny anymore. He's not the guy you knew. We have to stop him!"

I shook my head. "I can bring him back!"

Tifa took down one of the guards with a backward thrust kick. "It's too late! There's only one way we can help him now. You know that just as well as I do. We have to take him down!"

"Danny!" I tried again, rolling away from his swiping claws. "Don't you recognize me? It's Jessie! You gave me vegetables from your garden and offered to buy me a drink, remember?"

"Jessie…" Tifa sighed as she fought the last two guards.

I kept at it. "Your fridge was breaking down and you thought you'd lose all your cold food, but I fixed it! Installed that water filter, too. You said I was the prettiest repair girl you'd ever seen, Danny. Couldn't take your eyes off me! I know I turned you down, but I have to admit, I _was_ tempted to take you up on your offer."

He just kept attacking, firing mindlessly at me again while Tifa was busy dealing with the last two guards. I had my gun in both hands, but I didn't want to shoot him. Danny wasn't leaving me much of a choice, though. He suddenly jumped on me, sharp claws a blur as he knocked me flat onto my back, and I only had a split second to act. Pressing the barrel firmly against his chest, I stared up at the cold, bright red sensor scope on his face as tears flooded my eyes.

"_Danny!"_ I yelled.

I fired, again and again, thunder in my ears as I emptied the entire clip into him and ignored the stinging pain in my arms from where he had slashed me. Danny's body shuddered with every shot, and then he slumped limply on top of me as the chamber finally clicked. I dropped my gun and just lay there for a minute, not wanting to believe what I'd just done. That I'd had to kill my friend.

Tifa ran over to me. "Jessie!"

Slowly, I sat up and pushed Danny's body off me. He landed on his back as Tifa joined me, and the guards all lay sprawled out on the floor nearby. I ignored her at first, grasping Danny's helmet and unfastening the clasps that held it in place. Then I pulled it off him and tossed it to the side. I just couldn't leave him with it on. I didn't want to see him as the terrible thing Shinra had turned him into.

"Danny…" I murmured, still crying.

He was dead, his eyes staring sightlessly up at the ceiling. I reached out a trembling hand and closed them as Tifa gently laid one of hers on my shoulder. I couldn't move at first after that, couldn't even think. All I was aware of was that Danny was dead, and I had killed him. I hadn't been as close to him as I was to Biggs and Wedge, but he'd still been my friend. He had grown the best veggies in his little garden, and I'd found his flirting cute even though I hadn't been interested.

I looked up at Tifa. "Are you sure… this was the only way?"

She knelt down next to me. "I'm sorry, Jessie…"

"Help me, will you?" I asked, taking hold of one of his gauntlets. "I don't wanna just leave him like this, Tifa. He's as human as you and me, and that's how I'm gonna remember him."

Tifa nodded. "Of course."

Together, we took off both his clawed gauntlets. There wasn't much we could do about the suit, so we left it. He looked human enough now that I thought I could accept what had happened. I held his hand for a moment, then gently set it down again, anger and resolve filling me. As Tifa and I stood up, I knew exactly what I had to do. I flipped open my belt pouch and took out a pair of raspberries.

"Here," I handed them to Tifa. "Two in here, and I'll toss two more in the next room. Then we run. This won't stop the production of these things, unfortunately, but it oughta slow it down for a while. It's time to give Shinra a message from Avalanche!"

Her hand covered mine. "Loud and clear, Jessie."

As we backed away toward the door, Tifa pulled the pins out of the raspberries one by one, then tossed them into the middle of the room. We ran back the way we'd come, racing through the large storeroom as I pulled out two more of my special grenades, yanked out the pins with my teeth, and threw one to either side of us.

The explosions started just as we darted through the doorway and into the entry hall. We kept running as the inferno grew and the other pair of raspberries went off. Fire and smoke rose up behind us, and we heard thunder in our ears. Tifa and I made it back outside just seconds before the blasts ripped the outer doors right off their hinges. We dove to the ground as they flew overhead and crashed nearby in a smoking, ruined heap of burnt and twisted metal.

Just we stood up, we heard a man's voice. "What in the hell!? We've got intruders! Grab 'em!"

"Shinra soldiers!" Tifa yelled. "Run!"

I winked at them as I followed her. "It's been a slice, but… gotta go! Better luck next time, fellas!"

The soldier pointed at us. "After 'em!"

We'd been seen by a whole squad, a dozen soldiers at least. Way too many to fight. They must've just come back from a patrol—no way that Shinra would leave a place like this unguarded, especially with what we had found out about it. Spare parts, my ass. At least Tifa and I had shut the place down for a while, and hopefully that would keep others from suffering Danny's fate. But I promised myself that if I ever had to fight any of those grunts again, I'd put them down quick, without hesitation. It was the least I could do for them.

I reached into my belt pouch. "Shit! Not good!"

"What is it?" Tifa asked as we ran.

"I'm outta smoke bombs!" I answered. "I knew I should've brought more than one. Damn!"

She led me past a mound of junk. "Your grenades?"

I shook my head. "No good, Tifa. Those guards are too close. We'd be caught in the blast right along with them!"

"Any bright ideas?" she grimaced.

"Thinking, thinking…" I murmured, trying look around as we ran and did our best to avoid getting shot.

Tifa yanked me out of the line of fire. "Think faster!"

"I'm trying!" I called, urging her onward.

We raced through the Sector 4 outskirts, weaving our way through the dirt trails with those Shinra soldiers chasing right after us. Gunfire erupted all around us, and we used as much of the fallen junk for cover as we could. Still, we couldn't keep this up forever. We had to figure out a way to lose our pursuers before one of us got hurt or worse. I already was, my arms still stinging from the slashes I'd gotten during the battle with Danny, but it wasn't too bad.

I glanced behind us to see the guards firing again, and on instinct, I grabbed Tifa and pulled her out of the way, diving to the ground just as the bullets flew past us. When we landed and rolled aside, there was a hollow clanging sound underneath us and the feel of metal amidst all the dirt. And I suddenly knew how we were gonna get outta this mess. I let go of Tifa and started brushing the dirt and bits of trash out of the way as fast as I could, searching for the edges of what I knew was there. She glanced back at our pursuers.

"What are you doing?" Tifa said. "They're almost here!"

I kept working. "Trust me! I found a way out! Gimme a hand, Tifa! This sucker's gonna be heavy!"

She looked at what I was doing. "I see it! Hang on!"

Together, we quickly got the manhole cover cleared off. I heard the soldiers coming and more bullets flying, but I focused on what we had to do. The cover was round, about three feet across, and heavy. While I took one end, Tifa took the other, and we lifted it off as fast as we could and quickly set it aside. Just as I'd hoped, a rusted iron ladder led down into the sewers. Not the most pleasant escape route, but I wasn't about to complain. Beggars couldn't be choosers.

"You first, Jessie," Tifa insisted.

I knew better than to argue, so while she whipped up her fists and took down a couple guards who had gotten close enough, I went ahead and started climbing down the ladder. The thumping sounds of a fight came from above me, and the pained groans of the guards told me Tifa was kicking ass and taking names.

Just I splashed down into the channel, I saw her hurrying down the ladder. The angry shouts of the remaining soldiers were getting closer, and I hoped they wouldn't try and come after us down here. This place was a maze, though, and we stood a good chance of losing them if they did. I eyed the ladder as Tifa stepped off it.

"Think they'll try to follow us?" I wondered.

She smirked, then spun around with a swift, hard roundhouse kick and smashed the lower half of the ladder to pieces. They clattered onto the damp stone floor in a pile of shattered junk as I watched in stunned surprise and approval, an admiring grin spreading across my face. I _so_ wanted to be able to do cool stuff like that.

I laughed. "Guess that answers that question."

"Sure does," Tifa chuckled. "So… know the way home?"

"Uh… sort of," I told her.

She blinked as we started walking. "Sort of?"

"Never been down here myself," I admitted, "but I've looked over a few blueprints. I _think_ I know the way…"

"I hope so…" Tifa said.

I smiled as reassuringly as I could. "Don't worry! The sewers go all the way across the slums—they're all connected—so we can take them right back home. We're just outside Sector 5 now, so if we keep heading clockwise, we'll get there eventually."

She laughed. "Okay, then. Guess you're our guide, Jessie."

"Just leave it to me, Tifa!" I cheered.

The sound of dripping water echoed throughout the tunnels as we went on, and the smell was totally gross. Better than getting caught and shot by those guards, though. At least they weren't a problem anymore. It would probably take us at least an hour to get back to Sector 7, but it didn't look to be a very eventful trip. Lucky us. We'd both had our fill of excitement for today. It would be a long, if smelly, journey back home, but we had finally put the danger behind us.

Or so we thought.


	30. TWENTY-NINE

**TWENTY-NINE**

Tifa and I made our way through the dank, winding sewer tunnels as best we could. We crossed into the section underneath Sector 5 after a while, sticking to the tiled stone floor as much as possible and staying well clear of the muck that ran down many of the channels. I guided us with what I knew of the place as well as the flashlight I kept in my belt pouch. Wasn't big, but it made up for it with how bright it could get. At the moment, it was set somewhere in the middle.

"So, Tifa…" I asked as we went along. "How do you think Barret'll take it when we tell him about our mission and what happened? Think he'll be pleased with us? Or pissed?"

She thought for a minute. "I'd say fifty-fifty."

I nodded. "Sounds about right. I know he won't like hearing about what Shinra's been doing to people. But… you think he'll be okay with what happened, with what we did?"

"He'll understand," Tifa assured me. "You did fine, Jessie."

"Did I do the right thing?" I wondered.

She caught me gently by the arm and pulled me to a stop. "Yeah. It was too late for Danny. Whatever they put in him, it fried his mind. All he knew was to kill. We had to stop him."

"I guess you're right," I sighed. "I just wish there'd been some other way, that I could've reached him somehow."

Tifa slid an arm around my shoulder. "I know. So do I. But you still helped him, brought him peace. I think he'd be glad for that. And I can tell you that Barret'll be proud of you."

I gazed at her. "He will?"

"You bet," she smiled. "We struck a blow against Shinra today, and you saved your friend from a terrible fate. I think that's pretty good for your first Avalanche mission, don't you?"

I grinned. "Yeah, I guess it is, isn't it? Thanks, Tifa."

"Anytime," she said.

After giving my shoulder a gentle squeeze, she let go, then reached into her pocket and took out a small vial with a pale blue liquid inside. A healing potion. Tifa glanced at the slashes on my arms and handed it to me. I didn't take it at first, not wanting to use it yet if we could avoid it. And they still tasted utterly gross.

"Don't worry about me, I'm fine," I said, giving her a cheeky laugh. "Doesn't hurt all that much, really."

Tifa pressed it into my hand. "Take it, Jessie."

"But what if it's our only one?" I asked.

"It is, but I want you to use it anyway," she insisted. "We're far from home, and you need to take care of yourself."

I shook my head. "I'm telling you, Tifa, I'm—"

Just then, I winced and stumbled as the pain flared up. It stung me like a thousand bees jabbing at my arms. Danny'd gotten in quite a few cuts on both of them when he had pounced on me, and I had done my best to ignore how much they hurt ever since—getting away from that pack of Shinra soldiers and staying alive had been _just_ a bit higher of a priority for me than seeing to my injuries. But we were safe, at least for now, and on our way home. Maybe Tifa was right.

She caught me and held me steady. "Easy, now. Sit down, Jessie. We can rest for a while. Drink the potion, and while you're doing that, I'm gonna take a good look at you."

"Guess I'm in no position to argue with ya," I chuckled.

"Nope," Tifa laughed.

After giving me the potion and carefully helping me have a seat on the floor at the base of the wall, she knelt in front of me and examined first one arm and then the other. I couldn't resist making a face when I drank the potion, but it did ease the pain a bit. As the slashes started to heal up a little, Tifa took a cloth from one of the flat little pouches that hung from the sides of her black leather skirt and cleaned the blood off my arms. There was more than a little.

"How's that?" she asked.

I gave her a weak smile. "Better, thanks. But that's not gonna wash out, you know. Blood's tough like that."

Tifa smirked. "I've got plenty more back home."

"I'm not surprised," I said. "Guess I'll have to work on these gloves, too. Danny got me pretty good."

The leather bracers that went up to my elbows had gotten slashed, but I figured I could fix them easily enough. The shops in town had all kinds of crafting materials including neat bundles of leather and cloth, and I still had the tools I'd used to make my outfit.

"You sure you're okay after… what happened?" Tifa asked.

I nodded. "I don't like it, but I'll be fine. Knowing he's at peace now instead of being used as a mindless, rampaging killing machine helps a lot. I did everything I could for him."

"You did, Jessie," she agreed. "And he'd be grateful."

I knew he would. "I think so, too. Anyway, will we be alright? That was our only potion. I should've brought more."

Tifa shrugged. "This was supposed to be just a scouting mission. I didn't think we'd actually end up doing any fighting, so I only took one. Definitely gonna bring more next time, though."

"Me too," I said. "Never know what'll happen, huh?"

"Right. So stay close," she said.

I rubbed my arm. "Sure. You too, Tifa."

"Oh, I will," she promised.

When she was finished, Tifa sat down next to me, and we rested in the gloom for a while. The flashlight lay on the ground next to me, and I noticed that there were actually a few lamps on the brick walls and up above the doorways in places down here. The light was dim, but it was enough that we could see. So while we took our little break, I picked up my flashlight and put it away. Better to save the battery for if the lamps went out than use it when it wasn't needed. We chatted for a while, and it did feel good to rest for a bit.

"Ready to go?" Tifa asked after ten minutes or so.

I gave her a thumbs up. "You bet!"

So we stood up and got moving again, passing through more halls and smaller chambers. We also had to turn a few valves here and there to move some water out of the way when we crossed a channel or two, but between us, there wasn't anything we couldn't manage. I figured we were getting close to Sector 6 by now.

We were just passing into a larger room about twenty minutes later when I heard a loud scuttling sound and three strange creatures surged toward us across the damp stone floor. They were like giant crabs, with red shells and huge pincers as they moved about on six legs. I slapped a fresh clip into my gun as Tifa raised her fists.

"Scissorclaws," I told her as I took aim. "Heard about 'em from one of my customers who used to do maintenance down here. They like to eat dead bodies, though they're not above going after fresh meat when they can get it. Pretty territorial, too."

She nodded. "Let's show them we're not on the menu!"

"You said it, Tifa!" I grinned.

While she launched herself at one of the scissorclaws, punching at its tough shell until it cracked, I opened fire at another one. I aimed for the soft spots, its mouth and eyes. It squealed as the bullets tore into it, and a few more shots put it down for the count.

Tifa took out her target a moment later, driving her foot down into its broken carapace in a diving kick that left the monster as just an icky mess on the floor. The third scissorclaw closed the distance between it and me before I could fire again and took a swipe at me with its claws, but I managed to dart aside and avoid getting hit. Between my gunfire and Tifa's fists and feet, we beat it without much trouble, shooting and smashing it to pieces in just a few seconds.

"Whew!" I laughed when the fight was over. "Exciting, huh? Don't have much experience fighting monsters. Usually I just run if I see 'em when I'm out on my trips."

Tifa smiled. "You did fine, Jessie."

I put my gun back on my belt. "Thanks. My heart's still racing, you know? I hope we don't see more of those things."

"You'll be okay," she said. "Anything else live down here?"

I thought for a minute. "Sahagins. Big things like turtles, only they walk on two feet like us and have a bad attitude. They stay hidden most of the time, though, so hopefully we won't run into any. Pretty tough in a fight, too, from what I've heard."

She took my shoulder. "So are we, Jessie. Don't forget that."

"_You_ are," I chuckled. "I'm just trying to keep up."

"You're doing better than you think," she smirked. "After all, it's not every girl that can hold her own against monsters and Shinra soldiers. So don't go selling yourself short."

I winked as we got moving again. "Guess you're right. Who am I to argue with the badass barmaid of Sector 7?"

We shared a good laugh at that as we made our way down another tunnel. We were over halfway home, and it wasn't long before we came to an open area with a big canal and a narrow bridge stretching over it. Easy enough to cross, though, and soon we were on the far side, Sector 5 safely behind us. So far, so good.

"Well, here we are," I said. "The Sector 6 sewers. More of the same, really. Just gotta keep going 'till we hit the trunk line. Then, soon as we cross that, we'll be in Sector 7."

"Sure we won't get lost?" Tifa wondered.

I shook my head. "We're heading in the right direction. Nothing to worry about! And if in doubt, just follow your nose! The air's probably fresher the closer we get to the outside."

"Good to know," she said.

"Think we should try to find a way outta here and make the rest of the trip home on the surface?" I asked.

Tifa thought about it. "No. If those Shinra soldiers are still looking for us up there, the last thing we want is to lead them back to Sector 7. Better to finish the trip down here."

"Got it," I agreed. "Let's go on and do that, then."

We hurried forward, making our way further through the maze of tunnels and chambers that lay sprawled out underneath the slums. The smells of sewage and muck still hung in the air, and drain pipes opened along the walls every so often, slick with moisture. As we went along, I made sure to keep us well away from the corridors that ran below Wall Market. I didn't wanna have a reunion with Abzu, especially here on its home turf. That wouldn't go over well.

After about fifteen minutes, we had to stop again. We had come to a dead end, a larger room with no other tunnels leading away from it. I looked around, but the only other way out was a wide channel cutting across the floor. It led into another passageway to our right, and it was filled with murky brown water.

"Well, this is a problem…" I sighed.

Tifa knelt next to the edge. "It's not deep. If we follow this, we may be able to find a way to get to the trunk line."

I joined her. "You could be right, Tifa. It's worth a try."

There was a ladder nearby, probably for workers when the channel wasn't filled, and we used it to descend into the swirling, dirty water. It was fairly warm and went up to our waists. The smell was worse down here, but I did my best to ignore it. Tifa went first as we made our way up the channel and into the darkened passageway. We could still see as we went in, dim light from the room at the far end guiding us along. It wasn't the most pleasant trip, though.

"Ugh!" I said, waving my hand in front of my face. "First thing I'm gonna do when we get back is take a nice, long, hot bath. Maybe two. If Biggs were here, he'd probably freak out."

Tifa chuckled. "Oh, I'm sure he would, Jessie. You know how he is. And as for me, I'm heading straight into the shower. I think this is one mission neither of us is ever gonna forget."

I laughed. "You got that right!"

"I guess we can't really get on Marlene for jumping in mud puddles anymore, either," she snickered.

"Nope!" I giggled. "Not after this mess."

Tifa smirked at me over her shoulder. "And I'm not gonna forget it was your idea to come down here, either."

I grinned. "Hey, I got us out of a jam, didn't I?"

"Can't deny that," she said.

"I'll always have your back, Tifa," I winked, pointing at her.

She gave me a thumbs up. "You too, Jessie."

We emerged in the next room just a few minutes later. The channel widened into a large pool, and there was another ladder along the edge on the left side. Another tunnel led further onward from a doorway on the wall behind it. Looked like we were in the home stretch. The trunk line wasn't much further. And once we crossed it and got into Sector 7, we could start looking for a way out.

Tifa climbed up the ladder first, and I was just about to follow her when I noticed ripples swirling near me in the water. We were close to the mouth of the channel where it widened into the pool itself, and for a moment, I just stood there and watched.

"Everything alright?" Tifa asked as she reached the top.

I shrugged. "I think so. Just watching the current. I felt it ever since we got in. Seems stronger here, though."

Curious, I waded into the pool a little bit to check it out. The floor sloped downward quickly, and the water got a lot deeper. It went nearly up to my shoulders after only a few steps. The ladder was close enough that I wasn't worried, though, and I did know how to swim. As I stood there and watched the ripples, I decided it was definitely gonna be two baths when I got home. Maybe three. And I'd have to give my clothes a good wash, too. It was _very_ smelly in here.

"You coming?" Tifa asked.

I started to head back. "Yeah. There's nothing he—"

Suddenly, a nest of slimy, reptilian arms grabbed me from behind. I shrieked as they pulled me backward and plunged me completely into the water amidst a jumble of hissing and croaking. Dark forms were all around me, clawing at me and pulling me down. My lungs burned as I fought to free myself and reach the surface.

The sahagins were too strong, though, and I felt myself weakening as they dragged me toward the depths. Everything started to fade away like a dream that was almost over. Eventually, I stopped struggling, and my gaze locked on the surface that I couldn't hope to reach. Everything started getting dark, and my thoughts jumbled together in a mush as I grew sleepy and my air finally ran out.

But then something splashed into the water, slim and familiar as it tore like a bolt of lightning through the sahagins. It threw them back in a blazing flurry of punches and kicks that the water barely slowed, then grabbed me and hauled me back to the surface. Before I knew it, I was out of the water and laying on my stomach on the stone tile floor above the channel, gasping in one sweet gulp of air after another as I coughed up water and realized I was still alive.

"Jessie!" Tifa called, kneeling next to me. "Are you okay!?"

It was moment before I could answer. "I… I think so. Had no idea those things… were in there."

I was soaked, we both were, water dripping off of us onto the floor, and I realized that Tifa had dove in after me and gotten me out. Slowly, I reached out and took her hand as my breathing finally steadied and I started to feel more like myself again. The worry didn't leave Tifa's face for a second, but she didn't let go, either.

"Can you walk?" she asked. "We'd better get moving. The sahagins might decide to come after us."

I chuckled and nodded as I slowly got to my hands and knees. "I'll manage, Tifa. I'm the guide, after all. You'd be lost without me! So don't you worry. I'll get us home."

Tifa helped me stand. "Then let's go."

But before we could take a step, the water suddenly erupted behind us as the sahagins leaped out of it. Tifa and I whirled around to see six of them jumping toward us, their razor-sharp tridents grasped in their hands. We backed away as they landed, Tifa to the left as I went right. I quickly drew my gun and hoped that the water hadn't clogged it up as I took aim at the nearest of the turtle monsters.

Tifa knocked one right out of the air with a hard roundhouse kick, then sent another one flying with a quick chain of punches that ended with a brutal uppercut. At the same time, I fired at my target and hit it, but the bullets just sparked off the sahagin's tough shell as it charged at me and thrust its trident toward my heart.

"Shit!" I swore as I dove aside.

Dodging its next attack, I fired again, this time at the thing's head. It croaked and fell when the bullets hit it, dead before it hit the ground. But another sahagin struck me across the chest before I could get away, slamming the side of its trident against my armored vest and knocking me flat on my back onto the floor. Then it jumped up above me with a hissing yell and dove straight down, its trident aimed right at me. I had only a split second to act, so I shot it in the head several times as quick I could and then rolled out of the way.

The monster crashed onto the spot where I'd been laying. It was as dead as the first one I'd killed as I got back up and looked around. Only two of the sahagins left, and Tifa had them both pretty well handled. A blinding shower of punches and kicks took one of them down a second later. As the last one fell back under her relentless assault, I didn't think I'd even get a hit in on it before the fight was over.

But then, four more sahagins suddenly sprang from the water, each with their weapons ready. I took aim again, but when I tried to fire, all I got was a hollow clicking. I tried shooting them again, but still no joy. Two of the monsters turned toward me as I kept fumbling with my gun and struggled desperately to get it working. Seemed like the water had gotten to it after all. I shook it, but once again, it didn't work, and I was out of time. Two of the sahagins came after me.

Quickly slipping my gun back into my belt, I brought up my fists. I didn't have the training Tifa did, but I could throw a few punches. As I braced myself for the attack, I saw one of the other sahagins reach back with its arm as it got ready to hurl its trident straight at Tifa. She hadn't seen it yet, though, as busy as she was with fighting the other monsters. And then the trident was flying toward her.

My jaw dropped. "Tifa, look out!"

I was already moving, ignoring the sahagins who'd been closing in on me, and ran right for her. Tifa's eyes widened as she saw me coming, and just a split second later, I was there, shoving her back and sending her sprawling onto the floor out of harm's way. I turned just in time to gasp and cry out as the trident punched its way into my stomach, pain exploding inside me like nothing I'd ever known.

"_Jessie!" _Tifa yelled.

The trident's three prongs were buried in my abdomen, just below the bottom of my armored vest. I staggered back, my own eyes wide as they rose up to meet the cold gaze of the sahagin ahead of me. When it got close enough, it tore the trident out of me with a single, rough pull that made me scream in agony. Then my legs just gave way underneath me, and I collapsed, falling to the floor, my hand clutching my stomach as I lay helplessly on my back.

The sahagin walked over and raised its trident over its head, ready to stab me through the heart this time and finish the job. Tough as my armor was, I knew it couldn't possibly stop a thrust like that. The tines were too long and too sharp, glistening with my blood, and the sahagin was just too strong. Its arm started to move.

But the blow never landed.

I heard an angry roar, and then Tifa was there, slamming the thing with one ferocious punch after another. She shattered the sahagin's jaw with one blow and crushed its skull with another, kicking it away from me with a devastating somersault. She kept on fighting as I lay there on the floor, wet and bleeding, and soon she had killed or driven back the rest of the monsters. I was barely aware of it, though, hurting like I was and leaking like a sieve. Pain was all I knew.

Tifa was back just seconds later, kneeling next to me and pressing a fresh cloth against my abdomen, her hand over mine. "Here, hold onto this. Can you move at all? We need to hurry."

"I'll try," I winced.

With her help, I slowly sat up, my face coated with sweat. Then she gently pulled me to my feet. They were unsteady as I tried to stand, but Tifa was already there, draping my free arm around her shoulders and sliding hers around my waist to support me. My legs felt all wobbly as I leaned on her, but I managed to stay upright.

"That's it," Tifa encouraged me as we started moving. "You're doing fine, Jessie. Just hold onto me, alright? I'm going to get you out of here as fast as I can. That's a promise."

I gave her a shaky smile. "Gonna… hold you to that."

She smirked as we hurried into the tunnel. "You'd better! And stay awake, you hear? You're still our guide."

"Right," I nodded, my breathing heavy. "A little… stick in the gut… by some turtle with an attitude… isn't gonna do me in. Still, I… I knew we should've… held onto that potion."

"I've got plenty more at home," Tifa said.

I knew that. "Yeah… we're not that far away now…"

Suddenly, there was more splashing behind us, and we turned for a moment to see more sahagins jumping out of the water, tridents ready. I obviously wasn't in any shape to fight, and there were at least a dozen of the monsters, too many for Tifa to handle alone. They were coming toward us, and fast. Then I had an idea.

"Tifa!" I told her. "Grenade… in my belt pouch. Grab it and toss it! Hurry! Before they get too close…"

She did as I told her, using her free hand to open up my belt pouch and take out a raspberry. Then, still holding me, she pulled out the pin with her teeth and let fly as we ran down the tunnel. Well, Tifa ran, and I just stumbled along with her as the raspberry went off behind us only seconds later. Thunder filled our ears along with the terrified gurglings of the sahagins before they were abruptly cut off.

It was quiet once the dust had settled, and we moved on. Each step was an effort, every one of them more difficult than the last, and soon I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open. But Tifa kept talking to me, asking me for directions and doing whatever she could to keep me awake. Even so, I knew shock was setting in, and before long, the cloth I held over my stomach was soaked and dark red.

"I-Is it me, or did it get a bit c-colder in here?" I murmured. "Feels l-like the inside of your fridge, T-Tifa."

I was vaguely aware of her worried gaze as she looked at me. "Hold on, Jessie. We're almost there. Now tell me, which way? This corridor's led us to an intersection. Right or left?"

I tried to think, but my mind was all fuzzy. "I… right, I think. Or is it left? Sorry, it's just… so hard to concentrate."

"It's okay," Tifa assured me. "Just try. Stay with me."

With every bit of willpower I could manage, I focused my jumbled thoughts. "Right, Tifa. Definitely right."

We moved on, but as we went and the bleeding continued, I had to fight every second to keep my mind alert. I felt dizzy, light-headed, and weak, and I couldn't stop shivering. But somehow I kept moving, a step at a time, one stumbling foot in front of the other. Tifa was always with me, and she kept me going, constantly urging me not to give up. And I didn't intend to. I was gonna live.

"You can do this," she told me. "Keep going, okay? Can you tell me where we are now? It's a room with another big canal and a bridge in it. Like when we left Sector 5."

I saw it, alright. "T-T-Trunk line, Tifa. We cross this a-and we're in S-S-Sector 7. Almost h-home."

She nodded. "Alright, Jessie. Let's go."

"Right here… w-with you," I said, my teeth chattering. "I g-guess I should've stayed away f-from that p-p-pool, huh? A-Always was w-way too c-c-curious for my own g-good."

Tifa brushed it off as we started across the bridge. "Let's not worry about that now. What's important is that we get you home. It's bed rest for you for at least a week. No arguing."

"Y-Yes, Mother," I quipped.

"You always have a joke, don't you?" she chuckled.

I managed a weak laugh. "K-Keeps my spirits up. Yours t-t-too, I'm guessing. W-We've… m-made it this f-far, right? Remind me to… t-tell you the one a-about the… t-tonberry and the ch-ch-chocobo. Y-You'll laugh your a-a-ass off, Tifa."

"Tell me when you're feeling better," she smiled.

I definitely would. "S-Sure thing. Probably for the b-best. I f-feel so out of it I'd m-mess up the p-p-punchline."

Tifa smirked. "You could still pull it off, Jessie."

"Thanks for the v-vote of confidence," I laughed as we made it over to the far side of the canal. "B-But I think I'll wait 'till my m-mind's not so s-swimmy, if it's a-all the same t-to you."

She guided us toward the next tunnel. "Sure thing. So… Sector 7 at last. Now we just need to find a ladder, right?"

I tried to think. "Yeah… but be c-careful, though."

"Some of them aren't safe?" Tifa asked.

"W-Well, if I… if I remember right… a f-f-few lead smack into the middle of the T-Train Graveyard," I answered. "D-Definitely _not _where we w-wanna go. So stay to the l-left, Tifa."

She nodded. "Left. We'll skip the ghosts this time."

I laughed at that even though it hurt. "G-Good one, Tifa. You're… not so b-bad yourself… you know."

"Learned from the best," she chuckled.

We went on, making our way through the winding maze of tunnels and corridors under Sector 7. I was stumbling more, and I only stayed on my feet because Tifa was holding me up. My head drooped forward, and it was all I could do to keep the blackness from overtaking me. But it was getting closer. So tired… I felt like taking a nice, long nap. There was nothing like a good snooze. And my bed was so comfy. I'd found a really soft set of linens to go on it. So sleepy…

"Jessie! Wake up!"

My eyes flew open. "Huh? W-What happened?"

"You passed out for a minute there," Tifa said. "Scared me to death. I thought I'd lost you, Jessie."

"I'm… still kickin'…" I assured her.

She flashed me a wry grin. "Better be. You saved my life back there, you know. When the sahagin threw that trident. You took the blow for me. And I'm not gonna forget it. Thank you."

"T-Told ya I'd have your b-b-back," I smiled. "Besides, you s-saved me too. D-Dove in after me when those things… p-p-pulled me under. Isn't that what s-sisters are supposed to d-do?"

"It sure is," Tifa agreed.

I pointed. "L-Look, Tifa! Our t-ticket outta here!"

"I see it," she said. "Come on!"

It was an iron ladder, damp with moisture and attached to the wall at the far end of the tunnel we were in, and it rose all the way up to the surface. We hurried over there—well, actually, Tifa pretty much carried me the whole way—and soon we were looking up at our exit from this smelly, dangerous place. I sagged weakly against Tifa and tried to see if the manhole cover was still there, but my mind was trying to run away from me again and I couldn't focus.

I tried to shake it off. "Is it… is it c-clear?"

"The cover's still in place, but don't worry. I can get it off," Tifa told me. "Can you climb the ladder?"

"You bet…" I smirked. "It'd be s-silly to get this far and n-not make it across the f-finish line. I-I'll be… r-right behind you, T-Tifa. D-Don't worry about m-me. I'll k-keep up."

After I had taken hold of the ladder, she carefully let go of me and started to climb. But as I moved to follow her, letting go of my stomach to grip the rungs with both hands, I glanced back the way we'd come. A thin trail of blood ran back down the tunnel, and drops of it were likely all along the route we'd taken to get here from the sahagins' lair. I didn't want to think about how much I'd lost. As I held onto the ladder, Tifa's voice came down to me, urging me onward.

"You can do it, Jessie," she said. "I know it hurts, but you're strong. Take it one rung at a time and you'll be fine."

I did as she said, gritting my teeth against the pain as I climbed up the ladder. Every unsteady step was a monumental effort, and I felt the blood still leaking out of me as I moved. I had to rest with every rung I reached, but I never did stop. Tifa kept encouraging me, and I clung to her voice as if was the only thing keeping me awake and alive. Maybe it was. By the time I finally caught up to her, I was totally exhausted. But I held on while she pushed the cover off.

"Did… d-did we make it?" I asked, panting.

She climbed outside and then turned around and reached down to help me. "Yeah! We're home, Jessie."

I took her outstretched hand. "Awesome…"

Tifa pulled me out, and then I was laying flat on the ground on my back, gazing up at the underside of the plate and the pillar rising up to meet it. Looked like we were on the road right in front of the complex. Tifa and I were both still wet, and I was clutching my stomach again as I heard her dialing on her phone.

As much as I wanted to, I couldn't go any further. I just didn't have the strength to move. Fog filled my mind, and my eyelids grew heavier and heavier. After what might've been a minute or ten, I heard another voice. Two, actually. Familiar, but my thoughts were so muddled that I couldn't remember who they were.

I felt someone holding my head up, and then something thick and gross was going down my throat. A healing potion, by the taste of it. As I swallowed it, I felt the pain recede a bit, and my mind cleared enough that I could finally make out what the voices were saying and who they were. My friends. I listened as my eyes closed, but I didn't fall away just yet. I wasn't quite ready to sleep, even though I knew I was safe. For the moment, I just wanted to hear them.

"Hand me those bandages, Biggs. Let's get her bound up," Tifa said. "Then we can move her."

I heard him next. "Right, Tifa. Here you go. Those bastards cut her pretty bad. It's a miracle she made it this far. Scares the hell outta me to see her like this. Will she pull through?"

She sighed. "Jessie's lost a lot of blood. It's still too early to say. But I think if we can keep a close watch on her through the night and get her wounds treated, she'll have a chance."

"She'll make it," a gruff voice said. It was Barret. "Don't worry 'bout that. Jessie ain't goin' down easy. She's tough. Let's jus' get her on home so she can rest. Wedge's got everythin' ready."

Then I felt a pair of big, strong arms pick me up and carry me only a moment later. I could tell from the feel of the hard metal barrel under my legs that it was Barret. His good arm was wrapped around my waist as he moved. My eyes were still closed, and I didn't have the energy left to open them anymore. But I managed to murmur a few words to him just before I finally passed out.

"Finished the mission, Barret…" I breathed.

"I know, Jessie," he said. "Did me proud. You gonna be awright, ya hear? We've gotcha covered. So you jus' go on an' rest for awhile an' let us handle everythin'. You earned it."

I intended to do just that. But first, as sleep finally closed in on me and my head sank against his chest, I whispered to him one more time. "Thanks… for believing in me…"

"Always did, girl," he replied. "Always did…"

Content now, I let myself rest.


	31. THIRTY

**THIRTY**

_I'm in the dark again, still in this weird in-between that I can't wake up from. I remember the journey through the sewers, another time I was badly hurt. But although I pulled through back then, I might not be quite so lucky this time. Cloud's words helped a little, wherever it was that they came from, but I can feel my body starting to give way, drawn inevitably toward that deeper blackness that I won't be able to return from. It's only a matter of time. The end's… getting closer._

_After I passed out in Barret's arms, I slept peacefully. I never came to this place back then. But I'm in here now, and that means I'm hurt worse than I was in the sewers. A lot worse. I wish I could remember, but from the time Barret and I separated high in the pillar and I stared down that Shinra chopper, it's still fuzzy. The trauma of whatever happened must've blocked out my memory of everything after that._

_As the cold starts to seep in around me, I hear another voice. Barret, his gruff rumble comforting and strong. I never meant to keep him in the dark about my past with Shinra, I just never knew how to tell him. It felt like he was starting to understand by the time we separated, though. I'm glad for that. He's a good friend, and I owe him far more than he knows.__Like Cloud's was before, his voice is all around me._

"_You holdin' up okay?" he says.__ "__I know your body wants to give out on ya, but you gotta stay strong now. This ain't gonna be your last dance, I can promise ya that. So hang on an' keep fightin'."_

_I cling to his words as if they were a lifeline, and I think they were. It eases the chill a little. I still can't leave this place, but I feel like I can hold out a bit longer. I want to. I have to. I know it won't go on forever. Sooner or later, it'll end, one way or another. Life or death. For a while, I hover a bit more, my mind either not ready or not able to go back into the stream of memories. And then there's another voice._

_It's Tifa. I can hear __how worried she is. "Be strong, okay? Everything's gonna be fine. Stay with us, Jessie. Stay alive."_

_She's always been there for me. Got me through the sewers and back home when I was hurt, and she hardly ever left my side after that during my recovery. Our mission and dangerous journey together brought us so much closer and made us the sisters we've been ever since. Not by blood, but by bonds that were just as strong._

_I must be laying in bed somewhere, more deeply out than I was after my ordeal in the sewers. And my friends are with me, too. One at a time if not all together. Just knowing they're out there gives me hope. Whether we saved Sector 7 or not, they're alive. Unless I'm just imagining it all as part of my passing. But I don't want to believe that. Still, doubt gnaws at me relentlessly. Then I hear him again. Cloud._

"_Don't stop fighting. Because we won't," he tells me.__ "__Remember what I told you, Jessie. Don't give up."_

_Short and to the point, just like Cloud. If I could smile in this place, I would. Even here, he's helping me, protecting me. Just like he always has, ever since the night we met. I think I'm falling in love with him a little bit more. Always knew there was more to him than that tough merc act he's always putting on. And I know he cares about me._

_I let his words and those of my friends fill me and keep me afloat. It's almost like when the sahagins tried to drown me. The cold and darkness of death is still pulling at me, trying to drag me down into the depths, but my friends have given me something to hold onto, something to keep me alive. And I'll cling to it for as long as I can._

_If I can just hold on long enough, then I know I can find a way out of here sooner or later. So I'll trust my friends and listen to their advice. I've never been one to give up when things get tough, and they can't get much harder than they are now. As I fall back into my memories, I use them to stay alert and alive and to keep on __fighting._

* * *

I woke up in bed sometime later, daylight softly streaming in from the window. This was the upstairs bedroom at _Seventh Heaven,_ the one I'd used for a few days after I had first moved to Sector 7. It made sense that Barret and the others had brought me over to the bar instead of to my house. Easier to look after me here.

Tifa must've gotten me changed during the night, because I was in a set of clean nightclothes, my hair undone and hanging loose. I could feel the bandages over my stomach, and the yucky aftertaste of another potion was in my mouth. As I slowly blinked open my eyes and looked around, I saw Tifa sitting in a chair next to the bed.

"Hey there," she said, giving me a relieved smile. "Good to see you awake, Jessie. How are you feeling?"

I yawned. "A little better. Been here long?"

Tifa nodded. "All night."

"Just couldn't tear yourself away from me, huh?" I teased. "Must be more popular than I thought."

"That's gotta be it," she laughed.

I chuckled with her. "Yeah. It's appreciated, though."

Tifa took my hand. "Anytime."

"Hey, Tifa," I wondered. "How close was I? To dying, I mean."

"Too close," she sighed. "It was touch and go there for a while, and I was afraid we'd lose you. But you pulled through."

I remembered the last time I'd had a brush with death, when I had saved Maddy from that hell house in Sector 5. That thing had roughed me up something fierce, and if Aerith hadn't found me and used those mysterious abilities of hers to save me, I'd have died. I missed her, and I sure could've used one of her healing winds right about now. I was still hurting, though not quite as much as before.

I smirked. "That's about what I figured. Sorry for making you guys worry. Guess I gave you all a good scare, huh?"

"It's okay," Tifa assured me. "You're alive, and that's all that matters. It won't be a fast recovery, though. Remember what I said, Jessie. You're here for the week. Plenty of rest."

"I hear ya," I agreed.

She smiled. "Good. Because you're going to need it."

I blinked. "What for?"

"Your training," Tifa answered.

"What?" I stared at her, my eyes wide. "You're gonna teach me how to fight like you do? Really?"

She nodded. "That's right. I've decided to do it."

"Because of what happened?" I asked.

"Yeah," Tifa said. "I don't want anything like that to happen to you again, and I'll feel better if I know that you can protect yourself. You've got your gun and grenades, but as we saw in the sewers, that might not always be enough. So I'm gonna train you."

I grinned. "Thanks, Tifa. When do we start?"

She thought for a minute. "Hmm… let's say in about a month. You need time to get back on your feet and recover your strength. We'll get to work right after that. And I'm gonna be pushing you hard, Jessie, so you had better be ready."

"Oh, I will," I promised. "Looking forward to it!"

"Me too," Tifa replied.

We talked for a while, simply enjoying each other's company. I was still tired, but I didn't feel like sleeping. I wasn't thrilled about spending a week in here, either. There wasn't much I could do about it, though. I knew how hurt I was, and I still felt a little weak. All I could do was lay there as Tifa and I talked.

"Are you hungry?" she asked as she changed my bandages.

That was an understatement. "Famished!"

Tifa chuckled. "Thought so. Well, now that you're awake, Jessie, I'll see about getting you something to eat. And I'll let the guys know, too. They've been so worried about you."

"Thanks, Tifa," I giggled. "I bet they have."

She nodded. "Wedge is downstairs in the kitchen. We figured you'd be hungry once you woke up, so he's been busy preparing. I'll give him a hand here in just a minute."

"So… what's on the menu?" I wondered.

"It's a surprise," Tifa winked. "Don't worry, though. You'll like it. As for Biggs, he's working on something for you, too. He'll be here as soon as I let him know you're awake."

I knew he would. "Good. Oh, and what about Barret?"

Tifa smiled. "I'll tell him, too. He's with Marlene right now, but I'm sure they'll come see you when they can."

"They'd better!" I quipped.

She laughed. "I'll be back soon, Jessie."

Then she was gone, slipping out the door and into the hall. As I let my head sink back onto the pillow, I wondered how long I'd been out. I saw how bright it was outside now and figured it must be sometime in the afternoon. There were only a few windows on the second floor, and one of them was in here. I could see the usual bustle of activity outside as people went back and forth down the road past the bar. A little later, I spotted Biggs hurrying this way.

He was carrying something, but I couldn't tell what it was from up here. I smiled, though, just excited at the thought of seeing my friends again. After my experience in the sewers, I was really glad I still could. I rested a little but didn't sleep, knowing Biggs, Wedge, and Tifa would be up here to see me before long.

After about fifteen or twenty minutes, I heard footsteps in the hall outside my room as a wonderfully familiar and tantalizing smell teased my nose. My mouth began to water as I looked toward the door. When Wedge walked inside carefully carrying a tray with the piping hot food he and Tifa had made for me, I couldn't help laughing.

"Pizza!" I smirked. "Should've known."

Wedge gave me a big smile. "Your favorite, just the way you like it! I'm so glad you're okay, Jessie."

I chuckled. "Me too. Thanks, Wedge."

Tifa came in a moment later with a drink for me. "Here you go. Let me give you a hand, okay?"

After setting the glass of ice water on the dresser, she gently helped me sit up so I could eat. Wedge put the tray in place in front of me, and I dug in. The food was every bit as good as it looked, cheese and sauce and toppings, all savory and delicious.

"What do you think?" Wedge asked. "It's not the Midgar Special, of course, but I think Tifa and I got pretty close."

I gave him a thumbs up. "Awesome! It's great, guys!"

He grinned. "Thanks! Mind if I have some?"

"As if you needed to ask," I winked. "You brought a whole pie, after all. No way I could eat it all myself."

Wedge eagerly helped himself to a slice, and so did Tifa. We shared a nice lunch together, and I was glad after what I'd gone through to be able to just eat and talk with my friends again. Twice now within only a few months, I had come close to death.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Tifa said, putting her plate down and moving to the dresser. "This fell on the floor while I was changing your clothes last night. Didn't want you to lose it."

She pulled open the top drawer, took something out, and carefully handed it to me. I smiled when I saw it. My baby chocobo feather in its flattened glass case. Ever since Sam had given to me, I'd kept it with me all the time, tucked safely in my pants pocket. Looked like he was right after all. The feather really did work.

"Well, what do you know…" I murmured.

Wedge blinked. "What's that?"

I showed him. "A good luck charm. A friend gave it to me before I moved to Sector 7. Guess we know it works, huh?"

"I'd say so," Tifa agreed.

"Mind putting this on the dresser for me?" I asked.

She did just that. "Not at all, Jessie."

Just then, I heard more footsteps in the hall as Wedge started in on his fourth slice of pizza, and a moment later, Biggs walked in, relief on his face when he saw me awake. And then amusement at the sight of us all having lunch together. But he wasn't alone, and my eyes lit up when I saw who had come with him.

"Lena!" I waved. "Good to see you!"

She went right over to me and gave me a gentle hug. "Jessie! You're alright! Biggs told me what happened, so I came over here as soon as I could. We've been pretty busy today."

I chuckled. "Doing what?"

"Getting your gear all fixed up for ya," Biggs answered, showing me what he was holding. "Here it is, good as new!"

He came over to the other side of the bed and put a large bag down next to me for a moment, then pulled it open so I could see inside. All my clothes and gear were in there—the leotard top, lycra pants, armor pieces, gloves, shin guards, chain vest, and even my belt with its handy pouch—and they'd all been cleaned and repaired. The clothes had been neatly folded as well, and my armor and other metal gear shone with a bright polish. Somehow, I wasn't surprised.

"Thanks, guys," I grinned. "That was really great of you."

Biggs nodded and put the bag in the corner. "Just one less thing for you to worry about. And it looks like Wedge got you lunch. Thought I smelled something good up here."

I looked at the empty pizza tray. "I'd offer you some, but…"

"Way ahead of you, Jessie," Tifa smirked. "I'll head downstairs and put that second pie in the oven. Wedge and I knew just one wouldn't be enough, so we made two. Be right back!"

"Awesome!" Biggs cheered.

Lena laughed. "Now that's more like it!"

After Tifa left, the rest of us talked for a bit, the guys and Lena still fussing over me and asking me how I was feeling. Having some food in my belly helped, but I _was_ getting a little tired. I still didn't have a lot of energy yet, and my abdomen ached where I'd been stabbed. But despite that, I had fun visiting with everyone.

And I didn't miss the way Wedge's eyes always seemed to find Lena when she wasn't looking. But hers lingered on him just as much, and if he turned toward her, she'd look away in a hurry, just like he did to her when she would come close to catching him. It was sweet and funny to watch, and I hoped they'd get together someday. A knowing look from Biggs told me that he'd seen it, too.

Tifa came back a little while later with the second pizza, and we all partook. It was a little crowded, but since everyone was standing except me and Tifa, it wasn't too bad. She was sitting in the chair she'd been in when I woke up. When I was finished and my stomach was nicely full, I barely stifled a yawn. Of course, Tifa noticed.

"Okay, guys," she said, standing up. "Visiting hours are over. Jessie's still in delicate shape, and she needs her rest."

Biggs nodded. "No problem. We'll be back tomorrow."

I smirked. "I'll be here."

Lena gave me another hug. "Take care, Jessie."

"Maybe I'll bring the cats over see you," Wedge said. "They've been worried about you, too. Especially Biggums."

"That'd be nice," I laughed.

He turned to Lena. "A-Are you, um… gonna be back?"

She ran a hand shyly through her short, dark brown hair. "Yeah… I will. I, um… I guess I'll see you then."

"Ah, well, uh… yeah…" Wedge stammered, blushing.

"C'mon, buddy," Biggs snickered, taking him by the arm and giving him a little push toward the door. "Time to go."

Lena waved at me. "Bye!"

"Later, guys!" I called, returning the favor.

Then they left, taking the tray and leftovers along with them while Tifa helped me lay down again. It was almost dark now, and although I was getting drowsy and I knew the sleep would do me good, I didn't let myself go quite yet. Tifa had settled back into her chair with a book on her lap. She leaned forward for a moment.

"Need anything?" she asked.

I shook my head. "Nope. You don't have to stick around, you know. I'm sure you've got stuff to do."

Tifa smiled. "Nothing that can't wait."

"You sure?" I wondered. "What about the bar?"

"Barret's helping me with that. That's why he hasn't come up to see you yet. Been busy getting things ready for tonight. You'd be surprised at how well he can mix a drink."

I giggled. "Marlene must be having a blast."

"Hard to believe she'll be three in just a few weeks," Tifa marveled. "She's growing so fast, you know?"

"Yeah! Little thing's sprouting like a weed," I chuckled.

She relaxed in her chair and opened up her book. "Seems we've got ourselves a birthday party to plan, then."

"We'll make it a good one," I promised. "The best!"

Tifa grinned. "You bet. Now get some sleep, Jessie. Doctor's orders. I'll be here if you need me, okay?"

I yawned again. "Sounds good to me. Night, Tifa."

"Night, Jessie," she said.

As she turned down the lights, I finally let my eyes slide closed. I'd had a long but fun afternoon, and normally I'd have been up a lot later. But I was still hurting and only just starting to recover from all I'd gone through down in the sewers last night, so sleep caught up to me pretty quickly. And before I knew it, I was out.

* * *

When I woke up early the next morning, Tifa was gone, but Barret was in her place, sitting in the chair by the bed. He brightened up right away when he saw I was awake, relief all over his face, but he didn't say anything, not at first. He just sat there looking at me for a moment as I gazed back at him, remembering his words to me the other night. How he had always believed in me.

"Hey, girl," he murmured. "How ya holdin' up?"

I smiled. "A little better, thanks. I'll probably be climbing the walls before long, though. The customer service here's totally awesome, but I kinda wanna get back on my feet."

Barret grinned. "I don't blame ya. I'd feel the same way. Stayin' still for too long ain't my thing, either."

"You got that right! So where's Tifa?" I wondered.

"In bed gettin' some shut-eye," he said. "She didn't wanna leave ya, but I convinced her to lay down for a bit. Girl musta been up the whole day an' night ever since you two came back."

I didn't doubt it. "I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her. Did she tell you about the mission? And the sewers?"

He nodded. "All of it, Jessie. You did jus' fine."

"Thanks, Barret," I told him. "I know blowing up that supply depot wasn't exactly part of the plan, but… after what happened in there, I… I had to try and stop what they were doing, or at least slow it down for a while. For Danny's sake. And everyone else Shinra's taken and turned into those horrible, crazy things."

Barret laid his good hand on my shoulder. "Don't you worry 'bout it. You made the right call, Jessie. Can't be lettin' them bastards do that shit to people. I'm damn prouda ya."

Hearing that validation made my whole morning. I had wondered how he'd feel about what had happened, and knowing that he approved of my choice took some weight off my shoulders. I had wanted to do a good job on this mission, to show him he could rely on me. I also owed him for Corel, though he didn't know. That was a debt I doubted that I could ever repay, but I didn't care.

"Glad to strike a blow for the planet!" I beamed.

"Yeah, 'bout that…" Barret sighed.

I frowned. "What's wrong?"

"We nearly lost ya, Jessie," he said. "I didn't know that mission was gonna be so dangerous. Kinda feel like it's my fault you got hurt so bad, ya know? So, uh… I'm real sorry."

I reached up and put my hand over his. "Why? You've got nothing to apologize for. I knew what I was getting into when I signed on. And ya gotta admit, it makes one hell of a story."

"Guess it does, don't it?" he agreed. "Thanks, girl."

I smiled. "Sure thing, Barret. So don't go beating yourself up about what happened to me. It's not your fault."

He scratched his head. "Awright. An' if you, uh… wanna back out, ain't no one'll think less of ya. Avalanche ain't exactly the safest thing to be in. So it's fine if ya don't wanna go no further."

"Who said anything about quitting?" I sat up slowly, narrowing my eyes as I did. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm in, all the way. Gonna take a hell of a lot more than getting stuck by a damn turtle to get me to back out, Barret. I'm still with you, always will be."

Barret's answering grin was wide and warm. "Glad to hear it, Jessie. Was hopin' you'd stick with us."

I smirked. "You're gonna have a hard time getting rid of me."

"That's what I'm talkin' 'bout," he laughed. "Oh, by the way, almost forgot. Marlene made this for ya."

He took something off the top of the dresser, then handed it to me. It was a sheet of paper from one of Marlene's sketch pads—she loved to draw—and on it was a big scribble of colorful lines and shapes done in crayon. She must've used just about every color in the box. It was really nice, though, and I thought I saw a pair of stick figures in the middle of it. The rest I wasn't quite sure of.

I gazed fondly at it. "Marlene drew this for me?"

"Yeah," Barret nodded. "S'posedta be you an' her playin' together in the bar. Least that's what she said."

It did look that way, now that I thought about it. "So adorable! This little masterpiece is going right onto my fridge when I finally get home. Tell her thank you for me, okay? That was really thoughtful of her. I bet her dad had something to do with it."

He chuckled. "Mighta. But you can tell her yourself, Jessie. She'll be up soon enough, an' I think it'd make her happy to come see ya. You up for breakfast with me an' the little lady?"

"Oh, I could _definitely_ go for that," I giggled.

"Well, awright," Barret smiled. "I'll get it ready, then. You jus' go on an' relax, an' we'll be back before ya know it."

Then he stood up, gave my shoulder a little squeeze, and left. I felt good, more sure of myself and the hard choices I'd had to make during the mission. Avalanche was where I belonged. I knew that without any doubt. No matter where our cause took us, I would be there. Whatever it took to save the planet and stop Shinra.

But I had no idea then just how far it would go.


End file.
